Protector
by Kitty T's Keyboard
Summary: After a vicious attack when she was thirteen, Bella Swan writes a story about what happened to her to try to find and bring her attacker to justice. She had no idea what the ramifications of signing over the rights to have it made into a film, or what choosing Edward Cullen to play her brother Emmett would be. BPOV A/H A/U Canon pairings. Rated M for mature themes and later lemons!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! So, here is Bella's story. To those that have been reading Edward's story, this might end up answering some questions. To those that haven't, this is a companion story to Protector: Something at First Sight, but you don't need to read the other story for this one to make sense, though there are some parts that are left out for the reason of needless repetition. I will give you the same warning I gave the guys on the other side though; I'm going to need you to give me a bit of creative lee-way here. This is fiction, and I'm not nearly as smart as I think I am. ;) And also...  
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**Content warning: This story is rated Mature for adults, and is a lot darker than Edward's side of the story. It contains death, violence, drinking, drugs, lots of foul language, lemons and deals with sexual assault. This story will not be appropriate for all readers, so please continue at your own discretion.**

**SM owns Twilight.**

**Protector****  
>Bella<strong>

"_Heads up boss, Edward and Alice Cullen just walked in the building,"_ Jake called through my ear piece.

Rose had told me that her cousin_s_, plural, were coming by tonight, so I had been expecting to see him come walking in after Alice. I had seen _her_ many times before, she was Rose's cousin and they hung out quite often, so I'd obviously heard a lot about her. Of course I'd checked her out myself, she was close to Rose after all. Alice Cullen owned a somewhat new, yet very well-off clothing company. She was one of the most sought-after names for all the large award shows, the Emmy's, the Golden Globes, all of that other useless trash. She was born here in New York, twenty-three years old, graduated top of her class at Parsons, and the only things on her criminal record were a few speeding tickets. I couldn't really blame her with that beautiful canary-yellow Porsche she had.

And she had a bit of a stalker. James Trake was here tonight, which was why I was watching out for her.

She didn't know I existed, despite the fact that she was friends with my brother and Rose, my sister for all intents-and-purposes. But no one did. Until I meant for them to.

Oh, and her brother just happened to be Edward Fucking Cullen. The sweet boy who I'd chosen to play my Emmett. That was one of my only two requests to Marcus, that he let me choose who played my brother, and that they say that Victor wasn't actually caught, and show a picture of him at the end of the film.

He thought it would be an excellently moving end, and had agreed.

I still had the thank you letter Edward had written me hidden away safely. I was actually going to get to see him in person for the first time though, not that I would actually talk to him. Still, it was pretty cool.

That was eight years ago though, and as soon as he walked through the door I knew that sweet, polite boy was long gone. He had that cocky, arrogant air to him, and I let out a disappointed sigh.

James had noticed Alice immediately, and I fought the urge to knock him out just for the way he was looking at her. If I was going to actually help her though, I needed to be strategic about this. A slap on the wrist would do more harm than good, I knew his type. If he actually touched her against her will in my territory, I could eliminate him as a threat for her. I already had some dirt on him that could get him taken in, but the whole point was Alice. He couldn't be allowed near her anymore.

It would work, but I hated that I'd have to let him touch her for it to do so. I'd much rather to just knock him out right now and threaten him, but they always come back.

James had the opportunity to be an easy fix though. He was an easy person to see, not a good hunter. He could be controlled. My eyes flickered back to him every few seconds as I went back to scanning the faces of the other occupants of the room, looking for any signs of aggression or hostility on their inebriated faces.

I wasn't the only person scanning the room. Mr. Movie Star was inspecting the large crowd carefully, no doubt looking for his next victim. Apparently he broke up with that actress he'd been with; Rose told me that it was pretty bad and that he had actually moved back here. Rose hadn't been close to him for years though. I'd unfortunately seen too many photos on the trashy magazines lined up by the check-out in my grocery store of how he 'coped' with being single, leaving a trail of scattered panties in his wake where ever he went.

He seemed like a douche, but I had to admit that he was fucking gorgeous. Messy, dark bronze hair, strong jaw, tall, muscular, broad-shouldered… I didn't usually pay any attention to that short of thing, but seriously, he had to be the most gorgeous looking man I had ever seen, even with that cocky smile that controlled his lips.

God, I really needed to get some sleep.

He stopped at the bar and ordered a drink, then went back to checking out the room, his eyes eventually moving over my inconspicuous perch.

Then his face snapped back to me, and he just stared at me for a long minute. Even looking away from him completely, I could still feel his gaze on me, filling my body with a tingling buzz of awareness. Why the hell was he staring at me? It was rare anyone even noticed me in my corner. He was being fucking weird, staring at me like that, and after a minute he started to fidget almost like he was excited or restless.

The he started walking towards me.

I panicked, and as soon as Henry called him back for his drink, I ducked into the crowd and shifted to a spot behind a large square pillar.

I watched as he looked back for me, and then scanned the room when he realized I wasn't there. He didn't see me, and seemed to huff angrily like a pouting child before walking over to the others and dropping down into the spot next to Rose.

Well, that was different.

I didn't like working from this spot, I felt too _in_ the crowd to _watch_ it properly. The people were too close to me, and I was continuously swaying away from their stumbling proximity. I waited until he finished his drink, hoping that was sufficient enough time for him to forget about me before I moved back to my spot. My watched beeped.

"Twenty-three hundred, give me a check," I said into my wrist gear.

"Front's good, there's a crazy line but we're at full capacity," Jacob's voice said back into my ear through the hidden piece.

"Bar one and floor good."

"Two and bathrooms good."

"Three and lounge good."

"Lookout is calm."

I waited for a moment, then sighed in annoyance. "Where's Felix?" I asked shortly. You didn't fuck with my roll call, not when the night was peaking like this and I was fucking short staff.

"Uh… he just ran to the bathroom boss, but I got this, I swear."

I didn't have the time to pull him out of whatever woman he had charmed tonight. Not with James here.

"Keep me posted Seth."

"Sure thing boss."

Unfortunately, it didn't take very long for Hollywood to find me again. He grinned when he noticed me, and took a deep swing of his drink. I never turned my head in his direction, but still found myself watching _him_ out of my peripherals.

…And he's staring at me again.

What the hell is wrong with him? Does he not know that it's not socially acceptable to just openly stare at someone like that? And Rose says _my_ social skills are lacking.

I didn't have to ask _why_ he was doing it though, it was clear as day in the way he was watching me, with a hunger in his eyes that made me feel almost sick. He looked like he was plotting a kill, and that fucking pissed me off. I hated men like that, looking at women like fucking trophies to be won, conquered. Well, I disliked most men in general, but men like him especially. He probably thought he was top shit. Yeah, he was hot, but not enough to distract from his arrogance.

That crooked grin got bigger, and I clenched my fists and I turned my face to look him right the fuck back.

_Yes asshole, I see you, now fuck off._

He just fucking smiled at me, showing off his perfect white teeth and adorable dimples before he winked at me. It was a nice smile, but I wasn't stupid enough to even acknowledge his shit. I went back to searching the room. I caught James' back as he stormed into the washroom, then watched these two girls that were getting a little too rowdy on the dance floor.

Jaw Bones was still watching me, but he was attempting to be more inconspicuous about it now and I resigned to just trying to ignore him. It wasn't easy, that face was very distracting. I hated being distracted; I wasn't being efficient enough in distributing my attention.

Henry was arguing with someone at the bar. He looked like he had it under control, but I watched carefully, ready to spring at any moment if the man reached over the counter. He gave the man a bowl of pretzels, and the drunk just fucking beamed at him, all traces of his anger gone, and I looked back at the dance floor, then Rose's table in my peripherals again.

Alice was gone. She had her drinks brought to the table, so I looked over the logical path to the bathroom. Sure enough, she was halfway there, having cut through the dance floor. James was blocking her path, and she looked terrified, looking up at the tall man.

_Don't worry, you're going to be fine._

I didn't have to wait long; she tried to back-track to her table, and he reached out and took her arm. She pulled against him, obviously telling him to let her go, and he started pulling her. Right in the middle of the dance floor, a perfect shot on my security camera.

_Got it._

I wove through the crowd easily, swiftly, and I was with them in seconds. I didn't hesitate, I grabbed onto the wrist of the hand that was holding onto the tiny woman's arm, and then brought my other elbow down on his forearm sharply. He shouted like a little girl, catching the attention of the others around us. I didn't fucking care. I twisted his injured arm behind his back as I hit him in the back of the knee hard enough to make him go down, pinning him to the floor.

I fucking did it. If she wanted him gone, I could do this for her. I finally let myself smile, leaning in to the fucker's ear. I could see a little bit of white powder on the inside of his nostril, which explained his sloppiness tonight.

"Wrong fucking move, asshole." I looked back up to Alice, who was watching me with a stunned expression, still in shock no doubt from him grabbing her like that. I tried not to let myself feel too bad, this was for her own good. She could grow stronger from this. I tried to keep my voice gentle, soothing as I addressed her, and her brother was there next to her now with an equally stunned expression on his pretty face. "You okay sweetheart?"

I almost called her by her actual name.

I wasn't supposed to know her name.

Besides, names were too personal for me. And I didn't do that. And most girls liked those sorts of pet names, right? I had no fucking clue, and as awkward as the name felt coming off of my lips, if was the safest choice.

She nodded at me quietly.

"Bitch, you better get off of me or I'll-" I dug my knee into his back to shut him up, fucking loving to have an excuse. He cringed, and I quickly zip-tied his hands to free mine.

"Shut it," I warned him, then turned back to Alice quickly. We were drawing attention and I didn't think she'd like that. I gave her a reassuring smile. "Would you like to press charges?"

She stuttered, looking scared now. I got that, I didn't trust the fucking police either, but I knew what I was doing. "I would very much recommend it sweetheart. It seems like this prick knows you, and with my video surveillance and testimony you can easily have a restraining order put on him."

Her brother put his arm around her shoulders protectively, and although it was a sweet gesture it pissed me off. She was doing well, it was better for her to deal with this herself; it would make her feel stronger, standing up for herself and giving the order. She obviously needed that with this man.

"Yes, she'll-"

"I'm talking to _her_, it's her choice," I said, cutting him off and forcing myself not to snap at him. I needed to keep this discussion calm for her. Rose was hurrying over to us, catching my words, and was laughing at the expression on his face. I concentrated on Alice, trying to keep eye contact. "Sweetie? Yay or nay?" I said in a light voice.

It made her laugh, and she nodded her head. I was so proud of her, I knew she could do it, and she did it herself. I acknowledged her agreement, then hopped back up to my feet before yanking the heavy man up to his. I called to Jake to get him to send up someone to watch James once I was finished with him, while I pushed him over to my office. Rose trotted after me, and I stopped when she put a gentle hand on my arm to stop me.

She looked at James meaningfully, then at me. "Will you be back soon?" She asked simply. I gave her a small nod of silent confirmation, and she smiled slightly. She never asked what I did in my office, but I knew she had a very active imagination. Nothing else needing to be said, I pushed him forward towards the door by the bar again, leading him to my office.

Jake came up himself, saying he wanted a break from outside, and grinned at me as I shoved James inside my office and pushed him down into a chair. The door closed automatically behind Jacob as he walked in and leaned against the wall casually, locking it with a slow, audible click. I guess his presence could be seen as intimidating, he was as big as Emmett, but just like my brother I knew he was just a big, muscular teddy bear. I walked over to the chair behind my desk, sitting down and opening up the video feed for the dance floor.

"Look, you can't-"

"Shut your mouth James."

"How do-"

He went quiet as I opened up my desk drawer, pulled out a roll of duct tape, and slammed it shut before walking over to him, ripping off a large piece and placing it over his mouth. He stared at me with wide eyes as I watched him coolly.

"I do _not_ like to fucking repeat myself," I informed him, and then walked back around to my desk. I sat back down quietly, copying the segments I needed, burning them, then going into the file I had compiled of other nights of him watching her and burning them onto a second disk. I then typed up his confession of what he did tonight, and got all the forms ready for Alice that she'd need to fill out before printing all the documents off. I took out the cherry for the sundae, which was in the form of a large manila envelope, and set it down on my desk before walking around, and leaning against it while I looked at him evenly. I crossed my arms over my chest.

"James, you are never going to see or look for Alice Cullen again. You are going to sign this confession that I have so kindly taken the time to write up for you, and Alice is going to have a restraining order put on you. You will not be allowed within three-hundred feet of her at any time. You cannot be in the same building as her, write her e-mails, text, or call her ever again. You will also never step foot in my club again." I leaned forward, and ripped the tape off of his mouth, not going out of my way to be gentle.

"What makes you think I'm going to sign _anything?_ You can't fucking force me," he sneered. He was nervous though, I could see it.

"Because, James, if you don't, when I call the police to bring you in, I'm going to give them this," I picked up the manila envelope, taking out the large stack of e-mails. "Selling insider's stock tips, prostitution, drugs… you really shouldn't write about stuff like this in e-mails James, it leaves a trail. Though you have made this fairly easy for me." He gaped at them as I dropped them onto his lap, then pulled my knife out of my boot and cut his ties. I walked back over to my desk, handing him the form and a blue pen. He signed quickly, and then Jacob signed as a witness without needing to be asked. James was glaring at me as I slid everything into an envelope for Alice.

"How do I know you won't give those e-mails to them anyways?"

_Because I obtained them illegally, idiot._ "Because I don't need to. The cocaine in your pocket will have you locked up long enough for the forms to go through. Feel free to play some Tetris if you want Jake. There are a few cans of Pringles in my top drawer too."

"Thanks boss!" He said happily, dropping down into my chair. I bit back my grin, and stopped at my fridge before leaving, taking out the container of fruit that I had been planning to eat for my two a.m. snack. I grabbed a plate from behind the bar, and dumped the fruit onto it, grabbing a fork before I walked over to their table. I set the fruit down in front of Alice, and she just stared at me.

"You should eat something, that sort of stress while drinking isn't healthy." I think she was still in shock, I had watched her enough to know this behaviour was drastically out of character. "Eat," I insisted, putting a bit more command into my voice while trying not to _sound_ frustrated. She followed my instruction, and as she took the fork and ate a strawberry and I gave her a satisfied nod of approval.

"T-thank you, for what you did," she whispered shyly. Was she afraid of me? Damn it, I should have been more discreet with taking him down. But it had been _so_ satisfying.

"Don't worry about it sweetheart," I told her quickly. God, smiling like this was exhausting. I set the manila envelope with the evidence that she needed, along with the proper forms so there would be no fuck-ups at the station, and she just looked at me questioningly. What else would I be giving her? What did Rose tell them?

_And why wouldn't he stop fucking staring at me? _

I sighed, trying to reign in my frustration for what felt like the millionth time today and my hand automatically went to try and rub out the knot in my neck.

I dropped my hand back down though. Taking liberties even as small as that, it was a sign of weakness. I could not show that in these clothes.

I spoke quickly so I could get this over with and go back to work. "I know you probably won't want to deal with this right now, but it's important to do while the details of the incident are still fresh. These are the appropriate police forms, along with James' signed confession and the video surveillance footage."

"Oh," she said, staring at the envelope uncomfortably. Fuck, did she change her mind? Please don't change your mind, it would not be fun just letting him go. But I wasn't going to pressure her, it had to be her choice. She needed to choose to show him that he couldn't do this to her.

"Of course, it's still your choice. If you want to deal with this now and get it over with, I can call an officer to help when they come take him." As soon as I said the word 'officer' she flinched, and I improvised quickly. I wasn't going to lose this opportunity to help her because of a lack of trust in the justice system. "Or I can help you myself, if you'd prefer."

"Really?" She asked me hopefully.

"Sure," I said with a shrug, though I was really not looking forward to the socially awkward celebrity sitting across from me. I tried not to flinch away when Alice leaned in to whisper to me.

"But… he only grabbed me, what if the thing isn't like, approved? He could just get angrier and come back. What if he finds a way to weasel his way out of being guilty?"

She was a smart girl. "Not with a signed confession, which I've already acquired. It's already a done deal, I have experience handling this sort of thing," I assured her. The smile that lit of her face was brilliant.

"How'd you get a signed confession from him? You've only been gone like twenty minutes," he said, cutting in. God, his voice was so deep and smooth, reminding me of caramel, but I hated it when people butted into my conversations. Couldn't he see that we were in the middle of something right now? Maybe I could just scare him off.

I looked him evenly in the eyes, ignoring the fluttering feeling that those dark emeralds burned into my stomach, and pierced him with a menacing smile. "Don't ask questions you don't want the answers to," I told him coldly, feeling triumphant when he shuddered. I looked back to Alice. "What's your verdict sweetheart?"

"I'd like to get it over with now, you sure you don't mind?"

"Nope. You want something more private, or right here?" I still wasn't sure if she was afraid of me or not, if she was more comfortable with Rose and her brother here, that was fine by me.

Though it would have been nice to get away from his calculating stare.

"Would it be okay to do it here?"

"Sure sure. I'll be right back." I got up, dashing over to my office, and stealing a handful of Pringles from Jake as I grabbed my laptop. James was sitting quietly in the chair, glaring at me as I moved around. I called Paul to arrange for him to be picked up, telling him to give me one hour and was back next to Alice in no time, opening up my laptop as I sat down next to her.

"Jake, we got a guy that keeps trying to dance on bar two," Embry called through my ear piece.

"I'll come handle him, come swap with me and take over in boss' office, I'm babysitting right now."

Jake was almost as bad as I was when it came to our tempers, which was why I liked him. He was my best employee, my second-in-command at the club, never asked questions, and never had to be told something more than once. I also knew that he tended to get carried away when he tried to 'handle' people. Nope, not tonight. I didn't have the patience to deal with a lawsuit. I brought my wrist gear up to my mouth.

"Just toss his ass Jake." He heard the warning.

"No, I'll behave-"

"I don't give a shit-"

"Boss, he's _bad _drunk. Drugs too, probably," Embry said.

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. I wasn't heartless, I wouldn't throw him on the streets if there was a chance of him hurting himself. "Fine, get Felix to pull him through and set him up with Carlos."

"He's uh, still in the washroom," Seth said. I fought the urge to walk down there and kick him in the nuts, throw him off his game for a while so he'd get some fucking work done. My patience was at its limit for the night.

"He's on _my time_ right now, if I come down there and he has his dick in some girl's mouth, I'll cut it off, and then I'll fire his ass. Get it done."

"Sure thing boss," Seth said quickly, voice slightly panicked, and I pulled out my blackberry. I hit dial after quickly finding Carlos' number.

"Hey Carlos, its B."

"Hey honey, you sending someone over?"

"Yeah, Felix is going to bring one by, just give him a fucking sandwich or something and put it on my tab, then put him in a cab. I'll stop by on my way out."

"That was a beautiful rhyme honey, you getting into poetry?" He asked teasingly.

"Bite me." I put the phone back in my pocket quickly and opened up the appropriate templates. Typing would go much faster. "Sorry about that," I told her quickly, hoping I hadn't scared her off more with my language.

"What was that?" Rose asked curiously, leaning in with an excited smile. She loved this shit.

"Just a drunk causing a scene. Too plastered to send off in the streets, wouldn't be safe. He'll be better after he eats," I told her, filling out the sections that it would be acceptable for me to know. If I started filling out her birthday and middle name she might get suspicious. Alice leaned in closer to me, and I forced myself not to shift away as she watched my screen and started whispering all the information for the other sections. I was happy that she seemed comfortable around me, but the proximity was unsettling. I was good with Emmett, and getting better every day with Rose and Jasper, but… I just didn't like people touching me. Even being close enough to me to touch me. It was just uncomfortable.

It was the same feeling I had before Victor grabbed me. I hated it. I hated _him_.

I forced myself to breathe while I typed Alice's words. I could do multitasking. Just keep moving your fingers and lungs.

James had been her boyfriend in high school, and she had broken up with him during her first year of university. He still called her often, and showed up at a lot of places she frequented. The man just wouldn't take no for an answer.

Her brother reached over slowly, picking up a strawberry from the plate I had given Alice. He popped it into his mouth with a grin, leaning back against the seat and chewing slowly, never once taking his eyes off of me.

I finally let myself look up at him, about to yell at him, but this adorable, goofy, crooked smile spread across his face. I then realized he was absolutely shitfaced. Did he always drink like this? Was it a movie star thing, or was he drinking because he was upset? Either way, something about it was sad, and that adorable, slightly vulnerable smile stopped me from shouting.

"Hey Movie Star. Does it ever piss you off when all your fan girls follow you around and watch you?" See, I could be nice, or polite. Ish. He nodded, and looked like he was waiting for me to continue. I tried to give him a minute to put two and two together, but he just kept smiling at me. He _was_ smashed. "Take the fucking hint and stop staring at me."

The others laughed, and I went back to typing quickly to distract myself from the chastised look I had put on his face. I was not going to feel guilty about this, he was being ridiculous. Luckily I finished quickly, and printed off the forms to bring back for her to sign. Once I had the signatures, I said goodnight and practically sprinted back to my office before I could get sucked into any more questions. Paul was already there, sitting on my couch. He nodded to me when I came in, but waited silently while I emptied out the envelope and repacked it with everything that was needed.

"He was harassing one of my guests, physically assaulted her. She's having a restraining order put on him. Here is the video surveillance of the incident that took place tonight, along with other footage of him watching her in my club. All of the necessary forms have been filled out, along with his own signed confession." Paul just nodded, that perpetual guilty, weak look in his eyes irritating me. "I want this processed _quickly_, Paul."

"I can have it officiated Monday morning as soon as the judge gets in," he said.

I took a steadying breath. "Thank you." His eyes went wide, and I tried not to let it annoy me more. "I'm pretty sure he has drugs on him, you should be able to hold him until then so there aren't any problems." I handed the envelope to him.

"That would be an affirmative boss, he tried to dispose of them while you were gone," Jake said teasingly, waving as he walked towards my door.

"Can you do a roll call for me?"

"Sure thing boss," he said easily. Paul pulled James to his feet, slapping some cuffs on him.

"I'm going to make you regret this," he hissed at me. He flinched when I stood up quickly and smiled at him.

"I'd like to see you fucking try."

He glared, but Paul pulled him along quickly, closing my door behind him. I walked over and dropped into my chair, bringing up the monitors and staring blankly at the feed.

I just felt so tired. It had been a long day, but I knew better than to try and close my eyes right now. I was too on edge, still filled with that uncomfortable feeling of sitting too close to Rose's cousin and being stared at like a piece of cake for the past few hours. I knew what I would see if I closed them.

So I watched the monitors from my office. I wasn't going back there while he was still there, because I knew I'd lose my temper and knock him out. That's all I needed right now, a law suit from Mr. Hollywood for breaking his pretty nose. It was quiet though, and getting quieter, so I just stayed in there watching even though it made me feel like I was slacking off.

The bars called for last call, and by three my boys had herded the rest of the stragglers out. They each came up to my office to turn in their gear and say goodnight, and I waited until the bar tenders had finished counting their tills and left before going and checking on Rose's office.

She was sitting at her desk, typing away which I found curious, but when I walked around behind her I smiled when I realized she was just on Facebook.

It kind of looked like fun. It was so weird how Facebook and twitter had just seemed to take over the world over the past couple years. It made me feel even more different, not being a part of something that was almost like an obligation in today's society. They were great for getting information on other people though.

"Whatcha doing?" I asked, making her jump.

"Jeeze B! You scared the shit out of me," she said with a laugh, smiling over at me.

"Hey, I've taught you better than that. It's your own fault for letting your guard down," I teased, making her roll her eyes. "Where's Emmett?"

"He was crashing at Garrett's tonight," she told me, looking at the clock uncomfortably. I don't know why she was still so shy about asking, she knew I'd drive her home without question. There was no way I'd let Rose go out in this town at night by herself, even to wait for a cab.

I would never let anything happen to her again. The memory of finding her in that alley with those three men… it haunted me more than the night with Victor.

"Cool, I'll give you a lift. Let's go," I said. I loved how easy it was for me to make her smile, and I knew for a fact that there were few people who could accomplish such a feat. It always made me feel accomplished. And relieved. She could still smile, even after what happened. She was strong, and I always admired strength.

"Thanks Bella," she said, giving me a relieved smile. We walked over to my office again, and I lent her a pair of pants to throw on under her dress before tossing her my extra helmet. After making our way down the stairwell, we slipped into the alley between our building and Carlos' shop, and walked in so I could pay him before we went back out and hopped onto my bike. She slid on behind me, wrapping her arms around my waist as I started it up, then I pulled out of the alley to make my way through town to her building.

"How was Alice holding up?" I asked while we were stopped at a red light.

"She seems really good actually, relieved even. What happened with him? It seemed pretty well organized."

"I'm always well-organized Rose," I said with a laugh, talking louder over the wind.

"You know what I mean Bella, what did you do?"

I let out a little huff of air before speaking; there was no harm in telling Rose. If she hadn't left me yet, I doubt there was anything I could tell her that would scare her off. "Well, I had been compiling footage of him watching her for a while, I knew right off the bat that he was bad news. When it became apparent that he had a bit of an obsession, I looked into him, found some dirt. I threatened to report said dirt to the police if he didn't sign the confession I'd written up for him on the assault in the club. He pretty much yanked the pen out of my hand to sign on the dotted line."

"Why didn't you just report the things you found to the police and have him put away for that?"

"Because I didn't trust that he'd be convicted, I obtained the evidence illegally, and because that wouldn't have done anything to help Alice. He would have just gotten back out and gone back to stalking her. I wasn't going to let that happen. I hate that I had to let him grab her, but now he'll never be able to get close to her again without breaking the law and being jailed. This was better for her in the long run."

She was quiet for a long moment. "Thank you, for doing all of that. For helping her."

"Of course. She's important to you, so she's important to me," I said obviously. Her hold around my waist tightened momentarily in a bit of a hug.

"She really likes you, you know. I think you two would get along well. You should hang out with her."

"You know why I can't do that Rose," I said, pulling up in front of her building. I turned off my bike, helping her down and walking her inside.

"You know you can't keep living like this sweetie. I know why you do but… You need people in your life. You need friends."

"I have friends," I spat back defensively. I didn't want to have this conversation again.

"No, contacts and employees are not the same as friends. You have Zeus, Jasper and us."

"That's a lot of people Rose."

"But aren't you lonely? Don't you get bored?"

"No," I told her honestly. I had more than a few hobbies. I was busy.

She sighed, looking at me sadly. "I'm sorry, you know I just worry about you."

"I know, and you should know by now that you don't have to. I like my life, it doesn't need to change." It isn't safe for people to get close to me, I can only protect so many, and I can't give Victor any more opportunities for leverage over me.

Enough people were already dead because of me.

"I know, but I love you, and I'm going to worry about you anyways," she said lightly, leaning in and giving me a hug. "Can you just try and think about it a little? Alice is a really great person, we can even all hang out together if you'd like that better."

"I'll think about it," I told her, just so she'd drop it. Her happy smile made me feel guilty, and once she had her door opened I gave her a wave and went back out to my bike, and was home in fifteen minutes.

"Mommy's home!" I called out, walking through my door. Some of the tension just seemed to melt off of my shoulders as my giant baby boy barreled into me, jumping up and licking my face. "Sorry baby, I had to give Auntie Rose a lift home," I cooed, ruffling his fur and dropping down on my knees to give him a hug. I loved that he was big enough to really hug. "Wanna go outside?"

He barked happily, his giant tongue hanging out of the side of his mouth, and I opened up the door for him to run out ahead of me. I jogged up the stairs after him, and after opening the door we walked out onto my beautiful roof.

This was why I had bought this building. Yes, it was also a good investment, buying out the foreclosure I'd gotten it at was a damn steal, and owning the building offered me a much better level of security, but this roof was the main selling point. It had been built to support a rooftop garden but the previous owner hadn't made it that far, and it was the first thing I had done once I'd gotten settled and done all my research on my new tenants. It had taken days just to get all the dirt in through the service elevator, after all the preparation work, and when I'd gotten my job at the library I had just hired a company to come in and finish it for me. I just didn't have the time. They had done exactly what I'd asked them too, doing a large patio area, a couple small sitting areas, and covering the rest in grass, trees, bushes and flowers. I'd also had a fence put around, just as a safety precaution for Zeus, and I rented it out for parties. The other half of the top floor I had renovated into a large kitchen and dining room for caterers, but I had tenants that liked to rent that too just for larger family gatherings. Another perk; my half of the top floor could only be accessed by the service elevator and one of the stairwells. I had found a legal way to build walls to separate the east and west side of my building on the top floor. I've kept the second half of my apartment, which seemed like a completely separate apartment to anyone who didn't know, pretty empty since Rose moved in with Emmett. You even needed a key to use the service elevator, and Emmett and I were the only people who had one.

I loved this roof though, and so did Zeus. I usually felt myself calm down as soon as I sat down on my comfy swinging bench, but not tonight. I felt restless, agitated, irritated. The white noise was numbing, but not in a good way. I felt like I couldn't finish a single thread of thought in my mind, and like someone was pushing down on my chest. I leaned forward, resting my forehead on my knees, and forcing my breathing to remain even. I was being ridiculous; there was nothing wrong with me. Calm the fuck down.

Zeus had come to my rescue once again, whining softly as he stuck his wet nose in my ear and made me laugh. He started licking my face, standing up on his hind legs with his front paws on my lap. "Okay, okay, I'm sorry! You're going to crush me," I laughed, trying to wrestle him off of me. He was such a good boy. My baby. He made my life complete. It was nice having someone to take care of, he was the only person in the world that really needed me.

We went back inside, and after checking my news scanner and e-mail accounts, I went and took a nice long shower. It felt so good taking out that stupid bun, the thing was heavy but I was not going to cut it. Victor loved my hair short, he made that obvious when we realized he cut off the hair of each of his victims to my old shoulder-length. That may have had something to do with the fact that I hadn't cut it in eight years. It was a disguise in itself also, but it was too much of a liability in my line of work. I loved wearing it down when I was in the safety of my home; I had some pretty awesome hair. It was crazy long now, thick and healthy, and a dark brown that had a red tint to it.

I just slipped on a large t-shirt once I dried off and brushed my teeth, and grabbed the book off my nightstand before sliding into my bed. When just reading the words didn't work to clear my mind, I started reading them aloud. Zeus was looking at me like I was crazy, but I'd have to admit that I probably was. I didn't care, he would always love me. I read and read until my throat hurt and my eyes were burning and my mind finally drifted into the land of my subconscious around five thirty in the morning.

. . . ... . . .

"You look so pretty today, Isabella," Victor cooed, reaching out and tugging on my short hair playfully. At least I think he meant for it to be playful, it always kind of hurt.

_Wait, my hair isn't short, this isn't real…_

_No no no, wake up._

"T-thank you," I stuttered. It wasn't me though, I had no control over my body. I was trapped there, looking through my own eyes at his dark red hair, and those ice colored eyes. They were almost completely black though, his pupils extremely dilated.

"And I love this dress, did you wear it for me?"

"N-no, Emmett's taking me to Angela's birthday party, he'll be home any minute," I said, backing against the wall as he kept coming forward, towering over me.

_Wake up._

"I think you're lying, you invited me over here to see you in that dress."

"I didn't invite you Victor. I'm going to tell Emmett about this if you don't leave." I tried to put confidence into my words, but they came out like a squeak. "He'll be here any minute!"

His eyes looked panicked, and he reached out and took my face tightly in his hands. "He can't take you away from me. I won't let him, don't worry."

"Let go of me Victor! Please!" I tried to pull his hands off my face, but he was too strong.

_Wake up, please please please wake up. It's only a dream, this isn't real, my hair isn't short…._

He leaned in quickly, pushing his lips against mine. I started crying, pushing against his face, and when I slapped him he grabbed both of my wrists in one of his hands, the other wrapping around my neck as he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I couldn't breathe, sharp pain was radiating through my lungs from the lack of oxygen…

WAKE UP!

. . . ... . . .

I shot upright in my bed, gasping painfully for air. I clutched at the pain in my chest, rolling onto my side with a loud sob and trembling. I needed to move though, I couldn't lie here. I didn't care if it was only a dream, that it happened eight years ago and that I should have fucking moved on by now. I could still feel his hands on me, his tongue in my mouth. I just couldn't see why people seemed to enjoy kissing so much when it felt so painful and suffocating.

I tried to get out of my bed, but I was too shaky and collapsed as soon as I stood. My boy was by my side in a second though, wiggling under my arm. I let him help me kneel up, leaning against him for support until I could lean back against the bed. I swear, my boy was more human than canine. He was so in tuned to my feelings, and when he did things like this, it made my love for him swell my heart to a painful size. It helped that he had a good forty pounds on me. He was a rescue, so we weren't sure of his lineage, but he was the size of a King Shepard, just with shorter fur, and was solid black. I sat there holding him until it didn't feel like I was drowning anymore, and gave him a big kiss on the side of his head.

"Mommy loves you so much," I whispered, then scratched his ears before carefully standing up. I looked at the clock, and sighed. It was five to seven, and there was no way I was going back to sleep.

I made myself a smoothie, I wasn't hungry but I needed the sugar, and then packed my gym bag. I didn't go to the park Saturdays, I didn't enjoy it when it was so busy, and I needed to _run._ I took Zeus up to do his business, gave him some breakfast, then flipped on the radio for him before heading out.

Traffic was horrible, and by the time I got to the gym I was just all sorts of pissed off. I stormed into the private bathroom in Emmett's office, got changed into my pants and a baggy t-shirt, put my hair into a ponytail and made my way down to the cardio section on the first floor.

Someone was on _my_ treadmill, and I had to stop myself from walking over and knocking him out. He was the only person there, why did he have to take _that_ machine?

Asshole.

I stayed as far away from him as possible. I flipped through my android and opened up a Tool album, blaring it through my skull candy headphones before warming up. Within ten minutes I was practically sprinting, and I ran until I thought I was going to throw up. It didn't calm me though, so after I cleaned up my machine I taped up my hands and took out my frustration on the punching bags. When I finally stopped, panting as I leaned against the heavy sandbag, I heard the familiar sound of Emmett clearing his throat and I looked up at him.

"Hey Em," I said, forcing a smile as I straightened up.

"Bad night?" He asked gently.

I couldn't tell him the truth, even if he already knew I couldn't say it out loud, so I didn't say anything. He reached out and squeezed my shoulder.

It was okay when my brother touched me, it didn't bother me at all. I was more comfortable with him than any other person in the world. He had been so much more than a brother to me, he was my body guard growing up, my sparring and dance partner, my care taker when dad died, and he was my best friend in the whole world. The only family I had left.

"How's Garrett doing?" I asked politely to break the silence.

"He's been better. Maggie and him broke up, so I helped him sabotage his liver last night," he said with a big grin. Emmett had one of those smiles that when he showed it, you couldn't help but smiling back. It was those damn dimples.

"Do I need to beat her up for you guys?" I asked teasingly.

"We don't want her _dead_," he said with a smile. I rolled my eyes. "But I'll let him know that you offered. Want to go grab some lunch?"

I looked down at my watch, realizing it was just past noon. Had I really been here that long?

"Hell yes I do, just let me grab a shower first."

"Cool, I'll wait in your office," he said.

"Emmett, it's not my office," I reminded him for the millionth time as we walked up together. The company was his, under his (fake)name. Yeah, I owned a lot of shares; I had bought him the gym because I wanted him to do something he would enjoy, if he refused to leave me. I helped him set everything up, insurance, payrolls, business plans, budgets, his computer systems, but this was _his_. I just taught a few classes every once in a while.

"Whatever," he said easily. I sighed in annoyance, shifting my towel and water bottle under one arm so I could start peeling off my tape. When we got up to the top floor he dropped into his desk chair as I slipped into the washroom. I scrubbed all of the sweat off of myself, the smell of cranberries and oranges filling my senses and releasing a bit of tension. I put on my favourite strawberry-scented moisturizing lotion, threw on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, and stepped back out into Emmett's office with a growling stomach.

We went out to our favourite steak house, Emmett gagging as I ordered some deep fried pickles. We talked about the new weight cages that he had ordered, and I asked him if we had enough women to start another self-defence class again. _That_ was my favourite job. It was something I wished I could do full time, but it never felt safe having one full-time job. It made me feel too exposed, predictable. Traceable. It's why I had all of these part-time gigs, no one spent enough time around me to get to know me, and the ones that did, it was just more convenient for them to me afraid of me. People didn't ask questions when they thought you'd punch them in the face. If I could, that's what I'd do full time. Teach women how to protect themselves, that they _can_ protect themselves. Or even just doing security. I like being in control, I _needed_ to be in control of my surroundings. It was the only way I felt comfortable.

Because I would never write another story again. That dream was long over.

Maybe once I found him, I would have the option. Or I would be dead. It all depends on who's faster, I guess.

I dropped Emmett back off at the gym afterwards. He was distracted, so I left him alone with his thoughts before going home. After checking my news feed and e-mail accounts, I took Zeus up to the roof, a book in one hand. It was gorgeous, warm and sunny out, so I sprawled out in the grass on my stomach and read while Zeus ran around and eventually came and curled up beside me. Exhausted, mentally and physically, and with a full stomach, I found my eyelids starting to droop. I should have fought them.

. . . ... . . .

My head was so fuzzy, the lack of oxygen and pain slowly pulling me under, but I still used every ounce of energy that I had to try and thrash out of his grip. I could hear the phone ringing as he chocked me with his hand and tongue.

Then he dropped me, and I crumbled to the floor, gasping for painful breaths over my sobs.

"_Hey Bells, sorry I'm late. I was supposed to pick up Victor on my way home but he never showed. I'll be home in ten, see you soon!" _

Beep.

Yes, thank you Emmett, thank god.

"No, no no no," Victor was muttering, pacing back and forth in front of me with a furious expression. "Fucking Emmett… Don't worry baby, I'll get us out of here, we're going to be okay."

"N-no!" I said kicking and punching at him ineffectively as he reached out to pull me off the floor. He picked me up, and I thrashed like I was having a seizure, grabbing onto the chairs, counter, anything I could find with my feet, until finally my elbow connected with his jaw, and he dropped me on the hard tiles again. "HELP! HELP!" I knew our neighbours were too far away to hear me, but I had to do something.

"Fuck! Isabella, stay still! We're not safe here."

"I don't want to go anywhere with you!" I cried.

_Wake up wake up wake up…_

My sobs caught in my throat when I saw the rage in his eyes. He reached forward, grabbing my hair, and smashed my head against the tiles, hard, making me scream. I clutched at my head in pain.

"I'm sorry baby, that was supposed to knock you out," he cooed gently, doing it again. I was still crying though, and he pulled me up to my feet, and punched me hard in the side of the face. "God, Emmett was right, you do have a hard head," he said teasingly. I slumped in his arms, still awake but in just too much pain to move, think, or fight back anymore. I couldn't see straight, and my mouth tasted like blood. "There's my good girl. Are you going to behave now?" I couldn't even move my lips, but he didn't wait for an answer before throwing me over his shoulder. I watched the living room disappear as we walked away, noticing Victor had forgotten his letterman jacket, and the drops of blood that fell out of my mouth, staining the white carpet as he took me out the back door.

. . . ... . . .

Zeus licking my face worriedly woke me up, my eyes shooting open as I gasped for breath. I held onto him tightly while I tried to calm myself down, trying to push away the lingering memory of the pain in my head. It wasn't real, it shouldn't hurt. I was being ridiculous. I had lived these memories; they should get better over time, right? Why did they feel more painful each time then?

"Thanks baby boy," I said, kissing him on top of his head. We went back downstairs, and I still had a couple hours before work. After checking my newsfeed, I sat back down with my book on the couch to kill the time. It wasn't easy to concentrate on the words today; I was too preoccupied worrying that they would come to the club again tonight. I felt like shit, I was tired, and above all I was angry. I hated that after all these years he was still able to hurt me, and he wasn't even here. I hated how weak he made me feel. I hated that I was afraid to sleep. I just felt so fucking angry, and there was no way I could behave myself if I had to go through the same thing as last night.

Thank god they didn't. Emmett came in at eleven as usual for Saturday night. He was a brave man, sitting there with Rose and her friends at their big white table. It ended up being a really slow night, dreadfully boring. It was a rare thing that we didn't have to throw out at least a couple people, but New York City seemed tired and on its best behaviour. Rose left early with Emmett, and after the bartenders counted their tills in my office and my guys turned in their gear, I locked up and drove home.

After bringing Zeus up to the roof for a while, I went and took a nice long shower and put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt. Tomorrow was my day off, well, today actually. It was almost five in the morning, and I knew that I needed to sleep. I made myself a strong drink, rolled a tiny joint, and went back up to the roof. I fell asleep on my big hammock wrapped up in a blanket, Zeus sleeping on the grass underneath me as we watched the sun rise.

I didn't have a single dream.

. . . . . . . . . .

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	2. Chapter 2

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. . . . . . . . . .

I had always thought that I would love working in a library. I loved to read, so you'd think it would be nice being surrounded by books, right?

Nope.

It was horribly boring work, I spent most of my time cataloging, maintaining old documents, _procuring_ old documents, and retrieving information from books for people. The research part I didn't mind, it at least presented a bit of a challenge and something that could occupy my mind, but I didn't really enjoy my job. I was going to keep it for now though, because although the quiet drove me crazy, it was also a little comforting, and it gave me something to do. They were incredibly flexible with my hours too, because I was a damn good worker and I knew they'd do anything to keep me on staff at some level.

And then there was Jasper.

He appeared in front of my desk with a giant pizza box in one hand and a bright smile, and I quickly shut the thick book I had been buried in, clearing off enough space on my desk for him to set the box on.

"How was your weekend?" He asked, opening my top drawer and taking out some napkins.

"Not bad. Bit of excitement at work Friday night, but Saturday was slow. How about yours?"

"Boring. My mom set me up on a blind date with one of her friends' daughter that was in town."

"And you found that boring? How bad was she?"

"Oh my god B, she was just so… angry? Maybe pessimistic would be a better word. Not even cute angry like you are," he teased with a grin. I rolled my eyes, pulling a big slice of pizza out of the box. Mmm, bacon and mushroom. "But it was kind of depressing just being near her, like she was able to physically suck the joy out of you just watching how she watched the world. She had no drive for life."

I got what Jasper was saying. It's been over two years since we started working here, and he was the only real friend I had. Yes, I was friends with Rose, but she was like a sister to me now. It was different with Jasper, we just got along. I loved him, only as a friend but it was a very strong friendship. He always spoke his mind, but was a gentle and caring person by nature. He was comfortable with himself, he knew who he was, liked it, and I knew would never change himself. It was a quality that I greatly admired, and envied.

I didn't know who I was. I was just living, moving. I didn't know what I wanted, because I knew it wasn't safe to want anything when I was living on the edge of a cliff. I would think about that later.

After I found him, and killed him.

Victor had to die, and it was going to be by my hands. I knew without a doubt that he was still looking for me, though I hadn't gotten any sort of message from him in years. It had also been that long since he had killed anyone that I was aware of.

Why was I the only one who survived being thrown out of the car? It was another reason that I needed to stay below the radar, the families of all of those girls, they blamed their daughter's deaths on me. Victor used them for his pleasure, then used them as stationary before throwing them out the window like garbage.

But back to Jasper, we had gotten to know each other pretty well. He knew some of my story, it had to be done so he would know why I had to live my life the way I did. He was just such an easy person to love, and he had this aura about him that just made you feel happier. He needed and deserved someone who could do that to him in return. Someone who was capable of being as passionate about love as he was. I had been looking out for someone for him, not easy when you don't have many friends. I had yet to find somebody good enough for my Jasper though. I wouldn't settle for anything less than perfect for him.

"Well, at least you found this out on the first date. She could have pretended to be someone else all night, and then flipped once she got comfortable?" I wasn't good at this whole comforting thing. I was better at beating people up, but Jasper wasn't the type of person to want something like that.

He grinned with a mouth full of food. "You're right, that would have been worse." He took another bite and chewed it before talking. "Did you hear that Maggie and Garrett broke up?"

I nodded. Of course Jasper would have known, he was probably there helping Emmett destroy Garrett's liver. When Jasper had moved here, he was completely alone, leaving his parents in Texas. We had started working here together on the same day, and after he got lost and ended up in my office, I gave him directions.

He had come to my rescue, very chivalrously, that very same day right before I beat the shit out of two men who had tried to corner me in a hallway.

Then he bought me lunch, and the next day I'd paid him back, and we'd continued having lunch together every day that we've worked together since.

We had never had or given mixed signals to each other as to what this was. He never asked me on a _date_ or tried to kiss me, we were both happy and comfortable with what we had, and just like me he had felt we were more like family than anything else. We did start hanging out after work though eventually, and when I had introduced him to my brother they clicked quickly. They were best friends now, and they hung out even more than he did with Garrett now, who had been the first friend my brother had made when we moved here.

I was happy with my little family, the four of us and Zeus. What Rose had said the other day was still bothering me; I wasn't lonely. This was all I needed.

. . . . . . . . . .

My week went by as it always did, seemingly in slow motion, but time passed none the less. I didn't like the fact that I hadn't gotten a hit on Victor for months now. There had been nothing since the woman was found outside of Chicago with the usual message on her arm.

"_Don't worry baby, I'll find you. We'll be together again soon. I love you."_

He could be anywhere in the world right now, and that put me on edge. We had quickly discovered that I wasn't safe in the hands of the police, or the FBI, and I took my safety into my own hands. I wasn't going to hide in a safe house that could be easily found, not again. That wasn't living, and it never worked. So I had help, a few contacts in different police departments, but it was usually Paul that I talked to. The police didn't have my address or any contact information about me, but I could talk to them. And then there was Alec. He's my one contact left with the FBI, the one that convinced them to let me get my way, and set Emmett and I up with with the contact that made the false identities we still use. They helped with things like having a job, or when a problem arose. I could go through doing things and be exempt from having to sign the dotted line. It was an annoying hassle, but better than the alternative, trying to be invisible in the middle of nowhere. I was always wearing my giant sunglasses, not working a single full-time job so I wasn't seen in the same place too often.

But I had managed to build a pretty amazing life here around that. When we had left Washington, I had had a pretty substantial balance in my bank account. I had done a few years of college, but between what was left of my screenplay, my father's estate and insurance, the lawsuit against the hospital, and other amounts left over from scholarships and martial arts tournament prizes, I had been able to buy my building and Emmett's gym on foreclosure, (thanks to Paul's tips.) His gym took off like crazy, and it only took him a year to pay me back for my investment. I was fair with my tenant's rent in my building, but there was still more than enough profit from them to keep the maintenance on the building, and support my own apartment, with extra income left over. My shares from Emmett's gym weren't needed, either was the extra income that I got for teaching my class and the others that I covered. So I really didn't need that job at the Library.

And then I'd met Rose.

That night still haunts my memories. Walking around the corner outside of my building while coming back from a walk with Zeus, and hearing the muffled cries in the alley. We ran around silently, finding her duct-taped and naked, bloodied and bruised, while the three men were taking their turns with her. Her eyes had gone wide when she saw us running up behind them silently, tears pouring down her terrified face, but they didn't notice. I had quickly grabbed a metal pipe that was sitting by the dumpster, cracking it over the skull of the guy who I walked up behind. He fell to the ground, revealing my presence to the others. The second once had better reflexes, catching the bar as I swung at him, but I kicked him in between the legs as hard as I could before jumping on the last man who was still trying to pull up his pants. He landed heavily on the pavement, and I swung furiously at his face, until the guy I had kneed grabbed me. I broke his arm with a sickening crunch, kicking him hard in the ribs before knocking him out.

I quickly ran back over to the beautiful, terrified woman, pulling my knife out of my boot and cutting her restraints, and pulled the tape off her mouth as gently as I could. I pulled off my long, baggy shirt, and helped her slide it over her head.

I tried to get her to let me take her to the hospital, but she didn't want to. She didn't want to go home either. I didn't know what else to do, so when she passed out when I lifted her up, I took her up to my apartment. She had been so cold, and I remember even Zeus being worried about her, and snuggling up to her in front of the fire while we waited for her to wake up. Once she did, she took a shower, and then let me clean up her cuts after I lent her some clothes.

We'd been tight like room temperature macaroni ever since. She had stayed in my apartment with me for two weeks, before I put her up in the second half of my apartment for a few months, and I hadn't minded in the slightest. I wanted to take care of her, because I knew exactly how horrible it was to go through something like that. I had even told her my story. She told me all about her life, her family, her aspirations and dreams.

She had moved into the city looking for work. She wanted to open a night club and needed to save up the money or find an investor. Her family was loaded apparently, but had no interest in helping her.

I had read her business plan though, and thought it was great. So I ended up making another amazing investment. I bought the club for her, helped her set up everything, hire trustworthy people, and she offered me the job as head of security. The club was exactly the thing New York had needed, and it took her even less time to pay me back than Emmett had. Along with my security paycheck though, I also had my shares in the club.

Most of my money went into savings, because I knew that someday I would have to leave again, and it can be expensive building a new life from nothing. I donated to a lot of charities too though, mostly to abuse and rape victim support groups.

I had introduced her to my brother, so she could see my work and talk to another independent business owner, and they had clicked immediately. I didn't believe in things like love at first sight, but that's what it seemed like when I watched them. It was hard for Rose at first, because even though she was crazy about him, it had only been a month since the accident at the time. My brother was a sweet guy though, even as a bit of a jock in high school he had always been respectful towards women, and Rose hadn't been able to resist his charm for long.

I knew he would be asking her to marry him, and I was pretty sure it would happen soon. I was still waiting for him to tell me, because I knew he would talk to me before he did it, but I wasn't going to bring it up myself.

. . . . . . . . . .

I felt great by the time I got to work on Saturday. Friday had been a peaceful night, and I had gotten a full five hours of sleep afterwards. Emmett had even been able to walk Zeus for me, giving me a chance to pick up the new grips for my bike that had come in early before the store closed.

I should have known that I wouldn't have two good nights in a row, but I was pissed that she had ruined it. I wasn't sure what exactly had happened to make her throw her glass at the other woman, I'm pretty sure it had something to do with some guy, but I didn't really care. The other girl didn't want to press charges, so I just dragged her out, telling her that she was banned before her face started leaking everywhere. It was disgusting, but I knew if I didn't hold her up she would just fall over and keep crying.

I almost smiled when I saw Emmett walk through the door, until I saw who was behind him.

Fuck.

Get over yourself, he was probably just going through something last time, that didn't mean he'd be staring again all night. I was still pissed though, this wasn't helping my mood.

"Hey, is everything-"

"I'll be right back," I hissed in annoyance, cutting him off. I could hear his booming laughter over the music as I pulled her down the stairs. I handed her off to Seth on the second floor, pulled Felix off the couch where he was sitting with a pretty red head, told him to fucking work, then did a pass around the main floor before walking back upstairs.

I felt a bit relieved when he didn't notice me go back to my spot. He looked even better than he had the last time I saw him. His face was bright, the tired circles that had been under his eyes last time gone. He seemed more attentive, alert, and completely annoyed by Rose's friend that kept hitting on him. The suit he was wearing was amazing, a dark Charcoal with a black silk shirt underneath.

I quickly realized the major difference in him though; he wasn't drunk right now.

I tried to ignore their table and the fact that he and my brother were apparently buddies now. What the hell? It was distracting, but I made my eyes take in the rest of the room.

I noticed when he noticed me though. My heart fluttered oddly when he stood up a second later with a determined look on his face.

I didn't have time to figure out how I felt about that, because his sister bounded over to me and just threw her arms around me and hugged me.

My heart stopped, and I felt the blood drain out of my face, not able to breathe as I looked at her in horror. What the fuck was she doing? Why was she hugging me? If she was a guy, I would have just punched her in the face immediately, but I didn't know what to do with this adorable, tiny woman that looked so fucking happy to see me. It was uncomfortable, but… I was more worried about hurting her feelings, so I just patted her awkwardly on the back while forcing myself not to throw her.

Then I heard the most beautiful, warm, heart-melting laugh I had ever heard. I looked up to see Mr. Movie Star watching us with an amused grin. I quickly composed my face. If I hadn't noticed him watching us for those few seconds, I wasn't doing my job right, and quickly looked around to make sure I hadn't missed anything else.

"The restraining order was issued on Monday. It really worked, I don't know how to thank you," she said in a grateful voice, smiling up at me. Man, I thought_ I_ was short. I wonder if she had a step ladder in her kitchen too, and if it was bigger than mine.

"You don't need to pay me back for anything," I told her, a little shocked by her words, and relieved when she finally let go of me.

"Please, there has to be something I can-"

"Seriously, don't worry about it," I told her. Could she not see that I had just been doing my job? Taking down guys like James was the best reward I could get.

"But you must have done something for it to happen that fast, I'm really-"

"I mean it," I said, my frustration leaking into my voice slightly. I didn't want anything from her, and I did _not_ enjoy repeating myself. "That was just my job, one of the perks actually. Just forget about it." Her brother was listening to our conversation, seeming completely unembarrassed about doing so, and the rudeness of it pissed me off even more. How was I supposed to work like this? Rose needed to get her relatives under control and out of my personal space. I still kept forcing my eyes to scan the room every other second, starting to feel cloister phobic.

"I can't forget about it. You've changed my life, I've been running from that man since high school, and now he can't even look at me anymore, you-" I didn't hear another word as I shot across the room, seeing the two men pushing at each other angrily. It looked like they had been shouting, faces red and strained. Their friends were attempting to pull them apart, but I jumped in between them, giving them a hand while pushing them away from each other.

One of them recognized me, some model that was a regular here, and seeing his face pale as he quickly stepped back, holding his hands up as a show of surrender almost made me smile.

The other man didn't know me, and my presence seemed to anger him even more. He was obviously drunk, his moves sloppy, and I was able to easily dodge as he swung for my face. I grabbed his arm with both of my hands quickly, pulling him towards me as I turned and used his own momentum to roll him over my shoulder, taking the brunt of his weight in my bad hip. He landed heavily on his back, but I was still pissed that he had taken a swing at me, so I dropped down on him and punched him hard in the face for good measure, knocking him out.

The music stopped, and I finally noticed the cheering of the crowd abound me. My anger flared. What the fuck was wrong with him?

"Mitch, are you purposely trying to cause a fucking scene? Put the music back on!" I hissed. I saw him wink at me as I called for someone to come up and help me move him, and I gave Mitch one more glare before I started dragging the heavy man towards the door to my office. Seth was there in seconds, and helped me pick him up so we could quickly carry him out. He woke up on my couch a few seconds after we laid him down. I asked him if we should press charges against each other, Seth clicking the lock audibly on my office door after he closed it, and the man paled before saying it wasn't necessary. Then apologized for taking a swing at me. I let him go with a pleased smile, telling him not to come back.

Hollywood wasn't at the table when I came back out, but it was only a few seconds before I noticed him walk out of the washroom. I bit back my smile; his hair was even crazier than usual, sticking up in all directions, and it looked like he had tried to fix it with some water.

It was absolutely adorable.

He noticed me quickly also, and immediately changed his course, walking straight towards me. I pretended not to see him as he strutted over to me, hands in his pockets with that sexy, crooked smile. He stopped next to me.

"What's up pretty boy?" I asked sarcastically. He seemed surprised to hear me speak first. It took him a minute to respond.

"That was another pretty bad-ass move there," he said in a deep, smooth voice. I kept my face neutral though, not looking at him as I continued to watch my room. I wondered how many women he had been able to win over with that voice.

I wasn't one of those girls. Not in the slightest.

"Hmm." He could take that however he wanted to.

"Will you get in trouble for knocking him out?"

I looked over at him curiously, and was only distracted for a moment as his eyes seemed to widen slightly. Why would he ask something like that? Why was he even talking to me?

Had someone asked him to ask me questions? What could he possibly learn from that? I was immediately suspicious, and… uncomfortable. So I did what I did best when asked questions I didn't trust; deflected them.

"Are you playing a cop in your next movie or something?" I wanted him to get whatever he was trying to do over with so I could go back to work. He seemed confused by my question.

"What?"

"What's with the interrogation Chief Wiggum? I'm trying to work here."

"Oh, uhm-" He stuttered. He seemed a little taken aback, losing his train of thought. "My name's Edward."

I fought the urge to laugh, rolling my eyes instead. Half the world knew who he was. It was kind of cute seeing him falter like that.

_Shut up!_

"I am aware what your name is, Mr. Hollywood." I just wasn't comfortable saying it, or even thinking it. Names were too personal, and I didn't know him anymore. He wasn't the same man as eight years ago.

"Are you going to tell me your name?"

"No." More like a big Hell No, but I was trying not to be a _total_ bitch.

"Why not?"

"Because you don't need to know it." And I don't trust you in the slightest. My response seemed to frustrate him, and that made me smile. Maybe if I pissed him off enough, he would leave me alone.

_Or maybe if you gave him what he wanted, he would move on._ I almost flinched from the sickening feeling that idea gave me; his hands touching me, holding me down, covering my mouth until my lungs screamed in pain from the lack of oxygen, ripping through me… No, no man was ever going to do that to me again. I wasn't going to make an exception for this gorgeous asshole.

He leaned in closer to me, and I almost knocked him out right there. Instead I turned and looked at him suspiciously. I wasn't going to let him see how much his presence bothered me.

"Let me take you out to dinner," he purred in that thick, sweet voice.

Holy Shit. Edward Cullen just asked me out to dinner. That's one to put in the books.

"No thanks," I answered quickly, looking back to the room.

"What?"

"I said, _no thanks_," I repeated irritably.

He straightened up, and I saw as he looked at me with a confused expression. I ignored him, and waited for him to walk away.

He didn't, and it looked like he tried to speak a couple times, but couldn't find any words. His sister dashed back over to me. What was with these siblings and their determination to not let me work?

"There you are!" She sang. I forced myself not to run away in fear. _Please don't hug me again._ "I was looking all over for you! Are you okay? Is your hand okay? How did you flip that guy like that? He was huge!"

Her excited words were adorable, and I fought to keep my lips from curving into a smile. I liked her energy.

"It's all in the hips." Unfortunately today, it was the wrong hip, and I'd probably be paying for it in a couple hours.

"What?"

"The flip thing. You take the weight in the hip, so it doesn't really use any energy." It was always the favourite move to be learned in my classes, and I loved teaching it.

"What do you mean?" She asked me curiously. I took a second to scan the room again so I could concentrate on answering her. Everything seemed pretty calm. I asked her if I could touch her, assuring her I wouldn't actually hurt her, and she was all too eager to agree. I couldn't help but smile, the excited one on her face was contagious. I loved doing this.

"Okay, well it doesn't look like it when you see it that fast, but it's all in the hips so it takes very little energy. You saw how I took his arm?" She nodded, and held out her arm excitedly without being asked, making me smile again. "So after gripping the arm and turning slightly, you use the angle to almost roll him onto your back like this," I turned in slow motion, pulling her arm over my shoulder while I turned, lifting her off the ground easily by supporting her weight with a hand on her waist so I didn't put too much strain on her arm. "Once he's there, you're using his own momentum to roll him over." I shifted her on my back to demonstrate the motion, but not bringing her far. "When you do it fast, it's much more fluid," I explained, setting her back down gently and scanning the room. I caught Rose and Emmett grinning at me hopefully, and looked away quickly. I straightened out my shirt habitually, and fought the urge to fidget before I went back to scanning the room.

"That is sooo cool, you should teach self-defence classes or something."

I almost laughed. "I do, actually." Shit, why had I said that? Damnit.

"Seriously! Can I take one?"

Her question caught me by surprise, and I asked her what just before her words clicked in my mind.

"One of your classes, silly."

That was a hard thing to turn down, because I'd never denied someone the opportunity to learn how to defend themselves. It's why I barely charged anything for my classes, and used most of the money to buy the women cans of pepper spray and snacks for the sessions.

I could do this without her knowing about Emmett, it would actually provide her with an excuse as to how we knew each other. Though it bothered me that someone would be able to associate me with two of my jobs… but Rose and Emmett trusted her, this would make them happy. "Oh, uhm, yeah, sure," I stuttered, still not believing the words that were coming out of my mouth. I looked over to the side, finding it easier to concentrate while not looking at her excited smile. "I'm not sure when the next ones are coming up. I do them at Emmett's gym, we only start them if there's enough to form a class. Just ask him."

"Cool! So you know Emmett? He's dating my cousin Rosalie, but of course you already know that, since you work for her. How did you meet them? Does she force you to wear those clothes for work? I'll have to have a talk with her about that, we could find you something much cuter. Oh, I'm working on…" I stopped my mouth from popping open as I listened to her, but was happy that she wasn't actually giving me time to answer any of her questions. I was once again in awe of her energy, and the happiness that she just seemed to radiate. It was unsettling, but I enjoyed it at the same time. "So I think we should hang out. I can tell that we are going to be _excellent_ friends. What are you doing on Monday? The club's closed during the day right? We could go out for lunch!"

She did stop speaking then, actually waiting for an answer this time, and I froze. It wasn't enough that I told her she could join my next class, but she wanted to hang out too? She wanted to be my friend? This was so weird, fast, an unexpected. It made me uncomfortable because I felt like I had no control over this conversation. Maybe Rose was right though, about trying to make more friends. And Alice was awesome, she seemed really nice and I bet she'd be a lot of fun to hang out with.

"Oh, I work somewhere else during the week. I don't get off until three on Monday." Oh god, what was I doing… Why was I telling her these things? And in front of her brother of all people, who was still standing with us and watching our conversation curiously. I turned suspicious, was she doing this for him? It would be the simplest solution to why she was suddenly so interested.

Or what if someone else asked her to do this? Asked both of them?

"That's fine, dinner then! I know this amazing restaurant we could-"

Nope, I wouldn't go that far. I hated restaurants, I couldn't eat in them. Not while feeling surrounded like that. It was different if I was working. Sometimes I escorted Rose and her friends out if they were going out partying, just to make sure that everyone was safe. She had a few celebrity friends also, and I was good at spotting and handling photographers. "I don't really do restaurants."

"That's okay, just come over to my place and we'll have take-out."

Fuck, she was persistent. Maybe it was a family trait, her brother seemed very dedicated to staring at me. My nerves were on edge, and he was pushing me slowly off the cliff that was my professional demeanor. I pinched the bridge of my nose while closing my eyes, forcing myself to remain calm. If she was doing this for someone else, I had to know who, and to find that out I would need to get closer to her. Damn it.

"Yeah, okay. Sure."

Alice squealed happily, and I froze when she hugged me again. I almost threw her off this time. I really wished that she'd stop doing that. Thankfully it didn't last as long as the last one. "Excellent! Here's my card, it's got my number and address on it, let's plan for six-thirty? Monday night?"

I nodded dejectedly, sliding her card into my pocket. I already knew the address and phone number, but I wasn't going to tell her that.

"I'm so excited! What's your name, by the way?"

I looked down at her again. No, I couldn't tell her that, certainly not yet, and not in front of him. I didn't even feel safe giving them my fake name. "You can call me B," I told her, looking away again.

"Is that short for something?" He said suddenly. I had kind of assumed he had lost his voice. If I wasn't going to tell her my name, and I'd already refused to give it to him, did he really think I'd tell him now? Hah.

"No, my parents were aiming to have twenty-six kids, and I was the second. They thought it would be easier." I forced my face to remain serious, neutral, and it was hard not laughing at his surprised and unsure face.

"Seriously?"

"No." I looked back to Alice, while I returned to ignoring him. "I'll call you during my lunch break on Monday, but I really do need to get back to work." _Please leave me alone._

"Oh yes, of course, sorry! That sounds great though! I'll talk to you then!" She said happily, turning to walk back to their table. Her brother was still looking at me.

"Hey Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Take your brother with you. I think he's having some sort of mental episode, you should keep an eye on him." Alice burst into giggles as his mouth popped open at the clear dismissal. I met his eyes for the briefest second, winking at him. I was not some chick at a bar he could just corner and easily persuade into doing his will.

I didn't have time to see his reaction as I caught sight of two girls topple over together. I shot across the room, pulling them apart just as they had started rolling and pulling at each other's hair. They were both tanked, and not very difficult to handle. I led them both downstairs with a hand holding on to each of their upper arms, but by the time I had gotten to the main floor they were crying and hugging and telling each other how sorry they were and that they loved each other. God. I gave them both a bottle of water and stuck them into a cab together, fairly certain that they weren't going to kill each other anymore. I checked in with each of my guys as I went up, then settled back into my corner.

He looked at me every once in a while, but wasn't openly staring which I saw as an improvement. He didn't try to come over and bother me again either, though Emmett did come over to say hi, and had noticed his new friend's apparent interest.

"How's your night going so far?"

"I just want it to be over," I complained quietly. "Those siblings are exhausting, and drunk girls always know just how to piss me off."

"Has he been bothering you?" He asked angrily. "I can take care of him for you, just say the word."

I bit my lip, smiling. Yes, Emmett would be glad to beat the shit out of him for even looking at me. I had no doubt about that. I loved my brother, but I could take care of myself just fine.

"He's annoying, rude, and kind of weird, but I can handle him."

"I know you could take him, no problem, but it's one of the perks of being an older brother. I never get to beat anyone up anymore," he said with a joking pout, making me laugh. I pushed him away, telling him to let me get back to work, and he tried to grab me. I dodged easily though, getting in a light jab into his side, which gave him the chance to grab my arm and mess up my hair. Oh, hell no. My hair was never messy here, it was part of the persona I had built. I shot him a look letting him know that he'd gone too far, and sent him a swift kick in the shin. He held up a hand in surrender just as Seth called me.

"Hey boss, there's a girl throwing up really bad in the washroom. Uhmm… what do I do?"

"Fuck. I got a puker. Talk to you later," I said, and he gave me a sympathetic nod. I took the stairwell down one flight, coming out by the bathrooms, letting Seth know I'd be there in a second. I needed more female employees. Actually, I needed more people period, and soon. After losing those three asshole that had tried to steal from me, I was extremely low on bodies right now. She had already stopped and flushed the toilet by the time I got there, and opened the door for me when I knocked.

The first thing I noticed was that her eyes were almost completely dilated. Fuck.

"Did you take it on purpose, or did someone slip it to you?"

She looked at me in shock, hiccoughing as she tried to steady her shaky breathing. "I-I took it. They said it'd be f-fun."

"Where are your friends?"

"I d-don't know," she cried. "TheyleftwithoutmeandIdidn'tknowwhattodoandIgotscaredandthenIgotsickandthefloorismovingallfuckingweirdandit'sreallyscary!" She gushed in one breath before gasping and wrapped her arms around my legs tightly, hugging them as she cried. I easily stepped out of her grasp.

"Are you going to be sick again?"

"I don't think so," she whispered.

"Can you walk?" She nodded. "Then come with me."

She followed me up to my office obediently, and I gave her a cloth to wash her face in the sink in the corner. After she finished, she sat down on the couch when I told her to, and I poured her a tall glass of water which she took with trembling hands.

"What did you take, how much, and how long ago?" I asked sternly.

"Just one pill… ecstasy, about… Two hours ago maybe?"

"When was the last time you ate?"

"Lunch, around two."

"What you did was very foolish. Not only is that a very dangerous drug that could easily kill you, but it's made even more dangerous when you consume alcohol."

"What do you mean?" She asked with her wide, dilated and scared eyes. Good, she should be scared. Fear forces people to learn.

"Ecstasy dehydrates your body, making you thirsty. So it will make you want to drink, but alcohol also dehydrates you, it's what causes hangovers. It's a chain reaction, the drugs make you drink, and the drinking makes you even thirstier and you don't notice your body shutting down because of their effects. It can easily kill you." I kept my voice impassive and informative. She started crying more.

"What do I do? Am I going to die?" She asked in a desperate, scared voice.

"You should probably keep drinking that water," I said easily, sitting down in my desk chair and switching on my monitors. I smiled as she started chugging down the water, and I told her to help herself to the cooler and she kept drinking like a person who had been trapped in the desert for days. I tossed her one of my bananas also, and she ate it without question. She was stupid, but at least she could listen. I let her sit in my office with me for an hour, watching my floor on my monitor as I went through resumes and application forms.

Before I let her leave I checked her eyes, her motor skills and her blood pressure. She was still a little high, but she knew where she was and how to get home, so I put her into a cab with a bottle of water. By that time, the Cullen siblings had left, and I went back to my spot. Rose called me over once it quieted down, and I slid into the booth with her and Emmett.

"What's up?"

"You're hanging out with Alice on Monday?"

"Ughh… Yes, I am. She wants me to go over to her place for dinner," I said in annoyance.

"You don't sound very excited about this," Emmett speculated.

"I'm not, but I want to know what she's up to, what her agenda is. I don't trust her, either of them."

"She's not up to anything B, she just wants to be your friend," Rose said gently. That sympathetic look on her face pissed me off. Instead of saying something I'd regret, I said nothing at all. I was able to leave quickly, and after the stragglers were given the boot, everyone counted their tills and turned in their things, I locked up and headed home.

As soon as I was on my bike, feeling it vibrations underneath me and its loud rumble filled my ears, I felt myself relax. It was Sunday. I loved Sundays. Not as much as Thursdays, but it was still a great day. I got home, picked up Zeus, then drove us over to central park in my truck to get us there sooner. I was usually too tired after work to go out this early with him, but today I just felt restless. We ran two laps around the lake, watching as the sun began to rise. Zeus seemed upset that we didn't play catch as usual, but the park was getting too crowded so we made our way back to the truck.

We were home again by seven, and I still couldn't bring myself to lie down in my bed. I had a shower and got changed into a pair of shorts and a long t-shirt, and made myself a big smoothie.

Yup, not tired. It's probably a good thing, if I don't sleep this morning it will be easier to sleep tonight, and I'm going to need to sleep tonight if I'm going to survive tomorrow. After I finished my breakfast, I put my hair up and started pulling cleaning supplies out of my big storage closet. I kept all sorts of other junk in there; my pool table, a large table and chairs that I had for holiday dinners. I don't know why I had gotten such a big table, it could comfortably seat six, but there were never more than the three of us in my apartment. Now that we had Jasper, whose asshole parents still hadn't forgiven him for leaving, there were four of us, but we always ate at Emmett's place. I still wasn't ready to let Jasper know where I lived. I trusted him with keeping my secret, but I didn't trust myself. I also had boxes of decorations, boxes of old memorabilia, an emergency generator, a few flats of water bottles and my tools.

I pulled out my things, and went through the lengthy process of dusting my book shelves. After that was done I cleaned the top shelves of my cupboards, washed my giant windows, then swept and mopped my floors. Zeus loved trying to help me mop, and by help, I meant he kept attacking my mop and trying to pull it away from me. I still didn't get what his obsession with mops was about, but he was leaving paw prints all over the clean, wet floor, and I had to order him back to his spot about half a dozen times. When I finished, I grabbed a beer and brought him up to the roof while I gave the floors some time to dry. When I finished my drink, I went back inside, changed the sheets on my bed, and opened up my wall panel to use the laundry machines that I had in the other half of the apartment. I never used the ones on the ground floor; I preferred not to let my tenants see me too often. I felt more comfortable being the invisible person whose name was nothing more than 'Landlord.'

I had another shower, and got dressed in my normal clothes. Jeans and a t-shirt. It's how I would dress all the time if I wasn't trying to make myself seem like four different people. At the club, I was quiet, strict, and always wore my black slacks and blue shirt that made it easier to camouflage into the background, my hair in a tight bun that couldn't be easily grabbed. At the gym, I always wore my hair in a ponytail, with my black yoga pants and baggy t-shirts. That's where it was easiest to let out the anger that was constantly clouding my mind, but it helped with my persona. My people there saw me as the constantly angry instructor and partial owner. Then at the library, I dressed the part with my white blouses, black pencil skirts and heels, my hair in either a braid or a messy bun, and my fake glasses. It was my best disguise, because this would be the easiest place to find me. It had to be better. It was also the only place where I was constantly forcing myself to reign in my temper and annoyance.

But if I didn't have to do all that, I would always be in my comfy clothes. I know I probably seemed like I had a boring wardrobe, but it was a crucial part of hiding. I liked dresses, I even had a couple, but I never had the opportunity to wear them. My goal was to blend in with the world, and I couldn't do that in a dress, or showing off my tattoos. They'd make me stand out, and where my brother and sister had a pretty high social status, I needed the photographers to look over me.

I tied my hair into a long braid while I admired my spotless apartment. I loved my place, one of the perks of owning the building was that I could do almost anything I wanted with it. I had completely destroyed and rebuilt the two, two bedroom apartments. The side I used looked more like a big bachelor's apartment. I tore down most of the walls, leaving it big an open. My large kitchen, bar, and bathroom were on the side my front door was on, and on the other side was my living room area in front of my expansive shelving unit, fireplace and entertainment system. The center of the room was big and open, and on the opposite wall I had my giant four-poster bed, my rack of clothes on one side, and my tallboy on the other side next to the bathroom door. The other half was smaller, now a one bedroom with a decent living room, large bathroom and open kitchen, with a large storage closet that I used for my washer and dryer, along with other miscellaneous things I didn't have room for. It hasn't been used since Rose moved in with Emmett.

This was mine, I created it and owned it, and it was the only place I felt truly safe. Only my brother and sister could find me here. The only way in was through the locked service elevator and one stairwell, both which I kept monitored. Even if he found me, there was no way he'd be able to get into here. My door was fucking bulletproof. He'd need a grappling hook to get up to my window and break through if he wanted me in here.

Not that I would put that past him, but it was still pretty unlikely.

I invited Rose and Emmett over for dinner, something to keep myself busy. Rose was able to come, which made me smile, so I quickly started cooking her favourite. Coconut-pineapple chicken with citrus and pepper rice.

She came over just as I turned on the rice cooker, setting down a giant bottle of white wine; my favourite. Rose didn't care that I was technically under-aged. She knew I'd never drink at the club, not that she hadn't tried to persuade me to a couple times, but I'd never risk her liquor license for something so stupid.

She made up for it by trying to make me drink whenever we were at one of our apartments. Some people may think she drank a lot, but she really didn't. She wouldn't touch the stuff if Emmett or I weren't with her, and I knew she drank a lock of mocktails to keep up a certain image. I grinned, tossing her the cork screw.

"So, are you excited about tomorrow?" She asked curiously.

"I'm not sure excited is the right word," I mused.

"You know, it is okay to talk about your feelings B. I get that you were raised by men and all, but talking about how you feel isn't a weakness."

I knew she was right, every shrink Charlie had ever tried to send me to had told me the same thing. It didn't matter though, because I could never open up to someone like that, looking at me like I was some attention-seeking child that was their next paycheck.

Rose was different though, she knew me. It bothered me when she called me by my nickname when we were alone, because she was one of the few people in my life that actually knew what my real name was, but I knew it was a safer habit to be in.

I missed hearing my actual name sometimes.

"I don't trust her, and I don't trust her brother even more. I'm worried that someone is asking her to ask questions about me, and I'm even more worried that he is asking for her to ask me those things, like she's spying for him or something. I really don't trust him, he annoys me and makes me uncomfortable and I hate the way he's always fucking looking at me. But I figured the only way to find out what her motives are is to get closer to her."

Rose didn't laugh at me, or tell me that I was being paranoid. She set down her glass, and moved closer to me to take my hands. "Bella, Alice isn't trying to spy on you. She was so incredibly grateful for what you did with James, and she only knows half of the story. She admires your strength, and enjoys your attitude. She thinks you're a genuinely interesting person, and she just wants to be your friend."

"She… told you that?"

"Yes," she said with a gentle smile. "Is it that hard to believe that someone just wants to be your friend?" I looked down at my lap, not wanting to answer that aloud. People didn't like me, they were scared of me, and it was safer that way. Rose understood my silence though, and hugged me quickly. "Oh Bella, you really don't have any idea how spectacular of a person you are, do you?" I laughed, hugging her back before squirming out of her grasp to check on the chicken. "Now, Edward on the other hand-" I froze, and looked at curiously. "He just wants to get in your pants, the man is a little slutty and on the rebound. It's obvious that he has some sort of thing for you."

"Man, is he ever wasting his time then."

"You know, he asked me if you were a lesbian," she said wryly.

I choked on absolutely nothing. "Seriously?"

"Seriously. The man couldn't comprehend how you weren't interested, so his first explanation was that you were gay."

I couldn't stop laughing, and clutched at the stitch in my side as I tried to breathe. "Oh man, thanks Rose. You just made my day."

"That's what I'm here for," she said lightly. "But seriously, Edward might come off as a bit of a pretentious douche, but he's actually a pretty sweet guy."

"What are you trying to say Rose?" I asked her suspiciously. I swear, if she tried to set me up with her cousin I'd kick her out.

She sensed my anger, and quickly held up her hands. "I'm not trying to persuade you into doing anything, especially not him. You can do better. I'm just saying that he may be annoying, but he's harmless. He's also persistent, so please try not to hospitalize him? He _is _family, after all."

I grinned before turning and taking the chicken out of the oven. Cooked to perfection. "I'll try Rose, but I can't make any promises," I said teasingly. She knew I had a temper, it's one of the many reasons we got along so well.

After dinner, she helped me wash the dishes, and we played some tennis on my Wii-U while finishing off the bottle of wine. I walked her downstairs with Zeus when Emmett came by to pick her up, and after their cab pulled away we walked in the opposite direction.

This was one of those things that I specifically told the women in my classes to avoid. You should never put yourself into a vulnerable situation. I was completely comfortable walking around my neighborhood by myself though. No one got close to me with Zeus by my side, and I could protect myself just fine without a weapon.

And I refused to live in fear anymore.

I didn't really enjoy the scenery though, walking through the concrete jungle. It made me miss home. I loved trees. I loved my roof, but you couldn't walk far on it. I had even been debating getting a place closer to central park, but… I liked the security here, the control I had over my surroundings.

_You could have both._

Hmm.

No, too many celebrities live there, which means too many photographers. I could end up in the background of someone's picture. And anyone could just walk onto my property, climb a fence. I had twenty-five floors of monitored safety between me and the front door here.

After, then. I'll just wait until after, like everything else.

Once again, my anger seemed to turn my vision almost red. I hated him so god damn much. I'd never killed someone before, but I knew when it came to him, I would have no regrets.

God damn it, I really needed to sleep tonight, and I couldn't when all I wanted to do was punch something. So I dipped into my stash and sat up on my roof for a bit, then collapsed in my bed and was out within seconds.


	3. Chapter 3

**No children! Don't do it! Protect your innocence and run! **

**SM owns twilight, and I don't think she would approve of what I've done to her beloved characters. But I don't mean to infringe.**

**Reviews are delicious.**

. . . ... . . . .

It started off as a pretty nice dream. Emmett, dad and I were out on his fishing boat on a beautiful, sunny day. I always loved our trips like this, our little family just being together. They laughed and joked and ate the sandwiches that I made them.

It didn't start to feel off until we pulled up to a strange dock. I tried to follow after them as they walked into the near-black forest, but they were moving too quickly. When I lost sight of them, I tried to run, but the blinding pain in my head made me crumble to the ground. When I looked down at my hands they were covered in blood.

Then someone picked me up, throwing me over his shoulder. I knew this shoulder, this height, this pain.

_No, no no no, he shouldn't be here. My hair is long tonight._

"Please, just let me go," I choked out. "I won't tell anyone, I swear. Just put me down!"

_Please, wake up wake up wake up…_

Suddenly we were out of the trees, and I heard his van door open as he dropped me inside of it. The fear of that van gave me another surge of adrenaline, and I tried to leap out before he closed the door. He pushed me back easily, flipping me over. I heard the sound of it before I felt him tape my forearms together behind my back.

"No, Victor, please! I'll do whatever you want, just let me go," I sobbed, my voice cracking. He gave me the sweetest smile, before ripping another piece and putting it over my mouth.

"Don't worry Isabella, everything is going to be perfect now," he promised. He leaned forward, and kissed the duct tape covering my mouth while his hand slid down my body.

. . . ... . . .

I woke up screaming, scrambling out of my blankets and dropping onto the floor, my hands automatically reaching for the non-existent tape over my mouth.

Zeus was worming his way under my arm in the same moment, licking my face and whimpering, and trying to calm him down and reassure him that I was okay gave me the welcome distraction from the fact that I was not. But I petted him, hugged him and kissed his head until I stopped shaking.

Four o'clock, that was almost five hours, and I was going to take that as a win. I took Zeus up to the roof while I drank my smoothie, then went back down, made a big lunch for Jasper and I, changed into my workout clothes, packed my library clothes, then headed over to the gym.

It was just after five when I got there, the doors still locked, so I went in through the back door, using my key, and put my things in the office before hitting the cardio room. I did a half hour on the stair machine, another on the bike, and then one last half hour on the treadmill, most of which was a cool down. Finally feeling somewhat relaxed, or exhausted, I'm not exactly sure, I took a nice long shower, and put my wet hair up into a French braid. I got changed into my work clothes, slipped on my heels and my big pair of sunglasses, and walked out with my gym bag slung over my shoulder.

I walked around the corner to the front entrance, and quickly took a step back. Mr. Movie Star was just walking in the building.

Why the hell was I hiding? This was _my_ place.

Besides, he won't recognize me.

I straightened up, and then walked around the corner, right past him. He didn't even look up at me, he was watching his feet, looking kind of stressed out, and walked right past me.

See, no problem. Stop being so paranoid.

I ignored the little twinge of disappointment from the fact that he _didn't_ recognize me.

Crazy much?

I made the drive across town to my work, and switched my sunglasses for my fake glasses before walking into the building. I sat down at my desk and started up my computer, then wrote down a list of tasks as I went through my e-mails, responding to the ones that I could.

The rest of my morning was spent doing research and retrieving information for various people. I didn't even notice the time go by, and was brought back to the present by Jasper clearing his throat.

"Oh, hey man, just give me a sec," I said, sliding yet another dead end book back into its place, then climbed down the ladder. "How's your morning going?"

"Boring, but I beat my high score on spider solitaire," he said dejectedly.

"Why so slow? School will be starting up again soon, aren't you guys usually swamped about now?" I walked over to my little fridge, pulling out the Tupperware containers and bringing them over to the desk. Jasper grabbed the plates and napkins before sitting down.

"Usually, but that new software is being installed on the computers, and they're having a lot of trouble with it. I spent the first few hours cleaning, but until I can get online there isn't much else I can do."

"You can use my computer if you want?"

"I think we're on a different sever. What's for lunch?"

"I've got some chicken-waldorf salad, croissants and cucumber salad," I said, stomach rumbling. I was not shy to admit that I was a pretty awesome cook.

"Awesome," he said excitedly, holding out his plate for me to load it up. I spooned two big piles onto his plate, then tossed him the bag of croissants before making my own plate. "So how was your weekend?"

"It was okay. Friday was a really peaceful night, and I only had to break up three fights on Saturday."

"Only three? Boooring," he said teasingly, rolling his eyes.

"I know right?" I joked. "And I helped out this chick last weekend, and now she wants to be my friend. Rose knows her though, says she's nice. I think we're having dinner tonight."

His eyes went wide, his spoon hovering in front of his mouth. "You're going out to dinner with someone?"

"Fuck off Jasper. It's not that weird... Right?"

He gave me a gentle smile. "No B, it isn't weird. Just surprising. But a good surprise," he added quickly. It still didn't help my annoyance. "If Rose says she's okay, then I'm sure she is. Did you find anything in your background check on her?" He asked knowingly, steering the conversation into a more comfortable direction.

One of the many reasons he was such a good friend. He always knew how to make me comfortable, but never lied to make it happen.

"No, very clean record. Top of her class in school, does a lot of charity work, comes from a good family that she's close with."

"I get that this is probably very… uncomfortable for you B, but give her a chance. I can see that at least a part of you wants to, otherwise you wouldn't even be considering it, and there's nothing wrong with that. Besides, the best way to find out if she isn't trustworthy is to get close to her."

He always knew the right thing to say to me. I already knew it all of course, but it made it easier hearing it from him also. "Thanks Jasper."

"No problem girlfriend," he said flamboyantly, making me laugh.

"So how was your weekend?"

"Quite boring. My parents seem personally offended that I didn't want to have babies with their friend's daughter," he said with an exasperated sigh.

"Seriously?" He nodded. "Sorry Jasper, but that's kind of fucked up."

"I know right? The rest was pretty good though, I finished that book you lent me, absolutely loved it. And I went hiking with Emmett and Garrett yesterday."

"Cool, I've been meaning to go hiking. Zeus loves it, but I haven't had the time."

"We can take him next time we go. We'll let you know."

"Thanks, that would be awesome," I told him happily.

He left to get back to his card games, and after I cleaned up my desk, I took Alice's card out of my wallet, and stared at it for a long minute before dialing the number.

"Hello?" her cheerful voice called through the phone.

"Hi Alice. It's… B."

"Oh hey! How's your day going?"

"Good, yours?"

"Magnificent. Can you still come over for dinner tonight?"

"Uh, yeah sure. If you still want to."

"Of course I do silly! Do you like Chinese?"

"I love Chinese," I answered automatically.

"Great! So six thirty. You know where the place is?"

"Yup, can I bring anything?"

"Nope, just you!"

"Okay… well I'll see you later then."

"Sounds good. Bye B!"

"Bye." I hung up quickly, and put my cellphone in my purse. That wasn't too bad, was it? God, I'm fairly certain that I sounded pretty lame. Oh well.

That nauseous feeling that set into my stomach made it hard to concentrate on my work. The room was completely deserted, so I decided to take a break and pulled my laptop out of my bag. It had been about a year and a half since I'd checked up on Alice Cullen, so I hacked into her police records again. She had gotten another speeding ticket eight months ago, but besides that, nothing. I looked up her Facebook page, but didn't find anything out of the ordinary. After that, I broke into her e-mail account, but didn't find anything but work on it. As a precaution, I put a tracker program into her e-mail that would send me a notification if she used any key words like my nickname or the club. I still felt like I was missing something though.

So I did the same for her brother. His record was clean too, and I was stunned seeing the records of his transcripts. He'd gotten even better marks in school than I had, and had taken music as his major in college. Impressive. I was surprised to find that he didn't have a Facebook page. There was a group for him, but it was obviously fan-made. I was able to get into his e-mail through Alice's though, and put the same tracker in his.

Now I felt better. With a smile, I put away my laptop and went back to work, searching through my thousands of books for little bits of random requested information. I stopped by to say bye to Jasper as I left, and headed out to my truck.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was left in a bit of a dilemma. I didn't know what to wear. She knew me from the club, but it felt weird going over in my work clothes. I didn't want her to see any of my other disguises though, just in case this went the wrong way. Even my jeans and t-shirts were one of my secrets, and I wasn't ready to give her that yet either.

So, I kept my library clothes on, but changed my blouse into something less corporate, lost the glasses and wore my hair down. I also put on a pair of flats to make myself seem shorter.

Okay, this wasn't too bad. I took Zeus up to the roof for a while, and after feeding him I packed my purse, and stopped off at my favourite bakery to pick up a small cake on my way over.

It just felt wrong to go over to someone's home for the first time empty handed.

Her building was very nice, but I could tell they were lacking in security. From her records I knew that she'd only lived here for about two months though. Someone even held the door open for me as I went to ring the buzzer. Did they not realize how dangerous that was? Well, if they didn't then they did now. I made sure to explain that to them. I might not really be her friend, but that didn't mean I didn't care about her well-being. I'll send her building's manager a letter, get him to put up some warning signs like I did in my building. I couldn't even see any video cameras, so I decided that I'd send him a case of free security equipment, some cameras and monitors too. I still had plenty left over from the deal Sam had hooked me up with. Alice had a big name, this wasn't anywhere close to safe.

She buzzed me up as soon as I rang, and I took the elevator up to the fifteenth floor. When I stepped out of the elevator and looked down the hall, I could see Alice hanging outside her door and waving excitedly at me.

I could handle this, it was no big deal. Alice couldn't hurt me. Physically at least. Unless she has some sort of swat team in there, which even I thought was highly unlikely. I forced a smile onto my face, and made my way over to her.

"You're right on time! I had the feeling that you'd be a very punctual person," she said.

"I brought you a cake," I said awkwardly, handing her the box. Her face lit up.

"Delice Royal! I love this place. Their Hazelnut Noisettes are amazing!"

I grinned. "I'm glad you think so, because that's what I brought."

"Awesome! That was very thoughtful of you. Thank you," she said, giving me a gentle smile.

Was it that obvious that I was uncomfortable? She was being weird. I stood in her foyer awkwardly as she watched me with a slightly disapproving look. "Your apartment is nice," I offered quickly to fill the awkward silence.

"Thanks," she said, snapping out of her daze. "Sorry! Come on in, I'll give you the tour." She set down the box in the kitchen, a very nice kitchen though it seemed small compared to what I could see of the rest of the apartment, then showed me to her cozy living room with her red chairs and bright yellow pillows, the bathroom, her bedroom (which had a closet bigger than the bedroom itself,) and then her huge office. She told me that she did most of her work in her office at her shop, but liked having materials close by for random bursts of inspiration at home, and for doing some personal projects.

My head snapped around, going on full alert when I heard her doorbell ring. I watched cautiously as she opened up the door, not even looking through the peephole, but I forced myself to relax when I saw it was just the delivery guy.

I usually picked up my food, I rarely ordered delivery, and when I did I picked it up on the main floor myself. No one ever rang my doorbell; it was a little weird hearing one.

I quickly went to help her with the food, two large brown paper bags, and she led me over to her giant coffee table in her living room. I unpacked the bags while she went and grabbed some plates, and came back with two bottles of pop.

I never drank pop, caffeine drove me crazy, but I didn't want to be rude so I took it anyways. I couldn't believe how much food she had gotten, there was enough to feed Emmett.

"Wow, this is a lot of food," she said, sitting down on the floor next to me. "Sorry, I wasn't sure what you liked, so I tried to get a bit of everything."

That was so… sweet, I couldn't stop myself from smiling. "Well, lucky for you, I like everything. Though I'm not too big on seafood." Seventeen years living with my father and fishing practically every weekend had given me enough for a lifetime.

"Me neither," she said happily, handing me my cutlery. We both loaded up our plates. I could use chopsticks just fine, but I could move more food to my mouth at once with a fork.

"So, how was your day?" She asked me easily.

"Pretty good, how about-"

"Nope, not good enough. I want details," she said comfortably. Though the question itself made me uneasy, I really liked her straight-forward attitude. I just chose my words carefully, giving her as much as I could without actually giving her anything substantial.

"Monday is always busy, because I only work there a couple days a week and the e-mails pile up over the long weekend. I went to the gym first though, and went home and walked my dog after work before coming here."

"Oh! You have a dog? What type?"

I grinned. "He's mostly German Shepard, but he's got a mix of something else because he's huge. He's just a big baby though, a protective one, but still my baby. He's almost four now."

"He sounds lovely, do you have any pictures?"

"No, sorry." _I don't have any pictures on my phone._ _Please don't ask why. _"I'll take one to show you next time though," I added quickly, not really thinking about what my words would implicate.

"Cool! Or maybe you could introduce me sometime?" She asked hopefully. I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded while taking a big gulp of my Coke. "I love dogs, but we never had any pets growing up because my dad was allergic."

I nodded in understanding, but offered nothing about Charlie so as to not trigger any questions about him, or other family. God, this was already exhausting… but oddly worth it. And not just because of the awesome food. "What was your day like?"

"Also busy, but I love my job. I was locked away in my office all day, listening to loud music while I sketched ideas for my new line," she said happily.

"I can tell. That you love your job that is. I've seen your work, and you have some really amazing things. You can see your passion in everything you create."

"You like my stuff?" She asked excitedly. I smiled while nodding at her, dipping an egg roll into some plum sauce. I didn't want to go so far as to tell her that I had a few of her pieces, because I didn't want her to ask about my style, which I was pretty much expecting to happen at any moment now anyways. "Thank you! Do you enjoy your job? Or, job_s_ I should say."

"I love my job at the club. It's exciting sometimes. I thought I would like my other job, it was something I had wanted to do since I was a kid but… it's not as fulfilling as I thought it would be. It's not horrible, but it can be boring."

"And you don't seem like the type that deals well with boredom," she teased. I laughed.

"You're right, I'm not." I was surprised that she hadn't actually asked where I worked, and felt relieved because that meant I didn't have to lie to her.

"So, how long do you think it will be before you're able to start a new class?"

"Hopefully within the next two months, I only need another five people or so I think. The hard part is finding enough people to do it at the same time. I like to do them on Thursdays mornings, and the classes are about two hours long."

"How long have you been doing them?"

"Almost two years now."

"Do you like doing it?"

"I _love_ doing it," I told her with a smile. "I love teaching, and I love _what_ I teach. Every woman has the ability to defend themselves; they just need a bit of instruction as to how sometimes. It makes me feel good, being the one to show them how to use that weapon." I drank some more of my pop, and could already feel the caffeine getting to me. "What sort of stuff do you do outside of work?"

"Well, I work a lot of hours, and I travel a lot for the job so it takes up a lot of my time. I like painting too though, drawing, and just hanging out with family and friends. I _love_ shopping."

"After seeing that closet, that doesn't surprise me," I teased.

"How did you get into the whole security and self-defence stuff? Did you do martial arts or anything?"

"Oh yeah, for about six years now. I studied Karate, Jiu-Jitsu, took kick boxing and Tai-Kwan-Do. I used to do competitions and stuff."

"That's really cool. You're really talented at what you do, I've seen it. It's kind of awesome, it makes the club really entertaining." I laughed, she was reminding me of Rose. "Do you have any other hobbies?"

"Uhm… I read a lot, and I play the violin. My work keeps me pretty busy too though."

"Oh! You play the violin? How long?"

"For about as long as I can remember, I think I was five when my dad bought me my first one and put me in lessons."

"Wow, are you any good?"

I grinned at her, "I like to think I am," I said confidently. I wasn't shy about my musical talent, but I didn't advertise it because too many people knew that _Bella Swan_ played the violin. I thought I was pretty damn good though, I could put in a CD and play along with my music comfortably, and I hadn't used sheet music in years. The paper was distracting; I used my feelings to play.

That violin knew me better than anything else in the world.

"My brother plays the piano, and he's pretty awesome on the guitar too. He's been playing since about the same age," she said, a slightly curious tone to her voice.

I knew that tone, the forced casualness. I was hoping that I could get through this night without bringing up the knot in my neck that was caused by the beautiful annoyance known as Edward Cullen.

"Cool," I said, giving her the chance to take the lead on whatever she was getting at. She opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. I sighed.

"He's not the most subtle person, your brother. You'd think as an actor he would have a better poker face," I said lightly. She looked surprised. "Come on, I'm not an idiot, and he wasn't being close to inconspicuous while glaring at me all night. Both nights," I said, a hint of annoyance leaking into my voice.

"He's not usually like that, he hasn't really been himself lately. I think he really likes you though."

I laughed, and bit it down quickly to be polite. "Alice, he doesn't know me. At all. And I have no interest in any sort of…. Whatever." I looked at her, and felt a painful twinge in my stomach. "You didn't invite me over here to try and set me up with him, did you?" It wasn't tactful to just ask straight out like that, but I _needed_ to know before I let this go any further. If she didn't really want to hang out with me, and was just doing this for him… well, that made more sense.

"Oh, god, no. I was just afraid that you might not want to hang out with me because of him. He's been acting all weird, and I wasn't sure if you'd noticed, but either way I wanted to apologize for him. I asked you here because _I_ wanted to hang out with you."

I relaxed slightly. I was good at reading people, and I was pretty sure she was telling the truth. "Oh, I noticed. I see everything that happens in that club." I grinned at her, and she smiled back. I saw her shoulders relax slightly, realizing I hadn't noticed how tense she had gotten. Had I scared her again?

"I can talk to him if you want? Get him to back off," she said worriedly. I chuckled, grabbing another chicken dumpling.

"Don't worry about it. It's irritating, but he's harmless. I've dealt with much worse." I regretted the words as soon as they came out and I saw a panicked look in her eyes. She was just so… fragile. I doubt many people saw that in her, hidden behind her constant smiles and exuberant energy, but I could see it in her eyes. Her empathy and concern.

I knew all too well what it was like, carrying around the weight of other peoples' problems. It was so much more painful to see someone else suffer than yourself.

I grinned at her, trying to lighten the mood. "Don't look so shocked, you've seen all too well the type of scum that's able to trickle past my security. You shouldn't worry, because you've also seen what _I _can do to _them_."

It worked, and she smiled back. I gave myself a mental pat on the back.

"Actually, I was hoping we could talk about that?"

"What? My punching expertise? Sorry Alice, but I don't think you have the fists to become a boxer."

She laughed again, a much more comfortable, genuine laugh. It was a beautiful sound, intensified by the way it lit up her face, and automatically made me smile. I wanted so badly to be comfortable around her. I liked this woman. I liked the positive, happy energy that she just seemed to radiate. If I was going to let another person into my life, break out of my perfect, calculated and cautious routine to try and live a little again, I wanted it to be her. I just really fucking liked her, but I am the way I am and live my life like I do for a reason.

It just wasn't safe, not only me but for her. How many more people would I allow myself to endanger? How selfish was I?

At least she didn't have brown hair.

I told my mind that it was overreacting, but it didn't believe me. Yes, this was really the first time I'd hung out with her, but I already knew her. So much more than she knew I did, which she could take as extremely fucking creepy. I wasn't stalking her like James, but I'd been watching her for over a year because she was close to Rose, who talked about her all the time. I knew about her family, her schooling, her criminal records and so much personal information. And until less than two weeks ago, she didn't even know I existed. She didn't know me at all, which I was used to, but now she wanted to. It was just so strange, that I couldn't bring myself to push her away like so many other people. Zeus loved me because I was his mother, Emmett because he was my brother. Rose was a special exception, the first friend who I had told my story to. I did it to comfort her when I had brought her up to my apartment that night. For days I sat with her, just holding her and talking to her and just trying to comfort her. To earn her trust. I did, and in turn she was the first person outside of my family I had given my trust to since Victor. The bond we had couldn't be described in words. She became my sister that night, my family.

And then there was Jasper. Our friendship had been a leap of faith on my part, and that's when it clicked. What happened with him is the exact same thing that was happening now with Alice. He had given me this vibe, there was something about him, and I had just really wanted him to be my friend. Just like with Alice. That's what made me decide; the leap out of my comfort zone I had taken with Jasper had been one of the best decisions I'd ever made. I was going to trust my instincts again, just cautiously.

I needed to be cautious, especially knowing who her brother was.

She laughed again at my joke, then looked at me a little hesitantly. I gave her an encouraging smile, and she seemed to relax a little. "How did you get the restraining order to go through so quickly?"

I sighed, and watched her face carefully for a minute. If I was going to do this, I had to do it right. It would be better to go through some of these things now, rather than drag them out later when I might have more to lose. "It's a bit of a long story, and I don't think you're going to like my answer," I told her seriously.

"I guarantee you that I don't care what you did or how you did it, because no matter what I'm thankful that you did. It's just nagging at me, I'm a curious person by nature, secrets drive me insane." Her voice was easy, light. She actually thinks that, I could see the sincerity in her eyes.

We'll just have to wait and see, I guess.

"I can't tell you all of my secrets," I warned her first, because it was true. I wasn't going to tell her my story, but I could tell her about James.

"I know, and that's okay. I just really want to know this one," she said with a hopeful smile.

"I've been working at the club since it opened, I don't think you've ever really noticed me before-" I held up my hand when she went to apologize, and gave her a smile,"-which is nothing to apologize about. That's my own doing, the way I like it and the way I work. But I saw you. Rose cares about you, so I kept an eye out for you when you'd come in. Were you aware that James had been stalking you?"

"I wouldn't really call it stalking… He calls and stuff, yeah, but we know a lot of the same people. We'd just run into each other sometimes."

"Stalking is defined as 'of or pertaining to the act of pursuing or harassing.' Those phone calls, text messages, e-mails that he sent to you after you expressed to him that you wanted him to stop would be considered harassment. And whenever you would come into the club, he watched you constantly. His eyes followed you wherever you went. I noticed it the first night you came in on the same night as him." I let out a deep breath, and gave her a meaningful look. "I just want you to know, you can tell me to leave at any time, and I'll understand. Just say the word, alright?" She gave me a curious look, and I made myself keep talking. The buzz of caffeine made it incredibly easy to speed through the words. "I didn't trust him, and I was worried about you. There was nothing I could do about it that would make a positive difference at the time, and I didn't want to make your situation worse. I know James' type, if I confronted him I would have just agitated your situation, and I didn't have grounds to do anything legal about it. But I knew that I could. I tried to find another way to get him thrown in jail, but everything I got on him I obtained illegally, hacking into his computer and phone records, so I couldn't use it as evidence. I knew I could get him on drug charges, but he would get out again, and come back for you. I knew he would. But if I was able to catch him hurting you, making you do something that you didn't want to or physically harassing you in my club, I'd be able to. And I'm so sorry about that Alice, but I knew he would eventually. The only way I could help you was to let him, and I am so sorry that I did." She was watching me with wide eyes, but was quiet. My nerves didn't want to let me shut up. "I had everything set up that I needed before he even did it. When he grabbed you, I took him back to my office, and threatened to give the information I had on him to the police if he didn't sign the confession I'd written for him. He agreed pretty quickly, so I guess he didn't know that they wouldn't actually hold up in court. He was high the night that he grabbed you, the drugs on him were enough to hold him for the weekend until I had a contact of mine put you on the top of the list. As soon as the judge came in on Monday he signed the court order."

That was it, I couldn't tell her any more than that. If she didn't want to see me after I told her that I had actually allowed James to grab her, it would just upset her more if I told her about doing background checks on her. I waited impatiently with a patient mask for her to say something.

"So… You were protecting me from James this entire time? Watching me?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you ever say anything to me?"

"I didn't think it would accomplish anything positive," I told her truthfully.

"It would have. I could have thanked you sooner, we could have been friends earlier, and I could have known that all this time I've had this amazing guardian angel watching over me." Her eyes were watery, and something twisted painfully in my stomach. "Thank you B, thank you so much. I don't know how to repay you for everything you've done for me," she said with a sniffle, smiling at me thankfully.

I grinned back at her. "How about you just pass over the fried rice, and we'll call it even?"

Her eyes went wide, and she laughed loudly, sliding the Styrofoam container over and then lunging at me with a hug. I froze, but she didn't let go, and after a minute I awkwardly patted her back. She was almost three years older than me, but she was so tiny.

"I get the feeling that this whole friendship thing is kind of difficult for you, I don't know why, but I just want you to know that's okay. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to, but I want you to know that you _can_."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I didn't say anything. Alice easily changed the subject, and we stuffed ourselves with Chinese food and dessert while watching a movie. She didn't ask me any more really personal details, but we talked about easy things like movies and books and places around town until I needed to head home. I hated leaving Zeus alone for too long.

"We should hang out again, soon," she said, smiling at me again as I slid on my flats.

"I'd like that," I told her honestly. I wasn't sure what her idea of soon was though.

"Do you have plans on Wednesday?"

"Just work, same hours as today." I didn't want to leave my baby alone for two evenings in a week though, and I was nowhere near ready to invite her over. Jasper didn't even know where I lived.

"Come over for dinner again! You can even bring your dog if you want. I'd really like to meet him," she said hopefully. I couldn't help but smile back.

"That sounds perfect, we can bring dinner over with us if you want? I make a pretty awesome lasagna," I offered. Her eyes sparkled while she smiled and happily agreed. I was slightly relieved that she didn't try hugging me again as I left. I had a smile on my face most of the drive, and through my nightly walk with Zeus after I got home. I fell asleep tired with a full stomach, and didn't have a single dream.

. . . . . . . . . . .

It turns out that Alice's brother was developing a routine at _my _brother's gym. This morning had been the third day in a row he had come in as I was heading to work. Of all the gyms in New York, he just _had_ to pick this one. It was the best gym in the city though, so even though I wanted to I couldn't really blame him.

At least he never recognized me though, never even saw me.

I rushed through my work this morning, moving at double time to make sure I was done on time. Not that anyone was actually watching my hours, but I wanted to get as much done as possible. At eleven-thirty I ordered a pizza, half Canadian for me and half Hawaiian for Jasper, and he walked in two minutes after I paid the delivery man.

"Ooo, do I smell pineapple?" He asked happily, dropping down in his usual spot across my desk and handing me a cold bottle of water.

"Extra pineapple for you, strange sir," I said with a joking wrinkle of my nose. I love pineapple, but it had no business mixing itself up in melty cheese. "How's your morning going so far?"

"Crazy, there are so many group bookings, we're already packed for the entire month of September," he sighed, before pulling a hot slice out of the box between us. "How about yours?"

"Gone by in a flash," I said after inhaling half a slice.

"What're you up to this afternoon?"

"Making lasagna."

"Oh yeah, dinner with Rose's cousin again?"

I nodded, and couldn't help thinking again about how they seemed to have a similar effect on me. They both had that warm, happy aura to them that just seemed to draw you in. I smiled to myself; I didn't know her well enough yet to set her up with Jasper, but maybe I would tonight. I was very good at getting information. I had an incredibly good feeling about the idea, but I had to make sure she was good enough for my friend. Jasper deserved someone who could make him happy, someone who _was_ happy. He was so in tuned to other people's emotions, and I couldn't help but think that the happy, positive energy that Alice just seemed to radiate would be good for him. She could also help bring him out of his shell a little, I thought.

And Alice was a pretty amazing person herself. She deserved someone who was as sensitive, loyal and loving as Jasper.

"What are you smiling about?" He asked curiously, a slight grin on his face.

"Do you have plans Friday?"

"Not really, why?" His eyes went wide. "Are you taking a night off work?" He asked in disbelief.

I scoffed. "No. But I might need help with something at the club, I'm not sure yet."

"Well, I'll either be at home or at the gym after work, just give me a call," he said easily, no questions asked, and we finished off our pizza. It only took me an hour to fire off the information I'd gathered, clearing my inbox, before ducking out early and heading to the grocery store. My disposable phone started ringing, and I dug in my bag through my phone for the club, my personal one, the one for the library, and my phone for the building before finding it.

"Hey Alice," I said, after checking my caller ID.

"Hey B! You're still coming over tonight, right?"

"Of course, I forgot to ask what time you wanted me over at though," I said.

"I'll be home at four, so any time after then is okay," she said easily. I hated it when people didn't give me specific times, and bit back the automatic rise of irritation that was used to voicing its opinion. I held my breath, and waited until the lack of oxygen made my mind dizzy and relaxed me. "B? Are you still there?"

"Yeah. We'll come over at five, if that's okay."

"Sounds perfect, but I wanted to call and see if you'd be comfortable if Rose joined us?"

I smiled. "I don't mind at all, I can pick her up on my way over," I said easily.

"Excellent. She said you'd say that, but I still wanted to check first. Should I call her or-"

"It's okay, I'll send her a text telling her when I'll pick her up."

"Cool! I'll see you guys in a couple hours then." Her voice sounded so excited, I couldn't help smiling at the sound. I put my phone away after shooting a quick message to Rose, telling her I'd be at her door at twenty to five, then went back to my shopping. I grabbed some fresh sausage and spinach, green peppers, mushrooms, ricotta and mozzarella, along with a loaf of fresh bread, then made my way back home quickly.

I loved cooking. It was something I learned how to do at an early age. Charlie had been a horrible cook, and Emmett was worse. My dad was the best father any kid could have asked for, but it was a skill that he just couldn't grasp. When I learned to read I discovered that they just didn't have the patience to follow the instructions properly. I did though, and took to it with ease. It was something that made me feel more… needed at first, like I was contributing to the house, but that reason was quickly overpowered by the joy I felt, seeing Charlie and Emmett's smiling faces when they ate my food.

It one of the things I missed most about living with my brother, having someone to cook for.

I made my pasta, and browned my sausage and cut vegetables while the dough set in the fridge. I left the sausage to simmer in my crockpot for an hour and a half while I made my cheese mixture, then rolled out my noodles in my pasta roller and layered the large casserole dish with sauce, spinach, noodles and cheese. I wrapped it up, then went and sat with Zeus on the roof for a while before we left.

Zeus was more than excited to be in the truck, and I stepped out of my door when Rose came out, letting her slide into the middle of the bench. She knew better than to attempt to move him out of his favourite spot.

"Bella, I can't tell you how happy I am to see you stepping out of your comfort zone like this," she said with a happy smile. I rolled my eyes.

"Please don't go all mom on me Rose, it's really not a big deal."

She didn't call me out on the lie.

Zeus went on alert as soon as we stepped out into the new-for-him area after I parked my truck. He stayed close to my side, his ears flickering around as he listened carefully and watched. I gave the Casserole dish to Rose, and took the big box out of the bed of my truck.

"What's that?"

"Free samples, I need to have a talk with her landlord."

"B…"

"I'll behave, you can come with if you don't trust me," I said, and felt her close to my heels as I went into the building. Someone held the door open for us, and even though that was one of the things I was addressing I was pretty grateful, just because our hands were so full, so I thanked her. I set the box down on the unattended main desk, and rang the bell.

Two minutes later, an older woman, maybe late fifties, with short salt and pepper hair wearing jeans and a grey blouse came rushing out. "Hey there, what can I do for you?" Her eyes shifted between me, Zeus, and Rose warily.

"I would like to speak to the owner of the building," I told her politely.

"T-that would be me, what can I do for you?" She looked nervous, why was she nervous? I immediately became suspicious, which pushed at the simmering, near-constant irritation that boiled inside me.

"I came to your building two days ago to visit a friend, and someone who didn't know me held open the door to let me in." She looked at me questioningly, and I sighed in annoyance when she didn't seem to grasp the importance of that. "Do you have any idea how many times a year people's homes, apartments in particular, are broken into for just because of that reason? Isn't that the point of having a key and entry code for the building, to keep people from getting in and wandering the halls? Especially if you have people with well-known names living in your residence? Are you aware that if someone _did_ get into the building, you could be held legally accountable for any damage that could happen because of your lack of security? You don't even have video cameras to catch someone's identity if they did."

Her face had paled as she watched me, and I took a deep breath, holding it to calm myself while I waited for her to say something. She seemed at a loss for words, and I pinched the bridge of my nose for a moment, trying to push away my headache before I opened up the box. I took out a large stack of papers.

"First, you should hand these out to your tenants, so they know the dangers and importance of why they shouldn't let strangers into the building. It would also be wise to post one at the actual entrance as a reminder." I started taking out some boxes of small cameras and the monitor system out of the larger box. "These are state of the art, brand new and easy to install. I would recommend putting one facing the front door, the elevators, and the stairwell at least. There's more than a few if you want to do more. Instructions are in the box, but here's a card for a reliable contractor if you aren't up for doing it yourself. His prices are very reasonable." I put the things back into the box, and slid it towards her. "Put those up soon," I said in a stern voice, leaving no room for argument. I nodded my head at Zeus, who stood back up and followed me to the elevators.

"Wait! Why are you doing all of this? I'm sorry, but I just can't afford to buy these-"

"Did I ask you for money?" I said, turning back to look at her.

"…No."

"That's because I don't want any. You can pay me back by actually using them."

"But why?"

"Because I can," I said simply, and we left and went into the elevators without another word. I took the dish from Rose so she wouldn't have to carry it anymore, Zeus was eying the container hopefully while his tail smacked against my calf. She didn't bother to argue with me.

"I just got a bit of a deja-vu back there," Rose said teasingly, smiling at me. "But you were a lot closer to giving mine a heart attack than Alice's landlord there." I rolled my eyes. "You didn't yell once, I'm proud of you sweetie."

"I was close," I said, taking in a deep breath. "God, people just irritate me so much sometimes!" I hissed, and Rose laughed and put a calming hand on my shoulder.

"I hear you babe. I like your temper though, you make me look damn near saint-like," she said with a grin, making me laugh before the doors opened. We walked down the hall, and Rose just walked right in.

Her door wasn't even locked, and Rose gave me a knowing grin as I let out an irritated huff.

"She knew we were coming over now, she doesn't leave her door unlocked all the time," Rose whispered, trying to calm me. It worked, mostly.

"Rose, B!" Alice said excitedly, and when she smiled like that, I couldn't really hold onto my anger. She was like a little happy pixie, and it was pretty damn endearing. She gave Rose a hug, and Rose smiled knowingly as she gave me one too.

"Wow, she must like you," Rose speculated, and I shot her a glare.

"What do you mean?" Alice asked, looking at her curiously.

"I don't remember the last time someone's touched her and didn't get punched or thrown into a wall," she teased.

"Shut up Rose, I'm not that bad."

"Yes, you are," she prodded.

"You're being a bitch Rose," I growled.

"You say that like it's a bad thing," she said with a smile, flipping her beautiful hair before giving me a one armed hug. I huffed, but grinned back and squeezed her in return for a second before stepping away. Alice was watching us curiously, until her eyes settled on Zeus. She squealed, looking at him with a giant smile. Even he could feel her excitement, and his tongue rolled out of his mouth as his tail thumped loudly on the floor, picking up speed. He was a good boy though, and didn't move from where he was sitting as Alice walked over and held out her hand.

"Alice, this is Zeus, Zeus, this is Alice," I said, not really caring if they thought I was crazy for introducing someone to my dog. He was smart, and I just knew that he understood on some level. He sniffed her hand, then quickly started licking her, making her giggle.

"It's very nice to meet you Zeus, you're such a handsome boy!" He let out a happy bark, making her laugh again. "He's so big! He must be as tall as you when he stands up!"

"Bigger, actually. Zeus! Give mommy a hug," I said happily and he jumped up to his hind legs, putting his paws on my shoulders before licking my face, making both the girls laugh. I gave him a kiss, and when I patted his ribs he jumped back down. "He's really well behaved, he won't mess with your things or anything. Is it okay if he walks around?"

"Of course," she said happily, unable to take her eyes off of him. I could see why, she could probably ride him like a small pony.

"Zeus, scout," I told him, and he jumped back to his feet before trotting down the hallway.

"Scout?" She asked quietly.

"Yeah, it's easier to communicate if you can use single words. Scout's my word for telling him that it's okay to investigate, though I should warn you that if he finds a gun or drugs he'll tell me."

"Well, there's nothing like that for him to find," she said easily.

_No drugs, likes animals. Noted._

"So, this needs to go in the oven for forty minutes," I told her. She led me over to the kitchen, and I turned on the stove before taking the foil off of the dish and setting it in the oven. We went and joined Rose in the living room, and I grimaced looking at the overly-large collection of nail products that were set out on the coffee table, but relaxed immediately when I saw the large open box of fancy chocolates that Rose was currently picking at. Rose grinned at me knowingly. I sat down on the end of the couch, completely coincidentally the closest spot to the chocolate, and Zeus trotted over and sat by my feet. He sniffed, and glared at the chocolates.

"Don't you even dare," I warned lightly, and he turned his head and gave me that happy puppy smile. After scratching behind his ears he lied down.

"You weren't kidding about him being well behaved," Alice noted, handing me a tall glass of ice water before she sat down in between us. "Should I put out a bowl of water for him or something?"

"He's fine for now, but thanks," I told her with a smile.

_Very considerate. Noted._

"I thought we could give each other manicures! After dinner of course," she said excitedly.

"I don't do nail polish," I said, as politely as I possibly could.

"Aw, why not? It'll be fun! Is it for work or something?"

"Err, kind of, but-"

"Save it Alice, you're a fighting an impossible battle," Rose cut in, but smiled mischievously. "But though she might not wear it, the things she can do with nail polish are pretty amazing."

I rolled my eyes, but Alice smiled excitedly. "Really? You have to show me!"

Compromise, doing designs on someone else's nails was much more preferable. "Sure."

"So, I've been thinking again about buying that building," Rose told me, and went on to answer Alice's curious expression. "I've been thinking about expanding, building a second club. The woman who owns it is actually the daughter of one of your mom's friends, it's on the other side of downtown."

"Kate?" She asked knowingly, and Rose nodded. I could see her trying to hide a slight grimace, from what she had told me I couldn't blame her for not liking her. I'd seen her once or twice at the club, just another stuck-up model.

"What a weird coincidence," Alice said with an odd smile.

"How so?" I asked curiously.

"Mom made Edward go out on a date with her," she looked down at her watch and laughed. "He's probably picking her up right now."

"Weird," Rose said, "Did you warn him?"

Alice grinned. "Nope. I thought I'd leave that as a surprise, I didn't say a single word." They both started laughing, causing Zeus to raise his head, and I grinned as I scratched behind his ear.

"Did you talk about prices at all?" I asked logically. From what I had learned about the building after she had mentioned it the first time, I knew immediately that it was ridiculously over-priced. I was not going to let my sister get ripped off.

"Yeah, she's not being easy. I can't haggle like you," she said teasingly, making me role my eyes. "I'm waiting back to hear from her, I invited her out for dinner to try to soften her up in person, but she hasn't gotten back to me yet."

"Well, let me know if I can help, and don't you dare pay a dime over one point two mil," I said seriously.

Alice wanted to know more about Rose's ideas for a new club, which kept them busy until the lasagna was done. Alice made a salad to go with it, and we all sat around her coffee table again as we ate. As soon as we were done, Alice brought all her nail stuff out again, and I started sifting through her ridiculous collection, asking her what her favourite colours were while she started on Rose's nails.

I actually had fun, doing her nails. She was pretty girly with her favourites, but I stuck with blue, violet and silver colours, making a sort of broken glass design. I was very proud of the end result, and I could tell by her bright smile that she was too. I was glad that I did hers before she could ask to do something to my hands again, she didn't want to risk ruining them. It was a lot easier to touch someone else, being in control of the contact, compared to letting someone touch you. It still freaked me out when she hugged me, having her touching my hands for a prolonged period of time would have driven me mad. Besides, I liked my hands. I took very good care of them, and didn't see any need to change them.

I did a little more digging, as inconspicuously as possible, to learn more about her for Jasper. It didn't take much effort on my part, she was more than willing to just throw the information at me. I was not only thinking now that she would be someone good for Jasper, but that he would be good for her. She was a little eccentric, or maybe restless would be a better word. His calming presence could work wonders on her, ground her. He was great at calming me down. They were both the type not to engage in short-term relationships, and wanted the real deal. They both wanted to have kids, but stay in the city. And they were both just… genuinely nice people. You don't see that enough these days. My mind was set, but I decided I'd wait until the next time I saw her to ask her if she was seeing someone; I didn't want her to think I came here with ulterior motives because I was really starting to genuinely like her. Plus, she knew Rose, which would make it so much easier to bring her into my life, and when she met Jasper… Nope, not tonight. The rest of tonight is going to be just for me.

We all brought Zeus for a walk after both dinner and nail lacquer had settled, stopping for a coffee at this little shop a couple blocks away and sitting on their patio. "So Rose, why do you make B where that uniform? We could think of something much better," Alice asked with a slightly accusing tone. Rose laughed loudly.

"I don't make her wear any uniform, she does that to herself."

"Hey," I said sternly, giving her a glare. "There is nothing wrong with my work clothes. They're practical, easy to maneuver in and help me blend into the background. Plus, they're kind of cute. I look good but not flashy." I liked my uniform, and didn't like her picking at it.

Alice pouted and I rolled my eyes, making sure not to let my unease show on my face. Unlike her, it wasn't safe for me to just change my style. It was a thoroughly calculated look, a disguise, a separate identity. The clothes kept me in that role, it just wouldn't work properly if I changed them.

I couldn't tell her that, but Rose knew. She also would never compromise my secret, or share it with someone unless I gave her explicit permission. Which I never have. So I knew that she was thinking the same thing as me, but she didn't let it show. One of the many reasons why I love and trust her. She did change the subject quickly though, to my relief, and asked Alice about her parents. They talked about their family for the walk back to Alice's apartment, and I just put on that filter in my ears that made me listen but not actually absorb any of the words. I was completely happy with my little family, I wouldn't trade my brother for anything in the world, but listening to them talk about their parents pulled Charlie to the front of my mind. God, I missed my dad so much. It's hard to believe he's been gone for almost four years now.

Rose's parents did not like me. I never expected them to, but at least they were polite. I decided quickly that it would be better for them to be intimidated of me instead of condescending, and so far it was working out just swell. I didn't see them often at all, Rose wasn't close with them, but during the few times I had they didn't say a word to me and seemed too uncomfortable to make eye contact. They didn't know a thing about me, I was just an investor to them. Easy peasy.

I had to work early in the morning, covering a spin class for my brother, so after helping Alice clean up I went to drive Rose home. She slid in between Zeus and I on the bench, carrying the leftover lasagne for Emmett in her lap while fiddling with the radio.

Rose wasn't a restless sort of person, it was rare that she fidgeted like this.

"What's wrong?" I asked gently. She went still for a moment, before leaning back and looking out the window.

"She didn't ask how we knew each other," she said quietly.

I'd noticed that also, and was aware that Emmett and I were still the only ones who knew what happened to her. "Are you relieved?"

"No, anxious. Because someday she will."

"Rose, I'm going to say this again and again, a millions times if that's what it takes for you to believe me. It was not your fault, and no one will think differently of you if they know. If they do, then they just aren't worth your time."

"But you know that doesn't make a difference."

"Yes. I know. But Alice is not only your friend, but your family. She loves you. I'm not saying you have to tell her, and you know I never would, but she wouldn't think any less of you if she knew. And I'm pretty sure you know that too."

"I just can't Bella." Her words were no more than a whisper, her sad eyes looking down in her lap. I reached out and took one of her hands, squeezing it gently. Its as simple as that." My stomach was filled with that boiling rage once more when her watery eyes met mine. I regret not killing those men the night I had found her. I'm pretty sure they weren't dead anyways, there were no bodies in the alley the next day, and no police tape. It only slightly calmed me when she gave me a thankful smile, and I had to pry my hands off the steering wheel to let her out of my truck when we stopped.

"Thank you Bella," she said, giving me a hug after she stepped out. I squeezed her tightly.

"You have nothing to thank me for Rose. I know you'd do the same thing for me."

I kept a close eye on her, watching her until she disappeared into her building.

. . . . . . . . . . .

**I don't like doing the flashbacks, but they're telling a part of the story.**

**Bella's recipe for Chicken-Waldorf salad:**  
><strong>-Four cooked chicken breasts, diced<strong>  
><strong>-Four stalks of celery, sliced<strong>  
><strong>-One each red and green apples, cored and diced<strong>  
><strong>-Two cups red seedless grapes, halved<strong>  
><strong>-One bunch sliced green onion<strong>  
><strong>-One cup toasted peacans<strong>  
><strong>-One cup low-fat mayo<strong>  
><strong>-Juice of one lemon<strong>  
><strong>-Salt and pepper to taste<strong>

**Combine all ingredients in a bowl, mix well. Cover and let chill over night at least. Salad is best if eaten the next day or later.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys! Happy New Year :)! I want to say a big thank you once again to Tarbecca for the mentioning Protector in her fic dive over at A Different Forest, thank you so much! And thanks to all you guys that followed, faved or left a review, it means a lot!**

**This story is intended for mature readers! SM owns twilight!**

. . . . . . . . . .

I doubt I slept more than half an hour last night. Every time I closed my eyes I was back to that night in the alley, finding Rose. It was a little different each time though. Sometimes it was the faces of those men, sometimes there were three identical Victors towering over her. Sometimes towering over me. Sometimes I didn't get there in time. Sometimes I didn't stop when I knocked them out. I just kept hitting them and hitting them until I was covered in their blood, and looking down at their lifeless, broken bodies.

Needless to say, I wasn't in a cheery mood the next day. I got out of my bed at three, took Zeus for a walk, had a shower, a light breakfast, and got changed into my gym clothes. I stopped by the office when I got to the building, then went down at ten after five, sticking a sign on the door of my classroom before walking inside.

It was a decent sized room, the far wall all mirrors with one bike in front of it, and facing it was two rows of fifteen bikes. I closed the door, perhaps harder than necessary, and put my bottle of water and towel on my bike while I set up the small stereo and my headset.

"Good morning," I said, facing them with a dark smile. I recognized a few faces, and a couple of them looked excited, while a few a little uneasy. "My name is Samantha. Your instructor cannot make it in today, and as reimbursement you will have one extra free session added onto your package. I will be covering for those who want to stay, but I warn you that I am not in a bright mood, and I fully intend on taking my frustration out on this lesson today," I said with a mischievous grin. I hopped up on my bike. "If you're not up for this, I suggest you leave now."

One person from the back row slipped out, which caused a few sniggers. I did not mind at all, as long as he didn't come back and interrupt me. I reached down to turn on the stereo, and stopped when someone made a dramatic scoff. I looked up at the bulky guy in the blue shirt, who was giving me a condescending smirk.

"We paid for a hell class, not some spinning class with a little girl," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Dude, shut up," someone whispered when I glared at him.

"Oh, blue shirt, you are so going to regret that," I said sweetly, and two more people slipped out of the room.

"Oh, please," he said sarcastically. I hit the button on the stereo, and everyone hopped up on their cycles. I didn't break eye contact with Blue Shirt for a second as I started the warm up.

It was an hour long class. I kept them moving, shifting up their resistance, bringing it back down, sprinting in bursts and peddling off of their seats and other little things to keep them out of a lull while we raced the beat of my Slipknot mix. I could see that I was starting to wear Blue Shirt down, and when the first student ran out of the room, he started looking nervous as I grinned at him. Perfect time to push him, he looked like he was close to the same reaction. All talk, no game.

"Everybody up! PUSH! Come on blue shirt, I said push! Ninety seconds isn't going to kill you!" He wasted too much energy groaning, but raised up just like everyone else as they followed me in a sprint. Five minutes later, my watched beeped, and I signaled for everyone to start their cool down. After seven minutes I told everyone to wash their machines, and got a few thank-yous as they trickled out into the hallway. I distinctly caught Blue Shirt's voice as he was leaving though.

"What a cunt, did you see how she singled me out like that?" He hissed. My fists tightened on my towel. I couldn't beat up people in Emmett's gym, the law-suits, the shadow on his company's reputation… Just keep breathing, and keep your feet planted. _You are the master of your own body…_

"Dude, that was completely your own fault. You were the one who was being a dick, and now you're just being a bitch because you got your ass handed to you by a _girl_."

"Shut up," he hissed, and they disappeared through the door.

Well, it was sweet that his friend put him in his place, but I was still crazy pissed off at his words. I really, really wanted to punch him in the face for calling me that.

No longer tired, and needing to burn off some anger, I went back to the office, washed my face, and grabbed my personal phone and headphones. I froze for a minute when I walked into the main room of the gym on the first floor. Alice's brother was jogging on one of the treadmills, listening to music.

Well, I wasn't going to run away from my gym just because he was here. Even more pissed off, I walked over and inverted one of the weight benches and grabbed a medicine ball. I tied my lose shirt so it wouldn't rise up before hanging myself upside down and stretching for my weight.

I did some hard crunches, loving the burning sensation in my stomach that usually distracted me from my chaotic mind. I could see Hollywood looking in my direction from the corner of my eye though, and just got angrier each time I reached up. Why was he here early? Maybe he stopped in on his way home from his date. Why did that seem to piss me off more? And why the fuck was he watching me!

I threw down the ball, and ignored the head rush when I got down too quickly. I furiously wiped down my bench, then walked over to my favourite punching bag, taking out the roll of tape I had stuck to the bottom of it, and put on my headphones before I wrapped up my hands. I skipped through my music before I came across a SOAD album, then cranked the volume up until I couldn't hear myself think.

Slowly, slightly, with every punch, jab, and kick, I felt my exhaustion start to slowly dissolve the waves of anger that threatened to drown me. I was getting into a nice groove, and almost hissed when my music stopped and was replaced by Rose's ringtone. I un-plugged my headphones, then brought the phone up under one as I answered.

"Yeah?" My voice came out a little short, but she didn't remark on it. We both had our moods.

"Hey Bella! I finally heard back from Kate. I'm taking her out to dinner tonight, but we're going as a group. Do you think you could tag along? Just as an extra set of eyes? Our group might attract some attention."

"You know that's not my thing Rose."

"I know, but with me, Emmett, Alice, Kate and maybe Edward…. And you know she's going to tick me off, you keep me grounded. _Pleeeease?_ You said to ask you if I needed help yesterday."

She already knew I was going to say yes, I could never say no when Rose's safety was involved. And then there was the unspoken part; it would be bad for PR if Rose, Emmett, or any one of them got into a fight, or if a photo of Emmett got published on some magazine. They have to be on their best behaviour while in public.

And it was my job not to be.

"Will you get the corner table at least?"

"Of course, I already have it booked. Did you want to arrange the transportation yourself? I know how picky you are with that stuff."

"Yeah, okay. Not a problem." I started shifting, trying to stop myself from punching again while my phone was still in my hand. So much for my day off, covering a class for Emmett and now babysitting a celebrity dinner. Great.

"Excellent, I'll send you the info. Love you sweetie!"

"Love you too, bye." I hung up quickly, plugging my headphones back in and starting up my music. My body got excited as Chop Suey started playing, but seeing Hollywood starting to walk over towards me from the corner of my eye prevented me from becoming happy enough to smile. My jabs got harder with every step he took until he was really close, and I got fed up with playing oblivious. I tossed my headphones onto the ground, not breaking my rhythm.

"Hey Stalker," I said dryly, and felt him freeze. He always seemed to think that I couldn't see him. "You know, it's probably not the smartest thing to try and sneak up on a woman when she's punching shit."

_I_ froze then when I heard him laugh. It was the most beautiful laugh I had ever heard, and made my stomach flutter with the warmth it seemed to create. I turned around to look at him, not able to stop myself, but put my hands on my hips to at least look more intimidating.

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to sneak up on you, I swear," he said, gasping for a breath. Man, that smile was distracting. "I just wanted to come say hi."

I watched him carefully while he spoke. I found it pretty hard to believe he came over just to _"Say hi,"_ but he was just watching me with a completely disarmed, hopeful smile. He didn't seem bothered by my calculating gaze at all. I've sent stronger men running with that look.

Hmm.

"Okay, hi," I offered, leaving the ball in his court to see what he really wanted. I started peeling off my tape, pretty sure I wasn't going to get to continue my anger-management session in peace. His eyes swept over me, and widened slightly when they stopped halfway down.

I could actually feel him looking at my scar, and I quickly ripped open the knot that I should have undone the moment I got off of my bench. It felt like he had actually touched me, and I don't know why it bothered me that he had seen it, but it really fucking did. A lot.

I wasn't going to cry, or hide in embarrassment though, or let him know how much it fucking bothered me that he saw that, so I shot him the coldest fucking look that I could before I grabbed my things and left. This day just could not get any worse, and I was now exhausted and livid.

"Don't ever bother me while I'm trying to work out again, or I'll have you thrown out of this gym," I warned without looking as I walked away. He was lucky I gave him as much as a warning, if he ever ruined one of my workouts again he'd be lucky if I didn't break his legs.

I didn't even stay for a shower. I grabbed my keys, stuffed my shit into my bag and went home. The traffic was horrible, and my irritation just sort of seemed to plateau before I went sort of numb. I cautiously made my way into my building, parked my truck, and took my service elevator right up to my floor.

I tossed my bag on the floor in my foyer and held the door open for my boy so we could go up to the roof. There was a giant flock of pigeons up there today and he had a field day cashing them all away. I must have been up there for a while, because by the time I finished my shower, blow-dried my hair and got dressed it was already noon.

I grabbed my bag, and dropped down into my favourite corner of my couch with a sigh. I cracked open my laptop, and pulled up Leah's number in my address book before taking out my personal phone. I took a steadying breath and counted to five before dialing her number.

"ClearWater Rentals, this is Leah."

"Hi Leah, it's Bree Tanner."

"Oh, hey Bree! How are you?"

"Great thanks, how about you?"

"Oh, pretty busy actually. I've started doing some free-lance photography, and things are really starting to pick up."

Hmm, I didn't know any photographers. "Oh cool, what sort of work are you doing with that?"

"Over the last couple months I've done some weddings and a few parties. So let me know if you have any friends that need someone to do an event for them! I'm really hoping to get out of my dad's company."

"I definitely will Leah."

"So, what can I do for you?"

"I need a limo and driver for tonight. I was wondering if Collin was free?" I heard her fingers typing away through the phone. I liked Collin, he was younger yet very professional. And _discreet_.

"He is now. What sort of time frame are we looking at?"

Picking up me, going over the route, picking up Emmett, Rose, Alice, Hollywood and Kate, maybe three hours for the restaurant and driving everyone home… "Five-thirty until eleven, and Collin knows where to pick me up."

"Perfect. Hey, my cousin was hoping to take your class, will you be having them again soon?"

"I'm hoping to start one in a month or so. Just tell her to drop by the gym and sign up at the front desk."

"Awesome! Will you be paying cash again?"

"Yes."

"Excellent. He'll be there at five-thirty sharp. Can he call you on this number if there are any problems?"

"Yes."

"Okay, take care Bree!"

"You too." I hung up quickly, dropping my phone.

God, I hated this. I hated Bree.

I hated Victor.

After checking my newsfeed and replying to an update request from Alec, I printed off the maps for tonight and called Rose to talk about times and a head count. Everyone was going, and we'd be picking up Alice at her brother's place. That'd save a bit of time.

After a light lunch I went for an hour walk with Zeus, and then just collapsed on my couch after I locked my door. I was completely exhausted, but I didn't dare fall asleep. I was too on edge, and I just couldn't handle a nightmare before tonight. I lay there, staring up at my ceiling until five, then got changed into some black slacks, and a matching fitted blazer with a white blouse. My scalp hurt, but I put my hair up into a tight bun anyways. I grabbed my keys, my personal and temporary disposable phone, and my papers before sliding on a pair of sunglasses. Yes, I'd look like a tool wearing sunglasses at night, but I didn't want to get caught in any photos of this crowd. And they hid the dark circles under my eyes without make-up, and I really hated scrubbing that shit off of my face.

Collin was there ten minutes early, just as I'd expected, and I went over the addresses and times before giving him a schedule and map. He held the door for me to step into the back and drove me over to my brother's place. I sent Rose a text, and I stepped out to let them in when they came out of the building. Rose looked absolutely gorgeous as always, and my brother looked extremely uncomfortable in his suit. Watching him wiggle around in his seat and tug at the collar of his shirt while we drove made me genuinely smile for the first time today.

God, I was so exhausted.

We made our way across town to Alice's brother's place, and I felt my mood sink lower the closer we got. Why had I agreed to do this? Spending my night off watching people eat dinner. This wasn't hanging out with friends, this was going to be an evening of pretending to be invisible while watching over my brother, sister, a stuck-up model, someone who may possibly be a friend, and her annoying celebrity brother that is amazingly talented at stressing me out.

He saw my scar.

So what? It's a fucking scar, why does it matter that he knows it's there? It's not like he's going to see it again. No one will actually, a few more weeks until my next appointment with Rory and he's going to be starting on the extension to cover it. That thought lightened my mood. I couldn't wait, I was addicted to my tattoos, to the burning and buzzing of the needle dying my skin. We finished my back piece seven months ago, and I absolutely loved it. He had perfectly, and artfully, hidden all of the scars on my back, even the six larger ones. I still feel lucky that I had been unconscious the entire time the stitches were in my back whenever I felt the scars.

The only scar I had left relating to that night was the one on my hip. It was an ugly one, from where they surgically repaired my pelvis, and also reopened to help with the internal bleeding and infection when they figured out the fucker botched my surgery.

Well, at least I wouldn't have to worry about getting pregnant and stretching my tattoos.

I dragged myself out of my head when we pulled over in front of the building, and went to step out to wait outside. Rose reached for my wrist, and I flinched away. Her eyes were concerned.

"Sorry, what's up?" I said, rubbing my wrist where she touched me. Damn it, I needed to get my shit together.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"I don't believe you, but thank you for helping me out tonight."

"No problem. I'd be worried knowing you were all going out together like this, it's better that I can keep my eyes on you," I said in a forced, teasing tone. She seemed to buy it though, and let me escape the limo.

I only had two minutes before they came out, and just looking at the two siblings exhausted me. It was going to be a long night. Alice was beaming, almost bouncing as she waved and made her way over. Her brother's expressions kept changing. Surprise, excitement, apprehension, curiosity.

I was just impatient, and opened the door for them to get in so we could go.

"B, you're not a fucking chauffeur, you don't need to open our doors," Rose teased.

She knew better, this was how I worked, and I needed to be in control of the door. "You want me to work for you, I'll do it properly. Get in the car Hollywood, or the pap will be all over our asses." He finally hopped in, and I waited for him to slide over, but he just sat there by the door, blocking my way and just looking up at me curiously. I was tempted to just shove him, but managed to restrain myself somehow. "Are you going to move over or do you want me to ride on the roof?"

He looked embarrassed, and quickly slid down the bench while stuttering an apology. I got in quickly, staying as close to the door as possible while keeping it locked, trying to ignore his watchful gaze. I knocked on the roof twice to let Collin know we were good, and he pulled out. I crossed my legs, and pulled out my phone while trying to disappear. I felt him shift slightly closer to me and caught him looking at my phone with a curious expression.

"Stop trying to read my phone, Hollywood," I said, forcing myself to whisper so I wouldn't shout. Being this close to him was putting me on edge. His response was instant.

"I'm not looking at your phone, I'm looking at you. I don't think I've even seen someone make a pants-suit look so fucking hot before," he said quietly, so that only I could hear. I looked over at him in surprise. I couldn't believe he had just said that. He seemed just as surprised as I was by his comment, and something about his facial expression and just the ridiculousness of this whole scenario cracked me. I burst out laughing, to the point of my eyes watering as I clutched at my side. He was a pro, that was for sure. I was wiping at my eyes under my glasses when we pulled over in front of Kate's.

"Oh man. Good one Apollo, but keep it in your pants," I laughed, and without even thinking about it, I clapped him on the shoulder.

I ripped my hand back quickly, the surprise of the contact shocking me like a burn, and I jumped out of the car quickly and helped Rose out before I could panic.

But oddly enough… I didn't feel like panicking. I was fine with it, actually. That realization was a little unsettling, but I was surprisingly good. I just touched a man casually, and I wasn't freaking out.

I grinned slightly as we walked into the building.

I had never seen Kate this close up before, only from a distance at the club. She was tall, with straight, long blond hair, and had the body of a super model. Well, I guess that made sense. She was a model. She was extremely pretty.

Did he know she was coming? Would he be excited to see her?

_It doesn't matter, you don't care,_ I reminded myself.

Kate didn't even notice me as she came out, and I walked ahead of the two of them, getting the elevator and then holding the door open for them to climb in. Not a single thank-you, not that I was expecting one.

I saw his face the moment he saw her, and for some reason seeing his expression made my fucking day. He was not happy, although it was obvious that she was.

"Hello Edward, it's nice seeing you _again_ so soon," she said in a low voice with a wanting smile.

Instead of watching her though, he looked over at me, and my stomach fluttered excitedly.

Wait, what? No. I don't care.

It was simply reassuring that he could see through her façade, that was it. "Uh, sure, you too," he said quickly as she climbed in. He shifted over and made space for me once again, right beside him. He was taking out his phone as we pulled away again, not paying much attention to the model trying to get his attention as we drove.

I felt incredibly hypocritical, but it was too easy to read the message he typed.

_**I'm going to try to be polite as possible because you're fucking family, but I can't stand this woman. I'm not going to kiss her ass all night.**_

Hmm, maybe tonight won't be so boring after all.

Actually, I would have preferred the boredom to the irritation that clouded my mind for the evening. I tried to ignore our table and watch the rest of the room, but it was hard. I noticed every single time the table cloth fluttered, and it was obvious by the look on his face what she was trying to do under said table cloth. She spent the whole night reaching out and touching him, leaning into him, whispering to him.

The only thing that stopped me from lunging across the table and knocking her out was him. He wasn't oblivious to her moves, but he was obviously not enjoying them. He kept shifting away from her, brushing her off,

And watching me, just like he always did, even though he had this gorgeous model close to begging for his attention.

She started to notice this too, and by the end of dinner I had most of the table watching me. Hollywood with his usual looks, that for some reason didn't annoy me so much today. Kate in irritation. Alice in some sort of hopeful curiosity and Rose in amusement while she got completely tanked and made small talk easily with the table. It was a talent of hers; Rose didn't like most people in general, but she could make people talk with ease. I had noticed it often, that there was this quality about her that just drew people to her, wanting to please her. It was pretty intense, to be honest, and wasn't always a good thing as we both knew.

Emmett was the only person not shooting me frequent glances throughout their meal, though he looked even more irritated than Kate did. His big brother alarm bells had gone off, and he was watching Hollywood very carefully now.

There was a man that had been waiting in the lobby for a table for almost twenty minutes now. I thought he had been with one other man, but he left five minutes ago and hadn't come back. He kept shooting glances at our table, and I didn't trust the shape of his jacket. That bulge on his right hip could too easily be a camera.

Edward Cullen sitting next to Kate Handson in a restaurant, with his big-time designer sister and two of the biggest upcoming names in New York business would get some circulation.

I couldn't be in those pictures, especially with Emmett. The suspicious man had drawn more of my attention than the tension at my table, and I bit back my response when Rose and Alice said they wanted to get dessert.

I was surprised she had waited this long to say anything, really. "So, why'd you bring the help in?" She asked, her voice slurring slightly as she sneered at me. I was kind of flattered that I bothered her so much, and didn't even acknowledge her words as I continued to watch the man in the lobby.

"Excuse me?"

Oh, shit. Rose. I looked to Emmett immediately, knowing the tone in Rose's voice meant trouble. He heard it too, and took her hand in his.

"You've got the hired help sitting at our table, can't you just tell her to stand in the corner?"

Fuck.

Rose shot to her feet. "Don't you fucking talk about her like that you spoiled bitch!" She threw her napkin at her, and I stood up quickly before she could break a glass and try to shank her.

Rose was a little protective, and I loved her for it really. Though I really didn't care for the audience in the restaurant.

"Hey Rose, calm down," I told her sternly, stealing her attention. "Alice, why don't you take Rose to the ladies room, I think she needs to pee."

Bless Alice, she didn't hesitate in following my orders and quickly pulled Rose along to the bathroom. Once they were safely en route away from the table, I pulled out my phone and texted one of my preferred drivers. He responded in seconds luckily, saying he was just down the block.

Perfect, hopefully the photographer didn't run.

"This meeting is over. There's a personal car waiting for you outside, would you like me to walk you out?" She glared at me for a moment, but I remained impassive and polite. She threw down her napkin in lieu of an argument, and I dashed to her side immediately, steadying her when she swayed on her feet.

Yeah, I might not like her, but that didn't mean I was willing to let something happen to her on my watch. Despite what I easily convinced most people, I didn't think I was really a _total_ bitch. It's just more convenient for them to think I am. I handed Kate her purse, refusing to be upset when she snatched her sparkly clutch away from me like I'd contaminated it, and walked her out to the car that better be waiting.

I didn't look at the man until I was next to him, and snatched the camera out of his hands before he could blink. I shot him a look as I tossed it into a large vase of water and flowers without missing a step.

As soon as we were outside, I saw a flash of sadness go through Kate's eyes, and it completely changed her appearance. I fought back the feeling of guilt as I opened the door for her, then nodded to Saul before paying him and giving him her address. The back window rolled down as I straightened up. Her face was a dark scowl as she leered at me, a complete one-eighty from a few seconds ago.

"I don't know who you think you are, but enjoy it while it lasts," she said, looking over me critically.

"Excuse me?"

"He is so far out of your league, you don't stand a chance. He'll see that and get bored quickly."

There were so many things wrong with what she was saying, but there was only one thing I felt the need to address. I smiled at her, and leaned into her window. She shrunk back, surprised.

"I don't know who _you_ think _you_ are. All you have are rich parents and a good body, and neither of those will last. I may be many things, but _boring_ is not one of them." I gave her one last bright smile, and then patted the hood as I straightened up and walked away.

I faltered slightly, missing half a step when I walked back over to the table. It was the expression on his face, a mixture of relief and a deep sort of loneliness and wanting. I had to look away from him quickly, my pulse was pounding loudly in my ears and I felt almost nauseous. I just sat down in my chair, and looked around the room. Rose almost fell out of her chair as she lunged to hug me. I felt the corner of my mouth twitch up in a smile as I hugged her back, holding her from falling to the floor. She was such a girl when she drank wine. It was kind of adorable.

That, and she would never know how much these little bits of physical contact meant to me. There was just something so… fulfilling, touching another person like this. She and Emmett were the only people I felt comfortable enough to touch like this, and though I liked it, it also made me feel so lonely sometimes.

It was kind of staggering. I needed to end it before I freaked out. "Hey, none of that," I said with an awkward pat on her back, and topped off her glass of wine to distract her. "Okay, stop being such a girl and have a drink."

"I'm sor-"

"Shut up Rose," I interrupted. I wouldn't let her apologize for something that meant so goddamn much to me. Especially when I couldn't find the words to thank her for it. She let out a beautiful laugh, and gave me a loud kiss on the cheek.

"You know I love you right?"

"Ditto." This was getting too personal in front of present company, I didn't want to give him more reasons to be suspicious of me. I sat up straighter, looking over the room, and chastised myself when I realized I had slacked off.

The second man from earlier was back, clicking away as he made his way over to the washrooms.

Fucking hell, what sort of establishment are they running here? I shot up to my feet, making my way around the side of the room to him, but had to cut across to stop him when he noticed me and tried to run. I caught him, grabbed him by the arm, and looked around for a quick second before seeing the room to the back and pulling him along with me as I went through it, yanking the camera out of his grip as I did so. The cooks looked up in surprise as I walked into the kitchen.

"Where's the manager's office?" I hissed to the closest man. He was about my age, maybe a year or two younger, and blanched before pointing to an office off the side of the kitchen. I went over without another word and walked into the office. The older man in a suit looked up from his computer in surprise. "What sort of establishment are you running here?" I demanded angrily.

"E-excuse me?"

"This," I said, shoving the man forward, "Is the second photographer that had come in and photographed my employer's dinner party this night. Do you usually just let the paparazzi walk around in your restaurant photographing your customers? I was told this was a high-class, professional establishment. I can ensure you that my employer, Ms. Hale, and her cousins Ms. and Mr. Cullen will not be returning here, nor will we be recommending it for any future meetings."

Just as expected, those names had the desired effect on him.

"Ma'am, I can assure you this is an isolated incident," he said, standing quickly and walking over to me. "Please, may I offer Ms. Hale a personal apology?"

"I would recommend doing so," I said curtly, and walked away without another word. I ripped the memory card out of the camera as I made my way back through the kitchen, and dropped it into a half-empty glass of red wine that a busboy was carrying in before tossing the camera in the trash. He could look for it if he wanted to. I heard the manager run and follow after me as I made the way back to the table. Really, I understood it would be near impossible to keep all photographers from entering a restaurant, but Rose would love this. It was my own personal way of thanking her for earlier. I took my seat.

"Ms. Hale, I just wanted to come over and personally apologize for our lack of security this evening. You're associate has pointed out that you have been photographed by two separate men this evening. I assure you that this is not a common occurrence in my establishment. Please accept my sincere apologies. Dinner of course is on the house."

"Oh, okay. Thanks. And don't worry about it," she said quickly and looked over at me in surprise. She hadn't seen the first one.

I winked at her, and she smiled at me before I went back to watching the room. The desserts came, and when I saw Alice's cherry-cheesecake, it solidified my decision instantly.

That was Jasper's favourite.

"Hey Alice, are you seeing anyone right now?" She looked up at me in surprise, and I bit back my smile when I saw her brother's anguished expression.

Had he really thought I was gay? I wonder what he'd do if I asked out his sister.

"Nope, why?"

I had guessed as much from what we discussed yesterday, but it was still good to hear. "I have this friend that I think would be perfect for you. I'm setting you two up."

She beamed at me, and I was relieved that she didn't seem opposed to the idea of me setting her up. There was no amount of money in the world that could convince me to go on a blind date, or any date really. "I can't wait! What's his name?"

"That can be the first question you ask him when you meet him. Come by the club tomorrow night." She nodded excitedly.

"What's this guy like? What does he do? Does he have a criminal record?" Her brother asked worriedly, giving me a stern look.

Oh, someone wasn't shy anymore. I couldn't resist the smile this time. For just a second, I caught a glimpse of the boy from the audition tapes seven years ago. The boy who loved his little sister more than anything else in the world and would give his life to protect her.

Maybe he wasn't completely gone after all.

"Don't worry Brother Bear, he's cool. I wouldn't let him near Alice if he wasn't," I told him gently. He seemed to believe me, and gave me a small nod before relaxing slightly.

God, his eyes were so damn green. Even prettier than his sister's eyes, which was saying something. I looked away from them quickly, before I could get trapped. It would have been too easy.

I was kind of irritated with myself. Twelve hours ago I had been absolutely livid and uncomfortable around him, but now, not so much.

It was cute, when we got into the limo to leave. Emmett waiting to go in last before me, ensuring that Alice's brother wouldn't be able to sit next to me. We dropped off Alice first, then him. As soon as we pulled away, Emmett yanked off my sunglasses.

"Hey!-"

"Fuck, Bells," Emmett said, cupping my face in his hands. "How much did you sleep last night?"

"Emmett…"

Rose was watching me worriedly now too. Fuck. I always wore my sunglasses when I was out with them, what tipped him off?

"Answer the question."

"It doesn't fucking matter Emmett, I'm fine," I said, pulling away from him. He frowned at me.

"Is it because of him? I've seen the way he's been looking at you. I can take care of it."

"No, he didn't do anything, I couldn't care less about him. Don't worry about it."

"Is it Victor?" He hissed angrily. "Have you heard anything on him? Did he contact you?"

God, he just wouldn't let this go. I slumped in my chair, finally letting my exhaustion show.

"I just can't sleep, okay? I'm tired Emmett, just really, really fucking tired. Can you please let this go? You know you'd be the first person I talked to if something happened," I told him quietly.

He was silent for a minute, and I concentrated on the tinted window, not wanting to meet his eyes.

"Okay," he said uneasily, and I relaxed slightly. The rest of the drive passed in silence, and I gave them both a hug as they exited the limo. After Collin dropped me off a half a block from my building I paid him, gave him a nice tip, then watched him drive away before I walked down to my building. I woke Zeus up when I came in, but brought him up to the roof anyways. I pulled the pins out of my hair while waiting for him, massaging my irritated scalp, and passed out in my bed as soon as I kicked my clothes off.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Ugh-stop!" Zeus was licking my face, breathing all over me and poking me with his cold, wet nose. He started barking when I sat up groggily, and I looked over my alarm clock.

It was a quarter to noon. I'd slept almost eleven hours.

Fuck. I grinned brightly and hopped out of my bed.

"Okay, Mommy's sorry. One more minute and we'll go outside," I told him before dashing over to use the washroom. As the last pieces of sleep faded away, I felt absolutely amazing. Refreshed, alert. It's been months since I've slept that well. Slept that _long._

I brought a bottle of water and my phone up to the roof with us, draining half of it before I started doing some stretching and called Jasper.

"Hey Bells."

"Hi friend," I said cheerfully, smiling into the phone as I stretched my calves.

"Oh god, what have you done?"

I laughed. "You trust my judgement, right?"

"Yes…" He hedged, cautiously.

"And are you still free tonight to come to the club?"

"What's going on Bella?"

"You have a date tonight, I'm setting you up with someone."

He was silent for a long minute, but I waited patiently, knowingly.

He sighed. "What time do you want me there?" He was trying to sound annoyed, but I could hear his excitement.

"Eight o'clock, and you know the dress code."

"Okay, I'll see you later then."

"Hey Jasper?"

"What?"

"Wipe that smile off your face!" I teased, and heard him laugh before I quickly hung up.

After going back inside, I checked my newsfeed, looking into a suspicious abduction in Washington but finding none of Victor's patterns. It's been so long, but I knew it would be foolish to think he had just given up or died. It took a while to go through my e-mails, and I started setting up the lists to start making a group from the requests for my class. After two bowls of cereal and finally prying myself off of my computer I got changed, went to the park with Zeus for a run, had a shower, dinner and got ready for work.

It was a dry day out today, so I left my hair in a braid and took my bike. I stopped at the corner store on the way to stock up on snacks for my desk, and made it to my building at a quarter to six and unlocked the employee door.

I booted up my computer and security monitors while I twisted my braid into a bun, and crammed my top drawer full of junk food as I went through my e-mails. I snacked on a bag of chocolate-covered pretzels while I watched the bartenders come in and sign for their tills, and start setting up their bars while my guys started to trickle in. Jasper called when he got here, and I went down to let him in right before I gave the okay to Jacob to open the doors.

"So, what's she like? What's her name? Where did you meet her?" He asked with a mixture of nervousness and excitement. I grinned at him and we ran into Rose and Emmett as we walked into the VIP room.

"Hey man! How did she manage to drag you here?" Emmett said knowingly. Jasper wasn't really into the whole bar scene.

"I'm setting him up with Alice," I announced happily. The three of them gaped at me, and we moved out of the way as people started to fill in and Rose had to act social. I led Jasper away to a private table on the side of the room.

"Rose's cousin Alice? The one you thought might be spying on you?" He asked with an amused grin. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yeah yeah, we all know I'm a little paranoid. She's perfect for you though Jasper, you're going to love her."

"What makes you say that?" She asked curiously.

"Don't worry, you'll find out for yourself pretty quickly," I assured him. "Hey, I gotta get to work, but she shouldn't be long. I'll bring her over when she gets here. Will you be okay here? You definitely don't want Emmett with you when you meet her," I said knowingly. He paled slightly.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he said, looking around uncomfortably.

"Just give me a wave if you need anything," I told him, then headed over to my corner.

I wasn't surprised to see her come in with her brother, what did surprise me was the relief I felt seeing him. I quickly pushed that away, focusing more on his new haircut. It looked nice, his hair had been getting pretty long, but I thought it was a little too short on the top and not short enough on the sides now.

I mean, it worked for his usual style. I couldn't care less about what he did with his hair.

Alice ran over to me, beaming excitedly, but checked herself before hugging me. I was relieved, but there was a twinge of disappointment mixed into that which confused the hell out of me. "Hey Alice."

"Hey B! Is he here?" She was so excited! It definitely boosted up my mood.

"Yup, come on." I took her by the elbow gently, leading her over to Jasper's table.

He jumped out of his seat, and I swear I actually felt it, the shift in the room when their eyes first met. I felt pretty damn proud of myself, watching the two of them smile at each other like teenagers.

"Hey, I'm Jasper. It's a pleasure to meet you darlin'." Oh fuck, he was serious, breaking out the accent.

"Alice," she answered back brightly. He swept his hand, offering her a seat, and my attention was caught by the brother as he stepped forward.

I only hesitated for a second, then forced myself to reach out and took his arm, gently. I wasn't trying to hurt him, just distract him.

It worked easily, his response to my touch froze him instantly, and I guided him away from their table. Once again, I felt like I'd been burned from the contact, but he made no move to touch me or struggle though, and I realized that it wasn't completely horrible. I could see the worry clear as day in his eyes, and felt the need to comfort him. "Really Hollywood, Jasper is a complete gentleman. You have nothing to worry about. Just give them a little privacy." He looked over at them again, and I hoped he saw the same thing that I did; a pretty intense, beautiful connection between two people that seemed incredibly happy and comfortable. He gave me one quiet nod, and I quickly dropped my hold on him when I realized it wasn't actually necessary. He actually didn't pay much attention to me, and I was surprised to find myself walking him to my brother's table. What was wrong with me tonight? This guy was messing with my groove. I quickly ducked away without a word, placing myself in my corner and getting back to work.

I didn't have long to wonder if I'd pushed the brother too far and finally set him off. As soon as I was back in place I noticed he'd been watching me walk away. He didn't blatantly stare at me, which was a welcome change, but I caught him looking over pretty often.

It was a pretty quiet night, no big fights. It was obvious that Jasper was hitting it off, a couple times he threw me thankful smiles. I was feeling pretty good until Alice dragged him over to introduce him to the others, and he gave me a panicked look.

Shit. Shit shit shit. I texted the three of them at the same time.

**We all know each other from the gym.**

They all nodded inconspicuously as she took him over to the table where he already knew everyone except for her brother.

What was wrong with me? I can't believe I let myself get so caught up in this that I looked over something so crucial. And that isn't even what got to me the most.

He made introductions easily enough, and the five of them seemed to get along perfectly as they all laughed and got smashed together. I had been so careful for so long. I had Emmett, Rose, and Jasper, and it was just too easy to juggle the three of them and keep all the boundaries of my other relationships clearly defined.

Those lines were blurring out of sight by the second. All because of my need to take care of James. If things worked out between Alice and Jasper, I'd have to let her in.

I couldn't risk something slipping, because I really didn't trust her brother. I knew he had the potential to cause a lot of trouble if he put his mind to it.

I spent the night in contemplative silence while I worked, watching my three closest friends take in two new people. I was used to this, living on the sidelines, and it's never made me feel as empty as it did that night at the club.

I didn't bother them as the club closed, and got Mitch to leave on a low mix when he left. I was a little worried about how much their table had drank, so while I left Jake to watch the bartenders count their tills, I went next door and made an order for them. Emmett could eat until he threw up from cramming too much food and go right back at it when he drank, and I hoped getting him three of their big smoked meat sandwiches would give the others enough time to actually reach some of the food, and got pretty much one of everything else since I didn't know what anyone wanted.

"You feeling okay tonight precious? You don't look as pissed off as usual," Carlos noted with genuine concern as he whipped up my order.

"Yeah, just looking forward to going to bed," I said easily. "You must know how that feels," I teased with a grin. He laughed, packing up everything into a large bag for me.

"Well, you know if you're feeling lonely, or want to take a 'nap,' Uncle Carlos always has time for you," he said with a suggestive wink. I laughed.

"In your dreams, you dirty old man." I paid for my order while shaking my head, and made my way back up to the third floor of my building. They were all still there, oblivious to their surroundings.

"Hey drunkies. You guys look fucking wasted, so I brought you some sandwiches," I said graciously, dropping the bag of food in the center of their table. Unsurprisingly, Emmett lunged for the food and Jasper tried to challenge him, and I had to pry them apart. "Emmett, I brought you three smoked meats, calm down."

"You take such good care of me," he said, grinning up at me with that puppy dog look. Hollywood was watching us curiously, and I gave my brother an irritated look and punched him to remind him of where he was. Fuck, I was losing my touch. They were all watching us, Jasper uneasily and Alice and her brother very curiously. I turned a stern look back on all their drunk faces.

"How are you all getting home tonight?"

Alice said she and her brother had a car picking them up and that they'd give Jasper a lift, and Emmett told me he'd be getting a cab for Rose and himself. Everything was closed up, and everyone was gone, so I said goodnight and went to leave.

"Beeeeeeeee, stay with us! Hang out for a bit," Rose pleaded.

Her cousin jumped in quickly. "Yeah, why don't you chill for a bit?" He looked so hopeful, and to be honest, there was nothing I wanted more than to actually be a part of the group, not an onlooker.

But I just couldn't. Beside, Zeus would be lonely. I hated leaving him alone.

"Sorry Rose, I gotta get back to my man. You know how he gets when he's left waiting," I told her with a smile, and she couldn't argue with that. I waved to the others, and was slightly taken back by the angry look on Hollywood's face.

Whatever, I was out of there.

I stopped by my office, sliding the pins out of my hair so my braid rolled out, put on my coat, my backpack, and grabbed my helmet before locking up and going down to the alley. I was just pulling out my keys and sitting down when the door flew open.

He was there, breathing heavily and looking furious. I automatically tensed to spring, but he just stood there, looking around in the dark alley. He didn't even see me.

"What are you doing?"

His head whipped around at the sound of my voice, and he just stared at me. I was starting to get a little worried, he didn't look so well. "Earth to Hollywood. You okay? You look kind of sick, man."

"What's his name?"

It didn't get much more random than that. I had no idea what he was talking about. "What?"

"Your boyfriend, what's his name?"

My mouth almost popped open as I looked at him in surprise. My boyfriend? What was he…? The light bulb went off, and I couldn't help smiling. This was interesting. Had my words to Rose really upset him that much? I laughed, hard, the idea of me having a _boyfriend_ just too ridiculous, and when I looked back up at him he had slightly relaxed. "Are you serious?"

"Completely fucking serious." His voice was hard, but I could hear something that looked like genuine worry in it also. It's not like my life was any of his fucking business, but the thought of needlessly upsetting him bothered me. I didn't see any harm in it, and took out my phone, pulling up the new photo of Zeus I had taken for Alice. It was kind of cute when he squinted at the brightness of my screen. "Why are you showing me a picture of a dog?"

"This is my man, my baby. His name is Zeus."

His eyes widened in shock, and then his expression slowly shifted to one of horror and embarrassment. I put on my helmet before I could laugh and make him feel worse, and started up my bike.

"So you don't have a boyfriend?" He asked loudly as I pulled away. I lifted my hand in a wave as I took off.

I kept telling myself I had no reason to be smiling like an idiot as I drove home, but I couldn't help it.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Hello again guys! Bella's really hopeful that things are going to work out great for Alice and Jasper, but do you think it was a mistake for her to introduce them? And do you think she should have even bothered trying to comfort Edward? **

**Please review if you can, and if you have a minute, please vote for me for December's Fic Dive of the month over at A different Forest! Both of my Protector stories are up there :)  
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**Take care guys!  
>-Kitty<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**SM owns the Twilight characters! I'm only borrowing them for my own story. That is not suitable for young readers. At all.**

. . . . . . . . .

I was just getting in from a morning jog around the neighborhood with Zeus, and was surprised to find Emmett waiting outside of my door.

"Em? What's wrong?" I asked quickly.

"Oh, umm… Everything's fine, I just needed to, er, talk to you, and I was around, but I didn't have the keys. Thought I'd wait." He was shifting around, and I obviously didn't believe him. I watched him suspiciously as I unlocked my apartment and gestured for him to step inside. I told him to sit down, and grabbed us each a bottle of water.

"What's going on Emmett?" I asked sternly. I wasn't going to play guessing games with him, we were too old for that crap now.

"Bells, I want to ask Rose to marry me," he said quickly, watching me with a sort of panicked expression.

I wasn't really surprised to be honest. "About fucking time Em. So what's wrong?"

"You're… not mad? You're okay with this?"

_That _surprised me. "What are you talking about? Of course I am, I love Rose. She's already like a sister to me, you know that."

He let out a breath, finally relaxing and slumping on my couch. "I know you love her, it's just… You're my family Bella, and I want you to know that you're always going to come first, I'll always have your back. No matter what."

I smiled at him. "Just like I got yours. I love you too Emmett."

He laughed, and pulled me into a tight hug. We went quiet, and Charlie's absence was even heavier than usual in that moment.

"Dad would love Rose too, you know. He'd have thought she was perfect for you; because she is."

He squeezed me tighter. "Thanks Bells… I really needed to hear that," he said quietly, then coughed to clear his throat before speaking loudly. "And now! Onto the first order of business," he announced.

"And what would that be?"

"I need to find a ring."

"Emmett…"

"Come on, pleeeease. I know this isn't your thing, but I need help."

"Jasper would probably be better help than me."

"Jasper doesn't know Rose like you do though, you used to live together, come on."

"Fine, fine. When do you want to do this?"

"Right now."

I was going to argue, but one look at his determined face and I knew I didn't stand a chance.

"Fine, let me shower first."

"Yes!" He said with a triumphant fist pump, making me grin as I walked away. "Zeus and I will go hang out on the roof while we wait."

It was a long day. I was prepared though, and Rose had actually forgotten a ring in my bathroom a while back so at least we knew what size we had to get. We went to a dozen different stores before he found "The One." A beautiful, _large_, oval-shaped ruby ringed in diamonds on a gold band. I had to admit that it just screamed Rose. We went out to dinner at our favourite steakhouse afterwards while Emmett told me about his plans.

"I want it to be like, really fucking romantic. I was thinking maybe we could use the roof? You could 'ask me to come babysit Zeus' for some reason, and I'll take her with me. I could do a bunch of candles and shit and take her up there."

I had to admit, I was pretty impressed. "That sounds pretty awesome, but you can't just leave a bunch of candles up here unattended, you'll burn my building down," I explained logically. His face fell. "Wait! You could get those electric tea lights, they like, flicker and everything."

"That would work!" He said excitedly. We went over details and I let him know I'd help him as much as he wanted. I was happy when he offered to take Zeus for the night, since he was left alone for so long today, and I left him to raid my fridge before heading off to work for the night.

. . . . . . . . . .

Jasper scared the shit out of me on Monday when he snuck up on me in the library and trapped me in a crushing hug. He was smart about it, hugging me around my arms so I couldn't punch him.

"Thank you," he said quickly, and I relaxed and even smiled after a moment.

"I'm taking it you had a good weekend?" I asked wryly.

"Oh my god, the best weekend of my life. And I owe it all to you," he said with a glowing smile.

"Stop being so dramatic," I said with an eye roll. "What's for lunch?"

"Mexican."

We made our way over to my desk and sat down to eat. He told me all about their night on Friday, and then dinner on Saturday and their lunch date on Sunday.

"I love her," he told me, watching me worriedly. I'd been waiting for this, and set down my fork.

"I can see that, it's pretty obvious."

"You know I'd never endanger you though. We can play this however your want, it's just…" I knew what he was getting at. He wanted to protect me, but Jasper wasn't able to lie with an easy conscious, and I wasn't going to make him.

"I know Jasper, and it's okay. I'm going to talk to her," I told him, trying to sound positive.

"Hey, you don't have to do this for me, I'd never forgive myself if-"

"Hey," I cut off, and looked around before speaking again. "It's really okay Jasper. I have to. Not only is she getting suspicious, but her brother is too. I need to get ahead of this before it gets out of hand, can you just… give me a little time?"

"Of course, as long as you need," he assured me.

. . . . . . . .

It wasn't an easy thing for me to do. I'd only ever told two people of my… situation. Rose and Jasper, though Jasper didn't know many details, and most of what he did know Emmett had told him. We got together for dinner that night, but as she gushed happily about how much she completely adored Jasper, I just couldn't bring myself to bring her down from her high. Alice was a very gentle soul, she was such a caring person, and I was worried about what this would do to her. Wednesday dinner went exactly the same. It was still hard watching the five of them hangout together at the club, but I learned my lesson and just kept my distance. Hollywood's usual glances didn't even tickle me, I was so lost in my own world.

I almost asked Rose to help, and it was coming to that conclusion that finally made me just do it. This shouldn't be hard, I wouldn't let it. I would not let Victor inspire fear in me.

Our next Monday dinner, I steeled myself. I brought over the pizza, and I dove in as soon as we were both seated, before she could start.

"Alice, I need to talk to you."

He face automatically went to one of concern, and I held a hand up to stop whatever she was going to say. "Please, just let me talk for a little while. I'll answer any questions that I can after words, and I can leave if you want, but I really need to just get this out."

She nodded silently, and I just dove in before I could think about it too much.

"First off, I want to say the only reason Jasper hasn't said anything to you is because I asked him not to. It's not that he doesn't trust you, he's only trying to protect me, just like Rosalie and Emmett.

"My name is Bella Swan. Well, Isabella, but everyone always just called me Bella. In public though, I go by the name Bree Tanner. It's the false identity I've been living under for the past three years. I've had a few others, but this is the one I'm using currently in most cases.

"I have a stalker that I've been in hiding from since I was thirteen. He has a lot of resources, and things have gotten close a few times, but I haven't heard anything about him in almost two years now. I'm in something similar to a witness protection program. After their last few attempts at protecting us failed, I took things into my own hands to protect my brother and I."

She was watching me with wide eyes, frozen, so I just went on to finish. "There are only two people I've ever told this to before Alice. Rosalie and Jasper. Now that you're so close to both of them, and my brother Emmett," her mouth popped open, "I couldn't avoid telling you any longer. Alice, I know this is a lot, but if I'm going to stay in this city I need to know that you can keep this secret."

She was quiet as she thought things through, and I waited patiently, watching closely. It was two minutes before she smiled at me.

"So your name is Bella?" She said happily. I nodded. "But I should call you Bree around other people?"

"I don't like to let my false name get out either, just to make it harder to find me in case anyone recognizes Emmett. It's safer if you just call me "B" like everyone else."

"But I can call you Bella when we're alone?"

"Yes," I said with a bit of a smirk. Her face blanched.

"Shit, sorry Bella. I swear, I won't tell a soul, your secret is safe with me, I promise."

"Not even your brother?" This was the important piece, what worried me the most.

"I swear, I won't tell him a word." She reached out to hug me, but stopped herself and frowned.

I let out a sigh, and gave her an indulgent smile as I held out my arms, signalling it was okay for a hug, and she took the offer quickly with this horrible squealing noise.

"I can't believe you're Emmett's sister! I thought there was something different about you two," she said with a smile. "And you've known Jasper for a long time too?"

"A couple years, we work at the Historical Society together."

I was blown away by how easy it was. There was no awkwardness at all as we talked for the rest of the night. The only thing I didn't want to talk about was my 'stalker' himself, and she didn't push. She seemed much more interested in my lifestyle and the aspect of my disguises.

. . . . . . . . . .

Emmett was going to ask Rose on Monday. We, I mean he, had every detail planned out to the T. He had everything except for the flowers that were coming in on Sunday stored in the unused side of my apartment; boxes of those electric tea lights, fancy champagne, a bag of ice in the freezer, blankets and a picnic basket… I knew Rose was going to say yes, but I wasn't going to give her a single hint and I knew that she didn't have a clue.

She came into my office Friday before the club opened up to ask me to check into a new bartender she was thinking of hiring. I told her I'd do a check on him as soon as I got a chance.

"Hey, do you have any plans Monday?"

"Nope. Why, what's up?"

"I was wondering if you or Emmett could babysit. I have to go out of town to meet someone, and I'll be out most of the day."

"Sure, I don't mind at all. We'll probably just dip into your movie collection," she said easily, and I made sure not to smile triumphantly. "How long will you be gone?"

"I'll be taking off straight from work, and should be back around ten. You don't have to stay the whole day though, Zeus sleeps most of the morning anyways."

I texted Emmett that operation Ruby was a-go as soon as she walked out of my office, and I handed out the gear to my boys as they trickled in for work. Jake commented on my cheery mood, and I had to check myself. I enjoyed my good mood though; I'd learned long ago to appreciate these moments of happiness while they lasted. I just couldn't go looking soft in front of my employees, something that took extra effort when you were a female who was younger and smaller than everyone that worked for her.

Even Hollywood seemed to be in an especially good mood that night, wearing a slightly excited smile, and looking over at me every couple minutes as usual. I thought it was a little weird that this didn't really bother me anymore, though I was kind of surprised he hadn't just moved on yet. He's come here and done this every weekend for a month, and not once have I seen him hit on one of the many girls that tried to catch his attention, and Alice had made a point of mentioning over the week that she thought it was strange that he hadn't gone on a single date except for the one with Kate that his mother forced on him since he moved here.

He had been jealous when he thought my dog had actually been a boyfriend. I still smiled whenever I thought about that night in the alley.

Emmett came in, sitting with the four of them, and I was hit with that lonely, longing feeling that I was starting to get used to. I wanted so badly to go and talk with them, and eventually, when I realized Emmett still hadn't responded to my text message, I caved and went over. I leaned over the back of the couch to whisper to my brother.

"Did you get my text message?"

He looked confused for a moment, then smiled brightly at me and nodded. "Yeah, shit. I was replying and got distracted by a phone call and forgot to hit send, sorry."

Our attention was pulled away when Hollywood started speaking to Rose.

"Hey Rose, I've got a meeting to go over some contracts for a new film on Wednesday. My agent wants me to bring down some security though, can you spare anyone for two days?"

There was no way his agent or whoever wasn't able to arrange something like that, he was asking her for a reason. She answered him immediately though, and a little too innocently. "You should take B, she's knows L.A. Hey B, could you get the time off work?"

Emmett's face went beet red as he looked at Rose in disbelief. I was shocked too. Had she really just said that? He was watching me closely, waiting for my answer.

He just wasn't backing off, Rose had told me he was a persistent person, but damn. I was getting tired of trying to be a bitch to him, because honestly, it made me feel like shit. If I kept going like this… I was worried he'd hire someone to look into me.

I couldn't let that happen again.

I needed him to just… lose interest. Maybe a bit of extended time with me would accomplish that, let him get it out of his system and get bored of it.

Besides, I wanted to go full out for the wedding, I had the money, there was no issue there, but a few extra bucks wouldn't hurt. I wanted to send them on a cool honeymoon, and I could use that extra cash for a private jet for them without an extra transfer from one of my other accounts…

The entire table was watching us, and I tried not to let this bother me. This man was harmless in my books, he was pretty big but I knew I could take him easily. I thought it would only be fair to warn him about what he was doing though. "You really don't want me to work for you, Hollywood."

"Oh, I'd beg to differ. You're the best there is," he said smoothly. He was good, I had to admit, and allowed myself a small smirk.

"I have my own ways of doing things, and that's not going to change. I'm also not going to kiss your ass just because you're paying me."

"Good, I don't want you too," he answered quickly. God, that was a dangerous smile, made deadly when combined with those deep green eyes. I get the whole wanting to solve a mystery thing, or even liking a challenge, but I still just couldn't get why he was trying so hard.

His mouth actually popped open in surprise when I answered. "Fine. We can go over the details when I'm done work." I turned away and went back to my spot without meeting any of the five pairs of staring eyes I could feel following me.

I had another two and a half hours to debate on whether or not I was making a horrible mistake before the night ended. After my guys handed in their equipment, and Rose was supervising the till counts, I went back out and waved him over to my office.

He was very quiet as he followed me down the hall and into the room, and inspected it very carefully as he sat down in one of the chairs on the other side of my desk. He could look all he wanted, there was nothing in the room that could give anything away about me. The only personal items were my jacket and helmet that were sitting on my couch, and he couldn't see any of my screens from where he was. I opened up an empty word document to make some quick notes. He was waiting patiently, watching me while he waited for me to start. I'd keep this quick and professional, I wouldn't give him the wrong idea about what this was.

"Flight times?"

"Tuesday at two, and the flight back is Thursday at three. I already have a second ticket." Good, at least that was taken care of. It was in-country, so I could easily get away without him seeing my false name. I still wasn't ready for him to have it by any means.

"Your meeting times?"

"Wednesday at noon, and possibly another Thursday morning."

"Where will these meetings be taking place?"

"Wednesday they'll take us out to lunch at Elemental, Thursday would just be breakfast at the hotel." That was perfect, a restaurant that I knew. The owner had lived in our building when we lived in LA and I'd walked his dog for him along with Zeus on a few occasions. It shouldn't be hard at all to get that corner table Benjamin always tried to leave free.

"Which hotel?"

"Chateau Marmont." Ugh, not so good. I've seen so many stories come out of times celebrities had stayed at that hotel, I swear they must bug their rooms or something.

Holy shit! I could try out my new RF detector. _Sweet._

"Have you recently had any threats of bodily harm, or a reason to believe someone may wish you some sort of harm?"

"No."

"So, just your groupies?" I teased. I knew it wasn't something to be taken lightly though. I couldn't stand people getting into my private business. I'd take a horde of zombies over his hordes of obsessed fans any day. He laughed and answered with a nod. "Do you have any health problems?"

"Nope, fit as a fiddle."

"Any allergies?"

"Watermelon."

"Seriously?" That was pretty awesome. I'd never met someone who didn't like watermelon, so this was to closest I'd ever gotten to it. People thought I was insane for some reason when I said I didn't like melon.

"Yup." Cool. I smirked. "What?"

"I hate watermelon. It's disgusting, and those seeds are annoying as hell."

He laughed loudly, and I was a little surprised not only by how comfortable he looked talking to me, but how comfortable I was with it. It wasn't like I loved it or anything, but I was alone in a room with a man and I wasn't worried in the slightest.

"How much are you paying me?" I mostly did this for Rose, and I never charged her for it, but I've done it for two of her friends also. Her musician friend who was in a jam; that lasted two days and he paid me two grand each, and then there was that model, but it was just for a dinner.

"How's six grand? Three a day."

It was a bit much, but if I was handling the transportation, which I planned on doing, then I'd be spending a decent amount on a vehicle suitable for his status. I wonder what Harry had available. And I'd never worked for someone this high-profile before. He didn't know how much work that was going to really take me either, but I'd be earning that money. I nodded in agreement with his number.

"Okay, so I'll come collect you at noon on Tuesday. And I prefer cashier's cheques." I wasn't giving him a name to write out on it, and preferred something easier to deposit.

"I can come pick you-"

"I'm watching_ you_ Hollywood, not the other way around. If you want me to do this for you, we're doing it my way. You got that?" My voice may have come out harsh, but this was important. I couldn't let him have mixed ideas about how this was going to happen.

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?" He raised an eyebrow at me and I had to explain. "People get hurt in my line of work, and it's not easy for a lot of men to take me seriously in my field. I need to know that you won't do anything stupid if something happens."

He didn't look at me when he nodded, and that obvious lie pissed me off. I couldn't afford for him to go all chivalrous with me.

"Not good enough, look me in the eyes and give me your word." I glared at him when he looked up in surprise, and saw him falter.

"I promise. I'll let you do your job your way, no interference."

"Good. Well, I think that's all then. I'll take care of the transportation." I pulled out my backpack from under my desk and loaded all my electronics except for my personal phone into it. "Come on, I'll walk you out." I stuffed my phone in the pocket of my jacket as I threw it on, grabbed my helmet, and locked my office door before leading him out to the front. He told me his driver was on the way, and after looking up and down at the eerie stillness of the street, I decided to wait with him. This calmness felt off, and I wasn't about to let him get mugged in front of my club. I watched the dark road carefully. I could really go for a chicken burger, I think I'll stop somewhere on my way back…

"You know, you're not on the clock. You can relax."

"I am relaxed right now." There was nothing wrong with having good posture.

"Why?"

_Why don't you ask proper questions?_ "Why what?"

"Why are you constantly scanning? Are you just paranoid?"

Oh. Yes, I guess, but I had good reasons. That didn't sound very good though. "You should always be aware of your surroundings. The moment you aren't is the moment you become weak. Vulnerable. I refuse to be either of those things." There, that sounded much more insightful. His car pulled up, and out of reflex I went to get the door for him, but he stopped me with a grin. He hesitated, halfway through closing his door.

"So, can you tell me what B stands for yet?"

He just had to ruin it, that question brought me right back down to earth. "No. Goodnight." I turned and walked around the corner, confident he could finish closing his door without getting stabbed.

. . . . . . . . . .

Emmett got lucky with the weather, it had been dry all night yesterday so he had come over and set out all of his electric tea light candles and rearranged some of the furniture in one of the nicer spots on the roof. It was my favourite corner to go read in actually, a little circular area surrounded by trees and tall plants. I warned him that it was going to take forever to turn them all on, but he said he'd be able to manage it.

So I had gone out to work as per usual on Monday morning, and it was a long day. I stayed later than usual, picked up something to eat for dinner, then went and hid in my office at the club for the rest of the night and worked. I had planned every detail of the schedule for LA that I could on Saturday, setting up my car, calling Benjamin and getting him to set me up with his reserved corner table, ( He'd been happy to, and then thrilled when I told him I was going to be there with Marcus Volturi and Edward Cullen.) I'd double checked on the flight times and the hotel reservation, and even went so far as to do an light background check on his agent and ex-girlfriend that Alice told me about. You never knew with celebrities, and I was quite relieved to find out that she hadn't been charged with anything suspicious. I didn't really know or care why they had ended their relationship, but I had no evidence telling me so far that she would be stalking him or anything like that. His agent didn't sound like an overly exceptional person, he represented the both of them along with two other actors.

The only thing I could see going wrong was if he got bored and wanted to go out to some clubs or something. Just thinking of having to watch out for him in a crowded club I had no control over gave me a migraine.

So I didn't really have much to do. After about an hour and a large bag of chips I got bored and started making lists of what I needed to pack for the trip.

I was pretty relieved when Emmett texted me at eight and said they were going to head home, so I could safely return to mine. I hadn't really expected him to clean up after himself, but was still disappointed when I found out that he didn't. I warred with myself for fifteen minutes on whether or not to clean it myself before finally deciding to leave it. It was physically painful to walk away from that mess on my grass but he'd be back tomorrow and could clean it then. I'd leave a note to remind him when they came back over to watch Zeus. It was unfortunate that pets weren't allowed in their building, but they assured me they really didn't mind. They usually slept in the other side of the apartment, but apparently they both liked hanging out at my place.

I couldn't blame them, I loved my building.

It didn't take me all that long to pack my things. I only had one small suitcase and my black backpack. I couldn't really get all of my phones onto the plane without looking like a terrorist, so I set up all of them up to forward to my personal one. The only identification I was bringing was Bree's driver's license, and I packed that with a couple prepaid credit cards and some cash in my back pack. Clothes weren't hard since I would only be wearing my professional attire around him, along with a set of pyjamas and some gym clothes.

I slept horribly, my mind was just too restless and I just tossed around in my bed all night. I was relieved when five rolled around and I could just give up and start getting ready. I went for an early morning jog with Zeus which perked me right up, and had a nice long shower before taking my time to get ready.

By nine I was completely packed, ready to go, and had nothing else to keep me busy. My house was spotless, Zeus was walked and fed, as was I, I'd made a casserole for Em and Rose and I had already checked all my phones and e-mails, so with nothing else to do, Zeus and I sat out on the roof while I played with my violin to kill the rest of the morning.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was much more relaxed by the time I left, and aside from having to say goodbye to my baby boy I was in a pretty great mood. I easily made my way to his apartment, grinning triumphantly when I got an awesome parking spot right in front of the building. There weren't even any photographers outside.

The doorman let me in, and I started to sober up from my happy mood as I rode the elevator up to his floor. I couldn't really see any complications from this. As long as I kept my sunglasses on, even if I was photographed with him no one would know it was me. No one would think to connect me to him.

And it was pretty obvious that he wanted me to come, and I wanted to know why. His interest had gone from aggravating to intriguing. Ignoring him and intimidating him had both backfired, and the only thing I could think of to make him 'lose interest' besides asking Emmett to take care of him would be to just let him get bored of trying. Two days should be enough to let him get it out of his system.

And if I was going to be Alice's friend, I needed to learn to play nice with her brother. Might as well get to know him a bit.

I didn't let myself hesitate in knocking on his door, and was slightly surprised when he opened it within seconds. He looked at me for a few seconds, and it was kind of intense. He didn't break eye contact for a second, and I felt trapped.

"Hey."

Yeah, that was it. I wasn't sure what to make of him today. Whatever, I had a schedule to keep to. "You ready?"

"Yeah, would you like to come in for a bit?"

Hah. No. "No thanks. You need help with your bags?"

He gave me a playful smirk that I tried not to look at directly. "I'm pretty sure I can handle it." I nodded, not wanting to talk because now that I was actually alone with him it put me on edge.

_He can't hurt me. He's big, but I'm fast, and fucking smart. He can't hurt me._

He seemed to be in a great mood, that small, slightly smug smile never leaving his face. He was quiet though as we rode through the elevator, and I was kind of thankful.

I forgot how much I just don't like talking to people. Why did I agree to do this again?

Oh yeah, because I didn't have a choice. I was running out of options for dealing with this guy.

I grinned when I saw the appreciative look on his face when he eyed my truck, then the surprise when he watched me unlock it. She was beautiful, now. Dad had given her to me for my sixteenth birthday. I could have bought myself a beautiful car of my own, I had the money, but I didn't want anything else at the time. Emmett had helped me with some of the work on it when I was younger, but when I met Rose the two of us were able to completely rebuild her. She ran like a dream now, looked like one too.

It also looked nothing like it did before, but the sentimental value was still there.

"Is this your truck?"

God, what was with him and his obvious questions? I usually just chose to ignore people when they asked stupid questions, but that would have been no way to start off this trip. "Of course not, I just thought we'd play a little bit of real life GTA before skipping town." His eyes went wide, and I kept talking to stop myself from laughing at him. "She looked more like a piece of scrap metal when I first got her, but I loved her immediately. It's taken a lot of work over the past four years, but I've gotten her into pretty good shape."

"I thought you drove a bike though?"

"I do, but I can't very well carry a suitcase, let alone two on my Harley now, can I?" I closed the tailgate and slid into the truck. I didn't look at him, but he was watching me with a friendly smile.

Fuck, he smiled a lot, and it was messing with me.

"Well, it's a gorgeous truck."

"Thanks." I checked my shoulder then pulled out onto the road, thankful for something to concentrate on.

"Why didn't you just take a cab?"

I thought about my answer quickly, deciding there would be no harm in giving him the PG13 version of my reason. "Because I don't trust other drivers." _Because every time someone else is driving I have flashbacks of being thrown out of a moving car._

"It doesn't seem like you trust many things," he mused, watching me carefully.

He was right. "I don't." And I had damn good reasons for the way I was. I learn quickly from my mistakes. I needed to get out of this dangerous area of conversation. "You mind if I put on some music?"

"Not at all," he answered easily. I hit play on my CD player, content to listen to whatever I had left in there. I felt myself instantly relax at the sound of No Quarter. "Led Zeppelin?" He asked with a pleased smile.

"Yeah, are you a fan?" I asked, trying to hide my pleasure in the fact that he might have some awesome taste in music.

"Huge fan. I have all of their albums on Vinyl, and even got to go see their tribute concert in London back in 2007. Jason Bonham did drums for his father again, but it was amazing."

I gaped at him for a moment, and had to force myself to keep watching the road. It took a moment to find my words.

"Are you shitting me?"

He looked wary for a second, before giving me that crooked smirk. "Nope."

"Wow. Talk about a chance of a lifetime. They would have been so amazing to see live…" He nodded, but didn't rub it in or anything, which was good because I was insanely envious. He didn't talk for the rest of the drive, there was only the soothing music and the low rumble of my truck, and I actually felt myself starting to relax in the quiet. It wasn't uncomfortable, even with his frequent glances, as odd at that was.

And of course, that sense of comfort made me slightly uneasy.

I was very reluctant to leave the safety of my truck, but I didn't let myself even think of hesitating. If I was anything, it was professional when I worked. And that's what this was; work. We grabbed our bags and I locked my truck before walking over to the shuttle, and I felt like all of my senses became almost hyper-aware. I kept my breathing even while walking to the back of the shuttle, the farthest seat from the door and driver, and Hollywood came and sat right the fuck beside me. The bench was small, and there was barely two inches of space between us. My pulse was pounding in my ears as my mind quickly went through a list of possible ways to escape. I watched the driver's face in the rear-view mirror, Hollywood sitting quietly beside me, the man sitting two benches up from us, and a couple with three children sitting up by the front.

I was safe. I was okay. There's no reason for any of these people to want to hurt me.

_People don't need reasons to hurt other people._

None of these people have the _ability_ to hurt me. I'm stronger than all of them.

If he moves half an inch I'm going to break his arm.

Finally we made it to the airport, and I was kind of impressed by my charge's good behavior. He was quiet, polite, and always had a hint of a smile playing on his lips. He was being the perfect company right now, actually. I was grateful he kept his sunglasses on also, not drawing extra attention to us. We went through the airport without a problem until we went through security. The man recognized him, and Hollywood kept him quiet and happy, shaking his hand while saying hi and even signing an autograph. He waited patiently for me to come through as I went through the metal detectors.

They went off of course, and I gave the guard a sheepish grin before handing him my "Doctor's Note." He gave me a sad smile, waved his wand over me, and when it only went off over my hip he waved me through with a _"Have a nice trip sweetie."_ I was once again relieved when Hollywood didn't ask anything, he just waited patiently for me to come through. We were boarded quickly, and although I didn't approve of the seats, I was relieved to finally be on the plane. I sent Harry a text as soon as we were seated, confirming my arrival time, and it improved my mood when he replied back, telling me he'd be waiting, before we had to turn off our electronics.

I needed to become friends with someone who had a private plane. That would be nice. I glanced over at the actor next to me as I offered him a piece of gum, and wondered if he's ever thought in investing in his own plane. He could certainly afford it.

I don't use people, I just admit it's useful to know people with certain privileges. My relationships are never one sided either, I have a certain arsenal of my own talents that I use to help the people I know whenever I can.

Five hours. I set my timer on my watch out of habit; I knew I wouldn't fall asleep, but on the off chance I did, I didn't want to give my neighbour an excuse to touch me.

The seat belt light went off after we'd steadied in the air and I took my book out of my bag, not really wanting to read it but really wanting a distraction from my current environment. I opened it to where I'd left off before realizing I'd brought the wrong book; I'd stopped reading this one because I'd gotten bored of it. A really bad habit of mine, half reading books.

"Whatcha reading?" He asked playfully. I couldn't answer, my entire body and mind tensing as he unexpectedly leaned in close to me. I was so startled that I didn't have a chance to compose myself fast enough, and flinched away from him quickly.

He pulled away from me almost instantly though, looking at me worriedly. That look could have killed me. I'd lived so much of my life with those looks from others, walking on needles around me so as to not set me off, trigger a panic attack, looking at me like a pathetic victim.

It wasn't just the look though, it was the fact that the look came from _him_. And he didn't even know.

_Not him too._

"Sorry, I-"

"Pride, Prejudice, and Zombies," I blurted quickly. My mind was still in chaos but I tried to at least look calm. I was livid, with myself, for just not being able to be fucking normal.

This was Victor's fault, it was all his fucking fault.

Someday. Someday, I'll show him exactly how much I hate him, right before I kill him.

"What?" I was pulled back to the present by my neighbor. Not trusting my voice, or wanting to repeat myself, I just showed him the cover of the book. I tried to put a bit more space in between us, but it did nothing to settle my nerves. It didn't help that I was trapped in a metal prison bulleting through the air. "Is it any good?"

I tried to only concentrate on the immediate question, to block everything else out, and it helped a bit. "It's not bad. I don't really have the patience to read the same book twice, so this one is riding the line of annoying me."

He laughed, and that sound was able to do what all the therapists, doctors and drugs had never been able to do. What only Zeus had ever been able to help me with. He stopped the darkness threatening to pull me in. The pounding in my ears slowed down, it became easier to breathe, and the nausea faded.

I watched him curiously, my confusion warring with my surprise and relief. How did he do that?

When he stopped, opening his eyes and grinning at me, a different type of nervousness fluttered through my stomach; something much, much more dangerous than panic attacks and anger management issues. I looked away from him quickly.

"Hey, I'm sorry I-"

"Just respect my personal space Hollywood, and I'll respect yours. Drop it."

I didn't let myself look at his face, and it was hard. I did not want to risk seeing hurt in his eyes, or worse, concern. I somehow knew it would be more painful for me if I saw evidence that I had made him feel either of those.

"Okay."

He didn't say a thing to me for the rest of the flight. It wasn't the comfortable silence we had shared in my truck though; this was strained. I hated how tempted I was to look over at him. I hated that all I could think about was what he must be thinking of me. Did he make up his own theories for my weird behaviour? What were they? My eyes raced over the writing on the pages, but the dull words offered no distraction.

_Just say something to him. Anything. Just break the silence. That's what he wants, isn't it? Your attention? Ask him if he's looking forward to being back in LA. That's normal enough. You'd be being polite. It's no big deal._

I just couldn't do it though. Even when I finished the book, I just stared at the back of the chair in front of me in an effort to restrain myself from looking at him. I could feel his eyes on me. Why was I so afraid?

I almost moaned in relief when my watch beeped. Life was always easier when I followed a schedule, had a task to perform. I put away my book, slipped my glasses back on and did up my belt in anticipation of getting off of this horrid plane.

It was much easier to get off the plane then to get on, and with my charge wearing his own pair of designer Aviators, and the denseness of the crowded airport, we made it outside without incident. My mood lightened immediately when I saw Harry leaning against a beautiful, black BMW. I made my way over to him, keeping a close eye on Hollywood and the people surrounding us, making sure not to step too far away from him.

"Hey kiddo. The tank's full, and I have the second key. Just park her here and I'll pick her up the afternoon after tomorrow. There's a second set of plates in the trunk if you need them, okay?"

I nodded to Harry, giving him one of my rare, real smiles. He didn't know what my deal was, and I knew he'd never ask, but he knew there was something there. He'd always had a bit of a soft spot for me since I'd helped his daughter. I'm sure he would have broken the man's nose just like I had, but I'd been closer.

I had my own way of advertising my classes, I guess.

I gave him a nod, before whispering my thank you back to him. He gave me a quick wink before disappearing into the crowd.

Ugh. Crowds. They had noticed him, and I quickly ushered him into the car. They were taking pictures, but seemed wise enough not to get close to him. After his bag was in the trunk and he was safely inside the cab of the car, I dashed over to my door before more pictures could be taken of me.

"Nice ride," he noted.

I was really glad that he talked first. I tried to make my voice as easy as possible, trying to redeem my earlier behaviour. "Had to get something suitable for Mr. Hollywood's social status."

The relief I felt when he gave me an easy smile was pretty powerful.

The car handled beautifully, and my mood brightened immensely as I easily made the way over to the hotel. My passenger grabbed onto the door a couple times, but never verbalized a complaint about my driving. When we got to our destination, I was reluctant to hand her over to the young valet, and made sure that he understood there would be consequences, mainly being my anger, if anything happened to her, before quickly making my way over to Hollywood's side. He'd already been noticed, though I knew there was little I could do about that in this city. There were three things that I could, and would, ensure; that no one got close enough to touch him, that he didn't end up in jail, and that no one got a picture of me without my sunglasses on.

And at that moment someone tried to fuck with one of those things. A man in his mid-twenties with dirty blonde hair and brown eyes jumped out of the crowd towards Edward, and I was in between them in a second, redirecting his outstretched arm to an uncomfortable position behind his back as I turned him around. He was angry and started shouting at me, but I shut him up quickly.

"Mind your mouth, and his personal space. I have no problem getting into yours, and I assure you that I can dislocate your shoulder with one quick tug, boy." I released him, and I smiled as he bolted without a word.

I returned to his side, and calmly led him into the hotel while in my mind I was startled by my own mental use of his name. I wasn't happy about my slip, or the way thinking his name made me feel. His eyes were on me, watching me curiously.

"What did you say to him?"

I didn't really hesitate in answering, this was one part of myself that I didn't feel the need to hide. I was good at my job. "I explained how rude it was to walk up and invade someone's personal space, and how easy it is to disconnect a shoulder."

He laughed, and it had that same calming, warming effect it had on me on the plane. He didn't shy away from me, or look at me like I was crazy or dangerous. He just looked amused. I quickly got the key for the room, and took the bag trolley from the bell hop, dismissing him with a stern look before we walked onto the elevator.

I was happy that the silence in the elevator didn't feel strained anymore.

It was a gorgeous room, obviously an effort had been put in to accommodate his name, and I felt very relieved I had brought my scanner with me. I pulled it out of my bag quickly, turning it on, and waited until it picked up the Wi-Fi signal on my phone before I started inspecting the room.

"What are you doing?"

I held up a hand to silence him quickly, not wanting him to give me away if my hunch had been correct. I'd rather they not be tipped off, in case they were able to remotely shut any devices off and start them again later.

I picked up the first signal as I passed the couch, and backtracked. I dropped to the ground, and while sliding my hand along the bottom frame of the coffee table I easily found the bug.

And I felt pretty damn proud of myself for doing it.

I placed it on the table, giving him a meaningful look as I signalled for him to remain quiet, and scanned the rest of the suite. There was one in each bedroom hidden in the lampshades, in the kitchen under one of the cupboards. The one that grossed me out the most was the one on the back of the toilet. After one last cursory sweep, I gathered the five little bugs, and put them in an ashtray outside. It was a subtle insult to whoever had put them there; they had been beaten, and we knew what they had tried to do. If they didn't already know, they'd know when they found them in a neat little pile on the balcony. I was certain the noise of the traffic would drown out any noise from inside. Nothing interesting was going to happen in the suite while we were here, unless he got over this odd interest in me and decided to bring back some… company.

I tried to ignore how sick that thought made me feel, but it was hard. He was watching me in curious surprise when I walked back inside.

"Are those what I think they are?"

I nodded. "Microphones." He eyed my little device, and I handed it over to him. I thought he might have seen it in one of his movies, (I couldn't watch his movies. Though I owned them all, watching him on screen reminded me too much of the one movie he did that changed my life even more,) but he looked pretty clueless. "It picks up on radio waves. If something is transmitting a wireless signal, this little baby will pick up on it in seconds."

"Why would they bug my room?"

Oh, sweetie, what sort of bubble have you been living in? Of course they had. "Come on Hollywood, do you really need to ask that? I bet this place misses having your face on all their magazines."

I hated that look on his face, it was one I knew all too well. The face of someone whose secrets are constantly hunted, constantly watched.

He had chosen this life though, wanted it.

I didn't. Victor chose this life for me when he failed in killing me.

No, I would not let myself get angry over that. I wasn't going to even think about it. I grabbed my bag and went over to the couch and pulled out my laptop to check my e-mails, but I couldn't get a secure IP address on the hotel's WiFi, so I just checked on my phone isntead. I smiled when I got to my personal e-mail, that I reserved from Emmett, Rose and Jasper, and had something from my hopefully soon-to-be sister-in-law. Hollywood took his bag over to his room, and I opened it quickly.

**To: B  
>From: R. Hale <strong>

**Subject: I'm going to F*cking kill you**

**I know he didn't do this on his own. How long have you known? How long were you planning this! I'd be hounding you with phone calls but I don't want to interrupt anything ;)**

My jaw actually dropped.

**Calm the hell down, that was a joke. I know how you get when you work, and I don't want anyone to kidnap my cousin. He gives good Christmas presents.**

I had to smile at that. I missed her already.

**In all seriousness though, I just couldn't wait until you got home to say thank-you. It was so beautiful, perfect. We have much to discuss! Can't wait until you get home. I love you!**

**Please be safe,**

**Rose**

I smiled happily, kicking off my shoes before I shot her a text.

**I'm glad that it's finally done! You know that I hate keeping secrets from you, but I didn't think you'd mind this one. Just checked into the hotel and read your e-mail, there haven't been any incidents. **

Hollywood came back into the room, and I forced myself back into work mode. I had a job to do here, I could deal with personal stuff after all my bases were covered.

"Your agent will be meeting us here at eleven, and I'll drive the three of us to the restaurant afterwards. The meeting should be about three hours." This was going to be easy as long as I kept on my toes. Unless he gets lonely… I kept my face neutral, professional, ignoring the sick feeling in my gut that I was quickly learning to hate. "Do you have anything else you want to do tomorrow?"

He seemed genuinely surprised. "Like what?"

That sort of stumped me for a second, and I chose my words carefully. Why did he always make me spell things out like this? Ugh. "Like whatever you want to do. I'm here to follow you, but if possible I would like to have some forewarning of your plans."

"No, just the meeting," he answered quickly, dropping down onto the other couch. I was a bit surprised; did he really want to sit in here and do nothing? We were back on his old stomping grounds, I'd thought he'd want to make some appearances.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I hate this city. I just want to do this thing and go home." I was a little surprised, and completely intrigued with the venom in his voice. He was carrying a very strong sort of hate with him.

And that was absolutely none of my business. I just nodded, and I saw a bit of relief in his expression. Like he was in desperate need of a shield, he grabbed a large manila envelope out of his bag that contained a thick stack of papers, and buried himself in the words of whatever he was reading, going over things with a highlighter.

He was obviously uncomfortable, and I felt a little guilty. It was him that had said it, not me, but he was obviously regretting it. I didn't really get what the big deal was; I hated tons of things, it wasn't something I'd be embarrassed by.

When I'm uncomfortable, I like to be given space.

I'm hungry.

"Are you hungry?" I asked him. It'd be rude to cook for only myself, and I had asked for them to put food in the kitchen. He looked up at me in surprise, but his stomach had no problem in giving me prompt response by growling angrily. "I'll take that as a yes. What do you want?"

"I'm not picky," he answered, and those words were music to my ears. I really wanted some pasta, but there was none in the cupboards. There was flour and eggs though. Milk, butter, tomato sauce… I could make some, it'll just take a bit longer. Rosé sauce too. I smiled as I got to work, loving how my mind was able to just block out the world and concentrate all of my focus on the task at hand. Cooking always relaxed me, reminding me of when life had been easy, happy, living in the tiny town of Forks with Charlie and Emmett, seeing their smiling faces as they ate the food I cooked for them.

Then Victor had to come along and destroy everything.

I was distracted from my building anger when Hollywood strolled into the kitchen, watching me curiously. He took a seat by the counter, watching me, not saying a word.

And I was surprised to find that I really didn't mind.

He was quiet, seemingly content just watching me as I mixed my eggs and flour, made my sauce and cut up some vegetables, then rolled out the dough. I didn't have my pasta roller, but I'd made do without before, and rolled up my thin sheet of dough and cut it in slices to make some fettuccine.

I didn't say a word either, but I'd noticed his amused smile from the corner of my eye every once in a while.

It was oddly comfortable.

When I finished I set a plate in front of him, and I was about to make my own then quickly decided to wash the counter first. That egg and flour mixture could turn into fucking cement if left too long.

"Oh my god, this is fucking delicious," he said over a mouthful of food. I smiled at him before thinking better of it.

"Thank you."

He just sort of stared at me for a moment, then cleared his throat. "Aren't you going to eat?"

"Yeah, in a sec." I scrubbed the crap off of the counter, then cleaned my pan, pot and cutting board before standing them up to dry. Then finally, _finally,_ I sat down with my plate and pretty much inhaled it.

Not to sound conceited, but I was a pretty awesome cook.

I found him smiling, trying not to look directly at me. Maybe I should have been embarrassed, but my table manners were extraordinary compared to Emmett's. Growing up in my house, you had to eat fast, or you didn't eat at all.

He thanked me again for dinner before leaving the kitchen, and I went through the fridge to take inventory of what else was in there. It all seemed incredibly healthy, and I was disappointed that I couldn't find any cookies or something that had chocolate in it. I could really go for some chocolate. I gave up pretty quickly, and paused when I walked back into the living room.

He was lying back on the couch wearing a pair of comfy-looking grey flannel pants, and a plain white t-shirt that hugged his muscular torso perfectly, watching TV and looking completely relaxed.

_You know, he probably wouldn't mind if you sat on that other couch and watched with him…_

But he just looked at me, and I quickly reminded myself that I wasn't hired to hang out with him. He didn't invite me, and I wouldn't force my presence on him. Besides, I wasn't supposed to be friendly. I needed to be _boring._

I like to think I was very good at never over-staying my welcome, and with that thought, I quickly went out onto the balcony, closing the door behind myself, and took out my phone.

Shit, I should have brought out my laptop and gotten some work done… I looked up though, and my employer had an irritated look on his face, so I decided to stay exactly where I was. I looked at my phone, and smiled when I had messages from both Rose and Em. I read his first, knowing he was much more impatient than his fiancé was.

**How's it going? Is he making you uncomfortable? If he gets anywhere near you I will destroy him. Let me know you're okay, and you know what I mean.  
>Zeus misses his mommy. He loves you, and so do I!<br>And I know people in LA. Just say the word.**

I shook my head as I went to reply. God, I loved my brother.

**Relax Em, I'm fine. Give my baby boy a treat for me.**

I opened up Rose's next.

**Emmett's freaking out over here, I've had to talk him out of going to the airport multiple times.  
>I'm worried too though. I know Edward would never hurt you, but I know you're probably on edge just being in the same suite as him. I just wanted to remind you that it's okay to feel that way; it's not weakness. It's strength, because even though you're uncomfortable, you're killing those fears with your actions.<br>I know how hard this is for you, and I'm so proud of you.  
>I love you, and feel free to call if you can't sleep and need someone to talk to.<strong>

I closed my eyes after reading that, breathing slowly. She knew me so well, just like I knew her. I've made more progress in the two years or so we'd known each other than I had in the five years after Victor attacked me before I met her. She was the only person that could really know how I felt, who had felt that way before also.

There was a relief in texting; it was easy to act when someone couldn't hear or see you.

**I really am fine, and I will be fine.  
>Thank you though.<strong>

And one more to Emmett, just to stay on the safe side.

**If you fly out to LA, I'll show Rose the videos of our dance recitals.**

There, that should do it. I pulled up my Tetris app on my phone, and got lost in the game. I wasn't really paying attention to how many games I played, but I eventually got bored, closing the app, and saw that it was close to two in the morning. I stood up, stretched, and walked back inside.

I froze when I noticed he was still on the couch, but he was sound asleep, snoring softly. I probably looked crazy creepy while I stood there for a moment, not quite sure what to do.

That really didn't look comfortable, and he had that meeting tomorrow, but… no, I couldn't wake him up. I wouldn't.

It felt wrong leaving him like that though.

With a sigh, I went and found a blanket and carefully draped it over him, then turned off the TV before going into my room.

. . . . . . . . . .

**So, her comfort zone is pretty much out of sight for her at this moment, but she's doing what she thinks is best with the options she has. Questions, comments? Please leave a review!**

**And thank you to everyone who's left a review, followed, or favourited so far! You guys are awesome! :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**I wanted to say a very big THANK YOU to Nicffwhisperer for mentioning this story over at TLS! Very, very cool.**

**SM owns Twilight! I'm only playing with her characters, and doing things that children shouldn't be reading about with them.**

. . . . . . . . . .

I locked the door, then got changed for bed. I turned off the light, crawled under the blankets, and…

Stared at the black ceiling.

_He was right outside; he could wake up any moment, and try to come in here._

The door was locked.

_He could open that lock with a Q-tip, or break it down._

But he wouldn't. Rose said he wouldn't.

_But how well does Rose really know him?_

I got out of my bed, and slid the heavy nightstand in front of it.

_What if there's a fire? And the smoke knocks you out before you can move it away in time?_

I'd rather burn to death than feel another man touch me again.

But he won't. He actually _really_ doesn't seem like that sort of guy in the slightest, but no matter what I told myself I just couldn't seem to settle my unease.

So I just sat up in my bed with the lights on, waiting and arguing and trying to convince myself to just calm the fuck down. But it didn't work, and absolutely nothing happened.

By four I had given up trying, got changed into my work-out clothes, and slipped out of my room. He was still sound asleep on the couch, and I left a quick note explaining where I was, reluctantly putting my phone number down on the paper as well. I was going to change numbers again when I got home anyways, no big deal really.

I didn't wait to get down to the gym; as soon as the door to his suite closed behind me I ran. I sprinted down the hallway, flew down the stairwell, then hit the humid air as my feet connected with the sidewalk. I set my alarm while jogging down the street, and ran until my legs and lungs burned, letting the physical pain pull me away from the worse sort of pain, the one that tried to drown me from inside my mind. I ran until that alarm went off, and then I turned on the spot and started running back.

When I walked back into our room, I quickly ripped down the note I'd left on the door and shoved it into my pocket, rejoicing in the fact that I'd gotten back before he'd woken up to see it. I wasn't worried about hiding this look from him; he'd already seen me at my gym, there was no point. He sat up when I walked inside, rubbing at his eyes. It was kind of adorable. My mouth ran away from me.

"Hey sleeping beauty. You're up."

Maybe I was still high from my run.

"Where'd you go off to?" he mumbled sleepily.

"Running." He still looked mostly asleep, and I took my chance to disappear and steal the shower first. I grabbed all my things, but when I got into the bathroom I froze.

I think the worst part was knowing I was being completely ridiculous, and having that knowledge do nothing to relieve me from that weighted fear that sat on my chest, heavy and impossible to ignore.

So I just pushed through, feeling like I'd be sick again any moment. I took off my clothes and got into the water, staring at the doorknob the entire time. I was more than relieved when I was dressed again, and quickly cleared out of the bathroom in case he needed it. In my room I dried and tied back my hair into that stupid fucking bun, then went out and sat on the couch to go through my e-mail, managing to connect to the WiFi on my phone instead of the hotel's.

I checked the one I had set up to alert me if I got any hits on Victor's description from the program I had running at home. Then there was my account for Alec, the one for Em and Rose, my building, the one I gave out to my contacts and the one for the club. Then I checked my phone. Jacob was able to take care of a mix-up in a liquor delivery, and Sam had a request from a tenant to use the rooftop for a party. I took the time to both thank Jacob and respond to Sam while the shower was going. I told him to get me the usual information; the size of the party and the time frame they would require access for, before I gave him the go ahead to give them the usual contracts to sign.

I sent a text to Benjamin, just confirming my reservation at that corner table, and reminding him of the party I was working for. I ignored Emmett's text asking if I'd slept last night, but was reassured by Ben's quick response that I was reading as Hollywood came out from his shower. He was wearing dark designer jeans and this beautiful deep green shirt, untucked over a black t-shirt. As he walked by and stopped by me, I found myself inhaling the gentle scent of his cologne, or shampoo, whatever.

He smelt good. Like,_ really_ good.

My inspection of him was very quick, but when he stopped and looked at me, he just kind of… stayed that way. I felt equal parts uncomfortable, annoyed, and flattered, but I could only take it for so long. I needed to do something, move, fast. _Now._ "Your agent won't be here for two hours, you hungry?"

He blinked, then looked away as he fidgeted uncomfortably. "Not really, I'm not a big breakfast person. Thanks." He sat back down on the couch he had slept on and picked up the bundle of papers he'd been reading yesterday.

"Your loss," I said, before retreating like a coward. I didn't care. That look had been so intense… I took a shuddering breath, and then looked for something to occupy my mind to help me calm down. I was fine. He just looked at me, it was no big deal. As I opened the fridge I took out the only things that looked slightly appealing to my nauseous stomach; bacon and strawberries. I cut open the package, found a frying pan and some tongs, and started cooking it while cleaning and cutting the strawberries. There were bananas, yogurt, ice and a blender and I immediately decided a smoothie was the way to go. My favourite comfort food.

He said he didn't want anything, but I still felt rude. I even had enough strawberries cut for another smoothie.

No sane person could ignore a plate of bacon though, so I decided to just take it out with me. I felt much more centered now, and confidently made my way back into the living room, setting the plate down within arm's reach of both of us before grabbing my laptop.

I kept myself busy writing the draft for the e-mail I'd be sending the participants of my new class. Prices, insurance waver, types of clothes to wear, the times of the classes and how many sessions there would be along with the personal and medical information pages that would need to be filled out. Not long after I started working I noticed him eying that plate of bacon, repeatedly, but he never reached for it. I smiled slightly. I knew he'd want some, and spoke without looking away from my screen.

"Help yourself Hollywood."

"You sure?" Aw, he just looked so hopeful, like a kid waiting for a cookie. I nodded. I didn't really want anymore, my appetite was close to non-existent, but took a big sip of my smoothie to try and wash away the salt in my mouth. He smiled brightly, and I made sure not to look directly at it. "Thanks."

He quickly cleared the plate of bacon, and I was happy that none was wasted. It was by no means a healthy breakfast though, the most important meal of the fucking day, and I kind of wished he'd eat something else. From what I knew, which wasn't much really, people liked to drink at these sorts of meetings, and he'll be easier to babysit if he goes in with some food in his system first. He liked the bacon, maybe I should have just made him a smoothie anyways.

_You're not his mother, girlfriend, or really even a friend. He's your employer. He probably only ate your food last night to be polite. Stop making a fool of yourself._

But he liked the food.

_He's a fucking actor, and he was probably just being polite._

Embarrassment was by no means an emotion I was used to or comfortable with, and like most things I was uncomfortable with, it just pissed me off. I took out my anger on the buttons of my keyboard, hitting them much harder than was necessary.

"What are you working on?"

_Don't yell at him, he hasn't done anything wrong. You're just fucking crazy, and you don't need to take it out on him._

"Work stuff," I answered as politely as possible. I needed to go for a run, or punch something, or bake some fucking cookies, anything to distract myself from the tremors that started rocking through my hands again.

"What're you drinking?"

"Strawberry-banana smoothie."

"Is it good? It looks good."

I looked up at him, trying to discern if he was teasing me or not, but I couldn't find anything but friendliness in his smile. What would really be the harm in offering him one? The stuff's right there, and it's not like I'm trying to win him over with food. I just like cooking, I like seeing people smile because of something I made them. There's no harm in just offering.

_He could think you're a pushover, someone easier to walk over because they like to help people._

Hah! He could think that all he wants. I might like helping people, but by no means am I any sort of pushover.

"Yup. Want one?" I was proud that my voice came out sounding so damn calm.

Then I saw something that erased all of my other fears. He lied. It was so obvious, so transparent, and I saw in that exact moment that Hollywood may be a great actor, but he could not lie for shit. All I had to do was look into those dangerous, beautiful green eyes. "No thanks."

I sighed in relief, feeling a hundred times better, before going back to the kitchen. He did want one, but he was being polite and didn't want me to go out of my way. Sure enough, his face lit up when I came back out and set it down on the table in front of him.

It was getting harder and harder not to smile every time I saw him smile.

"How did you get that restraining order on James to go through so quickly?" He blurted out suddenly. I answered as quickly as I could, that question could lead into a bunch of dangerous topics, worst of all being him knowing that I'd been watching out for his sister, because she was my Rose's cousin.

He couldn't know about Rose and Emmett.

"I know some people." That wasn't a good answer either, it would just make him more curious. I couldn't afford that. Shit.

Ever hear the expression that curiosity killed the cat? My life's a bit different. People get curious of me, and it's me and my family that gets hurt from it. He either finds us, or we have to disappear before he does.

There was a knock on the door, and though he was ten minutes late, I guessed that it must be his agent. He actually got up to answer it himself, and I shot him a look that had him quickly dropping back into his seat. Seriously, who had he had working for him before? Did he actually think it was wise to open his own hotel door? There could be a horde of horny young teenagers just waiting on the other side waiting to chop him up into tiny pieces to share and take home.

Okay, maybe nothing that intense, but still. It wasn't smart or safe.

I put on my sunglasses before unlocking the door, not trusting this man in the slightest, and did feel a little let down when it was only his agent. I recognized him immediately from the picture I had seen on a copy of his driver's license. Not nearly as exciting as battling a horde of crazy people.

"Mr. Crowley," I said politely, and gestured for him to enter. He gave me an obvious once over before smiling at me. My stomach rolled.

"Who are you?"

"Mr. Cullen's security for the duration of his trip." He looked at me expectantly, like he was waiting for some sort of punch line.

He was in my _line_ of fire, and it was very hard not to _punch_ him for that condescending look. I shut and locked the door, then walked over to the living room without a word and took a seat.

My heart clenched painfully when I remembered what Angela had told me back in kindergarten. _"Sometimes, when you can't say something nice, it's better to say nothing at all."_

When he came in, I knew that I didn't like him. But as I listened to him and watched him interact with Hollywood, I got this really odd, suspicious feeling. There was something in the way he smiled, the tone of his voice, even the angle of his fucking eyebrows that just rubbed me wrong. I was suspicious, but not for me… for Hollywood. I didn't fucking trust this guy in the slightest, and kind of wished I'd looked deeper into him besides him criminal records.

I put it on my to-do list to tackle later. I didn't want to deal with it on the limited resources I had on the laptop I'd taken and a weak connection.

After half an hour of them going over different parts of a manuscript that actually sounded pretty interesting, I called for my car to be pulled up before alerting them that we needed to leave for the meeting.

I had gotten a little used to the way Hollywood would look at me every so often, but it was nothing like the way his agent looked at me. When Hollywood looked at me, it was more like he was checking to make sure I was still there, and he was _usually_ looking at my face. He wasn't very vulgar about it, which is probably why I was able to put up with it.

Tyler Crowley was a different story. His eyes never made it above my shoulders, and the arrogant, indulgent grin on his mouth made me sick and livid. I kept a continuous chant looping through my mind_. You will not punch your employer's business associate, you will not punch your employer's business associate, you will not punch your employer's business associate…_

The only thing that kept me from snapping was when my employer smacked said business associate in the back of the head, giving him a warning look. I really wanted to thank him for that, but chose to pretend like I hadn't seen it.

The car was there waiting, thank god or else I probably would have snapped. I watched the stragglers on the side walk, only a handful recognizing Hollywood as I held his door open for him. The other guy could get his own damn door, I could care less if he was ripped away by a horde of zombies.

They were both quiet as I easily made my way over to Elemental, and my mood continued to darken as the backseat cargo just watched me through the rear view mirror. I pulled up and tossed the keys to the valet as I made my way over to Hollywood and waited while he got out of the car. I fell in step beside him as the three of us walked to the entrance, and easily heard Tyler as he whispered to him.

"Seriously? You hired a girl for security? I get that she's hot, but come on."

_You will not punch your employer's business associate, there are too many witnesses…_

Hollywood answered him like I wasn't even there. "Shut the fuck up Tyler. I only hire the best, and she's the fucking best. I've seen her beat the shit out of men more than twice her size without breaking a sweat. And she doesn't draw unwanted attention."

That had to be the most amazing compliment I had ever received.

"Seriously?" He checked me out again, and Edward delivered a perfect punch to his arm. "OW! What the fuck Edward!"

"Stop being an asshole," he spat in a dark tone as he followed me into the restaurant. It was damn near impossible to hide my smile. He was slowly making it harder and harder to not like him.

"Reservation for Mr. Cullen and Mr. Volturi," I told the host.

"Ah, yes ma'am, I'm afraid that there was a slight mix up with the table-"

"Unacceptable. He will have the table I requested," I told him sternly.

"I'm sorry but-"

Oh, hell no. I did not have the patience today for this guy's fuck-up. "Shut up." I took out my phone, and just dialed Ben's number. He would have told me himself if there was a problem, I was certain of that.

"Really B, it's-"

"Shh," I said with a wave, turning away from them. I hated making phone calls in front of people but it was much faster than texting and waiting for a response.

"Stephanie? Hey, is there a problem?" It had been a while since I'd heard my LA name aloud.

"Hey Benjamin, this host greeter guy said there's a problem with the table."

"Shit, sorry hun, he's an idiot. I'll be right over."

"Thanks man, you know I appreciate it."

"My pleasure, seeing your clients go in and out of my restaurant is some pretty awesome publicity. Be right out," he said before hanging up. I put my phone away, and crossed my arms over my chest and stared down the host through my glasses while I waited. He came out very quickly, though it had been a couple years he hadn't changed much with his darkly tanned skin, black straight hair and bright blue eyes, and I tried not to let myself feel guilty when he whispered into his employee's ear and chastised him. He screwed up, but I'd really hate to have cost the man his job.

"I'm so sorry for my employee's lack of intelligence Mr. Cullen. Please, follow me to your table." Hollywood smiled, and I felt very pleased about the shocked look I had put on Tyler's face. Ben shot me a wink after he seated us himself at my requested table, and I was pleased he didn't try to chat me up while I was trying to be professional.

I wasn't too worried about Mac giving me away, even though I couldn't get his number to call and warn him in advance. I knew he would be surprised not only to see me, but to see me here with this particular person. He knew part of my story pretty well; it had made us both a lot of money after all. He knew the beginning, how it started off up until that one point where I changed the truth so it could sell. He knew enough of the truth of what had happened from dad, but I hadn't personally given him many details. He would know enough not to say anything without asking first. If he even recognized me anyways, it's been a few years.

I knew he would though, he was the closest thing to an Uncle I'd ever had, which was why I hadn't spoken to him in so long. I was feeling kind of blessed for this small, coincidental crossing of our paths to be honest.

He came in just as their drinks had arrived. He smiled brightly at Hollywood, pulling him into a hug. "Edward! Nice to see you!"

"You too, thanks for considering me," he replied as they both took their seats. He gave a cursory glance around the table, doing a double take when he passed over me before his eyes went wide.

_Be smart, Mac_.

"B?"

"Hey Mac," I told him with a small smile.

"You guys know each other?" Hollywood asked in surprise. That's when Marcus gave me the questioning look that clearly said; _"He doesn't know?"_

I shook my head slightly, and he gave me a small, understanding nod.

"Yeah, we go way back," he said jokingly, and I just rolled my eyes at him. All three of us go back, but he couldn't know. It wasn't safe.

_Not yet, anyways…_

That thought caught me by surprise, and I rejected it quickly. No, he could _never_ know.

I went into a state of listening but pretending I _wasn't_ listening to their work meeting as I carefully watched the crowds. The tables were very private though, especially this one, and I didn't find anyone snapping pictures or trying to spy on our party. The others at the table seemed mildly surprised that his biggest demand was for a body-double for the sex scene, and I chose to ignore the little voice in my head that was sort of happy about that. It was much more interesting listening to them go over the script and talk about certain parts Hollywood had questions about. I felt bad for the visible strain I could see on Mac's face as he tried not to speak to me though.

I kind of got the feeling as the meeting had started that he wasn't really interested in the role, was more curious about it, but by the time he finished he had this excited light in his eyes.

I really wanted to read that script, I had a bunch of pieces of a puzzle in my head now that I wanted to put together, but there were lines I wouldn't cross. I knew I'd feel horrible if I did something like that without permission, and I definitely wouldn't be asking him if I could read it.

The meeting ran longer than I'd expected, but with no other appointments today it didn't really seem to matter. They shook hands, and Marcus looked like he was going to try to hug me for a moment.

I felt horrible, remembering that the last time he had given me a hug, I'd had a panic attack and passed out. I wished I could make up for it now, but it just wasn't a wise thing to do.

He pulled a small notepad out of his pocket, and wrote something down quickly before tearing off a sheet of paper, folding it, and handing it to me with a wink. I was kind of touched that he was going through that small effort just to talk to me, and really hoped he had written down his e-mail or number at least. I smiled at him, and gave him a nod of thanks as I slipped the paper into my coat. He smiled back at me before waving to the others and leaving. I waited patiently while the others finished their drinks, and then we headed out also.

"So? Where to?" Tyler asked him excitedly. My stomach dropped, realizing it had been wishful thinking that I wouldn't get dragged into some sort of party or club.

"What do you mean?"

His slight cluelessness sometimes was really starting to grow on me.

"We need to celebrate man! This movie is going to be huge!"

"Thanks, but I'm just going to head back to the hotel."

"Dude, are you still beating yourself up about her? You need to just-"

I saw the anger flare to life in his eyes, and the intensity of it startled me. It seemed so out of character for him.

"Shut up Tyler. You don't know what you're fucking talking about," he spat. I knew this feeling all too well, how easy it was to get sucked into it, and how hard it was to push it back.

He had pushed it back for me.

I didn't really think about it, my body just sort of reacted. I reached out, and gently put my hand on his arm. He jumped slightly, but I felt him relax almost instantly as he took a deep breath. I felt myself relax simultaneously, and brought my hand back up to the wheel.

I don't know why I did it, but I didn't regret it.

His voice was much softer when he spoke again, and he sounded so tired. "Sorry Tyler, I just really don't have any more patience for this city. We'll celebrate with the others at the casting party, whenever they have it."

"It's okay man. Sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

"I know, just drop it."

His ex must have done _something_ to him to warrant such a reaction. It was none of my business, but I did wish there was something I could do to cheer him up. Harbouring that sort of grudge can be exhausting. I was happy to kick Tyler out of my car, feeling much more relaxed when it was just the two of us again.

Huh. Never thought I'd hear myself think that.

He was watching the houses pass by as we drove, seeming to pull into himself more and more as he remained quiet. I tried to remind myself again and again that it wasn't my business, that he hired me to work for him, not to be his friend, that I shouldn't even try because the whole fucking point of this thing was to distance myself _despite_ the proximity, be cold, boring, just fucking unpleasant so he'd stop whatever sort of interest he had in me, but I could only watch him suffer for so long.

"You okay Hollywood?"

He seemed surprised to hear my voice, and shot me a glance before looking away again quickly. "Yeah, sorry."

Yup. Horrible liar. "It's cool. Want to talk about it?"

"Why, you want to hear about it?" He snapped back. He was giving me a calculating look, and this bit of hostility was a side of him I'd have yet to see. It didn't bother me though, because really, I probably would have said the exact same thing.

And I also knew that sometimes, it _did_ help to talk about things. I chose my words carefully, I really didn't want him to think I was looking to sell him out to the tabloids. "I'm not into the whole gossip thing, and your business is your own. If you feel like talking, I'll listen though." I gave him a small smile, trying to let him know that I really didn't mind either way, before looking back at the road.

He was quiet for a few minutes, and I left him alone with his thoughts. I was kind of surprised when he just started talking.

"I was dating this actress named Tanya a few months ago." He paused for a moment. I had already known as much, and just nodded. I wouldn't try to push him into saying anything he didn't want to. My silence seemed to spur him on. "I wasn't in love with her or anything, she was hot, but she was a cold-hearted fucking bitch. Things had been okay at first, but after a while… I had been thinking about breaking things off, but then she told me she was pregnant. I was pissed at first, but once I calmed down and thought about it… I got really excited. The idea of being a father started to sound really awesome. So, I did the right thing, and asked her to marry me. She said yes. I woke up the next morning and she was gone, she disappeared for five fucking days. I thought she'd been kidnapped or killed, I had every cop in fucking LA looking for her, and then one morning she just fucking showed up. She wouldn't answer me when I asked her where she went. She wouldn't even let me speak. She told me the baby wasn't mine, and that she had an abortion. She didn't want to jeopardize her career or body, but said she'd still marry me. I kicked her out of my house, and put it on the market the next day. Packed a few bags and moved into a hotel because I couldn't stand to look at my own house. I hired people to pack up my shit and put it in storage, and as soon as I finished filming I moved back home. I had given up too much for her, which was no one's fault but my own, but being so close to having a family and just having it disappear, made me realize just how much I missed mine. So I moved back to New York to be closer to them. I couldn't stand the idea of staying in this hell hole for another second. Just being in this fucking town, I knew if I saw her, I'd probably fucking kill her."

He slumped in his seat when he finished, the energy just seeming to leak out of him. Not me though, I was seeing red. That a woman could do something like that to him… well, to anyone one really, but I was pissed she had done it to _him._ He really was a pretty decent guy, which is why he needed to stay the fuck away from me, and didn't deserve that. I didn't blame him for wanting to kill her, _I_ wanted to kill her. I wanted to egg her house, I wanted to set a bag of shit on fire on her door step, I wanted to TP her yard, but none of those were enough.

Most of all, I wanted to cheer him up though. Make him smile. I was slowly becoming addicted to that damn crooked smile.

I was never that great with comforting people with words. Words were mostly just that; words. They were empty. There was nothing I could really say besides agreeing that she was a bitch, but that would accomplish nothing.

I was a woman of action.

The light bulb went off over my head. Those three things might be insignificant on their own, but combined… that could be dramatic. I might just be able to get a smile out of him.

And I already knew where the bitch lived!

Decided, I pulled into the parking lot of the first grocery store I found. It was one of those large super centers that sold all sorts of crap. Perfect.

He looked at me questioningly when I parked, and I kept my game face on. It would be a surprise, I'm great with surprises.

Doing them. I hated surprises, personally.

"You coming in with me or do you want to sit in the car?"

"What?" I gave him a look, he heard me perfectly well, and he needed to learn that I did not like to repeat myself, or answer stupid questions. His mind took a second to catch up. "Oh, I guess I'll come in."

Good, I didn't feel safe leaving him alone in the car. I didn't trust this city.

He was quiet and stayed close, watching closely as I browsed through the aisles. I got the biggest package of toilet paper rolls that they had, choosing something more environmentally friendly since I did feel horrible that I'd be littering, along with some large paper bags. I went through the home ware section and found these large, rectangular wicker baskets that would be perfect, and some bungee cords before going over to the grocery section. I saw some awesome looking steaks and quickly decided that was what I wanted for dinner, a couple cartons of eggs, and this chocolate cheese cake that looked absolutely amazing. I knew what her house looked like, it had some simple wrought-iron gates in front of the driveway that I could use for my slingshots, but I'd have to find some way to keep them in place. When I passed the large grapefruits I smiled, thinking they'd be perfect and I could easily cut them down to size if they were too big. I didn't say a word throughout, or while I went through the checkouts. I was a little flattered when he tried to carry my bags for me, but I didn't want him to be held accountable for any of this if I somehow got caught.

Unlikely. Harry had my fucking back if anyone ran the plates on his car, I'd be gone before LAPD would take the time to get off their asses to trace it if they even bothered.

We got into the car, and I pulled over next to the first park I saw.

"What are you doing?"

_You'll find out soon enough._ "Can you wait here? I need fifteen minutes."

"Uh, yeah, sure." He was understandably confused, but didn't question me further. I popped the trunk, tied the bungee cords to each handle of each basket, opened each roll of toilet paper so they'd unfurl before putting them in a basket, then carefully filled the second basket with the eggs. I put all my garbage/ evidence into one bag before closing the trunk enough to not draw suspicion, and threw out my bag of trash into a can before quickly hunting the park for the last piece of the puzzle. Unfortunately for those living in the area, it took no time at all, and I wrapped the paper bags with a plastic one before tossing the bag on top of the eggs with my grapefruits. Even in four layers of bags, I didn't want it actually touching a part of the beautiful car, or rolling into the bags with my cake and steaks.

I hopped back into my seat with an excited smile. It's been much too long since I've done anything like this. I think the last prank I played was helping Emmett plant a tree in the middle of our rival town's football field. The look on their faces when they'd gone out for practice the next morning had been priceless.

"What the fuck are you doing?" He sounded more curious then annoyed.

"You'll see," I said ominously. I knew this was a horrible idea, it might even piss him off, but I really doubted it and now I was on a roll, pumped with adrenaline and excitement. I kind of wished Emmett was here.

I'd never personally been in this area before, but I was great with directions and Google maps street-view was a godsend. I had no problem finding the house, and when I pulled up in front of it and parked I checked for any sign of recognition in his eyes. He said he kicked her out and moved to NY, but he could know where she had moved to.

But he just continued to look confused. He didn't look like he was really minding my conspicuous behaviour, just going along with it patiently, and when I really thought about that, the amount of trust it would take me to do something like that… I was really touched as he just watched me patiently.

I smiled at him, not wanting to hide this in the slightest.

_Please don't hate me for this._

"I suggest you take out your camera, you might want to remember this."

I popped the trunk and jumped out quickly, leaving the car running as I ran over and checked the gate. It ran on an electric sensor, but had a very simple tumbler system for a manual key. I pulled a bobby pin out of my bun, bending the first third of the crimped end, and smoothly felt out the pins, pushing them in with a swift turning motion and freeing the latch. I opened it up to about two meters wide, almost three times the width of the baskets, and dashed to the trunk. I grabbed my stuff before closing it, quickly wedging the hard grape fruits under the gate doors, attached the cords, grabbed the paper bag and sprinted to the front door. The multiple layers would burn slower, and I moved her door matt so that it wouldn't catch fire. I lit it, bolted to the gate, then without a second of hesitation I launched the toilet paper first, because it was quieter, and then the eggs that would alert her just as well as ringing the doorbell before I jumped back into the BMW and shut my door.

"B, what the fuck-"

"Shut up, just watch," I told him, not wanting him to miss it.

As soon as he turned she came out the door and saw all the toilet paper still unrolling, then screamed when she noticed the bag that was just burning out and stomped on it, hopefully with very expensive shoes.

That melting laugh filled the cabin of the car, but I still heard the click go off on his camera and hit the gas, shooting away from the scene of the crime. He was laughing so hard that he couldn't seem to catch his breath, tears rolling out of the corner of his eye.

That made it more than worthwhile to me. I was grinning as I made my way back towards the hotel.

"Did that seriously just happen?" He gasped rhetorically. "That was fucking amazing! How did you even know where she lived?"

_Because I'm addicted into breaking into the police department's database._ "I have my ways." I really hoped he wasn't getting upset about my lack of answers but… I just couldn't. "Do you feel a bit better?"

He looked at me, smiling at me for a minute while he watched me. Once again, it really didn't make me all that uncomfortable anymore. "Yeah, I do actually. Thank you for that, you didn't need to do that for me."

"Don't mention it."

"What were the steaks and cheesecake for?"

What did he think they were for? Ugh, what was going on in that head of his? I kind of really wanted to understand his thought process. Those steaks were prime cuts. "Dinner. Did you really think I'd waste a fucking rib-eye on _her_?"

I saw the obviousness click in his eyes before he started laughing again, and felt very accomplished, and hungry, as I made the way back to the hotel.

. . . . . . . . . .

I shot upright in my bed, gasping for air as I panicked in the unfamiliar, dark room. It only took me seconds to remember I was in a hotel in LA, and I curled up in a ball, rocking as I tried to breathe, to stop trembling, to get the memory of that video out of my head.

"_There were a few discrepancies in your film Isabella, I thought I would address some of them in my own film. A sequel if you will…"_

I hated that voice, but it would forever be burned into my memory.

He had had it delivered to my classroom, only two weeks after I'd gone to Washington U with Emmett, a couple months after the movie had come out. The boy that brought it said it was my partner's half of a project we'd been working on.

I'd made the mistake of opening it during said class, and the image of Angela, tied up in the back of a car with tape over her mouth while she cried had made me scream and fall out of my chair, ripping the headphones out and letting the audio go on the speakers.

"_You two were always such a pretty pair, but her hair is much too long. You always look best with short hair Isabella,"_ he had cooed to Angela before taking a knife, grabbing her hair and slicing off the length of it at her shoulders.

Alec had shut it quickly, calling the police and his FBI team for me.

They hadn't made me watch the rest of the video, but that one minute I saw was one of the worst minutes of my life.

And one of the last moments of her life. Mrs. Webber never forgave me; it was her that told me about Victor's first 'message' to me. He'd sliced it in to Angela's arm.

"_To: Isabella. Happy Birthday.  
>Love, Victor."<em>

It was harder than I thought it would be, recovering from the nightmare without Zeus there for me. When I was able to stop crying I looked at the clock, seeing it was just a bit past three in the morning.

Well, an hour and a half was better than nothing.

I was still shaky after I washed my face repeatedly with ice cold water, then went out and sat on the balcony. It was at four that I got the call from Emmett. I debated for a minute on whether or not to answer, eyed the small ashtray containing the microphones, and tossed them over the balcony before answering.

"Hey," I said quietly, checking to make sure the living room was still deserted.

"Hey Bells, you're up."

"Well, you must have been expecting me to be if you were calling."

"What was it?"

I thought about shrugging it off, but I felt so… isolated here. I really wanted to just talk to someone. "It… The video, of Angela."

"It wasn't your fault Bella."

I sighed, closing my eyes as I leaned my head back. "Emmett… I know what you're trying to say, but my best friend died because she was _my best friend_, and because she _looked like me_. She died because he's obsessed _with me_. I know there's a difference but… do you get what I'm saying?"

He was quiet for a minute before answering. "Yeah, I get it Bells. _You_ didn't kill her though. I love you."

"I love you too," I whispered back. "How's my boy doing?"

"He misses you. I think he knew, he's been restless for a while, I heard him howling and came over."

My heart clenched. "Put me on speaker."

"You know you're no better than a crazy cat lady, right?"

"Are you saying you wouldn't do the same?"

Pause.

"You're on speaker," he said, making me laugh. My boy barked in the background.

"Hey baby! Mommy misses you, but she'll see you tonight!"

"My sister's a nutter…" I heard Emmett mumble quietly.

"Hey, you love my crazy. I keep your life interesting!"

"True, true." I heard him yawn. It was seven where he was now, so he was probably just getting up.

"Hey, go get your day started. I'm fine, really."

"I know you are, but I'm still here if you want to talk."

"I know. I'll see you later Em."

"See you soon Bells."

I sat outside for another half hour before getting changed and going for a run. I put up the same slightly-crumpled note from yesterday, and once again I came back before it seemed like he'd woken up, and stuffed it in my pocket after locking the door and grabbing a shower. I found myself wondering what his schedule was like back in NY, for him to be able to sleep so well at this time.

It was while I was getting dressed that the notification sound went off on my phone, and I saw it was from the account set up to alert me if there were any hits on Victor's description. The familiar sense of hope and dread filled me as I went over the police report. Large man, approx. 6'1 and late twenties to early thirties with curly, dark red hair. Robbed a convenience store in… Clifton?

Fuck, that was just outside NY.

Fuck fuck fuck.

I needed to make calls, _now_. Hollywood was in the shower, he might hear me from my room but I'd be fine in the living room. I went over quickly and stared at my phone.

Emmett or proof?

_Emmett._

And… no answer. God, what was he doing? I left a message.

"I got a possible hit in Clifton, don't leave the building. I'll get back to you when I know more."

Then I dialed Paul.

"Mmm… Hello?" He mumbled.

"Paul."

I heard something get knocked over. "Oh, uhm, hey. What can I do for you?"

"There was a robbery at a convenience store in Clifton yesterday, I want the surveillance footage the police would have taken for evidence."

"Shit, that's kind of out of my jurisdiction. What is this about?"

"He matched a description of someone I'm looking for, I need to verify."

"I'd have to make a lot of calls, it won't be easy, and it's kind of early…"

Oh, looks like someone finally found his voice and wants to use it. Bad fucking time to start.

"I don't fucking care how hard it is, get me that fucking footage Paul."

"If you're so sure it's him why do you need it so fast?"

Because he's too close to Emmett. "Because I want to fucking see it for myself! Get it done, you owe me and you fucking know it." I hung up before he could say another word, whipping my phone at the opposite couch. Today was a bad fucking day to test me. I didn't feel guilty, because he _did_ owe me. He owed me three-hundred thousand dollars, to be specific. If I hadn't saved his ass from those loan sharks, he probably wouldn't have his legs anymore.

Three-hundred K was a decent price to own an NYPD cop though. He was a shitty cop, ethically speaking, but he made my life easier.

"Everything okay?" A hesitant voice asked me.

Holy fuck, I didn't even hear the door, what was wrong with me today?

Angela, Emmett, Victor, Paul, and now this… _Just breathe, breathe…_

"Fucking dandy," I said, my voice not coming out nearly as calm as I'd aimed for. _Get your shit under control, you're working…_ I took a deep, long breath before speaking again. "Sorry. I didn't hear you come out. You shouldn't have heard that."

"I don't mind," he said easily, dropping onto the other couch and tossing my phone back on mine unperturbed. "You take your job too seriously B, you can make fucking phone calls, I don't care."

But _I_ do. Little slips like that lead to bigger ones, and I can't risk that.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

To my credit, I didn't snap at him. "No. But thanks."

He watched me for a minute, and his brow furrowed before he spoke again. "Why do you always wear your hair up?"

My moment to stare. That was random. "Huh?" _Wow, eloquent._

"You always have your hair up in that damn bun. Why don't you ever wear it down?"

Oh, well, I suppose that was a fair question. "It's harder to grab onto like this. Professional hazard."

"Oh, okay."

He sounded kind of disappointed, and I felt myself starting to smile as I teased him. "What, you don't like my hair?"

His answer was immediate. "I didn't say that, but I know you'd look even more fucking gorgeous if you wore it down."

If I had been drinking something, I would have spat it out and choked on it while I laughed. God, those compliments got to me for many reasons; the intensity of his eyes, the sincerity in his voice, the heat in his expression…

It was easier to laugh it off as a joke then to let myself believe he was being serious.

"Man, you're good Hollywood, I have to give you that." I fled the room quickly, trying to shake the nerves out of my mind as I went and packed up my bag. The thing was though… I knew he had been genuine in his compliment, and I felt horrible about blowing it off like that but… I just couldn't.

So when I finished packing and brought my small suitcase over to the door I just acted as though nothing had happened. I packed up my laptop too, leaving it with my other bag, and checked my watch.

"We should head out within the next ten minutes, are you packed?"

"Almost, I'll just take a minute," he said in a slightly irritated tone, heading over to his room without making eye contact. I checked the balcony, the living room, and then the kitchen to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything, stopping that at the fridge.

And there was a whole fucking chocolate cheesecake in there.

"Fuck, I forgot all about you," I whispered, taking it out and setting it reverently on the counter. There was no way I could take this on the plane, and we were leaving the room and he was most likely going to have brunch downstairs. I did the only rational thing, and popped off the lid, scooping up a bunch with my fingers and shoveling it into my mouth.

I moaned. _Oh, god_, was it ever amazing. I sucked the chocolate off of each of my fingers and took some more.

I heard a really weird noise from behind me, and turned around to see Hollywood standing in the doorway behind me. I straightened up quickly, nodding him over. We had two minutes and I needed reinforcements. "Dude, this cheesecake is fucking amazing, you have to try it. I completely forgot about it last night."

He came over and joined me, and I worried for a minute that he might be some sort of germaphobe like Howie Mandel, but he dug right in with a long index finger, scooped some up, and sucked it off said finger.

"Fuck."

I had to look away when I felt my face heat up, and concentrated on the chocolate amazingness. "I know right?"

I could have cried when my watch beeped, but I made myself walk away and we brought our bags down to the lobby. One of the bellhops took our suitcases to the car for us when I returned the room key, and we went over and met his agent in the restaurant.

I fought the urge to fidget when I noticed that Tyler was sitting at a table almost in the center of the room, but when we walked over Hollywood didn't sit down. He waved over a waitress.

Her face paled when she walked over and noticed who he was.

"Hey there," he said with a bright smile. She looked like she was going to pass out, it was kind of hilarious.

"H-hi. You're Edward Cullen." Okay, then I had to bite my lip to physically stop myself from laughing. His smile got impossibly bigger and he held out his hand.

"Yes, I am. And…" he looked down politely at her name tag. "Mandy is it? It's really nice to meet you." She just stared, but he continued on easily. "Would you mind if we took that corner table over there? It's just my agent, my personal security and I right now, but we have one more coming to join us." He leaned in and whispered a little loudly. "Less people would be able to take pictures, and it's not easy to eat when you're being photographed," he laughed.

Her laugh came out as more of a choking sound, but she was quick to help and immediately led us over to the corner table. It was set up for four, and Hollywood sat himself down in the seat facing the corner.

It was hard not to smile as I sat down in the corner seat. This was perfect.

Did he do that for me? It wouldn't be too crazy of a speculation for him to have noticed my preference. Despite my dislike for restaurants, this was the third time I had been to one with him, and both other times I sat in the corner seat. He made no show about it though, didn't smile or wink at me. Maybe what he told her had been true?

Oh, that poor girl. He had practically brainwashed her, and it looked like it took no effort at all for him. That was a pretty impressive talent, and if that was the usual reaction he got from women, it was hard to imagine why I had never seen him with one, never even seen him hit on another woman.

Yeah, _another woman_… the only person I've ever seen him hit on or even check out was me.

God damn it.

To distract myself I checked my phone, and replied to Emmett's message that I still hadn't gotten my confirmation. Once I saw the footage I would know, and I'd forward it to him and Alec.

I better hear something before I got on that plane.

Mac's assistant joined us shortly after, and the three of them ordered brunch. Hollywood tried to persuade me twice to order something, and to be honest I _was_ hungry, but eating would distract me too much from my job.

Anyone that knew me well knew that the best way to distract me was with food.

I was _so_ making waffles when I got home, like a dozen of them. They smelt soooo good…

My phone buzzed, and I looked down expecting another text from Emmett, and my eyes almost popped open when I saw that it was from Paul, and had a video attachment.

**Look, I'm really sorry about this morning, I was practically talking in my sleep. And sorry this took so long, the evidence hadn't been submitted yet and I had to hunt down whose desk it was on. Let me know if there's anything else I can do.**

I opened the video immediately, and I almost stopped breathing. I didn't hesitate on forwarding it to both Emmett and Alec.

**Video footage, convenience robbery in Clifton, video is from yesterday. Emmett, keep Rose and Zeus inside, I'm making my flight back, but **_**I'll Be Safe**_** getting home.**

I had a gun in my truck, and I knew my truck was safe because I would have gotten an alert on my phone if anyone so much as breathed on it.

"You okay B?"

I looked up, and Hollywood was looking at me worriedly. Shit, I needed to get my act together, and I put my phone away. Damn it, could this be happening at a worse time?

"Yeah." That was an answer for both him and myself. It can always be worse. We don't know for sure he knows where we are, he could just had messed up there by accident.

Doubtful.

The first time in years that he'd been within my reach, and I'd been in fucking LA.

It could have happened today. I could have found him and ended him, but I'd been in another fucking state.

Emmett and Alec would be able to go farther with the information I gave them than I could at the moment, and I concentrated on keeping Hollywood from being trampled by women from the hotel restaurant to the airport. I tried to stay as calm and quiet as possible the entire time, not wanting to snap and say something I'd regret, and checked my messages when we got to our seats and I didn't have to constantly watch my surroundings anymore.

**We're safe, we'll be waiting at home for you. Working with Alec. Be careful.**

**Confirmed, team has been dispatched to sweep. Any signs of exposure?**

I replied to Alec's quickly.

**Not yet, on watch. About to fly home from business trip, won't be able to update for 6-7 hours.**

I reluctantly turned off my phone. A lot could happen in six or seven hours, but there wasn't anything I could do right now. But when the plane took off the possibilities spun around in my mind and I got pulled deeper and deeper into them. I needed to be there to protect them. I _had_ to be. I couldn't lose anyone else.

"Okay, seriously, I'm sorry for prying again, but what's up with you today? What happened on your phone?"

I heard him, but I didn't know how to reply to him. I obviously couldn't tell him, but I so badly wanted to say _something_. Anything. Keeping it locked in my head was driving me insane.

"There's someone that I've been looking for, for a while. One of my contacts said they saw someone matching his description outside of New York. I just got the surveillance footage, and it turns out it _was_ him."

"Why were you looking for him?" No, see? Bad fucking idea. Answering one question always just leads to another. I couldn't do it. I was too on edge already, and my voice came out harsher than necessary.

"Sorry Inquisitor, I don't feel like playing twenty-fucking-questions."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to push," he said quietly. I let out a guilty sigh, wishing I had a better filter between my mind and my mouth.

"Don't worry about it."

My guilt just got worse the closer we got to NY. We'd been getting along pretty well, much better than I'd expected, much better than I should have_ let_ happen really, and now I really didn't want to leave things off like this. He was obviously uncomfortable too, and I wondered if this had finally done it for him. He didn't speak to me again during the flight, or even the entire trip to my truck. I had to concentrate on my surroundings, but I didn't see any sign of Victor.

I didn't know what to say, or even if there was anything I could say. It was probably better this way though, this was the big reason for doing this, trying to make him lose interest, and I started to resign myself to that.

"Hey B?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah?" There was a long pause.

"Do you think we could like, hang out some time?"

"Why?" I blurted out quickly. _What's wrong with you? He's offering you an opportunity to fix this, just take it!_

I really did want to know though. I _needed_ to know.

"What do you mean?"

"Why do you want to hang out with me Hollywood? I can tell you right now that I'm not going to sleep with you." His mouth actually popped open, like what I'd said was the most unthinkable thing in the world. It was the blunt truth though. He composed his face quickly, and looked so honest when he answered me.

"I think you're cool. I bet you'd be even more fun to hang out with if you weren't working."

Why did he always say such perfect things? I badly wanted to take him up on his offer, but what good could come out of this? It was just trouble waiting to happen.

I couldn't bring myself to say no either though.

"I'll think about it."

"Okay," he said back casually. I pulled up in front of his building shortly after, watching the street carefully as I unlocked the tailgate and let him take out his bag. He paused, watching me for a moment before speaking. "I'm going to come by the club tomorrow, try not to ignore me," he said playfully.

"I'll stop ignoring you if you stop staring at me all the time and trying to distract me," I replied. There was a reason I stayed away from him, many actually, one of them being that I didn't want him hitting on me. He looked taken aback by my words, but we were both very much aware that they were true.

"I see everything in that bar Hollywood. Don't ever forget that."

I hoped I wasn't lying, there was a chance I might not be in this city anymore by tomorrow. With a pit in my stomach I made my way home, watching carefully to make sure I wasn't being followed.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Reviews are awesome, and thank you to those who have left them!**

**Can you open a locked door with a Q-tip? It only works on those simple ones, the ones where you push in and turn to lock? Break the end off of a cotton swab and push it in straight through the hole in the door knob as you turn. Go give it a try ;) My mom showed me that when I was like eight, my little brothers would sneak into my room, lock themselves in and mess with my stuff.  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight characters. I own what I've done with them.**

**Violence children. Heed that M rating.**

. . . . . . . . . .

I was practically tackled when I walked into my apartment, but by the only being that was permitted to do so. I hugged my boy tightly, letting him cover my face in doggy kisses.

"Mommy missed you so much baby boy! Were you good for your uncle?"

"He's always been an oddly behaved dog," Emmett mused, pulling me up and crushing me with a hug. "Thank god you're okay. You are okay right? How did it go? I'll drive over there right now if he-"

"Hey," I said, shutting him up. "My trip was fine, went by without incident until I got the lead. I'm sorry that I told you that way, but I couldn't risk Alice's brother asking questions."

"No no, I get it, it's okay. Alec said they launched a sweep-"

"Yeah, he alerted me too. For now, it'll probably be safest to just lay low. Are you guys okay staying next door again tonight?"

"It isn't a problem, we aren't going anywhere," he said sternly, making me smile.

"Where's Rose?"

He nodded over to my security monitors, and I saw her down by the front desk. "We ordered some pizzas, she's just waiting." I shifted uncomfortably, the urge to go down there and pull her back up to the safety of my floor was painful. "She's fine, we're watching her, and you know neither of us should be seen down there until we get some news. She knows this too." Just then we saw her wave to someone, and watched as the delivery guy came into view. She was coming through the door three minutes later. She beamed when she saw me, dropping the pizzas on the counter before I pulled her into a tight hug.

"And how is my future sister-in-law doing?" I asked in a teasing voice. She laughed and smacked me.

"I'm fine, but how are you? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I looked at them both. "We all know that Victor lacks in …restraint. If he knew I was here, I'm sure he would have tried to contact me before he let himself be seen."

"But he was so close," Rose argued.

"Yes, too close," I agreed, opening up my bags and taking out my phone and laptop before setting them up with my computers. "Anyone that knows me knows I'm a private person. If someone had gone snooping, I'd know. There haven't been any hits in the city, the FBI and local police are on high alert." I gave them both a reassuring smile, before walking over to my bookcase and taking out a leather-bound philosophy book. "We'll hear something soon."

I took my S&W out of the book and started cleaning it while the others started eating. Neither of them said anything as they ate, and as soon as I was satisfied I loaded my gun, putting the safety on before digging out my holster, strapping it on my hip and making myself a plate.

I was glad he over ordered, I ate an entire pizza.

The night was filled with video surveillance. My building, Emmett and Rose's building, the gym and the club. I had guys even staking out Alice and Jasper's apartments. Nothing suspicious happened though.

It wasn't until four the next morning that Alec called me. I was already up.

"Hey Alec, what have you got?"

"We've combed the town and all of its surrounding areas. We didn't catch him, but I just got some footage of him getting on a train and going west."

That set me on edge. "He isn't usually this sloppy. Do you think it's a trick?"

"No, I think we just got really, really close and he was doing everything that he could to get away. We practically had him cornered. I'm sorry."

"It's okay Alec. Thank you."

"We're still looking, I've got units waiting at train stations and we're still on high alert, but you guys are safe."

"Thank you Alec. I'll be changing numbers again soon, so I'll be contacting you in a few days."

"Okay. You guys stay safe," he said gently.

I didn't want to wake up Emmett and Rose, so I just sent them a text message. I was still too on edge to sleep, my stomach queasy and my nerves fried, so I rolled myself a little joint, made myself a smoothie and went up to the roof with Zeus. He curled up on the ground underneath my hammock and we watched the sun rise together.

. . . . . . . . . .

Emmett and Rose were in my kitchen making breakfast when I came back down. Emmett frowned when he saw the evidence of my lack of sleep, but thankfully said nothing.

Rose was much cheerier.

"So! Now that things are a-go again," she said, pulling me over to the couch, "Bella, I have something important to ask you."

I didn't like the sound of that. "Shoot."

"Will you be my maid of honor?"

I just gaped at her for a couple minutes, at a loss for words. "Rose, I'm flattered, no, honoured that you would ask me, but…"

"No, I know what you're going to say Bella, but I don't care. I don't need a big party or a fancy reception, the only thing that matters to me is that you're there with us."

I saw the sincerity in her eyes, and it put a big lump in my throat. She was serious.

Rose deserved a big fancy wedding, to be spoiled like a princess, and I would hate myself for taking that away from her. I crossed my arms, leaning back against the couch to think.

"Bella-"

"I'm not saying no Rose, just give me a minute to think," I said, and she beamed and waited impatiently while I thought.

We could do a reception, no,_ I_ could do a reception. It would be easy to deck out the roof, and the charity event I'd been to last spring in central park gave me ideas of covering all the trees with tiny white lights, and draping them over to give the illusion of stars. I could accommodate about a sixty people on the roof, Sam would probably jump at the chance to work such a big party, it could be the push his new security company really needed. It would take a while to do security checks on that many people, but it was possible.

"Rose, I would love to be your maid of honour," I told her, and her eyes teared up slightly. "I have two questions though, for both of you." Emmett handed us both a plate, then sat down with us on my sectional.

"Shoot," they both said.

"First, how do you feel about marrying into our "Tanner" family, just for show to the party? Your license can have our real name on it of course."

"I don't mind at all," Rose answered quickly. "But Bella, we really don't need to-"

I cut her off. "And how comfortable would you feel with letting me plan your ceremony?"

They both stared at me.

"Come now, don't all answer at the same time," I said, taking a bite of my toast.

"What do you mean by plan the ceremony?" Emmett asked.

"I don't want you guys to get married in secret because of me, you both deserve so much more," I said, and kept talking before they could interrupt. "So, if you guys are up for it, I can accommodate about sixty people on the roof, and we could use it for the ceremony. I have a safe security contractor to use, and we'd have to confiscate phones to avoid pictures of Emmett or I, and we can just say that I flew in for the wedding. If we're using our fake names, and no one can take any pictures, it should be doable."

I let them think about it while I ate my breakfast.

"Will it be safe?" Rose asked quietly, a couple minutes later.

"I'll _make_ it safe."

"People will know where you live."

"No one beside the three of us and Sam will know this is my building."

"Edward will find out that you're Emmett's brother."

I sighed. "Alice and Jasper are together, and I see it staying that way. She already knows, so he'll find out eventually." I looked at them both. "Though I would like to hold off on that as long as possible," I added with a bit of a smile. "Besides, he won't know anything besides that. He still won't know my real name or where I live, I can handle him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! I'm sure!" I gave her a look. "I can see that you want this, just say yes already so I can start planning."

"Yes!" She laughed loudly, getting eggs all over her t-shirt when she leaned over to hug me.

The eggs were pretty bad, so I didn't complain.

"So, when do you guys want to do this?"

"As soon as possible!" Emmett declared, ripping Rose off of me and kissing her dramatically.

"Well, the first week of October is the best for the fall colours on my roof. It'd look gorgeous with all of the bright reds, yellows and oranges up there, and will still be fairly warm." The two of them looked at each other and nodded quickly. "Perfect. Well, get started on your guest lists and get them back to me," I said easily.

"You're really sure? You don't need to do this for us Bella."

"Rose, if you keep asking me I'll take it back," I teased, bringing my plate back to the kitchen and pouring a glass of water.

"Okay okay, but is it okay if I tell Alice tonight at the club? I'm going to ask her to be my other bride's maid."

"And I gotta ask Jasper and Garrett," Emmett added.

"Sure, but until I have the details straightened out don't say anything about the location or my involvement," I took out my phone and opened up my calendar. "What day of the week works best for you guys?"

"Friday, I guess. It would make it easier for guests."

"Okay, October fourth?"

"Sounds good," they both said excitedly.

"Okay, well you can give them that date to plan around, but for invitations, I think it would be best to do them without a paper trail, just in case. You can give out the date, and maybe we can do something like a mass text message to send the invites?"

"Oh! That sounds exciting," Rose exclaimed. "We can tell them it will be in NY, but text them all the address the day of." She was grinning like a fool, and I was happy that she didn't seem to be discouraged by all of the work-arounds this was going to take.

. . . . . . . . . .

I was exhausted. I spent most of the day on the couch, still unable to sleep, and while browsing for a movie through my Netflix I clicked on The Walking Dead, thinking it was a zombie movie.

But it was something much, much better. I binged and watched the entire first season, and when I finished I went for a run with Zeus before getting ready for work.

I'm glad I went in a little early, I had a shit-ton of e-mails to go through, and Rose had some problems with the program for the payroll that took forever to fix before I started to go through some more resumes that had been dropped off. I transferred the information onto my computer and e-mailed it to myself to go through and sort later. By the time the club opened and I went over to my spot, the endorphins from my earlier run had worn off.

I looked at my watch. Eight O'clock. Only eight hours left to go. I wasn't going to let that drag me down though. Today was a good day, Victor isn't in the area, and Rose and Emmett are getting married. I'm planning a wedding.

… And a bachelorette party! Holy fuck, how could I forget?

I was definitely going to need Alice's help with that. There was no way I'd be able to hire male strippers by myself without giving myself some sort of panic-induced heart attack.

Emmett's would be easier, if Jasper wasn't up to the task that was.

... Yeah, I'll just give Jasper a list of numbers he can contact.

And a pre-paid credit card to help out too.

Alice, her brother, and Jasper all came in at the same time. As per our agreement, I didn't ignore him when he came in, but I didn't want to lead him on either, so I settled on giving him a visible nod.

Alice just ran right over as usual, and when she told me she had missed me and gave me a hug, I really didn't mind all that much. It was kind of nice.

"I missed you too," I told her honestly. "Sorry I was out of touch for so long. Are things going well with Jasper?"

"Don't worry, I know you were working, defending my brother from his rabid fans. And things are going _amazing_ with Jasper."

"I thought they might," I said wryly, making her laugh.

"Well, I'll let you get back to work, but we should have lunch tomorrow."

"Sounds perfect, Rose is going to want to come along. We all have a lot to talk about."

"What do you mean?"

I winked at her. "You'll find out later," I said, turning her around and shooing her away so I could get to work.

Things were quiet though, so when Rose gave me a quick look I decided to go over to their table and watch them share the news. Emmett shouted it out the second I stopped.

"We're getting married!"

Alice screamed.

"Oh my god! Seriously? When did you ask her? Why am I only hearing about this _now!?_" Thankfully Jasper calmed her down before she could have a seizure.

"On Monday, we just wanted to wait until you guys were all together before we told any of you."

"_She_ knew," Hollywood said, looking at me with a curious grin.

Shit, watch your words guys, I'm not ready for this yet.

"Of course she did, I knew better than to try and pick out a ring by myself," Emmett said, smiling at me. His eyes went wide a second later when he realized what he'd just done. I tried to just play it off like it was a joke, and took a second to roll my eyes at him before leaving to peel a guy off the bar.

So once again, I spent a night on the sidelines, watching while my brother and future sister-in-law celebrated their news with their friends. Living like a ghost.

But one person saw me, was always watching, checking on me, and it made it just a little bit easier. I kind of wished I could tell him just how much it meant to me tonight, but obviously I couldn't. I tried to give him a smile instead, and my fear that it wasn't convincing was affirmed when he actually spat out his drink.

I choked on a laugh, and that one little moment got me through the rest of the slow evening, trying to hide a smile the entire time.

. . .

_Finally._ Four O'clock. I kind of wish I'd taken my truck, I could barely keep my eyes open.

The club was all cleared out, staff and all, but the party was still going at Rose's table. I went over and said goodbye to everyone, sparing a small smile for Hollywood before heading out. I grabbed my coat and helmet from my office, waiting until I got out of the warm stairwell before putting it on.

I was digging in my pocket for my keys when I opened up the door, and didn't see his fist until half a second before it connected with my jaw.

My reaction was instant, I gripped onto the arm that had hit me, pulling the assailant forward while connecting my knee with his groin.

He wasn't alone though, and the second the door had closed behind me and the man I hit grunted, someone grabbed onto my left shoulder, and I spun and punched him in the face at the same time that the other man jumped at me, getting a good shot to my ribs. The other man's hand slid from my shoulder to my upper arm, and tightened his grip at the same time I tried to yank my arm away from him, and the other man's knee connected with my stomach.

His hand covered my scream when my shoulder dislocated, and when I bit him his arm went tight around my neck. I swung at him with my right arm, but it had little effect before he was able to pin it by my side.

Leftie was being fucking useless right now. God damn it.

As I tried to quickly settle my breath, to calm down and think, the other man started laughing and I finally saw his face.

Fucking hell.

"Surprised? I'm glad," James said pleasantly, pulling a knife out of his pocket and flipping it open.

"I'm going to fucking kill you, and whoever your lackey is." I sneered at him. "Well, at least you're a quick learner, knowing you'd need backup to sneak up on a girl in an alley at four in the morning."

The pissed off look on his face was worth the shot to my jaw.

_Keep them talking, wait for your chance._

James stepped forward and when he was close enough I took it, using the second man's hold on me to support myself as lifted off the ground and swung at him with my legs. I got a good shot to his ribs, but nothing else, the guy kept his hold on me.

"Oh, you're going to fucking regret that," he spat, stepping forward and taunting me with that fucking knife. He walked forward again, dodging me while I flailed my legs and slid his hands over me.

_No, you're going to get through this. He can't keep this fucking hold._

I'm going to fucking kill him.

Both of them.

"Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you," he cooed. "I just want to play. I'm not going to be gentle though, this is going to fucking hurt, and I'm going to take my fucking time. You deserve every fucking second of it."

I spat in his face.

He ripped through my blouse with the knife, and I started thrashing around as hard as I could, trying to make him drop me. James was watching me with and amused smile, trailing the tip of his knife slowly down my torso. I saw a flash of doubt pass over his face when my struggling made the knife cut deeper into my stomach. I could feel the blood running down my skin, but I didn't stop. I'd rather be gutted like a fish than feel him touching me.

_It's going to be okay, it's going to be okay… _

Then something caught the corner of my eye, someone barreling down the alley, grabbing a bottle in one swift movement from the ground.

And Edward broke it over James' head before he even noticed he was there, knocking him out.

Goon number two's hold faltered.

_My turn_. I twisted, and he dropped me, but I was expecting it and landed easily, turning and tackling him to the ground. I rolled him onto his back with a hard kick to the ribs, and my vision was hazy and red as I went for his face.

Realizing I only had one arm to hurt him with just urged me on, and I hit him, and hit him, and just kept hitting him. James' hand touching me, Victor's hands… I'd kill every last fucking one of them.

But someone peeled me off of him. _No!_ _"Let me go! I'm going to fucking kill them!"_ I yelled, thrashing around and trying to escape the strong arms that were wrapped around me in a vice-like hug.

"_I know you are! I'm trying to keep you out of prison! Shut the fuck up and look at me B!"_

I knew he was there, but I couldn't see him, all I saw was Victor, all I felt were his hands, the pain that just got worse when he just kept going, tearing, and they almost…

"B? Can you hear me? Are you alright?"

I need to kill them, they deserve to die, they can't hurt anyone else, it will all be my fault…

A gentle touch smoothing over my bottom lip was what finally pulled me out of it, like a light going off. Suddenly, Hollywood was holding me, so close, _too fucking close_, looking down at me with terrified, angry and concerned eyes, one of his hands cupping the side of my face, the other one wrapped around me and holding me.

What the fuck?

I pushed him away, hard, with my one good arm as I tried to organize my thoughts. I looked down at the two unconscious men, feeling the anger roll through me in furious waves. I recognized the second one, his lackey, as this guy Laurent that had come to the club a few times with him.

No, I wouldn't kill them. There was only one person who I'd become an official murderer for, and these insects weren't even in his league.

I'd call Paul. He'd recognize James and deal with him. There were other ways I could destroy James, there were fates worse than death.

First things first, I needed to fix my fucking arm. It's not the first time I'd dislocated it, but it had never felt quite like this before. It was sitting really odd, but I should be able to just pop it back in place. It'll catch.

Resigned, and pissed, I turned to my rescuer. He was just staring at me.

I really didn't want to set it myself, and as much as I didn't want to ask him for help either, I knew it was the smarter thing to do.

"Take my arm."

"What?"

"Take my fucking arm. Put both of your hands on my wrist, tight." I didn't have patience right now, I was a hair away from the edge of taking James' knife and lodging it into his throat.

"I don't think I can-"

Ugh! Fuck, I don't need his help. Besides, I don't want him fucking touching me anyways. Thinking quickly, I went over to my bike, gently set my arm on the seat, and slowly knelt down to the ground to imitate someone lifting it while ignoring Mr. Squeamish's protests. He had his chance to help.

Fuck, fuckfuckfuck, holy fucking shit that hurt. I moved it, and was tempted to cry out in frustration alone when I realized it hadn't set right. I could move it though, and that was good enough for now. I grabbed some zip-ties from my side bag, and tied up their hands before picking up my dropped coat and fishing out my phone to call Paul.

Fuck, I was bleeding all over the place. Probably needed fucking stitches. Fuck!

"Hey, I need you by the club. Now."

"What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"These two assholes attacked some girl in the alley beside my building, found them when I was grabbing the bike. They're unconscious, I need you to come get them."

"Are you hurt?" I didn't answer that. "Fuck. I'll be right there, and I'll take care of them. You hear me? _I'll take care of them_."

"Thanks."

"Should I bring a paramedic with me? Do you need any medical attention?"

"No, I'm leaving, they're out cold though."

"I'll be there myself in ten to take care of it."

"Thanks man."

I hung up then before he could ask another question about my well-being. Three was way past my limit, I wasn't letting another fucking person touch me. I caught Edward's movement quickly, my body and mind both still on high alert, and watched as he kicked over the guy he had knocked out.

His face darkened drastically, his fists clenching when he quickly recognized James. I saw his mind spinning, realizing what this had been all about.

"Don't say a fucking word to Alice."

I saw that he understood when he looked over at me. Alice had many strengths, but she was a fragile soul. If she knew that James had come back for revenge on me, for bringing him down for her, she'd blame herself. I couldn't let that happen. I picked up my helmet, jacket, bag and keys from the ground, not at all enjoying the burning sensation on my stomach or how dizzy I felt.

I knew I must look horrible, my shirt ripped open, bleeding, and I don't even want to know what my face looked like, but I didn't falter under his gaze. Fidgeting or wrapping my arms around myself like I so desperately wanted to would look so weak. I quickly turned around to go clean myself up in my office.

He immediately followed.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"Listen Gladiator, I don't need you to-"

"I doubt even _you_ could beat me up right now B. I'm not leaving you. Deal with it," he said, cutting me off and staring me down seriously.

He was right, as much as I detested admitting it.

_And he just saved your ass, and you haven't even thanked him._

I turned around, opened the door, and didn't stop him as he followed me inside. Taking a quick look down at the mess that was my stomach, I grabbed an unopened bottle of vodka from the bar before walking over to my office. My door closed on its own after he walked in after me, and I put the bottle down on my desk and dug out my first aid kit while he sat down on my couch as I sat in my chair.

"Are you okay?"

_Of course not._ "Yes."

I chose to just pretend he wasn't there, apparently he wasn't going anywhere and it wasn't like I was ashamed of my body. I took great care of myself, I worked out, but I can safely say no one has ever seen me with my shirt off.

No, that wasn't true. There was Rory, but he was gay and an artist with a tattoo gun. It was completely different, but it made it easier when I pulled my ruined shirt off.

_Enjoy the show while it lasts, you'll never see this again_, I thought as I pulled off my belt. I was not going to cry in front of him. No fucking way.

I hated vodka, but I took a deep swig of it, concentrating on the burn it left in my throat as I bit onto my belt and poured it over my stomach.

Damn it. That was deep, but I could get away without actual stitches, thank god. I slid on some sterile gloves and finished cleaning the wound and surrounding area, applied some adhesive, temporary stitches, and then tried to get myself to stop fucking bleeding so I could use the damn surgical cement to seal it.

"B, just let me take you to the hospital, this can't be-"

"I don't do hospitals, no fucking doctor is touching me." He looked away and was silent, and I managed to apply the shit properly with my trembling hands, two coats, and put a bandage over it when it dried anyways, just in case. I pulled out a clean t-shirt from my desk after cleaning myself off. He was still looking away, and I changed my pants too without getting up from my desk. He looked when I stood up, ready to get the fuck out of here, but I wobbled right by the couch and he went to help. I sat down on my own instead, barely noticing the sting it caused on my stomach over the dizziness in my head. Okay, I can't drive right now.

"Please let me take you to the hospital," he said quietly, his voice thick. The concern in his voice put a weight on my chest. I just couldn't handle a doctor after everything that had happened in the past few days. I couldn't.

"No. There's nothing they can do that I didn't already do. I'm not letting some fucking stranger touch me." Shit, my voice sounded too weak.

I was so weak today. How could I have let two amateurs jump me outside of my own damn building? If he hadn't come…

"How are you feeling?"

I could barely hear him, and used the last bit of my energy to look over at him and say what I needed to.

"Thank you. Not only for helping, but… if you hadn't stopped me, I would have killed them."

He gave me a gentle smile. I really liked his smile… "Don't mention it." I tried to smile back at him, but I just couldn't keep my eyes open any longer, and finally gave into the exhaustion.

. . . …. . . .

I didn't know where I was at first. It felt like the ground was moving, going over bumps…

Driving…

Suddenly I knew exactly where I was. I was in a van. I was in _his_ van.

And then it came to a stop.

_No, no no no, wake up! Wake up now!_

The door flew open, and there he was, standing over me. I couldn't move, the tape was on my arms. I could hardly breathe, crying with the duct tape on my mouth.

I tried to push myself away with my legs, and he just laughed, grabbing onto my ankle and pulling me towards him.

_Please please please wake up. This isn't real, it isn't real._

"We've had to wait for so long, but we can be together now Isabella. Finally…"

I screamed, but barely made a sound against the thick tape as he ran his hands along my body, playing with my dress and touching me everywhere. Then there was the sharp, burning pain, and it just got worse and worse as he kept on going. His hand was gripping my throat, I couldn't breathe, there wasn't any air… why couldn't I just die already…

WAKE UP!

. . . …. . . .

I was in the dark again, and his hand was on me, shaking me, but my hands were free now, and I gripped onto his wrist, twisting it in a painful direction.

And Edward fell to his knees with a painful hiss.

Edward.

Shit!

"Oh fuck! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

"No no, it's okay. I was kind of expecting you to do that, if I was being honest with myself." He gave me an easy smile, not a trace of anger in his face as he rubbed at his wrist. "Sorry, but you were talking in your sleep. It seemed like you wanted to wake up."

Oh no, oh shit, I can't believe I passed out in front of him. It was then that I realized I had been lying on the couch, and his large coat was draped over me.

He put his coat on me… covered me up.

He didn't do anything to me?

… He didn't do anything to me.

I felt my face heat up, and looked away.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, just pissed off." I was, but I was shaken too. It was so much harder dealing with the nightmares without Zeus there to hold when I woke up.

_Zeus!_ I jumped to my feet, but the room was dark.

"Fuck! What time is it?"

"Almost seven."

"Fuck! Fuck fuck fuck. I gotta go."

"Hey! Wait, what's wrong?"

"My boy has been by himself all night, he's going to be freaking out, I have to get home." I felt horrible running out on him like this after everything he'd done for me, but Zeus needed me, he'd been alone almost twelve hours. "Sorry, but I can't leave you here by yourself."

"No no, that's cool. Let's go."

I pulled on my coat and bag as we walked down the stairwell. The bag hurt like a bitch on my shoulder, but it wasn't anything I couldn't tolerate. Until I tried to lift my arm with the bag's weight on it.

I knew I couldn't drive my bike like this, and that fact almost made me burst into fucking tears.

"Are you sure you're okay to get home by yourself? You dislocated your fucking arm this morning."

"Yeah, I'm good."

"I don't believe you."

That had to be one of the wisest things I'd ever heard him say.

"You okay getting a ride?" He was probably in more danger on his own than I was.

"Yeah, could you just do me a favor though?"

That was a dangerous request. "Maybe."

"Can you just…. Text me or something later? And let me know you're okay?"

That was sweet, but I couldn't let him play caretaker, as hot of a nurse as he'd make.

Shit, I really needed to sleep.

"I'm fine Batman, don't worry about me."

"If you don't call me, I'm coming by the club to check on you tonight."

I bit back my smile. Was that supposed to be a threat?

"Well, I guess I'll see you tonight then."

. . . . . . . . . .

After getting home, calming down Zeus and getting him outside, cleaning his mess and taking four showers, I only had three hours to sleep before I had to go meet Alice and Rose for lunch. Too tired to even drive my truck, I called for a car and quickly threw on a pair of jeans and a cute purple shirt before leaving. I couldn't cover up my swollen lip, but I'd done a good job with my jaw, and put on my biggest pair of glasses to cover up my bruised eyes.

And my hair looked horrible, I could barely lift my arm to do anything with it. I knew I needed to get it fixed, but I just couldn't go to the hospital. Not just because I didn't want anyone to touch me, but hospitals asked too many questions. I wouldn't risk it, I was seeing Rory on Thursday. I'd be fine until then.

At least one thing was working on my side today, and it was Collin that came and picked me up. He hopped out of the car and ran to get my door for me. I was equal parts flattered and annoyed, but I wasn't going to take it out on him.

"Morning Bree! Or afternoon I guess."

"Hey Collin." He closed my door and dashed over to his.

"So, who are we picking up before the restaurant?"

"No one, it's just me today."

"Oh." He looked at me through the rear view mirror and smiled.

"Jeeze, don't look so disappointed," I teased, tempted to just curl back up in a ball and go to sleep.

"I'm not disappointed in the slightest, this is just the first time you've called me without a party," he pointed out. It was true, but he didn't say anything else about it and made his way expertly to the restaurant. "What time would you like me back?"

_I don't want you to leave me here at all, just take me back home_. "Two hours should be long enough," I prayed.

"Okay, I won't be far though. Just give me a call if you want me back earlier."

I smiled at him. "You're a lifesaver Collin." I took out my wallet and slipped him a fifty.

"No, you can pay after I take you back-"

"This isn't for fare. Go buy yourself lunch, I'll see you in a bit," I said with a wink, and made my way into the restaurant.

I was the first one there, but was pleased that Rose had reserved my favourite table. I got myself situated in my seat, and it was damn near impossible not to order a drink. I knew Bree Tanner was technically twenty-three, but I felt like I was lying ordering alcohol. I'd really be twenty-one in another three weeks…

No, fuck it, I really need a drink.

"Rye and coke please, a double." I could use the caffeine too.

"Of course, could I see some identification first though?" The sever asked shyly. I handed over Bree's ID before she smiled at me and went to get my drink.

I knocked it back the second it was on the table, and didn't even have to ask her to bring me another.

"Rough day?" she asked, setting my new glass down.

I fought the urge to sigh. Sometimes it's damn hard being polite to people without giving them the wrong idea. I was too tired to even give her a stern look though, and leaned back in my chair.

"You have no idea," I answered, and she gave me a sad smile before attending to one of her other tables.

I didn't have to wait long for Rose, she walked through the doors a minute later and made a b-line to our table.

I should have seen it coming, she was obviously in a great mood. She came right up and gave me a tight hug.

And I couldn't stop myself from pulling in a sharp breath before I started trembling.

"Hey, what's-" Her eyes went wide as she looked at me, and yanked off my glasses before she gasped. "What the hell! What-"

"SHH!" I said, yanking my glasses back and putting them back on. "A little louder maybe? I don't think the cooks heard you," I hissed.

"What the fuck happened to you?" She whispered, pulling up her chair, her eyes scared and furious.

"Just a little scuffle. I'm fine, really."

"Bullshit."

We sat in silence for a minute.

"What happened Bella?"

"I don't want to talk about it," I said sternly, nodding my head as Alice walked in.

"No, we can do this another time, let's just-"

"Rose… please," I whispered. She just stared at me sadly while Alice came in and took her seat.

"This is so exciting! I can't believe you're getting married!" Alice sang with a laugh. "So when's the big day going to be?"

"October fourth," Rose answered, finally looking away from me and facing her cousin. Her expression wasn't convincing, but Alice was too excited to really notice.

"Have you booked your place yet? All the good locations are usually booked pretty far in advance, but I know a few people-"

"Yeah, the place is already taken care of," I said, forcing myself into the conversation.

Alice leaned in conspiratively. "So, how is all of this going to work? Will you be able to come? Will you wear a disguise? Fake identities?"

I chuckled. "There are a few work-arounds we'll have to take. Emmett and I will be using our fake names, there will be really high security so no unwanted photographs are taken, we're going to tell anyone who asks that I've flown in from out of town. We're also not going to send out the address of the party until the day of to shorten the chances of unwanted people finding it."

"Unwanted people? You mean…" Her voice paled, and I reassured her quickly.

"No no, I was talking more about press. Rose's friends are high profile, along with her, Emmett, you, and especially your brother. If they caught wind of that guest list they'd be dying to get in." She frowned. "Hey, none of that. You. Are. Coming. You all are. My future sister-in-law deserves a kick ass wedding, and you are not backing out." She frowned, and I unfortunately had to pull out the big guns earlier than I wanted to. "Come on Alice, you can't say you aren't excited to wear matching dresses with me, are you?"

She choked on her drink, and gaped at me.

Fuck my life. I could see the wheels turning, and Rose jumped in to help.

"So, since B is pretty much planning my wedding for me, Alice, I have a really big favour to ask you."

"Of course I'll make your dress!" She exclaimed before Rose even said the words. "But, I get to make the bridesmaid's dresses too."

"That would be wonderful," Rose said, smiling at me teasingly. The expression quickly faded though, turning to one of concern again.

"So, what's everyone getting to eat? I'm starving," I lied cheerfully. I ordered one extremely overpriced salad. My jaw was throbbing, and I doubted I'd be able to chew something more challenging.

It was a long lunch, and it wasn't long after I started eating that Alice seemed to realize there was something wrong. She kept asking over and over again, but there was nothing I could do. I just couldn't make myself eat, the pain was making me sick, and I had just no more energy. I could have cried in relief when my phone rang, and I saw it was Collin.

My hero.

"I'm really sorry guys, but I have a business meeting I need to get to," I lied. Alice frowned, and when I turned around to wave bye to Rose Alice hugged me, sending pain radiating through my shoulder and burning the gash on my stomach. I couldn't handle another second, pushing her away from me and grasping at my shoulder while I tried to breathe. Sweat beaded up on my forehead and the room spun around me.

"Hey! I'm sorry, what's wrong with your arm? Are you-"

"God! I said I'm fine, will you two just drop it already?" I spat, dropping money down onto the table and storming off without a backward glance.

_Don't pass out, don't pass out, don't pass out…_

"Bree? Are you okay?"

"Fine," I whispered back. I didn't argue as he helped me climb into the car.

"Do you want to go to a hospital or something?" He asked, climbing into the front and turning around to look at me.

"No, I just need to go home," I said, closing my eyes. The car started moving, and fifteen minutes later he pulled over. I paid Collin, leaving him a considerable tip after his heroics today, then made my way down the block to my building, went in through the parking garage and took the service elevator up to my floor. My phone buzzed when I walked in.

**You're not working tonight. You might not tell me what's wrong, but you're hurt and you obviously can't work tonight. I already called Jake.**

**Rose, I'll be fine to come in. It's nothing, really.**

**I hired a doctor to come in tonight. If you want to go inside you'll have to let him look at you first.**

Fuck.

**Well, I'll talk to you another day then.**

I chucked my phone across the room, listening to it shatter into a hundred pieces when it connected with the wall.

Zeus whimpered, and I immediately felt horrible.

"I'm sorry baby," I whispered, scratching his ears. My eyes started watering, and I rolled a fat joint before going up to my roof with my boy and passing out.

. . . . . . . . . .

"Bella? Bells!" Emmett's voice belted out.

"Ugh, what? Why are you yelling?"

"Why am I yelling? Why the fuck aren't you answering a _single one of your goddamn phones!_ I thought you were-" His eyes went wide as I tried to get up. A hammock is not easy to get out of with only one arm. "Fuck, Bella, why didn't you just call me?"

"What?" I was still kind of out of it, and it was really dark outside. "What time is it?"

"Why didn't you call me after James?"

That got my attention, and my head whipped around at his words.

"Edward told me."

_That fucker…_

"You've really done a number on that guy you know, I'd go easy on him."

Huh? "What?"

"That guy's fucking crazy about you. He freaked out when you weren't there, dragged me outside to talk to him… He looked damn close to crying, begging me to make sure you were okay. He was terrified."

That stopped any comebacks I might have had in their tracks. I had forgotten that he said he'd be coming to check up on me at the club. Fuck…

He ratted me out to Emmett, but I was the one that felt guilty.

"Tell me what happened."

"You're not going to like it," I said after a couple minutes of silence.

"I need to know Bella."

I nodded, and told him about them jumping me when I opened the door to the alley, trying to fight them off, my shoulder, the knife, what he said…

And Edward barreling in like a bat out of hell and saving my ass.

I was shaking and crying by the time I finished, while Emmett held me, telling me everything was going to be okay. When I calmed down again he made me a drink, and checked out my stomach, my ribs, my jaw and my shoulder.

"Your shoulder seems pretty fucked."

"Yeah, it's not sitting properly. I'm seeing Rory on Thursday, he can fix it for me."

"Are you sure you can wait that long? It could make it worse, or what if you have permanent damage?"

"It's sore, but a few days won't make much of a difference. I swear. A few weeks maybe, but not a few days."

"Your ribs-"

"They're fine Em, it's just bad bruising," I lied. Pretty sure I at least had a small fracture, but I had healed from much worse on my own before.

"You should just go to the damn hospital Bella, I know you're-"

"No Emmett," I said vehemently. "Doctors make mistakes too. You know that, you know that I know that. I'll wait to see someone I trust."

His face fell. "Sorry."

"It's okay. I just really can't deal with a hospital right now. Besides, you know how risky it can be trying to go to a hospital as Bree, and I sure as hell can't go as myself."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay, I get it Em. I do, really."

He nodded, slumping back on the couch dejectedly. This is why I didn't tell him about things like this, unless it was an emergency. My brother loved me so much, just like I did him. We were all the family each other had left, even though now we had Rose. I knew how painful it was for him to see me get hurt, and I knew what memories it was probably bringing back to him right now.

"Hey, I forgot to tell you, I technically had lunch with Mac the other day," I said with a smile. He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Mac?..." Then his eyebrows went wide. "Marcus Volturi?"

"Yup. Alice's brother's doing another movie with him it looks like."

He laughed loudly. "How was he? He recognized you, right?"

"Yeah, he seemed pretty surprised, I guess my company really threw him for one too. He didn't let a single thing slip, but unfortunately I couldn't really talk to him, you know?"

"Yeah-"

"Oh, shit! I forgot! He wrote me a note…" I jumped up from my spot on the couch, and went and dug through a pile of miscellaneous crap that had built up on my counter until I found that piece of folded up paper. I opened it up with a smile.

_**I can't tell you how happy I felt, seeing you today. I had been thinking of you on the way to the meeting, thinking of our mutual friend. I've been following his case, so I'm keeping this safe, but it would be wonderful for a chance to catch up sometime. Call any time, say hi to your brother for me, and please, take care.**_

_**Love, Mac**_

I smiled brightly before handing the note to Em to read, and he grinned too, but it quickly faded.

"What?"

"Are you going to tell Edward?"

"No. Are you?" He looked down, and I put a gentle hand on his arm. "Hey, if you need to… I get it. I can't imagine how hard it is being friends with someone who's played you in a movie, and not have them even know it."

I did get it, but I didn't like it. I didn't want him to know, I didn't want him to look at me the way people always did when they found out what had happened.

He laughed darkly. "I bet you _can_ imagine it, actually."

. . . "That's besides the point," I said with a small smile. He laughed again, this one a little more genuine. "But if you need to, I get it. It's okay. Just make sure you give me a heads up first, okay? That wouldn't be a fun surprise conversation at work."

"No, I'm not going to say anything. He'll find out soon with the wedding, anyways."

"Hah. I bet that will be an interesting surprise for him." I gave Em a teasing look. "Definitely a surprise, we look nothing alike. I _did_ get all the good looks in our genes, after all," I said, with a toss of my hair. He doubled over laughing, and I soon followed. Emmett's real laugh was incredibly contagious.

"Hah, you wish baby sis." His brow furrowed. "Although, I'd probably have to disagree with Cullen."

"Emmett-"

"What's the deal with him Bells? I got Jasper, he's an awesome guy and like my best friend now, but Edward? Why do you put up with him? Why did you take that job?"

I sighed. "Emmett, it's nothing, really. He's a pretty decent guy I guess. I don't hate him."

Emmett's eyes went wide, and I gave him a pissed off look.

"And I want to keep an eye on him. I don't trust him not to go snooping or fuck up, he's too curious." I gave him a look, reminding him exactly why that was. Emmett's little slips.

He sighed. "You're right. I'm watching him too."

I rolled my eyes and chuckled. "Yeah, Em, I know you are."

He stayed over for a few hours, and we talked some more about the wedding while watching both of The Boondock Saints movies. I was always disappointed watching the second one, but I did love me some Norman Reedus, especially with that Irish accent. Em had the great idea of getting Zeus to be the ring bearer, and I assured him it could be easily done. I was thrilled with the idea of my boy being in the wedding. I didn't want to leave him alone in the apartment all night.

He left a bit after three to grab Rose from work and take her home, after I assured him about a thousand times that I was going to be fine and wouldn't die alone in my apartment. After permitting him to chauffeur me to work until my shoulder was sorted out. I still felt dead on my feet, but too irritated to sleep, and took a shower before starting on season two of The Walking Dead.

I got halfway through the first episode when an alert went off on my computer. I went over, and opened it quickly when I saw it was one of my trackers. Someone was talking about me.

My stomach sank, and I fell into my seat when I saw who it was.

Edward.

The e-mail was addressed to a man name Aro, and I recognized the name from the background check I'd done on him as his family lawyer. He gave him a description of me, where I worked, the nickname that was the only thing he knew me by, thank god. He wanted him to get into my company's database and get my name, and to do a background check on me and get my criminal record.

I copied the e-mail, and then crashed not only this Aro's account, but Edward's as well just out of spite.

I printed the e-mail, and read it three more times. My heart broke a little more with each pass.

He'd been good, and I'd been wrong. It'd been so wrong. This is what happens, I should have known better. This is why I live the way I do. I'd been so, so wrong thinking he'd be any different.

Emmett said he was worried about me, that he was so concerned about me that he'd almost cried.

Probably just a ploy, trying to get more information on me. The man had an Oscar for fuck sake's, he knew how to act.

And I'd started to believe it. So had Emmett…

And that thought completely flipped my mood. My sadness turned into boiling rage.

If this had gone through, he would have gotten my name. He would have found out Emmett and I shared a name. If this Aro was good enough, he could have found out they were covers, and if someone did a search on my real name…

He could have gotten my brother killed. Victor would use anyone I knew, including Rose, Jasper and his own fucking sister.

He could have gotten my entire family killed.

Ignoring the pain, I flew to my dresser and pulled on a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt, grabbed my keys and that damned fucking e-mail, and went down the main lobby. I hailed the first cab I saw, not even fucking caring, and gave him the address.

I walked around the side of the building, shaking my head when I saw there weren't any cameras over the back door. I used the wire on my key chain to open the lock, and made my way up the stairs to the fourth floor, then took the elevator the rest of the way to the fortieth floor.

No one would be able to pull this off in my building. Fucking amateurs. I rapped on the door hard. I didn't even listen to what he mumbled when he opened the door, lunging forward and punching him in the face. He stumbled backwards, and I slid into his apartment when my fist connected with his stomach, sending him down.

This man almost fucking endangered my family.

I pounced, pinning his arms to the floor with my knees and slapping him in the face.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!" He didn't answer and I slapped him again. "Why the fuck were you trying to access my criminal records Edward!"

His eyes went wide in surprise. That was the look of a man who had been caught red handed. "How did you-"

"I got an alert when you sent_ this_." I shoved my evidence in his face. "At first I thought it was some sort of mistake, but that was my own fucking fault for letting my guard down around you, isn't it? You fucking _prick."_ My anger boiled over, and I raised my hand to slap him again but… Looking down at him, the fight just seemed to drain out of me, and I dropped my hand.

I hadn't realized until that moment how desperately I had wanted to trust him. He had seemed like he had genuinely cared, and I…

I had let myself get attached. I was a fucking idiot, and the pain of his betrayal made it hard to breathe.

"You know, I was actually starting to think you were a decent guy. What the fuck is your problem! _Why can't you just leave me alone!"_

Then I just sort of stopped, looking down at him. His lip was bleeding, he wasn't struggling to get away from me, he was just looking back at me the way he always did. Like he actually fucking cared…

Lies…

I felt my eyes start to water, and suddenly I needed to get the hell out of here before I killed him, or worse, he saw me cry.

He lunged forward, kicking shut the door before I could get out. "Wait-" he gasped. Fuck, I had gotten him hard in the ribs, what was wrong with me? I couldn't think, I needed Zeus, I needed Emmett, I needed to get out of here because it hurt too goddamn much being this close to him.

"Don't make me kick you while you're down." I was livid, but I'd come to the conclusion that I didn't want to hospitalize him, and needed to leave before that changed. He sat up against the door and pushed himself up, still blocking my exit. His expression changed from one of worry to one of determination.

"You're hiding something, you're all fucking hiding something. I'm sick of the secrets, and I'm not going to let you drag my family into whatever warrant's you're running from."

No, he was not going to use Rose as a scapegoat, we both know why he did what he did. "_Your_ family? Rose?"

"Yeah."

"You've been gone for five fucking years, you don't know Rose. She may be your blood, but she's _my_ family. _I_ protect her, not _you_." He's the one that almost endangered her tonight. I live the way I do to protect them. I'd jump in front of a fucking bullet for her, but I doubt he could say the same. He didn't know her.

"Protect her from what?"

Exactly.

"If you knew her, you wouldn't be asking. Now get the hell out of my way before I knock you out."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"You're not leaving me."

Those four words were so much more painful than they should have been. I couldn't do this, I just couldn't do this anymore. I panicked, and just tried to push him out of my way, and a horrible pain radiated through my shoulder. I screamed, the room spun, and everything went black.

. . . . . . . . . .

I hurt everywhere, and I moaned when my stomach rolled. What the hell… I clutched at my shoulder, rolling onto my side to take the pressure off of it. I opened my eyes slowly against the harsh light, and Emmett was leaning over me, worry etched into his face. What the hell?...

Then I looked over, and saw Edward's pale, horrified face watching me. Everything came crashing back. He grabbed my shoulder, I must have passed out.

I didn't even think, I just lunged for him, but Emmett was faster and pinned me to the floor.

"Let me go Emmett! I'm going to fucking kill him!"

"Calm down! We'll all take turns kicking Edward's ass once you tell me what the fuck is going on!" He turned my face to look at him, and kept eye contact until I actually saw him. He waited for my anger to fade, and loosened his hold when he saw that it had passed and I was once again _there_.

I let out a tired sigh, and looked over to the side. It only took me a second to locate the paper sitting on the floor. I nodded to it.

"Read that, and you'll know."

He deliberated for a few seconds, but I was done, and just stayed there.

I saw the disbelief, the hurt, the betrayal, and then the anger pass across his face. After the conversation we'd had only hours ago I knew it would be hard for him too, to come to the same conclusion. But this wasn't something I could hide from him. Lines were crossed, and it needed to be handled. When he finished reading, he looked over at him.

"Why would you do this? I thought you fucking cared about her?"

I laughed, and hated that I had to lean so much on the wall to get myself up. That was the punch line here, wasn't it? He'd had us all fooled into thinking he cared about someone he really knew nothing about.

He puffed up, and tried to come off as confident. "I'm sick of all the secrecy."

Emmett apparently didn't give a shit, and turned to me. "Did it get through?"

"No, I crashed his account then cleared the trail. No one read it but me."

"Are you sure? I'm not taking a fucking chance, not again."

"I'm sure Emmett." I gave him a look, letting him know that I wasn't downplaying it. I wouldn't joke about something this important. I had come here for a completely different reason. "I just don't know what to do with this asshole."

Emmett's reaction was instant, and fear rose in my throat as he spun, lifting Edward up and throwing him up against the wall like the large man weighed nothing at all. "Do you have any idea how much fucking danger you almost put her in?" He growled, shoving him into the wall again.

"Emmett…" I'd already done a lot of damage, too much. What was wrong with me… I couldn't fucking think straight.

"No! He's not going to drop this, and I am _not_ going to let that asshole find you again," he yelled at me, and I flinched away from the conviction and anger in his voice. I lowered my head, leaning against the wall.

I was tough, but my big brother taught me everything I knew about fighting and had over a hundred pounds on me. I couldn't do anything if he had decided to do this.

"What are you talking about?" His voice didn't sound so confident anymore. I didn't want to listen to this, I didn't know what Em would say, but I didn't want to see Edward's reaction to it.

"My sister is in fucking witness protection you asshole, that's why she can't tell anyone her fucking name. What you did, you could have gotten her fucking killed! Now, you're going to back the fuck off, you won't even fucking look at her again, let alone talk about her. You won't step a foot into my gym or club, you got that?"

"Your… sister?"

"Yes, my fucking baby sister you asshole. Fuck!" I flinched when I heard Emmett's fist go through the wall, but thankfully it hadn't connected with Edward's head. I needed to get my brother out of here, and started pulling on his arm to get his attention back to me.

I saw him snap out of it immediately when he looked down at me, his fear and concern for me showing through his eyes.

He deserved so much better than this, than having me for a sister. I've taken everything from him, but he still loves me that much. He was trembling now, warring with himself trying to figure out what to do.

"Come on Em, let's go. This is a waste of time. I'll make us some steaks for breakfast," I told him gently, still trying to tug him away from Edward. He seemed to calm slightly, and when I let go of him he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. I gave him an encouraging smile, and he returned it after a moment as I pulled him in the direction of the door.

I shot Edward one look before I left, warning him to heed Emmett's warning seriously. Emmett didn't let go of me until he opened the door to his F-150 and gave me a hand up.

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, once he closed his door behind him.

"Yeah. I'm sorry, I should have called you, but I just sort of snapped, I wasn't thinking…" I sighed. "I'm so sorry Emmett," I said, the tears finally escaping. "I'm so so sorry, this is all my fault, I should have known better, been more careful, I should have-"

"Shh," he said, pulling me into his arms. He held me, and let me just cry and get it out. "This isn't your fault. None of us asked for this, it's just the hand the universe dealt us."

"I've ruined your life Emmett. You'd be better off if I'd-"

"Don't you even fucking finish that sentence," he hissed, covering my mouth, and most of my face really, with his big hand. "Bells, you're more than my family, my only family, you're my best fucking friend. I know this is hard, why you might think the way you do, but _you are wrong_. Can't you see the amazing life you've built us, even with everything that's going on? You built me one of the most successful businesses in NY, you built us somewhere safe to live in the open, you introduced me to the woman of my dreams. I should be taking care of you, you're my baby sister, but I can't deny that you're the one that's always taken care of me. I love you kiddo."

"I love you too," I whispered back. "And you know that's not true right?"

"What's not?"

I smiled at him. "You take care of me Emmett. You always have, and most of the time I don't think you realize you're even doing it."

"I obviously haven't been doing a good job," he muttered. I smacked him.

"Hey, if it's not my fault, it isn't yours either Emmett."

"But-"

"No. Don't. We've done this already; it wasn't your fault." I did up my seat-belt. "Now, onward to the market! I was serious about those steaks."

He smiled back at me, and started up the car.

I stared at the window, trying not to break down completely in front of him as everything I'd done raced through my mind in a loop, cutting me deeper and deeper with each pass.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Violence is never the answer, but everyone has a breaking point and it's human nature to make mistakes. Please leave a review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Psst! NewTwilightFan! Thank you for recommending my story and sending a few readers my way ;) **

**I'm not Stephanie Meyer, and therefore do not own the Twilight characters. I just own the story they're playing in.**

. . . . . . . . . . .

Time was crawling as my shoulder got worse, and using all my energy to put on a convincing smile was sucking the life right out of me. Worse thing was, I wasn't convincing anyone, so it felt like a wasted effort.

Monday I'd managed to get through most of lunch pitching my idea to Jasper, who was more than happy to learn a new song with me for Emmett and Rose's first dance. The entire hour was spent selecting our song, and to his credit he only asked me what was wrong once, though I saw him close to inquiring again multiple times. I was a little relieved when he said he couldn't join me for lunch on Tuesday, but was immediately suspicious when Alice called me shortly after.

"Hey Alice, what's up?"

"Hey B, uhmm… are you at work today?" Her voice sounded nervous, worried, and I was instantly on alert.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" My heart sank. "Is it James? Did he contact you?"

"What? No, I just… I was wondering if you could come over? I… need to talk to you about something, it's important."

"Where are you now?"

"I'm home."

"I'll be there soon." It didn't matter what it was, even if there was a fucking spider in her bathroom; if Alice was that worried about something, I'd take care of it. I called Emmett, saying I was leaving early, calling a cab, and wouldn't need a lift later. I got in said cab, and was buzzing her apartment twenty minutes later.

She sighed in relief, pulling me in and locking her door when I got there. "Thank god you're here."

"Are you okay? Tell me what's wrong, I'll take care of it for you."

She fidgeted. "Do you promise?"

"Of course," I said foolishly.

"You're arm."

I looked at her in surprise. "What?"

"Your arm is really messed up, I'm worried about you. I want you to take care of it."

I took a step away from her. "Alice?"

"Dad?"

My stomach rolled, and I turned around when someone cleared his throat. The resemblance to Edward was immediate, though their hair and eyes were completely different colours. He was a good-looking older man, in his late fifties I knew.

Doctor Carlisle Cullen.

Hell. No.

"What the hell is this Alice? You lied to me, tricked me to come over here?"

"Bella, we're just worried about you, I only wanted to-"

"Well don't! I told you to drop it. I can take care of myself, I always have. I'm not letting some fucking stranger touch me," I spat, and tried to get out. She wouldn't let me pass.

Her dad cleared his throat again politely, and I glared at him.

"Sorry, we weren't properly introduced, I'm-"

"I know who the hell you are, and your services aren't needed. Alice, get out of my way."

And then she started crying.

"I'm sorry! Please Bella, you're hurt, you need a Doctor, _please_, I understand if you can never forgive me for this but please, just let him look at your arm. He's a really good doctor. Please. If not for me, then for Rose and Emmett. They're worried sick about you right now."

"Emmett and Rose were in on this?" I asked, feeling completely betrayed.

"No. I wasn't going to sit around and do nothing though. I couldn't. You're my friend."

"Please," her father said softly, taking a cautious step forward. "It would only take a minute, and then you can leave," he said reasonably.

I watched them both for a long, quiet moment, Alice still bawling her eyes out, and that's what did it for me. I gripped onto the doorknob with my good arm.

"Fine, you have a minute."

He stepped forward quickly, but hesitated. "I can't inspect it with your sleeve, do you think you could…?"

No fucking way. I glared at him, and he shrank away. Alice was trembling, and after shooting them both a look, I ripped at the seam in my sleeve, and tore it off to both of their surprise.

"Better?"

"Uh, yeah. That works." My grip tightened on the doorknob as he touched me, inspecting the joint. He paused.

"You're going to have to dislocate it again to set it properly," I pointed out obviously.

"Er, yes. You're right."

"Well, get on with it then."

I ignored his worried look, staring at the door as he disconnected my shoulder, and bit into my lip hard enough to make it bleed when he slowly lifted it up, then back, and it popped into its proper place with a sickening crunching noise.

I lifted my arm, moving it around slowly, and nodded at the Doctor.

"Friends don't manipulation the compassion of other friends Alice. I thought you were in danger."

And with that, I left.

. . . . . . . . . .

I didn't go into work on Wednesday, told Emmett and Rose to leave me alone, and on Thursday morning Collin drove me to my Tattoo parlour because my arm was still killing me, though I was able to move it properly now.

Rory beamed when he saw me come in.

"Ah! If it isn't my best masterpiece! How- shit, Angel, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just a rough week. I'm fine though."

"Anything I need to look at?" He asked knowingly.

"Not anymore. I was cornered and had a doctor thrown at me the other day."

"What did he do?"

"I set my shoulder wrong, he had to reset it."

"Damn, well I'll still take a look at it. I- oh wait, I just need to cash out my other client. Just a sec."

"Sure."

My eyes went wide when I saw just who said client was.

James fucking Hetfield.

I felt like a silly fan girl when I gave him a bright smile, and he grinned back at me, giving me a once over.

"Hey there," he said with a wink.

_James Hetfield just winked at me._

"Hi, I wasn't aware that I was sharing Rory with a celebrity," I said with my own grin. He laughed.

"I'm flattered," he said with a laugh. "Rory here is my favourite, he's done most of my sleeve. Have you two known each other long?"

"Oh yes," Rory said happily. I laughed.

"We've been working together for about two years now, I think."

He raised his eyebrow. "Oh really?" He looked me over. "I'd never be able to tell."

"Oh! Angel, please, can I show him?" I bit my lip. My tattoos were for myself, I didn't get them to show off to people for the sole purpose that they were a permanent identifier for me. I wasn't really self-conscious anymore now with the worst of the scars covered. It was just odd for me.

I kind of owed Rory for his masterpiece, and an opportunity to show off his art to another client. I sighed, and smiled.

"I doubt he wants to see," I said, eying him shyly.

"Oh, I disagree with you a hundred percent. You've really piqued my curiosity now." Another wink. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable though."

I waved him off, and they both followed me over to Rory's work area before I pulled off my shirt.

"Holy fuck girl, you have more ink than I do," he said with a laugh. "Man, that is just beautiful."

I felt my face flush slightly and turned around to smile at him. Both of their expressions turned to one of concern when they saw the bruising around my shoulder and my ribcage though.

"Shit, how long was it displaced for?" Rory asked, prodding at my shoulder and moving it around.

"Just a couple days. It's fine."

"Get into some sort of fight?" James asked worriedly, and I was surprised by the genuine concern on his face. I pulled my shirt back on, brushing Rory off. He just lifted it back up and started looking at my ribs with a scowl.

"This is nothing, you should see the other guys," I said with a smile. I definitely wasn't going to tell him that he shared a name with my attacker. Very unnecessary.

"Guys as in plural?"

"So what sort of work were you getting done today? I showed you mine, it's only fair you show me yours."

He smiled, and after showing me the touch-up he'd had done, we all talked for a little bit before he left.

"Wow, as if that just happened. Talk about surreal," I said with a grin.

"Yeah, he's a really cool guy actually. Tips well, too." He looked back at me. "Your body's been through a lot, if you want to postpone it's okay, I won't charge you."

"No, I'm good to go, I want to get this one started," I told him honestly. He smiled.

"Will you at least let me wrap up your ribs first?" He asked, giving me the fucking puppy-dog eyes. It wasn't easy to tape your own ribs, so I conceded.

"Okay Angel, let's take a look then." I undid my jeans so he could take a closer look at my scar. "What was this from? It's looks like it was re-opened."

"It was. Double surgery."

"Fuck, no wonder you don't like doctors."

"I don't need them, not when I got you," I said playfully. He grinned before taking out our sketches. "So, have you changed your mind at all for the design?"

"Nope."

"Excellent. So, we got two hours today, I'm going to start with the new feathers."

I felt myself relax, close to falling asleep from the constant, low buzzing of the needle gun. I made my body stay completely still, even though this spot on the side of my waist was probably the worst spot I'd ever had done, but I refused to screw him up. The slight burning of the needle cutting into me had long ago become almost a comfort. I didn't consider this pain, it relaxed me almost. And two hours later when we stopped, I had five new feathers that were reaching towards the scar on my hip.

"Next two sessions we'll be doing in the nebula-cloud colours and covering the scar, and it will take another two sessions after at least to tie it into your leg."

"Sounds good. Thursdays still work best for me."

He booked my next session after I paid him, and I went home feeling much lighter than I had in days, and being rational enough now to know I had fucked things up badly, and was a horrible fucking human being. Not that I hadn't already known that before.

. . . . . . . . . .

I made my way over to Alice's, waiting there until she got home from work. I shouldn't have been surprised to see her walk up with Jasper, but I was. I expected him to jump down my throat for the way I'd acted towards his girlfriend, but he ran over and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded, and he pulled back to smile at me. I looked over at Alice, who was sadly looking at her gorgeous shoes.

"Alice, can we talk?"

She looked hopeful and worried, but nodded and let us in.

"Would it be better if I left?" Jasper asked awkwardly.

"No, you should probably hear this too," I said. The three of us sat down in her living room. I didn't waste any time. "First, Alice, I wanted to apologize for the way I treated you on Tuesday. I should have handled that better."

"No, I should have talked to you about it first," she said quietly.

"What happened on Tuesday?"

"I called my dad over to fix Bella's shoulder, without telling her about it."

Jasper looked torn.

"Did you ask her why she didn't go to the hospital herself?" He asked her gently.

"Well, no…"

"I don't like doctors Alice."

"Yeah, I figured. But why?"

"An old grudge. A doctor made a mistake during a surgery when I was thirteen, and now I can never have children. It's mostly due to the fact that it's a bitch to go through the process when you're living under a false identity though."

Her eyes went wide and quickly filled with tears. I slid forward and took her hand.

"I'm not telling you this to make you feel guilty Alice. I just want you to understand why I acted the way I did, and for that… I need to tell you what happened last Saturday morning." I took a deep breath and spoke quickly. "I got into a fight with your brother Alice."

"What? Why?"

"Do you know someone named Aro?"

She gasped. "He didn't!"

"He sent him an e-mail early Saturday morning, asking him to get information on me," I stopped Jasper before he could cut in. "I got it before Aro got a chance to read it, but… I was on edge already. As you probably figured out, I got into a bit of a fight the night before-"

"With who?" They both interrupted.

"That doesn't matter. What I'm getting at is, your brother helped me that night, no, honestly, he probably saved my ass, but it was still really fresh when he went and sent that e-mail… I kind of snapped, and went over to his place to… well, kick his ass. And I did. I passed out in his foyer when he grabbed onto my shoulder, and he called Emmett for help, and then I told Emmett what happened and… He banned him from the club and gym, telling him to stay away from me. He knows about Emmett and I now, and about the whole witness protection thing… Alice, I'm sorry. I really fucked up. And then I took my frustration out on you when you were only trying to help me. I'm so fucking sorry."

"No, you didn't fuck up. He did," she hissed angrily, getting up and pacing across the room. "I told him to back off, I told him to leave you alone. But he keeps pushing… I'm sorry Bella, I know how hard it was to let me into your life, and then you do and this happens. I'll kick his ass myself!"

"No, Alice, that's not why I came over here," I said tiredly, rubbing at my eyes.

"It doesn't matter, he deserves-"

"No! You don't get it!" I sat up and locked eyes with her. "Don't you see? He didn't… You're brother saved me, and I thanked him by breaking into his building and kicking his ass a day later, because he was _curious_." I was a fucking hypocrite, and hated myself for it. I hated what I did to him. What I said to him. Attacking him, breaking into him home, hurting him… just thinking about it made it hard to breathe, I wanted to curl up in the dark by myself and just fucking cry, or throw up, because I was fucking disgusted with myself. He should have me thrown in jail.

I leaned forward. "When was the last time you talked to him?"

"What? Why?"

"I just… I just want to know I didn't hurt him too badly. Could you just make sure he's okay?"

They both watched me for a moment, and Alice's expression turned from anger, to confusion, to something close to mischievous. Without a word, she took out her phone, dialed, and put it on speakerphone.

He answered on the fourth ring.

"What?"

"Well, hello to you too brother dearest," she sneered back.

"What do you want Alice? I'm not in the mood."

She faltered for a second. "I just wanted to check in, see how you wer-"

"I'm fine. Busy. I got to go." He hung up quickly.

"He's fine, just melodramatic."

I let out a deep sigh. "Thank you Alice."

"So… are we okay?"

I looked at her uncertainly. "I don't know, are we?" I asked hopefully. She smiled brightly.

"Definitely. Can I hug you without hurting you?"

I laughed. "I'm willing to let you try." She laughed too, and gave me a gentle hug. I tried to leave afterwards, but they bribed me with Chinese food and held me captive for a couple hours before letting me go home. I let Alice paint my toenails, figured it was the least I could do considering.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

He didn't come to the club, Friday or Saturday, and as far as I knew he didn't go to the gym either. Not that I was expecting him to, I didn't think he was that stupid.

But I noticed.

Friday had been a hard night, I had to '_take care of'_ three different guys, and it wasn't easy with my arm. Besides that though, I was taking excellent care of it, doing exercises multiple times a day, strapping it down when I went running, and it was healing quickly.

Doctor Cullen did a good job, and he probably thought his daughter was friends with a psychopath now.

I got Alice to call and check in on Edward again on Monday, and he'd picked up to tell her to stop calling him before hanging up. It did nothing to reassure me.

My week was going by smoothly though. I went to the gym, to work, walked with Zeus and had dinners with Emmett and Rose. I read, played my violin, not only at home but during lunches with Jasper as well. I interviewed a handful of people and hired two new employees at the club. But no matter what I did, there was always a little part of me somewhere else completely.

Thinking about him.

I was bouncing restlessly as I thought about tonight. Alice wanted me to come over for dinner with Zeus and Rose so we could have a measurement and dress planning party. They usually had dinner with their parents Tuesday nights, so hopefully she could tell me how he was. If I'd hurt him he would have been able to get his father to help him.

My stomach rolled as it always did whenever I thought about him.

Emmett dropped us off, I brought the wine, and I smiled and nudged Rose when we walked in, then nodded to the new cameras that were up while we waited for Alice to buzz us in. She laughed.

"Looks like she's made use of your signs too."

"It always feels good, seeing things work like that," I admitted.

"Look at you, saving the world one building at a time."

I rolled my eyes at her. Zeus ran out the elevator door when I snapped off his leash, and made his way quickly over to an equally excited and awaiting Alice. She always got him so worked up and excited, but I hadn't seen any harm in it. They both loved it.

We immediately opened up the wine, and Alice has music playing in the living room. Her coffee table was covered in different types of fabrics, drawing materials and snacks.

Alice always had the best chocolates, apparently from other designer friends she knew in Europe.

"Okay, so, first I thought we'd start with- Bella, what are you wearing?"

I looked down at my jeans and sweater, then back up at her. "What?"

"I can't measure you properly in something like that," she said with an eye roll. "You're going to have to take that sweater off," she said, waving a finger at me.

Rose gave me a knowing smirk before I pulled off my sweater, and my t-shirt, so I was that just in my tight tank top and skinny jeans. It was warm in here anyways.

"Give me your worst, pixie," I said confidently.

Alice grabbed her sketch pad and a tape measure, and started taking all sorts of measurements. She froze when she walked behind me. "Oh, wow… I didn't know you had a tattoo."

"It's not going to mess with your design ideas, will it?" I asked teasingly.

"They're beautiful."

"Uhm, thanks."

"Do you not like to show them off? It's just, I've never even known until now, if you wanted to cover it up-"

"No, I don't really care. I just have to hide them in my regular routines because they're an identifier. Besides, I have one on my leg too, unless you want to dress me like a nun, they'll be seen either way."

"Excellent! Can I see your other one?"

"Another time Pixie, I've taken enough clothes off for you already today." We both laughed, and I noticed Rose had been pretty quiet. Suddenly I was a little worried. "Shit, sorry Rose. I get your family's going to be there and everything, I can wear something to cover them if you-"

"Oh, don't be ridiculous," she scoffed. "As if I care what any of them think. It's just… are you sure you're comfortable with all this? You don't have to do this for me, you know."

"Okay… I get that I don't dress like you guys do, but I dress the way I do for a specific reason; because I'm hiding. Yes, my clothes are boring, but it's cause I can't stand out. But this… I'm being a completely different person for one controlled night. The more different I look, the better the chances will be that no one recognizes me around afterwards. I never get to do things like this you know… and it's not just because I have to, but I really want to. I want to be a part of something for once, not just watching everyone else from the sidelines."

I hadn't meant to say that much really, but once I started I had trouble stopping, and I was shaking by the end of it. It was selfish, this was Rose's day, not mine, but… it hurt, living like a wallflower.

Venus flytrap maybe, but a flower none-the-less.

Rose suddenly had her arms around me, and was hugging me tightly.

"Bella I-I'm sorry. I should have-"

"No, I shouldn't have said that. Really, it's okay. I love my job Rose, it's just… I've been doing this a long time, it gets a little lonely sometimes. But I'm okay, I just… I want to have fun too, I'm really not doing anything I'm not going to be comfortable with. You should know that I'd tell you if it were otherwise."

She grinned. "Yes, you're right."

"Sorry guys, I didn't mean to go all deep and dramatic on you."

Alice had a teary smile, and sniffled while she shook her head. "No, it's okay, I think I just need a tissue."

I laughed at her. "Okay, let's move on. Alice, nothing too slutty."

"I don't make _slutty_ dresses," she said darkly, and I held up my hands in surrender. "You will look fabulous. Here, these are the designs, actually," she showed Rose and I her sketches, done in all sorts of colours.

"Red," Rose said. "I definitely want red, with white sashes? And maybe you can work some red into my dress?"

"Yes! Here, these are the ideas I had for yours," she handed Rose a dozen different designs, but she fell in love with the first one she'd shown her, the one Alice was obviously hoping she'd pick. She'd already started it in her back room.

She took Rose's measurements, and then Zeus' for the pillow she was going to make for the rings that he would carry before we had a Thai food feast. One of Rose's friends called her when we finished, and she went to talk to her in Alice's office while I helped her clean up.

I practically pounced on her as soon as we were alone. "So, Alice… how's Edward doing?"

She sighed dramatically. "Bella… I think Edward's in love with you."

I choked on a cough.

"Excuse me?"

"It's the only thing that makes sense," she said seriously. "I've never seen him act this way about someone before. And since your… fight, he's cancelled on two dinners at my parent's house, stopped answering his phone… I went over to his place yesterday when he cancelled on dinner again and he just told me to leave."

My stomach sank.

"It's okay to say no, I'll completely understand, but… is there any way you could forgive him? Or come talk to him? I wouldn't ask otherwise, but this is a hundred times worse than what happened with Tanya and-"

"I'm free tomorrow."

She gaped at me. "Really?"

"Yeah."

She hugged me tightly. "Thank you Bella."

"Don't mention it," I said uneasily, worried about the excitement that fluttered inside me, knowing I'd see him again. Tomorrow.

"Bella!"

Rose's voice was panicked, and Alice and I bolted out of the kitchen to find her in the bathroom, looking down at the scale in horror.

"What?"

"I… gained five pounds."

I sighed, a little put off.

"So what?"

"What do you mean _so what_!? I'm getting married, I'm not going to fit in my dress, I-"

"Dude, Rose, she hasn't even made your dress yet, calm down."

She just looked at us in horror, and seemed so lost. I grinned mischievously. "If it means that much to you, I'll help you work it off."

"Really? Can you do that?"

"Sure, easy peasy." I looked her over, thinking about how to do this without hurting her _too_ much. "Give me four, three hour sessions, and I can have you lose ten pounds before the wedding."

"Oh, count me in for that!" Alice said excitedly. I laughed.

"Sure thing, Pixie. I'll meet you both at the gym tomorrow afternoon."

. . . . . . . . . .

This wasn't a good idea. Surprises were never a good idea. The closer we got to his house, the more certain I was that he would not appreciate another unannounced visit from me. How could he? I attacked him like a crazy person, for something completely hypocritical, threatened him, then suddenly and completely cut him out of everyone's life.

"Alice, this isn't a good idea," I told her again.

"Yes it is," she said confidently. "He's going to be thrilled to see you."

I fidgeted slightly, looking down at myself. It had been difficult deciding what to wear today, but seeing as he already knew so much, I went in my casual clothes, a pair of nice jeans, this nice blue shirt that had a lace neck line and sleeves, with my usual black leather jacket. I even left my hair down in a braid, and felt completely exposed and uncomfortable.

I told myself again and again that I could take whatever he had to say to me, that I was doing this for Alice, but it was obvious even to me that I was lying to myself.

I just really fucking needed him to be okay.

Alice waved to the doorman with a smile, and he let us in happily. We got in the elevator. Got out on his floor. Walked to his door. She opened the door without knocking, using her own key.

"Alice-"

"Shh," she said. "Edward?"

No answer.

"He's probably in his room," she said, taking my hand and dragging me along behind her. She stopped by a closed door. "Edward?"

"Go away Alice," he mumbled.

"Excellent. Wait right here," she said quietly, then opened his door, walking in. "Thank god, I thought you'd died. It sure smells like you did. When was the last time you showered?"

"I said _go away Alice_."

"Edward, you need to get out of your apartment, this isn't healthy."

"What's the point? I'm never going to get to see her again." My heart fluttered in my chest, and I fought back the surge of hope that tried to flare to life inside of me.

"You don't know that." I could hear the smile in her voice, but I was too nervous to smile. I shouldn't be listening, but I couldn't walk away either.

"I _do_ know Alice, you don't know what I did, what I almost-"

"I do know, actually."

"What?"

"She told me everything. I've known her and Emmett were siblings for weeks, actually. And she told me what you did, and what she did to you afterwards."

"Is she okay?" He asked quickly, his voice picking up in worry. I didn't hear the anger I'd been expecting in his voice. Had actually been _hoping_ to hear in his voice. His voice sounded stuffy, like he had a cold or something, but still had that deep, smooth tone that I swear I could feel in my bones when he spoke.

"I had to have dad reset her shoulder for her last week. It took a while to convince her to let him touch her, but she's fine now. She was back to kicking ass at work again Friday night."

"I didn't mean to grab her shoulder, it was an accident Alice. She fucking _screamed,_ she passed out from it right in front of me! And I could have… I swear, if I knew I never would have sent that e-mail, I never wanted to hurt her Alice. I was worried, and I was pissed off, but I'd never want to hurt her or put her in danger." His voice was so frantic, and I hated myself when I heard him blow his nose.

_He just feels guilty, that doesn't mean-_

"I fucking love her Alice, do you have any idea how fucked up that is? I don't even know her fucking name, but I'm in love with her. I haven't been able to even look at another woman since the first fucking moment I saw her. I don't know what the hell to do anymore..."

My heart skipped a beat, while a quiet sob escaped my throat. I covered my mouth, trying to force back another and not to start fucking crying.

_He thinks he loves me…?_

"I told you," Alice sang happily, and I knew she was talking to me. I was terrified of walking into view.

"What are you talking about? Told me what?" With a sigh, I forced myself to look calm, and stepped into his doorway before leaning against the frame.

He just stared at me, looking slightly confused. He wasn't crying, but he looked like he had a bit of a cold.

I wanted to fall to my knees and beg him to forgive me, to cry and tell him that I was sorry. For him to just tell me that he was okay.

But his words kept running through my head, and I realized that… nothing had changed.

He said he loved me.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't care about him too, I knew that now.

But that didn't change the fact that nothing had changed. The world didn't work like that, my problems wouldn't go away with a dramatic declaration of feeling. I couldn't be his friend. Working for him for two days was one thing, but he was too high-profile, there just wasn't any way for a friendship between us to work, let alone any more, even if I was capable of something like that.

But I wasn't.

And he deserved better.

The silence dragged on, and I took Alice's lead, my heart clenching painfully as I forced myself to sound impassive, cold. I'd apologize, try to clean the air, and just tell him straight out that we couldn't be friends. Just thinking about it made me sick.

"You look like shit, Hollywood."

"You look fucking beautiful," was his instant response. Alice bit her lip, trying to hold back her smile.

I was just… numb. I couldn't process this. I had to just get this over with. We had other stuff to do today. "Thanks. Take a shower, I want to talk to you." I quickly fled before I could freak out. Visibly.

I inspected my surroundings to distract myself. I'd never been further into his apartment than his front foyer before. It was a nice place, lots of windows, great view, nice furniture. Kind of messy, but not nearly as bad as Emmett's place used to be.

And he had the most gorgeous, shiny black grand piano sitting in the corner of the room. I went to touch it, and then stopped myself before taking a seat on his couch. There were three guitars arranged in one corner, and a large entertainment center with books, DVDs, records, and even more CDs than I owned. Oh, and you couldn't miss all the awards. I had no idea what any of them were, but some of the shapes seemed kind of familiar. None of it was helping with the surrealism of my situation, and Alice joined me a second later.

"I told you so," she said again happily, dropping down next to me. I didn't know what to say. "Hey-"

"Sorry, I just need a minute to think," I said, leaning my face in my hands. I knew he had a bit of a crush on me, but to hear him say that he thought he loved me? What good could I accomplish by being here?

I didn't want to hurt him. Again.

Why couldn't things just be easy in my life, just for once?

"I don't want to hurt him Alice."

She leaned against me. "It's okay, I get that you can't… be that for him. That's not what this is about, I'm not trying to set you guys up. But you can't deny that you guys have a… connection. A really unusual one, yes, but I think you'd enjoy being his friend. You don't even have to do that though, we're just here to clear the air. It's okay."

I nodded, and took out my new phone when it buzzed in my pocket. There was a video attachment from Emmett, and Alice leaned over to watch when I opened it.

It was a clip of security footage from the gym, and I quickly identified the man running on a treadmill.

"That's one of Emmett's friends, Garrett," I pointed out quietly, and we both watched the video feed curiously, grinning when we saw Emmett walking up behind him with a whistle in his mouth. There was no audio, but we knew the exact moment Emmett blew because Garrett faltered, tripping, and was thrown off the treadmill. Alice burst out laughing just as her brother walked in.

He looked much better, his wet hair sticking up in all directions, clean clothes. I liked him much better in this look, jeans and that tight black t-shirt, compared to his usual fancy suits. It didn't look like he'd shaved in quite a while, and I had to admit, he could really pull off the scruffy look.

Alice must have noticed me staring at him, and followed my gaze.

"Are you sure it's okay if I stay?"

_Don't you dare desert me now Alice_. "Of course, this will only take a minute. I'm better at controlling my temper with you around, pixie." She gave me an understanding look though, and I think she saw that I was close to my breaking point. This was _so_ not my thing. I looked back over at her brother, and froze when he walked over and dropped down next to me on the couch without breaking eye contact.

My words caught in my throat, and my pulse was pounding loudly in my ears.

"I'm sorry," he said, before I could. His sincerity was undoubtable.

"I know, but you shouldn't be." I hated that he felt the need to fucking apologize, this my my fault. He didn't deserve it. His eyes widened, and I knew now I needed to say it. Before I lost my nerve. I huffed, suddenly incredibly annoyed with the mess that he was turning my mind into. Irritation and anger were easier for me to deal with though. "As much of an asshole as you were, I don't actually believe you want me to die, if what you said to Alice in your room was actually true."

He surprised me again when he didn't falter, although his face did flush adorably. "It is."

Fuck, he was not making this easy, and it pissed me off even more. I pinched the bridge of my nose, trying to reign in my temper before I lost control of it. I knew I would sound like a bitch, and I hated myself for it, but it was what needed to be done. "Okay, yeah, whatever. The point is, you didn't know what you were really doing, how could you have? You wanted answers, and I can't really blame you because I would have done the exact same thing. Fuck, I won't even talk to someone unless I do a background check on them first."

"Did you do one on me?" Alice asked with a big smile. I was immensely relieved by the slight distraction.

"Oh yeah, loads of them." I looked back at her brother, feeling slightly calmer. "Point is, there was no harm done, and it was an accident."

_And I'm so fucking sorry, you didn't deserve it._

"Are you serious? I can never fucking tell when you're being serious."

This was the worst apology in the world, and after what he'd seen of me, I didn't blame him for not believing me. I wanted to do more, but there was no way to do that without sending mixed signals.

I put all my effort into trying to put some sort or normalcy into the atmosphere again, but it was hard, because I really had no fucking idea what normal was anymore. The look on his face was killing me, I really wanted to see him smile one last time. "Yes Romeo, I'm being fucking serious."

He looked at me in confusion. "Romeo?"

"You're being fucking tragic right now." I winked at him, hoping he saw that I was joking and not really making fun of him. Alice laughed when he did, and she gave me a hug. He was watching us with a bit of amusement. He had thick skin. I liked that he never really seemed insulted by my teasing. Most people didn't understand my sense of humour.

"I'm sorry for grabbing your shoulder," he said suddenly. I knew he hadn't meant to hurt me though, he was just trying to stop me from running out in a rage.

"Don't be, you were lucky you had an easy shot, else you'd probably be in the hospital right now."

His hand went automatically to his ribs, and my stomach shifted nervously when I remember kicking him. Hard.

Shit, what if I broke something? No, I couldn't risk him being hurt. I narrowed my eyes at him, knowing from experience that people argued less when they were intimidated. "Let me see," I ordered.

"What?"

"Let me see your rib," I said sternly. He watched me for a moment, then sighed as he leaned back and lifted up his shirt.

_Hello abs._

Shut up!

I ignored the queasiness in my stomach as I tested his ribs around the large bruise. None of them moved too much though, and I would have been able to tell by his reaction if there was a break. The bruise was bad, but not bad enough to indicate serious internal bleeding. "Nothing's broken, just bad bruising," I told him.

Like that made anything any fucking better. I broke into his home and attacked him, hurt him, and he hadn't even lifted a finger against me. He just let me.

And he fucking apologized to me. He was sitting here next to me, looking at me like he was worried I'd just fucking disappear.

I could barely fucking breathe, knowing I didn't deserve to.

Consequences be damned, I just couldn't fucking do this anymore. I'd do anything in my fucking power to deserve his forgiveness. I needed to make this right, and I just couldn't take myself hating… myself more than I already did.

Being a bitch to him had never accomplished anything anyways, which made it a bit easier just to drop that fucking ruse.

"Look, I... I'm sorry for hurting you, for handling the situation like I did. I'm not going to make any excuses for myself, because it won't change anything. But I wish I'd handled it differently."

I got up quickly before he could see the moisture building in my eyes, and went over to his kitchen. A cold compress would be good for that bruise, and it was obvious to me he'd done absolutely nothing to treat it. There was a box of Ziploc bags on his counter, and I took one then filled it with ice from his freezer. It took a minute to find something to wrap it in, but I located his drawer of dishtowels and used one of those. I caught his voice as I walked back in.

"Alice I have no fucking clue what's going on. None of this makes any goddamn sense."

"What doesn't make any sense?" I asked. He watched me curiously as I came back in and sat down next to him, and put the ice pack gently down on his bruise under his shirt, so it wouldn't get wet.

Yeah, sure. Nice excuse, nurse Swan.

He let out a soft sigh though, and I was thankful I was able to at least do something somewhat right.

A fucking bag of ice, like that made any fucking different in the list of my sins.

"Emmett said you were in witness protection," he stated, and I got it. No doubt he found Emmett's over-simplification of our situation more confusing than helpful. I sighed, because no, I didn't want to fucking talk about this, but I owed him at least that much.

"That would be over-simplifying things to the extreme. I'm not in some sort of witness protection program... anymore. Not really."

"What does that mean?"

"It means the government, the FBI, the police, I can't fucking trust any of them. Every time they've tried to hide me or protect me, they've almost gotten me killed. I've been out for about three years now."

I hated making excuses for myself, but I needed to try and explain not only my reaction, but my brother's as well. Because as bad as I felt about what happened, I knew Emmett would never apologize to Edward, not when it came to protecting me. Not after what had happened in LA.

"The way I handled things with you were wrong, but if your lawyer had looked into the information you sent him, he would have found out that there are no females under payroll at Rose's club. He would have hired a private investigator. They would have followed me, they would have found my other establishments of employment, and they would have found out about my aliases, and _then_ they would have found out about Emmett. Fuck... it's a lot to explain, but its happened before. That's why Emmett freaked out on you, he was afraid of it happening again. We've never been safe this long before, what we've been doing here is working."

"But why'd you even come to LA with me?"

I gave him a sad smile, and as much as I really didn't want to hurt him, or let him put any of this fucking situation on himself, I just needed to start being truthful and stick to it sometime. "Because I didn't think you would back off, and that maybe the extended time would have made you... give up? Hopefully you'd lose curiosity, and wouldn't be tempted to dig further. Besides, I'm good at hiding my face. It's names I worry about."

He flinched, and my hand twitched forward to try to comfort him, and the motion was equal parts surprising and confusing, but I just clenched my fist and moved my hand back to my lap, where it couldn't fucking hurt him again.

He really should press charges against me, and I felt bad that I couldn't just let him, because I think it might have made me feel a bit better.

Another thing to apologize about, but this time I needed to warn him, because if he tried to talk about me again I had no doubt Emmett would kill him. Not that I really thought Edward would. "And I understand if you want to contact the police, or press charges on me. But if you do it, I'll warn you now that I'll know as soon as you do. I'll disappear, and they'll never catch me. I don't exist. So you might as well as just tell me now if those are your intentions."

"No!" He said, quickly and loudly, looking panicked for a second before he cleared his throat and spoke more calmly. "I mean, no, I had no intention of contacting the authorities."

Another stab through the heart, even though I'd already guessed as much. His anger would have been much easier to deal with.

His mind looked like it was spinning in circles, but I knew my story was fucking complicated, and just the little he knew now was probably hard to absorb. So I sat there, really not uncomfortable with his proximity, watching him, waiting, praying he'd change his mind and tell me he hated me. Having him hate me would be easier than hating myself on my own.

He had the most gorgeous eyes I'd ever seen in my life, I never let myself look at them for this long before, and I felt like I was drowning.

But when he did speak, there was still no anger. He was looking at me in understanding. "You know, I would do anything to protect my family too. I understand why you did what you did. I was angry, and wish I could have handled it differently too."

My hopefulness made me feel guilty, but the word fell out before I could think of it. "Truce?"

His brilliant smile made my stomach flip. "Definitely."

I really needed to get out of here, especially because of the fact that I didn't want to. This whole thing was just too much for me, I nodded to his icepack, grasping for strings for some sort of fucking distraction. "Fifteen minutes on fifteen minutes off for an hour a couple times a day."

"So let's get this straight. You're a body guard slash head of security for New York's biggest night club, a librarian who also teaches classes at a gym, and now you're a doctor too?"

"Not a doctor, I just did a bit of training as an EMT." Wait, did he say library? How did he-

"Anything else?"

I didn't want to lie, but did not want to get into the intricate fucking minefield that was my educational background, so I just shrugged.

"So… does this mean I'm not banned anymore? Can I come see you?"

The guilt rolled through me again. Why did the idea of making him sad hurt so fucking much? I knew what I should have said, but I couldn't. I couldn't treat him like that anymore. "I don't know if that's a good idea."

And I saw it clearly, the pain in his eyes, and I hated myself for causing it. Even if I had just told him a straight-out no, the same thing would have happened. This choice was only easier for me to live with.

"Why?"

Because I'm so bad for you in so many ways. Because you should be fucking running away from me, screaming, but you're looking at me like _that._

"Because it wouldn't be fair for me to let you waste your time with this, knowing what your feelings are."

I was surprised by the grin on his face. "I'm not asking you to fucking marry me, I'm just asking for a chance to get to know you."

I looked at him in shock for a second, but my laugh was insuppressible. My whole body shook with it, to the point where it pulled at my side uncomfortably. Nothing phased this guy. I actually thought it was really fucking impressive, there just seemed to be so much… more to him than I thought that first time I saw him come into the club. Not really the shallow asshole that he'd come off as at first.

That, or he's gotten me completely fooled, but I didn't really think that was the case anymore.

I ignored the confused look Alice gave us. My stomach was healing well, but my own ribs were still bruised pretty bad from the shots they'd taken that night in the alley. I saw that he noticed this, and we shared a little knowing look.

We were comrades in the whole abdominal pain field right now.

I couldn't tell him that he could come see me, because I had spent too much time around their group in the club, and he attracted a lot of attention when he was there. I didn't want people to start noticing me, I was an employee who was ignored in the most part by a room full of snobby rich people. Sometimes I wasn't very discreet during moments of my work, but Rose's drinks are really well priced, and business is always good in the VIP room.

Of course he wasn't banned though, I'd take care of Emmett.

"You're not banned, but if you keep checking out my ass every time I turn around I'll beat you up again."

He didn't deny it, laughing again, and was thrown into the same physical discomfort as I was.

I needed to leave before I found some way to ruin this good progress.

It was selfish, but I wanted to savour this tiny sliver of relief. And I knew he had more questions, and I'd answer them. Even though I didn't want to, but I owed it to him. I just couldn't handle it yet though.

I stood up, surprising him slightly. "Okay, well, we got to get going."

He composed himself quickly, and spoke in an easy voice. "What are you ladies up to today?"

I grinned, rubbing my hands together excitedly. It was going to be a fun afternoon, even if it was going to hurt like a bitch.

"Rose wants to lose ten pounds before the wedding, I'm joining in for moral support," Alice said excitedly.

His face paled. "And you're getting _her_ to help you?"

There was a compliment in there somewhere.

"Of course, what's wrong with that?"

"What are you going to get them to do?" He asked me.

"Just a bit of spinning and some fun with some medicine balls." He laughed, and gave Alice a tight hug.

"Remember Alice, I've always loved you, and you're the most amazing sister in the world."

"Why are you telling me this?" She said, sounding a little exasperated.

"Because I've seen what she does to people in that gym, and this is probably going to be the last time I see you alive."

Yes, definitely a compliment. I clapped him on the shoulder. "You can be really sweet sometimes, Hollywood."

He walked us over to his door, and watched from his doorway as we walked over to the elevator.

I watched the number slowly climbing up, his words running around and around in my head.

'_I fucking love her Alice, do you have any idea how fucked up that is? I don't even know her fucking name, but I'm in love with her.'_

I sprinted back over to him without a thought or word to Alice, and he looked at me in shock. I held out my hand, an offer, and he took it with a curious expression.

"Hi, I'm Bella."

His eyes went wide, and a slow smile spread over his face.

And I felt damn good being the one to put it there.

"Okay, that's enough estrogen for me. See you around, Hollywood." I spun around and made it back to Alice just as the doors opened, and didn't let myself look back to him. I don't know if he knew just how much it meant to me to give out that name, but it didn't really matter. I just wanted him to have it. It was the only name that meant anything to me, so it was the only one I wanted to give to him.

"What did you say to him?" She asked with a curious smile.

"My name," I said back, with a small smile of my own.

. . . . . . . . . .

To an onlooker, the last week would have seemed completely normal. Nothing out of the ordinary. I guess that was true, but something felt different.

And not necessarily in a good way.

I felt like I was slipping. I thought clearing the air with Hollywood would have reduced my stress, but I was starting to feel a little crazier each day. The nightmares were bad, had been more than usual since the night with James. My physical wounds healed, but I became more on edge every day. The exhaustion was wearing on me, making it difficult to eat, which stole even more of my non-existent energy.

At first I had blamed it on the nerves, wondering how Hollywood would act around me now that he knew so much. I had almost called in sick to work on Friday, but it hadn't been necessary. Alice and her brother went out of town with their parents for her mother's birthday.

That hadn't helped at all though. I wouldn't admit it to anyone, but I'd almost been a little… disappointed when he hadn't shown up.

Anyways, the lack of sleep and appetite were definitely getting to me. I had an even shorter fuse than usual, and was constantly looking over my shoulder. The new security monitor I had installed in the stairwell to see into the alley didn't help much at all.

It took me a whole week to figure it out. It was Thursday when I looked at my calendar and put it together, then finally felt myself calm a little. It was easier, having a reason for the paranoia. It always happened at this time of year.

Tomorrow was my birthday.

When I saw that number Thursday night, I broke down and let all the pain pour out through my tears, and cried myself into a long sleep.

. . . ... . . .

It wasn't what I was expecting that night, but almost just as bad.

I was back in the van, I knew as soon as I felt the movement of the road underneath me.

And then the car stopped.

_No no no…_

The door flew open, and as usual I tried to push myself away with my legs, but he laughed as always, pulling me back towards him.

But today I didn't try to scream.

I glared at him.

I hated him so fucking much.

And that's when I saw it, the movement in the corner of my vision.

And Edward barreled forward like a bat out of hell, breaking the glass bottle over Victor's head.

And he disappeared.

Edward cut the tape off of my hands, then tried to be gentle with the tape on my mouth, before carefully helping me out of the van, holding me protectively.

"You're safe now," he whispered.

And for some reason, I believed him.

"Thank you," I whispered back, and then floated into a peaceful, deep sleep.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Big chapter for Bella, how do you feel about seeing her side of that day? Leave me some love or hate, reviews are the ultimate motivator for writing ;)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Stephanie Meyer owns the Twilight characters, I just own the plot that they're playing in.**

. . . . . . . . . .

When I woke up, the sun was barely starting to rise, and I smiled while stretching lazily in my bed.

That had to be the best, non-medicated sleep I had ever had. I felt fresh, energetic, and… happy. It was a drastic change to the chaos that had been my mind for so long now.

Edward saved me.

I knew it was a dream, but it didn't make it any less meaningful to me. Besides, it wasn't like he hadn't actually done that in real life.

I rubbed my hands over my face, trying to physically remove my grin, but I just couldn't.

Birthdays, anniversaries, and Friday the thirteenths be damned, today was going to be a good fucking day.

I made a smoothie and took Zeus up to the roof before having a nice long shower, braiding my hair, and getting dressed to go for a run. I pulled my bike out of my closet, packed up my basket, put on my big sunglasses and then Zeus and I took our time making the long trek to Central Park. After locking up the bike, giving Zeus a drink while I did my stretches, and setting up my music, we started our laps around the lake.

My mood just kept getting better. It was a beautiful day, the sun shining brightly and fairly warmly for this time of year, my shuffled music only played awesome songs, and the park was oddly deserted, even for this time of day, even on a Friday.

We were just about to come up on our last lap, when another jogger started to pass me. I almost started to speed up, just out of principle, until I saw who it was.

Edward waved with a bright smile, and I slowed to a stop, pulling off my headphones so that they wrapped around my neck.

He wasn't in my immediate space bubble, but too close for a stranger as Zeus knew him to be. My boy was quick to jump in between us and protect me, and I saw Hollywood's face blanch quickly.

"Zeus!" I said in a commanding voice, and his response was instant. I gave him our visual command to lie down, and he immediately did so in the grass by my feet.

Such a good boy.

I smiled back up at Edward, pushing my sunglasses back on my head, not really caring to be surprised by the joy I felt seeing him after what he did. Or my subconscious made him do. Either way, I was tempted to say thank you, but I didn't want to have to explain why. "Hey, what's up?"

He just stared, and I was worried he might have a phobia of dogs. Had Zeus scared him?

"Don't worry, he'd never hurt you. He's just protective. Well, he wouldn't unless I _told_ him to," I joked, not actually joking. He didn't need to know that. Besides, I fight my own battles, I'd never let Zeus get into a situation where he could be hurt.

He was still looking at me oddly, and I wiped at my face, wondering if I had something on me.

Hmm... It looks like the socially awkward version of himself has made a reappearance. I bit back a laugh.

God, I couldn't stop smiling.

He cleared his throat. "Sorry, I just saw you running and had to say hi. How's it going?"

"Great, you?"

He seemed to relax a bit. "I'd have to say amazing. You seem like you're in a good mood today, what's up?"

I definitely wasn't going to tell him that it was thanks to him. His ego was big enough as it was, it didn't need to know I'd had a dream about him.

And I definitely didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

"I just have the feeling that today is going to be a good day." Zeus was being so good and patient, and I knelt down to scratch behind his ears. His tongue rolled out of his mouth, and he looked almost as happy as I felt.

He shifted uncomfortably, and I wondered if he was regretting his decision to talk to me. Was it hard for him? Did he think it would be better to just let his little crush go? Maybe he'd finally realized that I just wasn't worth the trouble, or danger.

"Have you been out here long?"

Yes, his voice was getting strained. I wouldn't hold him back though; I'd let him go politely when he told me he was finished and had to go.

"Not really. I usually just do two laps, I still got one more. You?"

"Same," I was surprised by his nervous smile. "Would you guys, uh, like some company for a bit?"

That surprised me. It would have been nice to have a running buddy. Emmett ran, but not like I did. I was an endurance runner, I liked long distances. Emmett strapped on every weight he could find and did quick spurts, and talked way too much.

"Sure… I don't really talk while I run though."

"Me neither," he said easily, putting his headphones back in and gesturing for me to lead the way. I smiled at him, sliding my glasses and headphones back on before nodding Zeus ahead and taking off.

I was still a little put off that he had passed me earlier. Whenever I saw him at the gym he was usually at a brisk jog, so I decided to see what his range was. I started off easy, and slowly but fluidly progressed until we were practically sprinting.

He showed no signs of tapping out, and I was pretty impressed. I slowed back down to a walk once we finished our lap, slightly begrudgingly.

I was actually having fun… and didn't really want to say goodbye to him. How lame would it be to ask him to play fetch with Zeus and I? He followed me as I made my way over to my bicycle though, and I poured Zeus some water. He was a little too eager, and I worried that he'd choke, so I told him to slow down. He was such a smart boy.

"So, do you come here often?" He said suddenly, breaking our silence.

Did he seriously just ask that? That line seemed a little below his level, and I saw his face sicken slightly, like he was startled he had said it. I rolled my eyes teasingly.

"Very original, Hollywood. I really expected more from you." I didn't want to shrug off his question, but I found myself hesitating. Yes, he knew about some of my secrets now, but I'd never just had a normal conversation as Bella with him before. What if I was bad at it? Why did the idea of not meeting his expectations make me so uneasy and nervous?

Zeus, perceptive as always, quickly caught onto my nerves, and tried to protect me from the only thing that could be close enough to be considered a threat; he growled at Edward again. I snapped my fingers quickly, catching his attention, and he sat back down beside me.

"Sorry, it's just kind of weird talking about… myself," I said, and he looked a little confused.

I didn't want to speak to him in half riddles anymore.

"I only come on Thursdays and Fridays, I like it better during the day when it's not as busy."

He thought about that for a moment. "So I take it Monday to Wednesday you work at the Library?" I was shocked, and immediately suspicious. I had thought he'd said something before… but how did he know? Had he followed me? No, there was no way. I would have known. He looked a little worried, then looked around us carefully before speaking. "Before I knew you were Emmett's sister, he told me his little sister worked at a Library. I was running with him one time when he asked you to cover a spinning class."

Ah, Emmett. Of course. I shook my head, and was surprised to find that I really wasn't angry. Zeus had finished his water, so I put his bowl away and took out the Frisbee. "So, you biked here?"

I'm in a good mood, I'll just let that one pass. "Yeah, it takes about forty minutes. " I looked at him curiously, wondering if he took a cab here to go for a run. For some reason, he didn't own a car. "You don't live close exactly either," I pointed out in lieu of a question.

"Forty minute walk. I don't like running around my block."

I smiled, finding that I liked having something in common with him.

"I hear you, it can be so boring running around on cement. If I lived closer I'd run here every day." I still wasn't ready to say goodbye, even with Zeus impatiently eying the Frisbee, and I completely threw myself out of my comfort zone. "What are you up to now?"

"I usually just grab a coffee and read the paper for a while, would you like one?"

"Oh, no thanks. Coffee makes me all jittery," I said automatically, and worried I had come off as rude when he frowned. I made myself force out the rest of my words before he could flee. "But, uh, I'm still sticking around for a while if you still wanted to… hang out?"

He grinned happily, and I relaxed.

"Sure."

I bit back my triumphant smile, trying to remain cool. "Oh, okay. Well go ahead and grab your coffee, we'll just be over there." I gestured to the open field before grabbing my basket and making my way over there. As soon as I threw the disk, Zeus barreled after it, jumping and catching it in the air before coming back. He was running off again before the disk hit the ground by my feet.

"That's cheating!" I said, throwing the disk hard. He circled and caught it again.

Hollywood didn't join us, but he sat close by with his paper in the grass, next to my basket. Zeus made it known when he was tired, walking over to him like he'd known him his entire life, and dropped down in the grass next to him.

It was pretty adorable, and I tried not to run over too quickly to join them. As I was walking over, I saw him smiling, and he reached out to pet Zeus but stopped himself at the last second and dropped his hand. It was a little strange, I was certain he hadn't growled at him.

Maybe he_ was_ afraid of dogs. He looked like he had really wanted to pet him though.

"You can pet him if you want, just let him sniff your hand first," I said, dropping down next to my boy and holding my hand in front of his snout for a second before ruffling his fur. He was definitely settling in for a nap, and completely ignored Edward as he copied my motions.

And he grinned like a kid on Christmas. It was adorable.

"Have you never pet a dog before?"

"What?"

"You're grinning like a two year old with a new bike," I said with a laugh.

He rolled his eyes at me. "I've pet dogs before. I love them, I always wanted one growing up, but my dad's allergic," he explained. Alice had told me that too.

"Mine was too," I said without thinking, smiling as I remembered Emmett and I begging Charlie _thousands_ of times to let us get a dog. Then I realized what I said, and hoped he didn't ask about him. I was having a great day, and didn't want to go down that road right now. I pulled my book of out my basket to occupy my hands and give me something acceptable to look at.

"What's that?" He asked curiously, with a nod towards my book. I bit back the obvious answer; a book. He was really helping me censor myself, not wanting to do anything that might upset him. Just the idea of making him frown was starting to hurt me.

I wanted him to like me, yes. But even more I just wanted to be someone who was _likeable_. I wanted to be better. It wasn't like I enjoyed being pissed off or depressed all the time.

"Inheritance," I said, hoping he wouldn't think I was trying to be anti-social. It felt sort of… surreal almost, hanging out with him like this. Just halving a nice, normal conversation with someone new.

And this _was _new, it was the first time we'd sat alone together and talked since he found out who I really was. This was _real_ now, and it made all the difference to me. It had been two months since he'd come to New York, but he'd kind of been in my life for much longer. I knew so much about him, but nothing at the same time. I'd gone from thinking about him as the sweet boy who had played my brother, to hating him, then tolerating him, and now… this.

I liked being near him. I liked listening to his voice and seeing him smile. I _really_ liked looking at him.

Too much. I liked all of those things _too much_.

"What's it about?"

"A dragon rider, magic, elves, dwarves… that sort of stuff," I said absently, still very much troubled with the path my mind was taking.

"Oh, like that Eragon movie?"

"Yes, actually." I frowned. I'd hated that movie, thought they'd butchered it. Solembum wasn't even in it! I loved the werecats. "This is the last book in that series."

"And this displeases you why?"

I loved the way he had phrased that, and grinned before answering as best as I could. "I really like the series, but it never should have been made into a movie. I find that the intricacy of the story is one of the series' best qualities, and those sorts of things are lost when shoved into a two hour time limit."

He nodded, I guess understanding me after all, and picked his paper back up. I took that as a cue to stop talking, and opened up my book.

I loved this book, and shouldn't have brought it today. I got completely absorbed in it, but could still almost feel him looking at me every time I turned a page. I tried to do it more quietly. I was thoroughly enjoying this though; I loved to read, but didn't have any friends that enjoyed it on the same level that I did. It was neat, just sitting next to someone and reading.

Doing something I enjoyed, but not having to be alone to do so.

"So, you like reading?" He asked suddenly. There was something incredibly hilarious about the way he asked that innocent, awkward little question, and I laughed out aloud while hiding my face in my book.

"Yeah, you could say that." I did, it just took a strong story to hold my attention. Hence the tons of only partially-read books on my shelves, but he wouldn't know that. Besides, books that I didn't like made excellent hiding spots.

"Why?"

"I find it relaxing, I guess. Sometimes it's nice to live in someone else's universe instead of my own for a while." I looked over at him, and when my eyes met his, he gave me that charming, crooked smile.

"I feel the exact same way. I still remember when I was young, I'd sometimes get so lost in a story, and in my mind it was like I _was_ the protagonist, trying to picture exactly how they would feel, why they would do what they did. It's why I wanted to become an actor, I loved recreating it so much that I wanted to find some way to do it for the rest of my life."

His face was so animated, his enthusiastic smile contagious. It really felt like the most personal thing I'd ever heard about him. Yes, he's talked about family, friends, his ex before… but none of it was really _him_, just what others were doing in his life. Looking at the sparkle in his eyes right now, it was too easy to picture him as a child, hidden behind a book and getting happily lost in another universe.

Which is exactly what I did.

"For me, when I read a story, it just puts a million different possibilities into my mind, and most of the time I run away with those ideas, and they morph together, and it makes all these other stories develop in my mind. When I was a kid, I wanted to do nothing more than write them all down and see where they would take me. Make something tangible of my own, you know?"

He nodded with a smile. "Did you?"

"Did I what?"

"Write any of your own stories?"

I literally felt like he had taken out a knife and stabbed me in the chest. It took me a second to collect myself before I was able to offer him a neutral smile.

"I did, once. But it didn't work out very well."

"What do you mean? Just a bad plot?"

A sarcastic laugh escaped my lips before I could contain it. Bad plot? God, he has no idea how bad of a plot it really was. In one sense anyways, it ended up making us each a few million. "I'm sorry, can we just… talk about something else?" That heavy weight had settled over my chest again, making it hard to breathe, like the weight of it might just shatter me, and I automatically wrapped my arms around my torso to try and squeeze the sensation out and hold myself together at the same time.

"Yeah, of course," he said easily. I really don't know how he had the patience to converse with me, but he didn't seem bothered in the slightest for being deterred once again. The man was a saint, which went against what most people have told me about him. I took a steadying breath before looking at him, and pulled down my glasses a little to see him better. He was watching me back, and every second that passed I felt myself getting pulled deeper and deeper into his eyes. I then decided that I really didn't care what anyone else thought about him. I wanted to know the man who was in front of me right_ now_.

"What sort of things do you like to do in your spare time?"

He seemed a little startled for some reason, and took his time answering. "I like running, video games… nothing too exciting."

Hmm. I hadn't pegged him as the type to be uncomfortable talking about himself. I was good at getting information from people though. I tried to think of something I wanted to know more about, and that beautiful piano I had seen immediately popped into my mind. Alice had mentioned something about him playing. I wondered why he hadn't mentioned that. "You have a grand piano at your apartment. Is that just a fancy decoration?"

"Uh, no. I play," he said, in a tone implying he had completely forgotten.

"Well, that's something that can be considered exciting," I pointed out, then looked back towards my book so he wouldn't feel like I was pushing him. I realized then how selfish it was of me to pry for details about him when I already knew so much.

It must be horrible, being a celebrity. Lots of people knew a lot about him.

"What sort of music do you like?"

"Anything and everything except for country. I have a zero tolerance policy for country music. You?"

"Mostly classical and classic rock."

That wasn't bad. "Cool." I wanted to ask him about bands and favourites, if he played music like that on his piano, or any of those beautiful guitars he had, but I felt too guilty.

"So, do your parents live in the area too?"

Shit. Be cool, maybe he'll just let it pass. "No."

"Oh. Do you still see them often?"

I hadn't been able to visit Charlie's grave since I've come to New York, it just wasn't safe. The realization that it had been three years was sobering. "Not really," I evaded.

"So you're not very close?" This seemed to really surprise him for some reason, and I saw that he just wasn't going to drop this easily.

"I was close with my dad, but he died when I was seventeen. My mom died giving birth to me, so I never met her. It's just me, Emmett and Rose."

"Oh, I'm sorry," he said softly.

"Don't worry about it." I really hoped he didn't get all awkward now. "Are you close with your parents?"

"Very, although I wasn't for a while. I'm glad I changed that." I had figured he was, Alice told me that both of them got together for dinner with their parents about twice a week. I couldn't keep this up with him, the guilt was eating away at me now. "What's wrong? I'm sorry if I-"

"No, it's not you," I assured him quickly. "I'm sorry, this is just really fucking weird. I feel guilty and weird asking these questions, because I already know so much about you."

"What do you mean?"

Might as well get this over with now. "Well, first I'll mention the obvious. You're a fucking movie star, billions of people know tons of shit about you. But the night after you came to the club and were being a fucking weirdo, I did a background check on you to make sure you weren't dangerous." Shit, my brain to mouth filter, or lack thereof, was screwing this up. "It's a habit of mine, but I won't say it's a bad one because I'm used to my intuition being pretty spot on, and it's helped me out a lot before." If I hadn't done it, Emmett and I could be dead right now, if I hadn't out that tracker in his e-mail. But then again, he probably wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been so dead-set on not trusting him sooner.

He seemed unbothered, yet curious. "And what did you learn about me?"

"I know that your father is the chief of staff at his hospital, that your mother is a landscaper, I know all about your sister of course, and then your cousin is like a sister to me, so I know about more of your family. I know you lived in LA for the past five years before coming back here. You're record is completely clean. You're apparently a fucking genius and got crazy awesome grades in school, especially in music. I didn't really dig any further than that. Alice really loves you, you know. And she seemed to really trust you, so I let it go."

I just couldn't bring myself to mention the movie. I couldn't. Besides, he already knew a shit ton more than most anyone has ever learned about me. He knew enough.

I still felt like shit.

"Hmm."

What? What did that mean? He didn't seem angry, but maybe he was trying to think of a polite way to say "No thank-you," and walk away now. I needed something more to go on. "Aren't you mad?"

"No, it's just a little unfair that you know so much more about me than I do about you," his voice was teasing, and I felt myself smiling slightly. "I think we need to even out the playing field a little bit."

There was only so much I could tell him, but I could play along for now. "Any how would you like to do that?"

"Answer some more of my questions."

"I'm not making any promises, but you can try me."

The look he gave me made my stomach flutter. I wasn't sure if I was nervous or excited, or maybe it was a bit of both.

"What's your favourite food?"

Okay, that was harmless. I felt myself relax, and lay back in the grass. "Pasta. I love spicy food too. Mexican. I _love_ pizza." He copied my movement, lying back also.

"Favourite TV show?"

"Hmm... I don't really watch much TV, but I got Netflix a little while ago and am hooked on the Walking Dead."

"Why don't you watch TV?"

"No time, I keep pretty busy. And I guess you could say that I'm a little… impatient? Commercials annoy the shit out of me. I prefer to read."

"Do you have a favourite movie?"

Oh, I wasn't even going to touch that field. "I'll skip that one."

"How do you know Marcus Volturi?"

Same boat. "Skip."

"How long have you had Zeus?"

"Almost four years."

"How many boyfriends have you had?"

I froze at that one. I'd never actually dated someone. I'd never been on an official date, gone to a movie with a boy or anything like that. I just couldn't. All there had been was… Victor. "Skip."

"Oh, come on. Please?"

"No." Of all the things to push for, that was probably the worst.

"Okay okay, your favourite dessert?" Thank god.

"Anything with chocolate in it."

"Colour?"

"Purple."

"Seriously?"

"What's wrong with that?" Purple was a beautiful colour, and if he called me girly I'd break his pretty nose.

"Nothing, I was just expecting you to say black." I rolled my eyes, starting to think this grin was going to become permanent if we kept this up.

"Black is a shade, not a color," I pointed out, earning me a smile. My phone rang, and it was Rose's tune. I had a bad feeling about this, but answered anyways. "Hey Hun."

"Happy Birthday Bella! Are you ready? We're coming to pick you up!"

"Why? What are you making me do?" Rose had tried to dress me up and take me to the club last year. I had used my excuse that I was technically only twenty to get my way out of it. I didn't have that option this year.

"We're having a spa day, you me and Alice. It's a birthday present, and already paid for," she told me knowingly. "No refunds."

"Ugh! I thought you loved me, why are you doing this to me?"

"Please? I've been thinking a lot about what you said a couple weeks ago and… I want that too Bella. I just want to do something fun together."

Ah, the master of guilt. She knew how to convince me, and my voice came out much softer.

"Yeah, I know."

"Excellent! We might have some other things planned afterwards, and you better not get all defensive about-"

"Fine! Don't even try to fucking guilt trip me though, I know you're fully aware of what you're doing."

"Excellent! So, we're coming to pick you up," she repeated, and I realized then that if they got me, they were taking away my own personal transportation, and with that any quick means of escape.

"Sure. Give me an hour or two, I gotta go home and have a shower first." I hung up before she could find out what I was doing right now, and looked back over at Hollywood. He was watching me with a disappointed expression.

"Who was that?"

I sighed. "Rose. Apparently I'm being kidnapped for the day. I need get home."

"Oh, okay. You working tonight? I was thinking about swinging by."

I was filled with a flutter of excitement, until I remembered Rose's call. She wouldn't let me work today, of that I was sure, but I was fairly certain she would drag me to the club at some point. Did I want him to see me after whatever Rose and Alice tried to do with me?

He seemed happy hanging out with me when I was all sweaty and in my workout clothes, could their spa day leave me any worse off?

It didn't really matter, because I _wanted_ to see him. I wanted to keep talking to him. "I might be around there for a little while, not quite sure at the moment really."

He looked worried for a quick second, but it morphed into an excited smile.

"Cool, hopefully I see you."

Shit, those words really shouldn't excite me this much. But they did. I got up, clipped on Zeus' leash, and he went from slumber mode to ready-to-run-a-marathon in the blink of an eye. I looked back at Hollywood, and our eyes locked for a moment.

What was I supposed to do? Alice was a hugger, should I give him a hug?

Nope, can't do that.

Maybe a hardy handshake? Fistbump?

_Get out of here before you make an ass out of yourself._

"Okay. Well, bye."

"Bye."

I didn't let myself look back as we made our way over to my bike and left the park. We made our way back to my apartment in twenty-five minutes while I took out my frustration on my pedals. Zeus went to his bed and crashed after almost drowning himself in his bowl of water and I jumped in the shower.

It's not that I was nervous, it was just… I'd never done something girly like this before. Angela and I had sleepovers when we were little, but that was just watching movies about cute boys and eating candy. But a spa day?

Pretty sure that included touching, and I was not pleased by that. I knew she was doing it for what she thought was my own good, Rose liked to push me. She was worse than Emmett.

I was going out with Rose Hale and Alice Cullen, and those two could draw attention. I needed to dress carefully, and blend in with their style. I needed to look different so no one would connect me with any of my jobs. If Rose ran into a friend, I couldn't have said person noticing me from or at the club… Ugh, why does everything have to be so damn complicated all the time? With a sigh, I pinned back my hair neatly, put on my blond wig, then did my make-up very carefully before slipping into a black denim skirt, and a white blouse with a dark grey vest. After slipping on a nice pair of boots, I scowled at the stranger in the mirror before shooting off a text to Rose.

I took Zeus up to the roof one last time, and left him a big bowl of food and turned the radio on before Rose texted me back, and I went down to meet her.

She was driving, and I smiled when I saw who was in the backseat.

"Alice, why are you wearing a blindfold?"

"Happy Birthday!" She shouted, and searched blindly for me before giving me a hug. I laughed.

"Are you supposed to be my present? That sweet's, but I don't swing that way."

She laughed. "No, but I didn't think you'd want me to know where you lived, but I wanted to come, and this was an easy fix."

I pulled the blindfold off, feeling horrible. "I'm sorry Alice, I didn't mean to-"

"Nope! Cheer up! Even Jasper doesn't know where you live. I get it, it's like your secret base, and that's cool. I don't want you to tell me until you're comfortable, and you will be eventually."

"Has anyone ever told you how awesome you are?"

"Not yet today," she said with a grin, and we both laughed. "Oh my god! What are you wearing? You're adorable!"

"Oh god, shut up. I wasn't sure where you guys were taking me, so I took out one of my better disguises." I tried to pull my skirt down a bit more, but there just wasn't enough fabric, and I fidgeted uncomfortably.

. . . . . . . . . .

To say it was a long day would be an understatement, but I tried my best to keep a smile on my face for my two girly friends. The three of us went to a luxurious spa and were treated like science experiments. They got their legs waxed while I bragged about the benefits of home laser-hair removal, we had facials, some sort of seaweed wrap, and manicures and pedicures. I even went so far as to let them put clear nail polish on me. I felt like my skin was crawling constantly, and really wasn't enjoying it. But it really looked like Alice and Rose were, so I kept my mouth shut and just pushed through it.

All of that was nothing compared to the massage though. It shouldn't have freaked me out. The three of us were in the same damn room, and we all had female masseuses. When I got into that towel though I started freaking out, and I told them I didn't want to do it, but they were doing that big doe-eye fucking look and told me to just relax, that it would be fine. They looked so excited and I tried to suck it up again.

But as soon as her hands went over one of my scars I guess I sort of snapped. I didn't even remember what happened. I was lying down on the table one moment, and the next thing I knew I was curled up in the corner of the room, alone with Rose. When I calmed down enough to hear her voice and move again, I asked her if we could leave and she quickly agreed.

I felt horrible in the car. The awkward silence was pretty intense.

I should have just stayed in the park with Hollywood. Now they're walking around me like I was going to crack at any moment.

"I'm s-"

"No, Bella," Rose said, putting an arm around my shoulders. "You did nothing wrong. This was my fault, I went too far. I shouldn't have pushed you, and I'm sorry for putting you in that situation."

"Still, I should have just said something else, I just… really didn't want to ruin this for you guys."

"You didn't, and besides, this was for _you_, not us." She grinned knowingly. "Did you enjoy any of it?"

"Uh, yeah, sure," I lied. "I feel all gross and oily though, is that normal? Aren't you supposed to feel all fresh and clean after a day at the spa?"

They only laughed at me, and I felt myself relax as I smiled a little too.

"Well, no matter. We can do the rest at my place," Rose said.

"Rest of what?"

"Just smile and go with it Bella. You're not escaping that easily."

. . . . . . . . . .

I enjoyed myself much more at Rose's place than at the spa. After taking an amazing, long shower at her place, we all got dressed in fluffy robes and did our hair. Well, Rose did mine for me, but they each did their own. I had to admit it looked pretty nice in shiny, thick curls. Alice had a field day when I let her do my make-up herself. My eyelashes felt incredibly uncomfortable, but it was a necessity. I couldn't be recognized if they were dragging me to my place of work. There was no way I'd let Jake or any of my boys recognize me looking like this.

I'm Emmett's sister Bree from Chicago.

I hate Bree. Both of them, because I looked nothing like Bree from the Historical Society right now.

When we were all done, Alice came out with a large, flat box wrapped in silver foil with a pink bow, and I looked at it curiously.

"What's this?"

"A birthday present, of course. The spa was from Rose,_ this_ is from me," she said excitedly. I grinned at her, and tore it open.

I couldn't find any words when I took the beautiful dress out of the box. It was made out of this sparkling, soft, black material. It was conservative but modern with its high neck and long sleeves, and I absolutely loved it.

"Thank you Alice, it's beautiful."

"And it will fit you perfectly. Go put it on!"

"What? Why?"

"Because you're twenty-one and I'm taking you to the club this year! No one will even recognize you!" Rose was laughing excitedly.

Actually, I think cackling would be a better description. She was fucking evil.

"Please put it on! I have to head out for a bit, I'm going to meet you there later, but I want to see it first before I leave!"

With a resigned sigh, I turned around and walked back to the bathroom to get changed.

She was right, it did fit me perfectly. Of course it did though, this was obviously one of Alice's creations, and she'd lucked out with getting my measurements a couple weeks ago.

And as gorgeous as it looked, I felt extremely uncomfortable. I felt like I was asking for attention, and I knew for certain that I didn't want any.

But it was a gift, and I kept my thoughts to myself as I went back out.

Alice made that horrible squealing sound again when they saw me.

"You look amazing! I wish I could dress you up like this every day," she said wistfully.

"Not gonna happen," I warned her, not liking the look in her eyes. "It is beautiful though Alice, thank you."

"My pleasure! Well, I need to get on the move, I'll see you ladies in a couple hours!"

Rose took one look at me when the door closed, and ran to her kitchen. I followed after her, and she quickly put a large glass of white wine in my hand.

"You look like you're going to bolt," she explained. "Everything will be fine, okay? I swear, you'll have fun."

I just nodded, and downed the glass before Rose topped me up again.

. . . . . . . . . .

After Rose helped me polish off a bottle of wine, we killed some time with a bit of shopping. By a bit, I mean about two hours at Victoria's Secret. It was our thing, we usually went together about once a month. It's not like anyone ever saw what I wore under my clothes, but there was just something about wearing sexy underwear that makes you feel confident. Rose felt the exact same way, it was one of the first things we did when I was finally able to convince her to leave my apartment after I met her. We did swing by my place so I could take out Zeus for a bit, and I put on a nice pair of boots to go with my dress before Rose and I went out for dinner. Emmett got stuck at work where there was a problem with some new equipment, so it was just the two of us.

I was _not_ having fun. People kept staring at us, and it was making me extremely uncomfortable.

So I kept drinking, trying to improve my mood, but it wasn't helping. Rose was up to the challenge of just getting shitfaced with me though.

"I look ridiculous, people are staring," I whispered to her for the third time as we walked out to grab another taxi. There was a group of men, five of them, about fifteen feet away. They were whispering and looking at us. "Take a picture, it lasts longer!" I shouted at them, which made Rose burst into giggles.

"They're staring because we look hot as fuck tonight," Rose said with a flip of her hair. I huffed in annoyance, and we both stumbled into the cab, and both burst into another round of giggles when I landed headfirst into Rose's chest.

It was kind of amusing, walking into my own club. Jacob didn't recognize me at all, but I was with Rose so we just walked right on through to the annoyance of the large line of people going around the corner. My mood fell again when the stares started up once more, and I was tempted to kick every single person out of the club. I was immensely relieved once we got up to the third floor and took a seat at Rose's favourite semi-private table.

Henry dashed over, asking what Rose and her beautiful friend would be drinking tonight.

He was so fired.

He brought us each a glass of white wine first, then came over with a tray of shots.

"Shit, Rose, we probably shouldn't-"

"Not only are we celebrating, but I'm trying to cheer you the hell up. Are you saying you can't handle it?" She said, knocking back a shot.

I glared at her, and knocked back two. We kept that up until they were all gone, and I was starting to smile until some stranger came and sat next to me. I looked at him suspiciously.

"Hey there, would you like to dance?" He asked me sweetly, his eyes looking over me.

"No."

"Aw, c'mon. I'm a great dancer."

I didn't consider this, drunkenly grinding against people to a heavy beat, dancing. I could tango, salsa and waltz, but for some reason those just weren't socially acceptable in today's sort of clubs.

Not like I'd touch him either way.

"I said no, now get the fuck away from our table," I hissed. He just gave me a sweet smile, then got up and left nonchalantly.

"Way to be gentle on him," Rose teased.

"You like me because I'm _not _gentle with people, don't even try to deny it," I teased back. She grinned, and took another sip of her wine. "Oh, looks like the party is about to start," Rose said, nodding behind me.

Alice, Jasper and Hollywood walked into the room, and whereas Alice and Jasper quickly made their way over to our table, Jasper wishing me a quick and quiet happy birthday, Hollywood was looking around for something, and seemed thoroughly discouraged when he didn't find whatever it was.

Was he looking for me?

Shit, I shouldn't have done this, I look ridiculous, he's going to make fun of me.

But he just dropped into the seat next to me, completely ignoring me with that disappointed scowl on his face.

God, he smelled amazing. I was tempted to lean closer, but caught myself, and my irritation peaked. What was wrong with me? That was creepy.

"Hello to you too Edward," Rose said in her perfected sarcastic voice.

"Hey Rose," he sighed. "Where's-"

He turned his head then, looking at me, and just sort of stared. Fucking hell, what was wrong with the world today?

"Take a picture, it lasts longer," I said, not for the first time today.

"Uh-" I turned to face him, shooting him a warning look, and he burst into laughter.

I fucking knew it. I was out of here. Done. It was my birthday, and I could do whatever the hell I wanted. Asshole was too busy laughing at me to let me out of the booth, so I smacked him hard on the back of his head before hopping up on the table and sliding past him before storming off.

He came after me though, it felt like I blinked and then he was suddenly standing in front of me. I stopped, and crossed my arms over my chest. The room was spinning slightly.

"You look fucking gorgeous," he blurted out. It was too late though, he had already laughed.

"Fuck you Hollywood."

"I'm serious. I only laughed because of your expression. You're too fucking beautiful to not be smiling, the scowl was just too much for me to handle. I'm sorry."

It seemed like he was being honest, but I was pretty tanked and it made it hard to tell. The way he was looking at me… Why did it piss me off so much when other guys looked at me like that, but with him… I didn't really mind?

I liked the way he looked at me. Besides, it was different, he was usually staring at my face.

And… I didn't want to send him away. I wanted to see if we could still talk like we had this morning, or if that had been just a one-time fluke, the universe giving me a break on my birthday for once.

I sighed. "Laugh at me again, and I'll break your nose," I warned, walking back to our table.

Emmett cut me off, his eyes going wide before he burst into laughter and picked me up like a doll.

"What the fuck did Rose do to you!"

I _hated_ being picked up, and he fucking knew that. "Fuck off and put me down Emmett!"

"What, can't fight me in a dress and heels princess?"

Oh, that was going too far. I punched him in the face without a second thought, and he dropped me. I was surprised I landed as gracefully as I did. My brother laughed, rubbing at the spot.

"Okay, I guess I deserved that."

"Fucking right."

"Oh well, Happy Birthday!" He hugged me tightly

Shit, he couldn't say stuff like that in places like this. "Shhh! Fuck off Emmett!" He let me go, and I dropped into the empty seat in exasperation.

Right next to Hollywood. He was between me and my glass of wine, and I seized the opportunity, leaning over him to reach it.

God, what sort of cologne was that? It was amazing.

"It's your birthday today?" He asked quietly. Well, the cat was already out of the bag, and I nodded. "Uhm, may I ask how old you are today?"

I thought about it for a minute. Do I give him Bella's age or Bree's age?

He didn't know Bree existed, as far as I knew. I was just Bella to him.

"Twenty-one."

"Seriously?" He asked loudly. He seemed really surprised.

"Yeah seriously, do you have a problem with that?"

"Not at all, you just seem a lot older." Ouch, jerk.

"Well, as least I don't look as old as _you_, old man."

"I'm not old, I'm twenty-seven," he shot back.

"Well, _you seem a lot older_," I returned to him, and he started laughing.

He didn't notice Emmett glaring at him, and my brother ignored my warning look as he sat down heavily at the table.

He looked up, his eyes went a little worried, and he shifted away from me.

I kicked Emmett hard in the shin, but he didn't even react to it.

"What are you doing here Cullen?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were banned."

He shifted uncomfortably, and I wanted to punch my brother in the face again. "Uhh… B lifted the ban like two weeks ago."

"Then why haven't you been at the gym?" His stern expression flipped to a grin, and Hollywood shot him a glare. "You should come back soon, it was nice having you around."

He stuttered over an "Okay," before turning his attention back to me. "Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?"

"Because it was going well while I was trying to ignore it ," I told him honestly. I didn't want to get into that though, and knocked back the rest of my drink.

"You have a tattoo," he said in surprise, catching my attention. My back was covered, how did he-

Oh, my leg. I saw him give me another slow once over, his eyes stopping when they met mine. Then his face reddened slightly.

He was checking me out, and from what I saw… he liked what he saw.

The feeling was very mutual right now. I was still fighting the intense urge to lean in closer to him.

"Yes, I do," I needlessly pointed out, just wanting to say something. I couldn't look away from his eyes.

"Can I see?" He asked in a hopeful whisper.

I let myself lean closer then, using my whisper and the loud music as an excuse for myself. "I don't think that would be very appropriate," I warned.

He cleared his throat. "Why do you say that?" He was staring intently at my mouth, and I wondered… kissing couldn't be as painful as Victor made it, otherwise people wouldn't do it so much, and seem to like it. I knew that, I wasn't an idiot, it was just hard to believe. God, I was so dizzy, but he had asked me a question… what was it? Oh yeah, no, definitely not showing off my ink with Emmett at the table.

Not that I really cared about that, but I'd be disappointed if my brother scared this beautiful man off right now…

"Because it goes up, and up, and up, and if my brother saw me taking off this dress for you in the middle of a club you'd be dead within seconds," I whispered, trailing my fingers over the design. He closed his eyes tightly for a second, taking a deep breath.

_Bella Renee Swan, shut your slutty mouth right now!_

I don't think I will, just look at that face.

He leaned in closer, and I could feel his breath on my neck. "Then show me somewhere else."

Oh, the deep tone his voice had taken was doing dangerous things to me. I was surprised to find that I liked the effect I seemed to have on him. He was watching me, and only me, just like he had since the first night I saw him.

"Well, you would like that, wouldn't you?" This was fun, I've never honestly flirted with someone before.

_Holy fuck, I'm flirting with Edward Cullen._

That thought made me burst into giggles. When I was able to stop, he was watching me with that intent gaze, those burning eyes, and I couldn't resist the urge to wink at him.

I was flirting with a guy, and I was having fun doing it. I wasn't freaking out or anything.

"No, I wouldn't mind that in the slightest," he said with a playful grin. "Can you tell me what it is though? My own imagination is driving me insane."

I bet it is. "It's the Scorpius constellation."

"You're a Scorpio?"

"Nope."

"Then why do you have the Scorpius constellation?"

"Do you know the story of Orion and the scorpion?" He shook his head, so I went on to tell him. "One of the myths is that Orion was this really full-of-himself asshole hunter, thought he was invincible. He boasted to the goddess Artemis that he would kill every animal on the earth. Artemis was a hunter herself, but she respected and offered protection to all creatures. So, naturally, she was pissed the fuck off. So she sent a scorpion to deal with him. The scorpion killed Orion, and caught the attention of Zeus, who then later raised him to the heavens where he's now immortalized in the stars."

Shit, that didn't come out sounding very poetic at all. My vocabulary went to shit when I drank, but it was fun. He was listening to me with a smile, and didn't make fun of me for sounding like an idiot at least. I smiled back at him.

"It's a symbol. Even the greatest and strongest of hunters is not invincible. Anyone can be killed, and by something as small as the prick of a stinger. The scorpion didn't battle for fame or recognition, he killed for the protection of others. I respect that."

"Isn't Orion in the stars too though? It's like, the only constellation I know besides the big dipper," he said with a grin, making me laugh.

"Yes, but that is Artemis' doing as well. Zeus raised him to the stars at her request to serve as a reminder to mortals to curb their excessive pride."

"That's fucking cool. They should make a movie about that," he said, sounding completely serious.

"There are lots of books about it," I pointed out. I wondered if he had ever thought about directing. I bet he'd be good at it.

"Do you have any other tattoos?" He asked curiously. I was tempted to laugh. The scattered stars on my thigh were nothing compared to my wings.

"Hmm," no, I wouldn't tell him. That would take all the surprise away when he did see it.

At Rose's wedding, because of the dress. That's the only reason he's going to see it.

"Where would be the fun in just telling you that? I think it's much more entertaining letting you speculate." He groaned in frustration, and I gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. My bladder was about to explode. "Now move over Sherlock, I need to get out."

He seemed horrified, and made no move to get out of my way. "Why? Where are you going?"

Okay, that was cute. "I need to fucking pee, now get out of my way."

He laughed before moving, and I quickly made my way over to the bathrooms.

I hardly recognized myself when I looked up at the large mirror above the sinks. I really did love the dress Alice had made me, and though slightly messy my hair looked pretty awesome. But it was my face that got me; my cheeks were slightly flushed, my eyes looked huge and… I was smiling for no damn reason.

I looked like just another normal girl, out at a club on a Friday night, with a whole group of friends. It felt pretty amazing, I have to admit.

I headed back out, and saw Jasper smiling at me from our table. I gave him a little wave, but then my view of him was blocked by a large torso. I looked up.

It was the same ass who had sat at my table earlier, smiling down at me. Wow, he had some balls.

"So, changed your mind I see," he said stepping closer and reaching for my hand. I stepped to the side, and he mirrored me.

"No, I haven't actually. Move."

He blocked my path again. "You know what? I really like you, even with this whole prickly attitude you've got going-"

I just pushed him out of my way, losing my patience, but as soon as I stepped past him, I felt his hand on my ass and snapped.

Oh, HELL no. I spun on my heel, which was surprisingly easier in these high-heeled boots, and punched him in the face. I would have knocked him to the ground and started yelling at him had my brother not pulled me back.

"Hey, I need to take care of this okay? You draw more attention in a dress than in your work clothes," he reminded me gently. That sobered me up a little. I was too pissed to say anything, but he was right, and I just turned around and went back to the table.

That little confrontation gave me a different opinion about how I had been interacting with Hollywood and… I really wanted to sit next to him, but I felt disgusted with my behaviour. I couldn't do it, and sitting that close to him messed with my mind.

So I sat down next to Alice.

"You okay?"

I rolled my eyes. I felt kind of disoriented, the liquor and emotional turmoil not mixing well at all. And I was just so fucking angry still, I wanted to break his fucking hands. I was shaking slightly from my rage when I reached for my drink. Hollywood handed it over. Even his small smile did nothing to calm me down, and I answered Alice honestly. I had less control of my mouth than usual right now. "Of course, I just can't fucking stand it when people touch me. I should have broken his fucking hand."

Alice grinned, and poked me lightly in the side mischievously. Just like that, she flipped the switch and I started laughing. That was pretty cute.

Two months ago, I would have flinched. Now I wanted to hug her. "You know it's different with you Alice," I didn't want to talk about my issues right now though, and thankfully there was an easy way to change the subject quickly. "So! Three fucking weeks Rose! Are you excited?" Emmett came back and sat down next to Hollywood.

"Of course," she said, and told me how obvious that change had been with an eye roll. I didn't care. "Did you finish with the guest list?"

There were only about sixty people, a few of which I already knew, and they had been light searches. I only dug deeper on about twenty of them, so it had only taken a couple weeks. "Yeah, they're all checked out. I've got the security set too, not a single fucking camera or phone is going to get in there except for Leah's."

I loved the excited glow in her eyes, but there was still a shadow of worry that was proving difficult to remove. "So we can really do this? You can come and say you're Emmett's sister and everything?" I smiled at her and nodded my affirmation for the thirtieth time, and must have missed something at the table. Jasper had a rare hint of irritation in his voice.

"I've known B longer than Rose has, she's always safe around me."

"Sorry," Hollywood replied. He sounded sincere.

"Whatever," Jasper said, still sounding annoyed. What the hell was that about?

We all talked about the wedding for a little bit, and I felt myself start to relax more. This is what I had wanted for so long, to be part of the crowd and not observing it. I liked it even more than I thought I would.

But good things never last, which was proven when my personal phone buzzed. Everyone that knew that number was sitting at this table, except for…

Alec.

I took my phone out of my purse, and gave Emmett a look as I got up.

_Alec is calling me on my Birthday. _My stomach rolled. "Excuse me," I told the table, the room spinning as I ran in the direction of my office. Embry went to stop me from going back there, and the warning look I gave him alerted him immediately to who I was. "Say a word and you're fired," I warned him, and he gave me an understanding nod before I passed by.

"Alec?"

"Hey Bella. Um, is Emmett with you right now?"

I turned around in the stairwell, and sure enough Emmett was running down after me, holding my purse. I nodded before realizing he couldn't see me, and tried to clear the growing lump in my throat so I could force some words out. "Yes, he is. What happened Alec?"

"Bella, I'm so sorry, I hate having to call you about this on your birthday but I thought it would be better for you to hear from me-"

"Where did they find her?" I whispered. Emmett put his arm around me.

"Jacksonville, about two hours ago. I just got the call."

There were only two ways they could know it was him that quickly. Someone saw him drop her, or he left me a note.

He always left a note.

"What d-did he say?" I choked out, the tears starting to well in my eyes, blurring my vision even more. My voice echoed in the stairwell. Alec didn't answer. _"What did he say Alec?"_ I said, much more loudly. He sighed.

"He loves you and… he wished you a happy birthday," he whispered.

The tears flowed over, and I held out the phone to Em before leaning against the wall and sliding to the floor. I could hear him talking, but the words sounded hollow, far away.

She's dead. Some girl, who didn't do anything, didn't know me or Victor, was probably just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A girl that could have a family, parents, siblings, friends, a boyfriend… She was dead.

For no other reason than it being some stranger's birthday. _My_ birthday.

Victor was in Jacksonville. How far away was Jacksonville?

I didn't care. I jumped to my feet and shot out the door into the alley. Emmett was sober though, and caught me quickly, grabbing me and picking me up.

"Let go! I need to go Emmett!"

"To where, Jacksonville? It's one in the morning and you're drunk, and he's probably already a hundred miles away from there and going further every second. You can't do anything Bells."

He was right, but I needed to do _something_. I couldn't think, my chest hurt and I couldn't breathe and my ears were ringing. "I have to, I have to do something, I can't keep doing this Emmett, it's my fault, I should have died, it's-" there wasn't enough oxygen to talk and breathe. _It's all my fault, how many more people would die because of me?_

"B! You need to calm down. Breathe! This isn't your fucking fault!"

"How can you say that it's _not my fault _Emmett? She's fucking dead! And he's still out there!"

He tried to pull me into a hug. "I know sweetie, but-"

"Don't hug me Emmett, I don't want to be fucking coddled right now," I said angrily, pushing him away and trying to pull in more air. I didn't know what to do, what _could_ I do? What were my options? I started pacing, trying to calm the chaos in my mind even the slightest bit so I could think. My hair kept sticking to my face and I angrily tried to push it away.

I went to a spa, got my hair done, dressed up all nice, went shopping and got drunk, celebrating while he was raping and killing some girl.

And he wasn't going to stop. He was just going to keep doing it, until he found me. I knew that. Just like I knew exactly what he was doing to each of those women. What he did to her today. Flashes of that night started spinning though my mind, making me nauseous.

"I need to find him Emmett, he's not going to stop. He_ needs_ to die," I said, because at that moment, that was the only thing in the world that made sense to me, that I was sure of; Victor needed to die.

"Hey, you can't put this on you. It's not your fault you lived. You've been looking for him for seven years, I know you have, you've made more effort in his case than every other cop in the fucking country combined. You need to stop putting this on yourself. You know dad would say that too, you know I'm right."

There was logic in his words, but they changed nothing. Yes, it all started because I wanted him found, I wanted justice, so I shared my story. A lot of fucking good that did. As long as we were both alive, people would keep dying. "But I- I-…" I couldn't process anymore, and felt the world shift around me. Emmett caught me though, and I held onto him as tightly as possible. It hurt, it hurt so god damn much. No matter what I did, how hard I tried to protect as many people as I could, it wasn't enough. I wasn't enough. I was useless.

Emmett was quiet, and just held me like that while I cried. All there was right now was the pain, that heavy cloud settling over me, and the traffic on the street at the end of the alley.

And then I heard a soft popping noise.

My head shot up, and there, standing in the doorway watching us, was Edward.

I just sort of froze. What was he doing here? How much had he heard?

No, I didn't want him to see this, I didn't want him to see _me_ like this.

I wanted to go home, to go to sleep and never wake up again.

Emmett sighed, but thankfully didn't loosen his hold on me. I didn't think I could stand right now. But I did turn so that he couldn't see my face anymore. "Why the fuck am I not surprised? How long have you been there?" Emmett asked him.

"About three minutes. I didn't know what to do," he said worriedly. I heard his footsteps come over, and his voice was much closer when he spoke again, and very gentle. "Are you okay?"

I didn't trust my voice, it was still pretty hard to just breathe, so I just nodded.

"Is there anything I can do?"

Even after seeing me like this, he was still being so sweet. There was nothing he could do though, there was nothing anyone could do.

And I couldn't drag him into this. He was a good guy, he deserved better…

"No, but thanks," I said quietly, hating that my voice came out so shaky. I hated that I still so badly wanted to be close to him. It was one more thing I didn't deserve. A family was mourning, I didn't deserve to be comforted. They did.

"What are you doing out here?" Emmett asked him.

"I was just heading home. Do you want a ride B?"

My heart rate raced out of control, panic shooting through me. I forgot that he was Edward, all I knew was that I didn't want to get in a car with another man. I couldn't breathe. _Please Emmett, please please don't leave me._

"Thanks Edward, but I can't risk any pictures being taken of her like this. The cameras would be all over the two of you if you got into a cab together." He tightened his hold on me.

"Oh, okay."

A car honked at the end of the alley. "Well, er, we have to go," Emmett said, and stood there uncomfortably. I took my chances with falling, preferring it to being here a minute longer, and started walking towards it.

"Later Hollywood," I said quietly, not waiting to hear a response. I froze in front of the door, not able to bring myself to touch it, but Emmett opened it for me, and gave me an encouraging smile. I slid in with a shuddering breath, and as soon as he was in he wrapped an arm around my shoulders. Emmett gave the driver my address, and we were quiet for the ride. I didn't mind, I didn't want to talk right now.

As soon as we got in, I walked over to my dresser, pulled out some clothes, and then jumped into the shower. I tried to scrub the tears, and the memories of his hands touching me off of me, but I didn't feel any better. Emmett was on my computer, no doubt going through all of the articles that would be starting to come up.

I curled up in a blanket in the corner of my couch, and leaned against Zeus when he came and sat next to me.

. . . . . . . . . .

The night had been a blur. Eventually the liquor wore off, and I couldn't handle it. I spent the most of the night on the roof with Zeus. Rose had come over at some point, and had coaxed me back downstairs and curled up in my bed with me. I didn't sleep.

Eventually I needed to do something, and I went onto my computer to find out more about the girl. Her name had been Danielle. She was 19, just started college, had two younger brothers. I found out where her parents lived, and got their mailing address.

I hated doing this, but it was better than nothing. This family needed the help, the father was unemployed and the mother was working two jobs. No life insurance, and they were already in debt.

I wrote out the letter, apologizing for what I could. I told them that I knew the money would do nothing to help with their loss, but that I hoped it would help from causing further strain on their family. I opened up my safe, taking out a hundred k, and packed it into a padded envelope with the letter.

I wish I could do more. I hope they didn't see it as an "I'm sorry your daughter died because she kind of looks like me, but here's some money." It was the only thing I could do to help, and it would cover any and all funeral expenses. Then Rose and I drove out of town so I could mail it from another city.

Victor wasn't the only person who wanted me dead, and I bet the number had climbed again last night.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Thanks for reading! And thanks to all of those who leave reviews, they mean so much to me!**


	10. Chapter 10

**SM owns Twilight!**

**There's a link for the song in this chapter on my profile, under chapter seven for Something at First Sight. The artist is amazing, and has given me a lot of inspiration for this story. Check it out if you have the time!**

. . . . . . . . . .

I only let myself mope around for one more day before I forced myself to work on Monday. Then Tuesday. And the day after… my life kept on going, every day that I woke up was just another day of guilt to be added onto my shoulders. There wasn't anything I could do though. I would never kill myself; I couldn't. There was the piece of me that kept telling me that if I did, Victor might stop. But he would also win, and there was no guarantee that he _would_ stop. And I had people in my life. I couldn't do that to Emmett, to Rose. And then there was Zeus, Jasper, Alice…

Edward.

He'd become a permanent fixture in my mind. At first it was an anxiety. After I'd sobered up, I had been completely humiliated, repulsed with myself for the way I'd acted around him. I knew what his feelings were, and even if I did enjoy his company… it wasn't fair for me to act like that with him when I couldn't do… that. Then there had been the embarrassment, not only over my actions, but what he had seen in the alley. Me at my weakest. That wasn't an easy thing for me to get over; him seeing me cry.

He didn't change like the others did though. Alice didn't even know what had happened, and even she was acting like she was walking in a mine field around me. It didn't help with my irritability.

But Edward, he acted like he always did around me. He came to the club every Friday night, and always had a smile for me, kept an eye on me like he always did. Even though I hadn't actually spoken to him since my birthday.

He was becoming a constant in my life. Not just coming into the club every Friday. He had become a constant in my dreams; chasing the shadow of Victor out of my mind and helping me sleep. I even started having good dreams. Once or twice a week, we'd meet in my depths of my subconscious, laying out in the sun in central park. Just talking.

It was pretty sad that the only things keeping me sane these days were my dreams.

The three weeks after my birthday leading up to the wedding had been hectic. Along with my own life, work, gym, another tattoo session where Rory had started to do the colouring on my hip after adding the new name to a feather in my wings, there was a world of other things to take care of. There had been so much to do; the caterers, tables, chairs, linens, centerpieces, flowers, decorations, the cake, a DJ, and the song I had been working on with Jasper for Emmett and Rose. It was always a pain in the ass transferring money between my different accounts too. Then there was their trip that I planned in secret, with a bit of help from Alice. They weren't planning a honeymoon right away, and I knew that it was because of me. They didn't want to leave me alone.

That worked for me. I booked them two weeks at a resort in Fiji, and even got them that private plane. Alice had both Rose's and Emmett's measurements, and she'd been more than happy to come shopping with me to build surprise, packed suitcases for them so they could leave right from the reception.

And she'd had a blast helping me plan Rose's Bachelorette party. We took over the VIP room at the club, played a bunch of dirty games that made me extremely uncomfortable, we had ladies come in to give lessons in pole dancing, and a bunch of male strippers dressed as firemen. That had been the worst part, but thankfully none of them came anywhere close to me.

And who knew that there were so many foods that could be arranged to look like the male reproductive organ? I ate at home before going over.

It made the time fly by, for which I was thankful. Friday afternoon came, and we all got ready in the empty half of my apartment which I had set up. (No one was the wiser that I owned the building, and lived in the other half of the same apartment.) As the stylist curled my hair, almost just like Rose had for my birthday three weeks ago, that night was very present in my mind.

I wasn't going to be pulled down today though, or pull down anyone else. My brother was going to get married, Rose was going to officially become my sister tonight. There were no words for how happy that made me. Everyone I loved would be together to celebrate tonight.

And it was probably going to be a pain in the ass; I needed to enjoy the calm while it lasted.

"Edward is going to _love_ that dress," Alice said, and I choked on my water, causing both her and Rose to laugh. I chose not to dignify that statement with a response.

"Does he know about your tattoos?"

"Of course not," I hissed at Rose. She grinned.

"Will you dance with him?" Alice asked excitedly.

"No! God, you guys are being fucking evil today, what's wrong with you?" They both laughed.

"It's not our fault that you're making it so easy. It's all over your face. You liiiike him," Rose sang.

"Fuck my life," I said with a sigh, getting up and checking the security monitors again. People were starting to file into the building.

"Seriously though, what are you going to do? Are you going to keep ignoring him?"

"I'm not ignoring him."

"You haven't actually talked to him in three weeks, I'd count that as ignoring."

"Yeah. What happened? You guys were getting along great on your birthd-" I dropped my glass, and it shattered on the floor.

"Shit, sorry B, I didn't mean to-"

"No, it's okay. I'm fine," I said, grabbing a dust pan and a dishtowel to clean up my mess. "I don't mean to ignore him, I just… don't know what I'm supposed to do. I feel guilty every time I smile at him, because I feel like every time I try to be nice I'm leading him on," I admitted.

Besides, they already knew that I couldn't talk to him at the club, I had warned Rose that I needed to pull back. It was saddening, but as soon as Jacob was ready I'd be leaving there. I'd stayed much too long as it was.

"Just because you smile at him doesn't mean you're leading him on. I'm not saying you should marry my brother, I'm just trying to get you to understand that you don't need to be afraid to be his friend. That's what you want, isn't it? You like talking to him, you like hanging out with him?"

I nodded.

"Then let yourself. Try. And you'll see that it's not as scary as you're making yourself think it is."

I didn't know what to say to that.

One of Sam's guys called through my ear piece, and I covered my ear to hear better.

"Miss Tanner, there's a Doctor Cullen here and-"

Shit, I was more nervous about seeing Edward's father than Edward himself. Sure enough, there were the other three members of the Cullen Clan, waiting for access into my building. "Okay, let him keep his phone. He probably has to be reachable for his position at the hospital. Just warn him about the photos please."

"Yes, are you sure?"

"Yes. I owe him a favour. Let him through."

"Yes ma'am, I will."

I turned to Alice. "Your parents just arrived," I informed her, then looked down at my watch. "Show time in thirty minutes! Your feet cold yet Rose?"

"Yes, but only because these shoes are cutting off circulation," she complained. I walked over to the fridge, and pulled out a bottle of champagne, carrying it over with three glasses. I set the glasses on the coffee table, and popped the cork, sending foaming champagne all over the clean wood floor. I could clean it tomorrow. We each picked up a glass and I poured for Rose, Alice and then myself.

"What's this for?" Rose asked.

"A toast. I wanted us all to remember our last drink together as three unmarried woman." I held up my glass. "To the bride!"

"To family!" Alice added. Because now, technically we would all be family. I'd be Alice's cousin-in-law-once-removed or something like that.

"To us," Rose said. "I love both of you guys, so much," she said thickly, and we all drank. "Shit, that's good! Hit me again," Rose said happily, and we all had another glass before doing a couple last minute touches.

"Okay guys!" I hit my earpiece. "This is StarFox; give me an update on the guests."

I heard the end of Sam's chuckle before he answered. "Falco, copy. Guests are seated an accounted for Boss. Groom's men are ready to take positions."

I looked at Rose. "You ready?"

"Hell yes!" She said excitedly.

"Okay, we're moving the bride, let's get the show rolling," I told the team.

We went over to the elevator, and I got the alert that that the men were all in position. We stepped in, and the door closed behind us. The freight elevator was pimped out right now, since the regular elevator didn't go to the top two floors. Everything in my building was extremely clean and well maintained though, so it just looked like a big, fancy-ass elevator with a pretty bench and flowers and other pretty shit. Emmett was going to laugh when he read his credit card bill, but he told me I could go all out, so I did.

"Once again B, it's beautiful. Thank you so much, for all of this," Rose said with watery eyes. I stepped forward and gave her a tight hug.

"I love you Rose. You're my family, and I'd do anything to make you happy, just like Emmett. Thank you for choosing him."

A tear rolled down her cheek, and I tried to carefully swipe it away without smudging her. "Hey, cut that out, Alice is going to kill me if I mess you up."

"She's right!" Alice warned with a laugh.

"Everyone's ready Rose. Are you?"

She took a deep breath. "Definitely. Let's do this," she said excitedly.

"And you're sure about your fa-"

"No. He could have chosen to be a part of this a long time ago if he wanted to. He's lucky I even invited him," she said seriously.

"Okay, let's do this." I lifted my hand to my headset. "The bride is ready. Cue the music, and then I'm out," I told my guys. Sam's guys really, but they were working a few other jobs for me tonight also. They'd been happy to when Sam told them how much I was willing to pay them.

"Good luck boss, we'll talk to you in a bit," Sam said, and I smiled as the music changed, and removed my earpiece.

"You're up Pixie." We had one last group hug, and Alice stepped through the open doorway, walking down the red runner.

I gave Rose one last look. "This is your last chance, are you sure you want to marry into this family?"

She grinned. "I've never been more sure of anything in my life."

"I love you Rose."

"Love you to, sis."

I smiled brightly at her, gave her a wink, then stepped towards the door. "See you in a bit!"

I made my way around the corner and… Holy fuck. There were a shit-ton of people staring at me. I plastered a smile on my face, and made my way down the aisle as calmly as possible. I had to stay in character. I was Emmett's sister Bree from Chicago. No one from the gym or club would recognize me with all this shit on my face, dressed like this. The temporary dye in my hair made it look almost the same shade as Emmett's too, almost black.

I was in complete control of this entire building. Nothing is going to go wrong. Just don't look anyone directly in the eyes.

It helped seeing Emmett, who no doubt knew that this was all sorts of fucked up for me, and when I reached the others by the minister I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he hugged me tightly.

"She hasn't bolted yet?"

"Nope, tried to convince her. She's all sorts of crazy. I think we're stuck with her."

"Sounds good to me," he said with a bright smile, and we both turned as Rose came into view, and everyone else stood.

It was then that I saw Hollywood. He was only a couple rows back, sitting right next to the aisle. He looked especially good tonight in his black suit, the top few buttons open without a tie, and that perfectly messy dark copper hair.

I was happy that I at least wasn't losing my Friday dose of Edward Cullen for the wedding.

Damn it.

. . .

It was a beautiful thing, seeing Emmett and Rose declare their love together and promise their lives to each other. I'd never seen two people more in love.

Though Alice and Jasper were a pretty close second. They didn't break eye contact for a moment while we were up there.

I made sure no one got too close while they signed their license with different names than they had said aloud, and that it was put away quickly so that no one could actually read it. Emmett and Rose made their way back down the aisle, followed by Jasper and I, then Alice and Garrett. I stopped to talk to Sam as we headed back inside.

"You can let the bartenders open up, let people find their tables, and keep the music going but not too loud. We should be back up in half an hour or so."

"Not a problem. Thanks again, for this. You have no idea how much you've helped me out with this job."

"Nothing to thank me for, I only hire the best," I said with a wink.

The six of us, and Zeus, made our way down to the empty apartment. Alice removed the train from Rose's dress, and Emmett opened another bottle of champagne. I had quite a few in there.

"This is a pretty awesome set up Bree," Garrett said, dropping down on the couch next to me. I was watching the monitors that were set up to watch the roof through the doorway to one of the bedrooms. There was one guy sitting there, watching the dozen screens, but I could see around him. I had them set up in here also, so they'd have their own break area and washroom, and not have to wait in line with guests on the side that the caterers were on.

"Thanks," I said, shifting away a little bit.

"How'd you find something like this?"

"There are tons of apartments that rent out their roofs, I just knew a guy. He lives in the apartment next door."

"Of course you know a guy. How do you know so many people when you don't even live here?" He draped an arm over the back of the couch behind me, making me cringe.

I didn't say anything. Usually Garrett kept his space whenever we were around each other. He was the first friend Emmett had made when we moved here, and they started hanging out together when Emmett hooked him up with a job at his new gym. I never trusted him, so I made sure our paths and schedules never passed at the gym. IT wasn't too hard, since most of the training he did was on the second floor. Emmett didn't talk to him about me, I was just his little sister from Chicago, and I visited with my dog every once in a while, and he'd always kept a polite distance.

But, he was being different tonight, chatty, and smiling too much. I didn't like it.

"By the way, you look gorgeous tonight," he said, leaning in again. I flinched away automatically.

"Garrett!"

"What?" he said with an eye roll, looking over at Emmett, who looked pissed.

They all looked fucking pissed, actually.

"Back off."

He held up his hands in surrender, sliding away on the couch with a grin.

I was thoroughly embarrassed, and got up to go over to the washroom. Jasper came after me.

"I'm fine Jasper, he just caught me by surprise. It's Garrett."

"Yeah, I know. And we all know you can handle yourself. But you're practically my sister too, and hitting on your friend's sister is crossing boundaries. Bro code, you know?" I laughed quietly, relaxing a bit. "You do look very pretty tonight though. We'll all have to keep an eye out for you," he said with a teasing wink. I smacked him lightly on the arm.

"You don't think anyone will recognize me after, will they?" I asked, finally voicing my biggest fear to someone. There were very few people here who could associate me with the gym, but I was still worried. Jasper wouldn't lie about something like this, he was unbiased enough to give me a truthful answer.

"Honestly, no. It's the bright colour, it completely changes everything. Your hair, skin, face. You're always pretty, but you look like a completely different person tonight. Keep smiling, that'll help too." I rolled my eyes, and we walked back out together.

"Things are calming down boss," the man watching the monitors informed me when I came up next to him.

"Anyone try to get in that wasn't on the list?"

"No ma'am."

"Thanks. Remember, that fridge is full of drinks and snacks. You make sure you guys help yourselves." He grinned and nodded at me. I went back over to my brother and sister. "People are mostly at their tables now, so whenever you guys are ready. There's still… two and a half hours before dinner will be served."

"What's the schedule like?" Emmett asked. Rose rolled her eyes and answered for me. "Speeches, some music, dinner, then dancing. Right?"

"Right."

"Well, let's get this party started," Em said, pulling Rose in for an intense kiss.

We made our way back up to the party, and once we took our seats I got the speeches started. They lasted for almost two hours, most of which I spent trying not to smile like a loon while I traded looks with Hollywood. He was watching me just as intently as he had that first night at the club, not taking his eyes off of me and not bothering to hide it. Alice and Rose's words kept running through my head. Just because he liked me didn't have to mean we couldn't be friends… to at least try. I wouldn't know what these feelings were unless I tried.

And I wanted to be close to him, to talk to him. I wanted to know this man that I just couldn't get out of my head.

We had planned on waiting until after dinner to play our song, but when Jasper stole my mic and signalled for another one, asking me about time before dinner, I knew that he had changed his mind and played along with his banter until I got up to get our instruments from the DJ. I had an amazing sound system for parties, hidden speakers all over the roof, that we both had our instruments hooked up to. I had a wireless receiver for my violin, but Jasper was too old school for such technology and I had to fight with his cable. He took his place on the stool next to me while I stood. I liked to move while I played.

The song was A Thousand Years. I saw Rose's eyes water when she recognized the tune. I was glad she seemed to like it, she'd been stumped for picking out a first song, and just told me to pick something pretty. I got lost in the melody, swaying with the beat as my favourite sound wrapped around me and calmed me, only opening them to check on Jasper and the dancing couple every few moments. I was just so damn happy, because I was with my family, and they were happy.

I felt especially pleased when I saw the impressed look on Hollywood's face.

He stared me down the entire time I was trying to eat, like, _hard_. It was really, really intense, and made it hard to concentrate on my food. I couldn't even look at him, it was too much.

And as soon as Rose and Emmett got up to dance again, he got up and quickly took Rose's seat next to me.

Well, here we go I guess.

"Hey Hollywood, having fun?"

"No."

What? I worked my ass off for this party, I thought I'd done a good job, and I was pretty offended. "Excuse me?"

"No, I'm not having fun, you've been torturing me all night and I think I'm about to lose myself to the insanity."

I felt my mouth open unattractively and quickly shut it. I… I didn't know what to say to that, and just kind of stared at him.

Emmett appeared by my side to distract me from Hollywood's intense gaze. "Bree! Come fucking dance, let's show these guys how it's done!"

I knew what he meant. Eight years of dance classes together, Charlie's idea to help with our clumsiness and balance issues when we were little, had made us pretty fucking good. Unlike my violin though, it wasn't something I was comfortable showing off. "Hell no."

"It's my fucking wedding and you're my only blood relative, you have to dance with me."

Ouch. There was no way to say no when he put it like that. "Low blow bro." I let him drag me away, looking back at Edward, and still having no comeback for his intense words.

"DJ! My good sir, I need those three songs we talked about-"

"Emmett-"

"I need to have a couple real dances with my sister, and then another with my wife!" Phew, at least he wasn't making me do all three, though the fact that he had preplanned this terrified me. I warily watched the DJ nod with a smile, and the music quickly changed as Emmett pulled me into the middle of the dance floor that was quickly being vacated because of the quick, Latin-style beat, and Emmett started fucking spinning me.

God, I'm glad Edward distracted me from eating too much. Our tango was a familiar routine, we'd one third place with it in one of our last competitions, but this style made me dizzy.

It had been awhile, but the man did most of the work in this sort of dance, so I just went along with the ride and prayed to god he wouldn't drop me. I wouldn't be able to do this with anyone but Emmett, it required too much trust. It brought back a lot of good memories though, Charlie cheering for us with a giant bouquet of flowers, Angela and Ben waving and taking pictures with us and our trophy. The watery smile on Emmett's face let me know he was thinking the same thing.

Once the song ended, it shifted into a softer beat, and Emmett effortlessly shifted us into a Waltz.

"I'm so happy for you Emmett. I love you so much, and I love Rose so much. It just makes me so happy seeing you guys together."

"I love you too," he said quietly. "And thank you so much for all of this. I know how much work you must have gone through. You know there's still a chance something could slip from something like this though, have you set up precautions?"

"I have a bag, it has everything we'd need, ready to go at a moment's notice. Paper work is set up just in case, but I'll be keeping on high alert for a little while to watch." He nodded seriously, but didn't look overly upset. We knew there was always a chance we'd have to leave eventually. We've done it before. "Have you talked about the protocol to Rose?"

"Oh yeah, months ago. She's with us no matter what."

I squeezed him a little tighter, and as the song neared it's end he just stopped and hugged me tightly. Rose got pulled into the hug as she approached, and then I pushed them both away so they'd dance and stop trying to compromise my mascara.

Edward was _right there _when I turned around, and I got slightly trapped in his eyes when I looked up at him, almost tripping over him.

God, why does he always smell so good? I was tempted to try and fix my hair, but knew it would be pointless.

"Can we dance?" He asked with a small, crooked smile. I could see that he was expecting me to say no, but he was still asking anyways. My heart fluttered excitedly, but I was frozen.

_You've touched him before, even sat next to him. There's no reason to start freaking out. Calm down, just say something._

"You don't really like being touched," he added casually, surprising me. Was it that obvious?

_Probably._

I nodded.

"What if I let you lead?"

Was he joking? No, he looked completely serious, and it did not seem like his style at all to let someone else lead. "Seriously?"

He gave me that warm, beautiful smile of his. "Sure, though I can't promise that I won't take over eventually. If you get uncomfortable though, I'll back off."

His words calmed me a little, contact was easier if it was under my own terms, but it still took another moment of internal debate before I threw that annoying, cautious voice out the window and held out my hand.

I wonder how serious he was about that? I grinned, and tried to twirl him. Not an easy thing, he was much taller than me, but ducked under my arm and let me spin him with an easy smile, and we both laughed.

I relaxed, and moved a little closer.

I'd never actually led in a dance before, and it was really weird, but we moved easily together. I think he felt it when I relaxed, or maybe he saw the tension fade in my face, because when a gave him a small, slightly-timid smile, he gave me a slightly-smug, crooked smirk as his hold on me shifted. I didn't panic, as he didn't break eye contact with me for a second. His hold tightened, and his movements became more dominant, though the way he held me was so gentle, almost reverent. He towered over me, leading me confidently, and even now where he was controlling me, holding me so close, I wasn't afraid. I wasn't even nervous. I felt almost safe in his embrace, and it seemed to make everything else, my thoughts, fears, the music, the crowd of dancers, just fade away.

The more that I realized I was enjoying it, the harder and faster my heart started thudding in my chest.

I was dancing with someone other than Emmett. I was dancing with a boy, a boy that could really fucking dance. I felt myself smiling and laughing as he spun me out from him, and then back into his body with his almost protective hold on me. There was nothing to think about except for this moment, and how much fun it was, being close to someone like this. I was actually disappointed when the song came to its end. Would he want to keep dancing?

The music changed, this time to a slow song. My stomach sank. Somehow the slow beat sped up my fear of being held like that. I'd never slow danced before, it was just something that was too weird to do with Emmett. I didn't think I could handle-

"How about a drink?" He said with an easy smile, taking a step back from me. My body relaxed, shutting off its panic, and I smiled and nodded. He led me over to the bar that was least visible to the crowd, and it was a relief because I did not want anyone gossiping about how Edward Cullen was paying attention to Emmett Tanner's sister. Fuck this was not a good idea, but I told myself I'd just chat with him for a few minutes, clear the air so that hopefully he didn't think I had been purposely ignoring him also. The idea of hurting him was very unpleasant to me. Garrett was waiting for a drink there, and I purposely ignored him.

I grinned when Edward pulled out a seat for me. What a gentleman. He sat down next to me, and tried to inconspicuously move his chair closer. He pretty much sat as close as he could without actually touching me, but conveniently, his broad torso blocked me from the view of the party completely.

And it was getting easier and easier to be comfortable with his proximity. I realized then why that was. He seemed to be able to read me extremely well. He never touched me to get my attention, or tried to surprise me. He didn't move too quickly around me. He even seemed to have caught on to my issues with crowded restaurants, and my compulsive need to be in a corner seat. Whenever I started to panic, he always seemed to know what to do, whether it be a step back to give me back my personal space or a comforting smile.

How did this happen? I took in a slightly shaky breath.

"Scotch for me, what would you like?"

"Whiskey sour, a double please."

"Sure thing beauti- uh, yes ma'am," he corrected himself, and I couldn't bite back my smile. Sam must have warned them. I looked back at Edward, who also had an amused look.

"You can't blame him, you look fucking stunning," he said easily. I liked that I didn't intimidate him, he was so normal around me.

Well, no. Normal wasn't the word. But something.

"You don't look so bad yourself, Hollywood." Understatement of the century, though I thought he looked even better in jeans and t-shirt. The man could really wear a fucking suit though.

"Thanks," he said with a slightly flustered smile. We were both quiet, and I looked around the room. I knew it was safe, but having this many people on my roof around me was still unsettling.

_Calm down. You covered all the bases, everything is fine. _

I knocked back my drink, and felt myself calm slightly. I motioned for another.

"God, this is so weird," I said, mostly to myself. The fact that it was weird was what bothered me the most. Even if I managed to find Victor and kill him, would I ever feel normal again?

"Are you okay?" He asked quietly, genuine concern in his voice.

It was time to start seeing if he could handle being my friend. My life was pretty fucking weird. "I'm fine, it's just… I'm not used to this. Being around so many people like this, being part of the crowd and not just _watching_ it. It's weird, you know? After a while, you kind of get used to feeling invisible. It's unsettling."

He was quiet for a minute. _Take your chance and run Hollywood, I won't stop you._

"I can't imagine how fucked up that must feel."

I shrugged. "It's only one night, tomorrow things will go back to normal." Back to trying to blend in, living as an unnoticed shadow that watched everyone else. I looked over the crowd out of habit, scanning for any sign of agitation, or a camera that might have gotten past security. No one seemed to be paying attention to us, and I was kind of thankful for some of Rose's dumb-as-air model friends that seemed to draw a lot of attention to themselves.

Edward laughed, and once again the sound seemed to almost ground me. "Hey, you need to just shut your mind off for a while and enjoy it, you're stressing me out just looking at you." He was right, I had a dozen guys up here doing just that for me. It was hard not to but-

Holy shit, the parental units have spotted me. What do I do? Should I run?

Shit, I made eye contact with the mother. The opportunity to flee quickly passed, and they were there.

Fuck my life.

Keep cool.

"Good evening Doctor Cullen," I said politely, looking him over. He better keep his mouth shut, I didn't like the way the bartender was paying attention to us.

"Hi, Bella is it?"

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Alice must have told him my name, why would she do that? Did anyone hear? I looked around, and the bartender was attending to another guest. I had to say something quickly, but I couldn't. I fell back on my default, the nickname. People heard it wrong all the time, I couldn't give him two of my names. "Um, just B, actually."

"How's that shoulder?"

Oh, I would love to show you just how well it is now, with a punch to the face. I smiled as I rolled it. "Perfect, thanks."

"Edward, aren't you going to introduce me?" His mother hissed, smacking him gently on the back of the head. I fought back a smile. Esme Cullen just radiated mom vibes. I could tell though, there was something about this woman that screamed fierce. I wouldn't mess with her.

I had actually kind of looked forward to seeing her again, her party had been my inspiration after all. I was just glad that she didn't seem to recognize me.

"Oh, uh, B, this is my mom Esme. Mom, this is Emmett's sister B." He gave me an apologetic look, but I smiled back at him. This wasn't his fault, he didn't do anything wrong.

It wasn't his fault his father probably thought I was crazy. That was all on me.

"It's very nice to meet you dear! You did an amazing job with this party, you've got quite the knack for this sort of thing," Esme gushed. I was pretty flattered.

"Oh, well actually I think I should be thanking you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm a bit of a fan of yours. That charity ball you did in central park last summer was my inspiration."

She gasped, and I saw the flash of recognition in her eyes. Fuck, why did I say that? I almost panicked, but then she surprised me.

She gave a slight nod with a look of understanding in her eyes. It only lasted a second before she masked it as recognition of my decorations, and looked around with a smile. "Ah! I see it now. Well, you did an excellent job, are you independent or doing this work through a company?"

God, no. I'm pretty sure doing this sort of work regularly would kill me. "Oh, no, this was just a one-time occurrence, for Em and Rose. I don't do this sort of thing often."

"Oh, well that's too bad, you could really make a name in the industry with this talent."

I don't want anyone to know my name. I'd give almost anything just to be a boring, normal girl with an unexciting life.

"Well, it was really nice to meet you," she said, and I didn't trust that smile on her face. I needed to talk to her, I needed to know what she'd do with her new information of me, if anything. "We'll leave you two to be, I hope we see each other again soon!" And with that she grabbed her husband and dragged him away.

I needed another drink.

"Fuck, I'm sorry about that, I-"

I laughed, and stopped his needless apology. He was lucky, I'd trade this empty, painful sadness for Charlie embarrassing me without hesitation. I hope he knew just how lucky he was. "Nothing to apologize for. Your parent's seem really nice."

"How long have you been playing the violin for?" He asked quickly

"Oh, uhm… since I was about five I guess." Pretty sure my dad regretted it for that first year or two, but I took to my lessons fairly quickly.

"You're really good." I got another one of those brilliant smiles, and felt my face reflecting it.

"Thanks."

"Do you have any more secret talents I should know about?" He asked in a teasing voice. I grinned.

"You'll just have to wait and find out now, won't you?" I hadn't even thought about what that implied before I said it, but he didn't give me a chance to panic.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said, leaning in slightly. It was a reflex to try and gain back that personal space, it was too hard to think with his face that close to mine. And there were too many people here. I was trying to blend as much as possible, Edward Cullen leaning in and whispering to me would make that impossible.

He frowned, and I hated myself for it.

I'm a horrible person.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying, but it's hard. I can't stay away from you. You're all I've thought about since that first night I saw you standing in the corner at the club. It's terrifying, but I wouldn't trade these feelings for anything in the world."

Holy fuck, where did he come up with this stuff? His words were so intense, and it made them hard to process. This is so wrong, I should push him away, or walk away now, but I couldn't. I couldn't hurt him.

I didn't _want_ to leave. Not in the slightest. What do I do? He was staring me down with those intense green eyes, waiting.

"Edward…" I don't know what I'm supposed to do! His breath caught in his throat.

"Say it again," he whispered. I didn't flinch this time when he leaned forward, what was he talking about?

"What?"

"My name. You never call me by name," he said with a brilliant smile. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"Edward." He sighed, and closed his eyes. His voice was very quiet when he spoke, and I had to lean forward a bit more to hear him properly. God, why did he have to smell so good?

"Bella," my heart fluttered hearing him say my name. The way he said it, it was strange. No one had ever said my name quite like _that_, the way his smooth voice wrapped around the word… I wanted to hear him say it again. "I want to know you. You already know I'm crazy about you, do you not feel any of this at all?"

That hurt. There was no way he could know just how much he affected me, I couldn't let him.

But I couldn't let him go on believing I was unaffected by this though. "I never said that."

"Said what?"

"I've never said that I didn't feel anything for you." His mouth popped open, and I hated that I couldn't leave it like that with a clear conscience. "But whatever this is… it's not fair to you. There's too much that you don't know about me, and the stuff you don't know… you'll be happier keeping it that way. I don't want to hurt you."

"The only thing you could do to hurt me is walking away."

He was wrong. He'd find out that Emmett and I had kept this secret from him, the entire time we knew him. He'd know just how fucked up I was, and worst of all, why. If I told him any part of it, it would all come out.

And he wouldn't feel the same way after he knew what Victor had done to me. Used me and threw me away like garbage. And if he did… if he cared that much that he still wanted to be with me, hearing what he did would hurt him.

"No, it isn't."

"Please, just give me a chance. Let me prove to you that I'm not going anywhere."

Easier said than done.

"How?"

"Tell me why you're in so much danger. What happened to you?"

I just sort of froze. I didn't know what to do, all I knew was that I really didn't want to tell him, but knew that I had to.

_You won't know unless you try._

But I'm not ready to say good-bye.

_You're being selfish._

I saw his hand coming, he was very slow and deliberate with his movement, and he gently put his large hand on my shoulder. I couldn't stop my body from tensing, but I didn't flinch away either.

It was the anticipation I think that scared me the most, because once his hand was already on me, just like when we were dancing, I realized that I was comfortable. The fear of contact dissolved, and my body relaxed.

It's the fair thing to do, he deserves the truth. He needs the facts.

"Okay," I said quietly. Too quietly, I cleared my throat and looked around, trying to take back some personal space so I could think clearly. "Just… not here. The party should wind down in another hour or two, then-"

Rose screamed, cutting me off, but it was Edward's reaction that stole my attention. He shot to his feet, tucking me behind him, shielding me while he looked for the source of danger.

Saying I was stunned didn't begin to describe that. Talk about role-reversal.

And it was incredibly sweet. I felt myself smile.

Rose ran over to me, and I saw that she was clutching onto the big white envelope I had left on her seat. She pushed Edward out of the way and pulled me into a fierce hug. She was crying.

"B, what is this?"

"Calm down Rose, it's just a little wedding present." Did she really have to scream? The entire party was watching us.

"Thank you. Thank you thank you thank you, I can't believe you did this," she cried. I held her tighter, ecstatic that I had been able to make her this happy. Emmett joined the hug, crushing us both.

Now, all I had to do was actually convince them to get on the plane.

"But we can't, with the businesses and-"

"I'm taking time off from the library while you're gone, I've got them covered, really. You guys have nothing to worry about." I'd be crazy-busy, but it was manageable. I saw the arguments in their eyes, and gave them both a serious look.

I was twenty-one years old. I didn't need to be babysat.

"Thank you," they said, and it was getting a little too emotional for my comfort level.

"Sure sure. Alice packed bags for you, they're waiting in a limo downstairs when you two are ready to go. Enjoy the party though, he's not going anywhere."

"When's the flight time?"

"Whenever you get there." _Yeah, that's right, I got you a private plane._ And felt damn proud of it. They were going to have a blast.

"But how-?"

"Don't ask questions, just enjoy it." I gave Rose a kiss on the cheek, then took a cloth napkin from the bar and tried to carefully dry her face. "Now go socialize! You're getting me all wet."

I didn't want to risk them seeing it. No matter how much I wanted them to do this, would force them if I had to, the thought of being alone, without either of them for so long was painful. They smiled at me, and went to go brag about their honeymoon to their friends.

"That was very generous of you," Edward said in an odd voice. It really was nothing, barely put a dent in my nest egg, but I wasn't going to tell him that. Yet.

First things first. I had to come clean on the bigger thing.

"They're all the family I've got, I'd do anything for them."

Sam caught my attention as he walked over, and leaned in to talk to me quietly.

"Someone's alerted the press, for some reason they think Mr. Cullen here got spontaneously married on a roof?"

I sighed. Of course that would happen. _Why hadn't I thought about that?_ I thought sarcastically.

This wasn't his fault though, I knew that, and gave him a smile before I told him I had to go. I didn't want to, because I knew it would be reckless to come and talk to him again. I'd already sat with him for too long, but now Alice's words were repeating through my mind. So I just told him straight up that I couldn't talk to him again during the party. He looked disappointed, and I hated that I liked the idea that he didn't want me to leave, but he gave me an understanding nod before I left with Sam.

There was a group of about twenty trying to get into my building, and one of Sam's guys were blocking their path, while also trying to help some tenants get in safely.

"This isn't a public building. It's private property. There are signs up. Let them get into the lobby and call the cops. Have them charged with trespassing."

Sam smiled. "Good plan boss." I took a seat, watching both the party and the chaos of my lobby on the split screens. I had Sam make a note of all the tenants that were bothered by the crowd. I'd send them each a bottle of wine or something for their troubles tomorrow.

We sat and waited, and fifteen minutes later the cops came in. They were able to arrest most of them, but some fled. Either way, it got rid of all of them, which was what I wanted.

"Excellent. You guys are all doing a great job tonight, and I appreciate your hard work. Thank you."

They each gave me smiles, and Sam walked me back up to the roof.

. . . . . . . . . .

I stayed on the outskirts of the party for a little while, trying to figure out how any rumour could have gotten out. There were a few guests who had needed to leave early, but my guess was that one of the caterers had overheard a guest in the washroom and said something. Anyone at the actual party would have known Edward Cullen had in fact _not_ gotten married.

I kept an eye on him too, more than tempted to go join him again. I really enjoyed talking to him, he kept me on my toes and as weird as it was to say, I think I liked how much he frustrated me sometimes. And how quickly he could turn that irritation into amusement.

But I knew what our next conversation would entail, and I was terrified. I didn't want to do this, and I hoped that my absence for the remainder of the party would make him change his mind, lose interest, get annoyed or give up or just _something_ that would save me from that conversation.

He seemed completely at ease though, enjoying his drink, watching the party, chatting with guests and his family and brushing off Rose's model friends politely and just looking gorgeous.

Rose and Emmett were ready to go, and I didn't join the flock of unmarried women that swarmed to catch her bouquet. I was pretty amused when Alice caught it though, and Jasper beamed.

No surprise there, it had been obvious to me from the moment I introduced them. I met my brother and his new wife at the elevator, and rode down with them to the parking garage.

"Bells, I-"

"You're welcome," I said, cutting off whatever dramatic speech he was about to start. He laughed, and gave me a tight hug.

"I love you, and we'll call."

"I love you too. Both of you. And don't worry about me, just go have fun. You guys deserve it."

Rose gave me a teary hug too, and I had to assure her that everything she'd need was already packed in the trunk of the limo. I watched them get in and drive away, disappearing through the garage door. I stood there for a couple minutes before getting back to work.

I picked up Edward's phone on my way up, when some woman had told one of the guys that she'd pay him five thousand dollars for it. God, people can be fucking weird.

Guests started to trickle out afterwards, a few sticking around to take advantage of the free bars. One in the morning rolled around, and there were only nine guests left on the roof. A few drunken couples and Edward. Still, he made no sign to leave as he nursed a drink at the bar.

Might as well get this over with.

I walked over to him, and he gave me a relieved smile when he noticed me. He didn't look annoyed with me for disappearing for so long. Why couldn't he just have gotten bored and left?

"You're still here."

"Of course, you didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you?"

Apparently not.

"So, are you ready to get out of here?"

I looked around. Where could I do this? Not here, obviously. Not somewhere public. I definitely wasn't going over to his place.

We're already here, and Zeus is probably going crazy. It seems like I already threw my book of rules out the window. Why not? "Yeah, okay." I handed him his phone and he thanked me with a smile.

He jumped to his feet with enthusiasm, and I remembered that the DJ was still watching my violin. I went over and grabbed it, thanking the DJ again, and went over to take the stairs. I didn't want someone catching an elevator with us and seeing him walking out onto my floor with me. I remembered this one's name.

"It's still quiet out there, no more photographers came back," he informed me. Good.

"Thanks Jared. I'm calling it a night. Let everyone know to just go to Sam if anything comes up, he knows how to reach me."

"Of course." He gave Edward a calculating look, and I smiled. He was being thorough. "Is he bothering you?"

I laughed. Oh, he had no idea how much. "Yeah, but I can handle it." He returned my grin and stepped aside to let us through.

Edward was quiet yet attentive as he walked close beside me. I was kind of in shock about what I was doing. I was showing someone where I lived. Him. Jasper didn't even know where I lived, and I trust him. We've been friends for years now. My dress didn't leave any room to store the amount of keys it took to get into my apartment, and I'd had to make do with the shoes with the hollowed out heels that I had gotten from this specialty site I had found about a year ago.

"I've never seen shoes like that before," he stated. I grinned, no way was I telling him I found them looking for spy gear. He didn't need any more ammo on my work techniques.

"Then you haven't looked hard enough."

Zeus freaked out as soon as I opened the door. He was so excited, running around us in circles and jumping up and down. He didn't actually jump _on_ me, the boy just liked to fucking hop, and looked hilarious doing it. "Calm down goofball, you saw me like two hours ago." Once I started petting him he slowed down a bit. "Now, go lie down somewhere and chew on something." He gave my new company a curious look before obeying. I kicked off my other shoe, glad to finally be rid of the damn things. They sounded weird when I walked.

"You live here?" He asked curiously, following me inside.

I decided to be honest with him. Because honestly, I was just tired of all the secrets and lies. And the guilt that came along with them. "Yeah, I own the building actually." I went over and checked my monitors to make sure I hadn't missed anything today. I had a few e-mails, but nothing that needed immediate attention.

_Stop procrastinating._

I ignored myself and went over to the bar. "You want something to drink?"

"Uh, sure, whatever you're having."

_You've got good taste then_, I thought as I grabbed a bottle of my good scotch and some tumblers before taking a seat on my couch.

He came and sat right next to me. I was intensely aware of him there, I could practically feel his body heat, my head was clouded by the scent of his cologne. I hated that my hand was trembling as I poured us each a couple fingers. I knocked mine back quickly and topped it back up.

How the hell was I even supposed to do this? The only person I've actually just come out and told, about everything, was Rose. And that was so different. Jasper knew, but it had been Emmett that told him. And he didn't know many details. We didn't talk about it.

"You don't need to be nervous Bella, you're not going to scare me away."

_Yeah, that's turning out to be quite difficult_. I nodded. "I'm not sure where to start. I've never really just… done this before."

"Done what? Have a drink with someone in your apartment?"

I could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, but it was him having no idea how accurate he was that made me smile. "Yes actually, Emmett and Rose are the only people that have ever been to my house before." He seemed shocked. Yeah, so was I. I laughed. "I meant that I've never really..." I huffed, trying to find the words. I've never tried to tell my story like this? I haven't said the words aloud in years and it's hard? I've never had to tell someone that they already knew me? That I'd known them for years?

How was I supposed to do that? _So, you know that first movie you did way back when? I actually wrote it._

Who would believe that?

Maybe it would be better to just show him? Give him the hard evidence. But that would mean having to watch it too…

It would still be easier than this. "Fuck it." I got up and turned on my TV and PS3. I'd get the new one when they actually started making some decent games for it, I didn't see the point right now. I picked up the red book safe that I so rarely touched, and took out the DVD and stuck it in. I carried the book containing his letter and some news articles back over to the couch with my remote and controller.

The movie started as I sat down, and still not ready to look at the screen I knocked back my drink and topped it off once again.

"Bella, why-"

"Please, just watch," I said. This was the best I could do right now. I was trying. He frowned, but didn't argue and just watched curiously.

The movie started, and I sat there on my couch, curling up in my blanket and holding onto my glass tightly as I danced the line of having a panic attack. I was watching two different things right now. The prettied, edited, altered version of my family's life that would sell, and my memories of reality.

Once the actor knocked the actress out, and started carrying her out the door I stopped the movie. I couldn't watch the rest. It was just a reminder of what didn't happen. It was a dream, what I wished had happened.

But it hadn't happened.

I had lied.

"This is where things are different," I told him. I took out his letter, and handed it to him. I watched the confusion in his face as he read. His eyes were wide with shock when he looked up at me.

"How did you get this?" He asked quietly.

I could do this. You're older now, stronger. You told Rose.

I knocked back my drink, and let the damning words tumble out.

"Emmett didn't find me. Victor had tried to knock me out first, that's where all the blood had been from, but I guess he just couldn't hit me hard enough. He was able to get me out to his van and tie me up though. Emmett called the police, my dad actually, he was the chief of police in our town, when he found the trail of blood and Victor's jacket. After he… After Victor finished with me in his van, he pushed me out of the car while he was driving along the highway and left me for dead. That's the last thing I remember of that night, my face hitting the gravel. I woke up in the hospital two months later. Victor disappeared, they never caught him. I was thirteen, so my identity was protected from the press at least.

"I thought I'd be doing the world a fucking favor if I shared the story. My ending wouldn't sell though, so I wrote a happier one. I thought maybe if I made him famous it would be easier to catch him, but they never did."

I looked over at him, and he was just watching me, frozen in shock. I'm not sure how much of it he was taking in, but I just needed to get it all out. "All I did was create a serial killer. He's still out there. He's found me a few times in the past… well, a lot of times actually. He must have some contacts in the government, because like I told you, no matter what they did with us he always found me. Until we got out on our own and moved here. The night of my birthday… They found another body. He did the same thing to her, but when he tossed her out of the car, she died. Just like all the others."

Then I waited, drinking in his face, the proximity to another person, probably for the last time. I wouldn't make this mistake again, it hurt too much. My life was easier before he came into it.

And even though I had warned him, seeing the pain and anger in his eyes made me feel horrible. I was always fucking hurting him, and that wouldn't change unless he left… because I didn't think I was able to walk away from him anymore.

The question he chose surprised me, as did the fact that he didn't shift away from me all throughout his long internal debate.

"You chose me to play Emmett," he said quietly, but it seemed like a question almost, so I nodded anyways. "Why?"

I was tempted to smile, but it didn't come. He was the only person that came close. It was an easy choice, really. "Because you had a little sister too. No one else would have been able to understand the role right."

He was quiet for a minute, then shook his head. "Nope."

"What?" I wasn't sure what he was saying no to, and got ready to start taking out the news articles, my screenplay, or whatever other evidence he needed while dreading having to stretch out this conversation. His response completely took me by surprise though.

"If I had met you, I'd remember you," he said in a confident voice, looking at me seriously.

"We never met, the auditions were sent to me by video," I replied, still shocked by his train of thought. He seemed comforted by my explanation though.

"Oh, okay." I was watching him carefully, not having a fucking clue what he was going to say next. He took a deep breath before he spoke again quickly, piercing me with a serious expression. "It's not your fault that she's dead. Any of them. This guy is a psychotic asshole, his fucked up actions aren't your fault."

Didn't he get it though? I was the one who put him into action, I'd pushed the proverbial snowball down the hill, it was my fault that it grew. "But if I'd never written the fucking screenplay-"

"No," He interrupted, "Not even then. Bella, this is _not_ your fault. What happened to you is horrible, unimaginable, but it's not your fault for surviving."

I just didn't have the energy to fight about this subject anymore. No matter what anyone said, I put this all in motion. It was all a reminder that I lied, he was reminding me over and over again what had _really_ happened.

And what was _supposed_ to happen. I was supposed to die, I should have that night. I looked up at the frozen frame on the TV, the worst part of the movie; because it was the eeriest part in its familiarity. The sight of my own blood dripping onto the white carpet and staining it.

I turned the thing off, not being able to look for another second. I didn't want to be here, and my apartment was the only safe place I had left. It made it feel colder, and I tightened my grip on the blanket around me, pulling it tighter. Why hasn't he left yet? What more could he want to know?

He huffed dramatically, and slumped back against the couch in his spot next to me. I looked up at him, just waiting for him to get it over with, and he grinned.

Then started laughing.

"What?"

"You seriously thought this would scare me away from you?"

He had to know by now that I didn't answer obvious questions. He shook his head in exasperation.

"Wow, you have really underestimated my feelings for you."

I was in shock as he picked up my remote control, fiddling with it curiously. He looked up at me with a hopeful, shy smile. "You got any other movies?"

What the fuck was he doing? He never reacted to things the way he was supposed to, and I couldn't just push my disbelief aside. "Aren't you mad that I didn't tell you earlier?" Why couldn't he just fucking yell at me, get mad at me for once? His acceptance of me was the hardest fucking thing for me to accept.

He watched me for a moment and let out a soft sigh. "No. I get why it's something that would be hard to talk about. Besides, I find it incredibly difficult to make myself angry with you," he said with a teasing smirk.

"I've noticed that. You have the patience of a saint."

He laughed loudly. "Only with you. I didn't think I would ever hear someone speak those words about me in this lifetime."

I wasn't quite sure I heard him correctly at first, but he just sat there patiently, watching me like he always did. He'd never done it from quite so close before.

He really wasn't leaving.

That heavy weight on my chest started to lighten, making it easier to breathe, to think. I felt myself smile.

He knew, and he wasn't leaving.

He wanted to watch a movie, and I wanted to laugh. This sense of relief was intoxicating.

"So… movie?" I asked, just to make sure. He nodded with smile. I got up, a little unsteadily as those three scotches made their existence known to my head, and went over to eject the disk from my PlayStation. DVDs took up too much room, and I was a bit of a hoarder, so I had all of my disks in a giant CD book. I thumbed through them, trying to find something he might like. I had no idea what sort of movies he liked watching. I decided to steer clear off all of _his_ movies, because even though I never watched them I owned them all, along with any romance ones.

I settled for the Hobbit, (I don't do movie theaters and had just picked it up last week, so I had been looking forward to watching it anyways.) I was freezing in this excuse for a dress, so I quickly ran over to my dresser, picked out something much less revealing and much more comfortable, and went back to the couch. I wrapped my blanket back around myself when I sat down, and topped off my drink, reminding myself that this would be my last one. I'd made a shit ton of progress today, I was just trying to calm my nerves.

I was very aware of him next to me while we watched in surprisingly comfortable silence. Though I wasn't sitting as close as I had been before I got changed, it was still really close. It made me nervous, even though I knew I wasn't actually afraid of him. It was confusing, and distracting as hell. But I held my ground and stayed still. He was no doubt still processing what I had told him, I saw him look at me a few times but he didn't say anything, and I was just kind of waiting to see what he was going to do. I was talked-out, mentally and emotionally exhausted, and probably came off as boring, but didn't really know what else to do.

So I just waited. I probably should have turned on the heat, the apartment was freezing, but I didn't want to move away from him.

I was in completely foreign territory. I was alone in my apartment with a guy, sitting next to him on my couch watching a movie.

And I really didn't want to move away from him.

Damn, how long are these credits? Is the movie still starting or did I miss it? Nope, still starting.

I put my drink down, cutting myself off.

He was once again very slow and deliberate with his movements, like he was trying not to scare me. (Which is probably exactly was he was doing.) He slid closer to me, closing that small distance, straightening up slightly as he draped his arm around my shoulders. I stopped breathing for a moment, my body freezing in shock, but not pulling away. It took me a minute to process. He was touching me, holding me almost, but it wasn't aggressive in the slightest. The weight of his arm felt almost comforting… protective. And he was so _warm_.

And he didn't do anything else. He stayed just like that, seeming completely at ease, and not put off by my tenseness. I felt myself start to relax. Despite everything I told him, here he was, showing me that nothing's changed. Showing me that he cares… but wasn't going to push me.

For some reason, this compassionate, gentle, sweet… yet sometimes annoying man thinks that he loves me. It was kind of hard to wrap my mind around.

What I did know, was that right now, I was happy. I liked the proximity, the closeness. I felt safe.

And I cautiously let myself lean into his side.

I watched for some sort of disapproval, but a small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth, and he didn't move.

It was hard trying to concentrate on the movie afterwards, but it was a long one. I liked that he wasn't one of those people that talked during movies. I was exhausted, and now, wrapped in his warmth, I was extremely comfortable, but I knew there was zero chance of me falling asleep while he was here. Still, I rested my head against his shoulder, and let my mind drift while we watched the movie.

. . . . . . . . . .

**She finally told him! Any questions or comments? Please leave me a review!**

**And thanks to those who have left reviews, and followed or faved! It means so much to me :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**SM owns everything Twilight. This plot is mine though.**

. . . . . . . . . .

It was after three in the morning when the movie finished, and I was still reluctant to move. Edward's weight was a little heavier now; he had actually fallen asleep about an hour ago and was heavily leaning on me.

I couldn't just sit there all night though; I knew I had things that needed to be attended to even though my phone hadn't rang. I decided I'd just let him sleep though, if he was comfortable enough to actually fall asleep here then I didn't think he would mind, and I just couldn't really bring myself to wake him up an kick him out of my apartment at three in the morning.

It didn't bother me at all, I knew after a conversation like today's I wouldn't have slept anyways, no matter how much I drank.

Very carefully, I slid out from under his arm and tried not to let him drop too hard. I was able to slide one of my purple pillows under him before his head hit the cushion, and even though he felt like a human space heater I draped my blanket over him before turning off the TV and hitting the lights.

My apartment was never completely dark, thanks to my floor-to-ceiling windows and the city lights. I checked my phones and had no messages from Sam, but did have one from Emmett and Rose gushing about the private plane. That put a smile on my face, and I silently made my way over to my washroom. I decided I wanted a shower before I tried to accomplish anything else, and tried to just wash some of the stress off of me along with all the crap that was on my face and in my hair. I had to wash it about five times to get all of the temporary hair dye out. I got dressed in some jeans and a dark violet blouse, and braided my hair so I wouldn't wake him up with my blow dryer. I pulled on a coat, loading my phones and keys in my pockets before writing him a note in case he woke up.

**I'm sorry for leaving, but I'm just upstairs taking care of a few things. Call if you wake up.**

I left my number and Zeus jumped to join me when I slid on some boots, unlocking, and then locking my door behind me before we went next door. Everything was shut off, and I picked up Sam's report from the desk by the monitors.

**All guests were cleared out before two. Things stayed quiet after you left, just a few people taking advantage of the booze and snacks. The DJ and caterers were escorted out as were all my guys and I double checked to make sure all doors were locked after everyone was gone.  
>Thank you once again for yet another great opportunity. I really appreciate it. If there's ever anything I can do for you, please let me know. Don't hesitate to call if you need anything.<br>-Sam**

All of my keys were left there also, along with the list of names of tenants who had had to deal with the commotion in the lobby last night. There were only three couples, which wasn't too bad. I wrote them each an identical note, apologizing for their inconveniences last night, which I attached to three different bottles of leftover champagne from the fridge in the apartment, before going down to the main floor and sticking one in each of their mailboxes. They were eighty-dollar bottles of champagne, they should have nothing to complain about.

There were some privileges to working at the club. Awesome deals on good liquor was one of them.

Then I made my way up to the roof. The caterers had done an excellent job; all of the tables, chairs, runners and temporary bars had been packed away, as had the DJ's set up that he'd brought. They'd swept and picked up any garbage. All my furniture was still packed away, but with winter not far off I wouldn't be taking much back out. I walked over to my storage shed, and took out my small wicker loveseat, dragging it over to leave under the awning by the door before locking the shed back up.

The only sign left of the wedding were the lights, and I decided I was going to leave them up. It would be beautiful for Christmas. I sat and watched them for a bit while Zeus ran around and inspected the newly cleared roof.

Once he got bored we went back downstairs, but on the west side of the building. The caterers had cleaned up here as well, all dishes were cleaned and put away, all the tables and chairs were stacked in storage, and the floors, counters and stoves had all been cleaned. I went through the fridges, and Zeus and I stopped to snack on some of the leftover chicken and roasted potatoes. And some cake. And just a few of those stuffed mushroom caps. Okay, I was starving, but I'd had trouble eating with an impossibly good looking Edward staring at me throughout dinner.

The top of the cake, a tiny cake with the little bride and groom, covered in eerily life-like buttercream roses, was completely untouched, and I removed it carefully and went through the different types of take-out containers in the cupboards, finding the perfect sized white box to put it in, before loading up some more of the food and bringing it back over to my place. I had to go up to the roof, walk across to the other door and go back down to get to my apartment, and felt a bit of relief that he was still there, sound asleep on my couch, when I walked back in. I put the boxed cake into my freezer, then the other food in my fridge. I had enough room left, so I went back and loaded up the rest of the food in containers, dropped off my trash, and fit the rest of the leftovers, barely, into my fridge.

Jasper and I were going to be eating a lot of leftovers this week.

It was only five, and with nothing else to do I grabbed my tablet, logged into my Netflix, and watched some more Walking Dead with one ear bud in while lying in my bed.

. . . . . . . . . .

By the time nine rolled around, I couldn't wait any longer to eat. I was starving, my stomach growling loudly. I was surprised, and a little envious, that he was able to sleep so peacefully, so long in a foreign place, even with the sun beating down on him.

And I couldn't very well just let him sleep on my couch all day. As nice as it turned out having him here, I had shit to do. So I got up and started making some breakfast, trying to be reasonably quiet. I started washing and cutting up some fruit, and dumping my strawberries and bananas in with some yogurt and ice into my blender. Zeus was shadowing me excitedly, waiting for me to drop something, though we both knew very well he did not like fruit. At all. It was right on par with the word "cat" for him. I went and poured him some food, though he didn't pay any attention to it, and I heard an uncomfortable moan come from my couch as I walked back to my counter. I looked over at the noise, and a second later Edward sat upright quickly, looking around. His eyes found me pretty quickly in my kitchen.

Even hung over, sleeping in his clothes on a couch all night and just waking up, he was still unbelievably gorgeous. I hope he wasn't pissed that I let him sleep there, but I'd honestly thought it would be the nicer thing to do.

Once again, completely foreign territory. I tried to give him a polite smile, but it felt awkward on my face. "Um, hey. I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't, the construction site in my brain did," he groaned, but still managed to give me a genuine smile. I felt myself laugh quietly in relief. He'd feel better after he drank something, I'd had a long time and many bottles of water to sober up.

"Cover your ears then, because this is going to make it worse," I warned him before turning on my blender. Ugh, this one was starting to leak a bit. I'd have to get a new one again. When I stopped he asked where my washroom was, and after pointing him in the right direction I tried to conquer the difficult task of scrubbing strawberry juice off of my hands. Why don't I ever use gloves? Same thing almost every day. I was addicted to my morning smoothies.

When he came back, sitting close by on one of the stools at my island, he looked half asleep again. I grinned. What a baby.

"You look like shit today, Hollywood," I lied teasingly.

"I know. Sorry for passing out on your couch." Yeah, he was nursing a serious hangover. I felt kind of bad for him, I'd always been able to handle my liquor pretty well. Great fucking metabolism ran in my family.

"Don't worry about it," I said, pouring two glasses, dropping in some straws and setting one in front of him along with some aspirin. "Drink, you'll feel better."

He knows I've done a background check on him; he isn't allergic to any medications. No watermelon has ever been permitted in my kitchen.

He'd liked it last time, so I didn't really worry about him not liking it. Sure enough, he sat there and drank, that small smile playing on one corner of his mouth while he watched me quietly.

He was much easier company than Zeus was being right now. Now that I had taken out the _real_ food he was close to tripping me every time I turned around. I kept kicking him out, and he just kept coming back.

And I could only say no to that face so many times.

"What?" I said, finally stopping and staring at him. He didn't even blink, staring me straight back in the eyes. "Do you want some cheese?"

He barked, and started shifting in excitement. God, I loved him so much. He was like my very own direwolf. I knew I spoiled him, but who wouldn't?

"You know, I really shouldn't give you any. You're going to get fat. Maybe I should get a cat to keep you busy."

I really don't know how this happened, as far as I knew he'd never seen a cat, maybe at the shelter when he was a puppy. But he let out a predicable growl when I said the word. "Calm down, you know I'd never do that to you." He was enough trouble on his own. Though I had thought about getting a second dog, a playmate for him, I wouldn't get a cat. It wasn't that I didn't like them, I loved animals, but I just didn't think having a cat would work with my lifestyle. Zeus could go out on trips with me or Emmett; you couldn't take a cat camping for a week, and they weren't good at being moved. I cut another piece of cheese, Zeus' tail thumping loudly on the floor as he watched with rapt attention, and when I smiled at him he whined and started spinning in circles. Patience wasn't one of his virtues when it came to food.

"If you want some cheddar, give me a hug," I told him, setting the slice of cheese on top of my head and holding open my arms, knowing he'd have no difficulty reaching it. He was quick to jump up, and covered my face in kisses after inhaling the cheese, making me laugh.

I pushed him away, needing to get back to my food, but quickly washed my hands and wiped off my face before pouring my eggs. I started putting stuff on plates while they cooked, and sat down with him once I was done.

I sat in the seat next to him. I could have left one empty in between us, but I didn't, still pushing myself.

"Thanks, you didn't need to cook me breakfast."

Shit. What was with you and your need to cook for people? Does he think it's weird? _Fuck, just say something neutral before you say something embarrassing._ "The salt and protein is good for the hang over."

"You don't look hung over at all."

I wasn't, and just shrugged. I didn't want to brag.

_There's nothing to brag about. You're an insomniac, that's just another fucked up thing he doesn't need to know._

"When did you get up?"

Well, I'd finished my shower and gotten dressed around four, which was my definition of getting up. That was… five hours ago. "A few hours ago." Not technically a lie.

"Seriously? Do you even fucking sleep?"

Once again, he was dead on. I didn't want to lie, so I just shrugged. He seemed pretty awake now though, and was keeping the conversation rolling easily. "So, what are your plans for the day?"

I thought about the long list of responsibilities I had right now. Even taking time off from the Library, they pretty much let me do whatever I wanted, I was good at getting good replacements for myself when I wasn't in and worked a lot from home, I still have my personal life, and the gym and club to look over. I had work at the club tonight too.

Another long day with no sleep. Woohoo.

It'll be lonely with them gone, but at least I'll be busy. "I gotta stop by the gym and check in on things in a bit, then head into work around eight. What about you?"

"No plans. Would you like some company?"

He still wanted to hang out? I didn't feel like I'd been very fun company.

_He probably feels guilty, after everything you told him last night. He knows you're completely alone in the city, and the only person who knows where you live. He probably feels bad leaving you alone._

I sighed. "You don't need to feel obligated to hang out with me Hollywood."

"I don't feel _obligated_, I'm asking because I enjoy my time more when it's spent around you compared to anyone else."

Fuck. If I didn't already know he couldn't lie for shit, I would have said bravo for the good performance. But he was just looking at me like he'd said "Pass the salt." I didn't know what to do with him when he said shit like that, and it was frustrating as hell. I sighed in irritation.

"What?" He asked innocently.

"Do you have some sort of secret cache of pick-up lines in your pocket that you're constantly tapping into? Where do you come up with this stuff?"

He looked surprised, then laughed. I really liked that laugh. "No, it's just the influence you have on me, my brain and mouth have difficulty communicating in your presence."

And there he goes again. I laughed at the impossibility that was everything that was happening right now. I got up and brought my plate over to the sink, needing to regroup.

"So is that a yes?"

Like I'd really be able to send him away after he kept saying stuff like that? He over-estimated my self-control. "Sure." I looked back over to him, and had to address the biggest problem with this. I couldn't walk around unnoticed, with an adorably rumpled, yet impeccably well-dressed Edward Cullen. "I'll bring you by your place so you can get changed first." His plate was cleared, so I plucked it away quickly before rinsing it off.

"You're a really good cook." Wow, he just kept it coming.

"Thanks. It was either learn, or live off of pizza with Emmett and Charlie. They can't boil water without burning it."

"Charlie?"

It was still hard to remind myself to talk about him in the past tense. "Oh, uh… that was my dad."

"Oh… would it be okay if I asked what happened to him? You said you were seventeen when he passed?"

"Yeah, he was shot." It actually wasn't as difficult to talk to him about Charlie as I thought it would be. It still hurt, but I knew it always would. Losing someone you love isn't something you just get over, it's something you just learn to live with as time passes. Especially when it was your fault that said person died.

"What happened to you after? You would have still been in high school still, right?"

I smiled, remembering the bet I'd won against Charlie. He didn't want me to stop going to the public school, so I'd made a deal with him. I told him if I wasn't able to get my GED before I turned fifteen, I'd go back.

I got my diploma one month before my birthday, and was pretty damn proud about it.

"No, after the accident I didn't go back to school. We lived in a really small town, you know, one of those places where everyone knows everyone else's business? I couldn't deal with all the gossip, so I dropped out. I did correspondence instead, got my diploma when I was fifteen. Emmett was older, I stayed with him after Charlie passed." I finished drying the plates as I was talking, and turned back to him. I was so relieved not to see one of those pitying looks I was so used to. "You good to go?"

"Sure."

He followed me over to my door, and Zeus came running when I whistled for him. I held up my hand in our visual command to sit, and he waited patiently while I clipped on his leash, slid on my coat, boots and sunglasses, and undid the locks on my door. After they were both out, I did the locks back up, and we took the elevator down to the garage.

I opened up the passenger door for Zeus to get in, there wasn't enough space on my side for him to jump, and then walked over to my door when Edward climbed in after him. As soon as I had my seatbelt on, I smiled when I saw Zeus was already pretty much sitting in Edward's lap, his face pressed impatiently against the window, licking it in anticipation and scratching. Edward was staring at him, not knowing what to do. I laughed.

"Sorry, you're kind of in his spot," I explained. He cautiously scratched his ear, and got a kiss before Zeus went back to waiting for the window to open. I pulled out of my spot, and drove out of the garage onto the busy street.

"I don't mind at all. What's he doing?"

"He wants you to open the window."

He smiled, and opened it up for him, becoming Zeus' new best friend.

It was all just so… I didn't know the right word. It felt right, normal, the three of us sitting together in my truck. The upbeat, happy tune of the CD playing reflected my mood well.

I made the drive over to his building easily, frowning when I saw the photographers standing outside. It can't be easy, having the world constantly watching you and wanting a piece of you. I thought one stalker was bad, he dealt with thousands. And a lot of them would know he was dropped off in a wrinkled suit, and probably have a million horrible theories as to why.

"Just a heads up, there are two photographers outside of your building."

"Oh… what should I do?"

"Whatever you usually do?" Why was he asking me? Surely he was used to it. "Unless you want me to come in and hold your hand?"

I enjoyed teasing him way too much, though the look he gave me made me think he wouldn't have minded if I did accompany him.

Giving him a lift was one thing, to the press that is. Going into his apartment, dressed casually like this, was something completely different.

"I mean, what if they get a picture of your truck?"

Ah, he was thinking. There was a reason I only used my truck to drive to his apartment though. I adjusted my sunglasses confidently. "My license plate isn't traceable. Otherwise I never would have gone with you to LA in it. I'm fine, I just feel kind of guilty dropping you off in a winkled suit so early in the day. You know what they'll think."

He shrugged easily. "I don't care about that."

"Okay, hurry up then. We don't want to sit in here all day." He smiled, and paused, watching me oddly for a moment before hopping out of my truck. He walked past the two reporters like they didn't even exist, walking into the building. When he disappeared they looked at my truck, and started walking towards it. When they were about fifteen feet away, I looked over at my boy.

"Zeus, protect."

He started barking,_ loudly_, and the two men froze, looking uncertainly at each other for a moment, before turning away.

"Shh, good boy Zeus," I said happily, and he quieted instantly, smiling and licking my face. He didn't keep us waiting very long, coming back down about ten minutes later in a pair of dark jeans, and a khaki sweater that fit him too well over a white t-shirt. He ignored the guys once again, and they didn't follow him over to the truck. "That didn't take long," I noted, after he had his seat belt back on and pulled back onto the road.

"Didn't want you to sit here all day," he teased back, still grinning at me. I rolled my eyes, but I was loving how easy it was to hang out with him like this. Zeus crawled back onto his lap, biting at the air while hanging his head out the window.

I knew how heavy Zeus was, and I laughed when eventually Edward tapped out, undoing his seat belt and moving closer to me on the bench when he gave up the spot.

I kind of liked this seating arrangement more. The drive to the gym was quiet, but it was comfortable. I parked in Emmett's spot, because it wasn't like he'd be using it, and the three of us made our way into the gym. The receptionist, like most people, didn't recognize me. She only noticed Zeus next to me.

"Ma'am, you can't bring-" she stopped when I took off my sunglasses and leveled her with a look.

I, or Samantha anyways, might have had a bit of a reputation here, but it was all part of a bigger picture that I had to maintain. It was an easy thing for me now though. "Excuse me?" I said in a stern, disapproving tone.

"Sorry Ma'am, I didn't recognize you. Good morning. Would you like some coffee?"

I put my glasses back on. Edward drank coffee, I hadn't offered him any this morning. I had one of those Tassimo things at home for Rose and Emmett. Just like the ones we got for this building. "No thanks. You?"

He seemed slightly restless, and wondered if he didn't really care for this side of me. He politely declined, and followed me up the stairs to the top floor. The woman working at reception upstairs recognized Zeus, and gave me a polite smile which I returned with a nod when I passed. I led the way into Emmett's office, and turned on his computer before starting up the treadmill for an impatient Zeus. Edward took a seat on one of the adjacent chairs while I sat down behind Emmett's desk. He was going to be so bored, I wonder if he knew what he was asking for when he offered to come along. The computer started up, and I immediately opened Emmett's mail. I had to fight back a groan when I saw the little numbers in brackets beside his inbox. I knew he didn't do this to me personally, I had kind of surprised them with that trip, but it was hard not to be annoyed. I made a new folder for him, and started clicking through and selecting all the personal e-mails he had from friends, he had a lot of forwards from Jasper and Garrett, to move them out of the way. I set up his out of office reply, then started going through the more official looking things.

I wondered how long he would sit quietly like that for, why had he wanted to do this?

Whatever the reason, the company was pretty nice.

"So, what are you doing?"

I fought the urge to smile, that didn't take long.

"Just making sure there aren't any important e-mails, checking some invoices, confirming delivery dates… It's all pretty boring."

"You know how to do all that stuff?"

I did laugh then, Emmett may have taught me all I know about martial arts, but I taught him everything he needed to know about running a business. "Yeah."

"How?"

"I built this company, I can do anything that Emmett can here except bench three hundred pounds."

"I thought it was Emmett's company?"

"It is."

"I don't think I follow." His voice was genuinely curious, and I let out a small sigh before explaining.

"Emmett, he's had to give up a lot because of me, his football career being one of those things. I wanted him to do something he loved, and when we came here… I bought him this gym, and helped him get things started. It's his company, I don't own more than some shares, I just know it really well."

I was waiting for him to see the warning in my explanation, that with all the resources I might have, my freedom was greatly limited by my own rules and safety precautions, but his mind caught onto something else.

"How do you afford all this shit?" He said suddenly, looking immediately chagrined. "Sorry, I guess that's kind of rude. It's just… with your jobs…"

It was a reasonable question, and I realized that as much as I've told him, he really didn't know a whole lot about the types of things I did in my spare time, or used to do. I had a bit of an obsession, learning anything I could that may help me to take down Victor in some way, that has had many years in isolation to fester and grow. "I have a lot of hobbies that take in some extra cash," I said, giving him the short version. Otherwise we'd be here all day.

He grinned at me. "Anything illegal?"

Why do people always jump to that conclusion? Well, some things I do might be considered 'illegal,' but I was smart about what I did and only used it for good reasons. "I have a different definition of the term 'illegal' than most people." Zeus was starting to get tired, or maybe just bored, but I went and slowed down the machine for him anyways. After coming clean about my knowledge about him, and letting him ask so many questions, I didn't feel guilty trying to point the interrogation back at him. "I feel like I've told you two million things about me in the last day. Let's talk about you."

That made him look uneasy. "What about me?"

"Well, what do you do all day?" He shifted on the couch, and I couldn't stop my smile. Revenge is sweet, now he knows how I've felt most of the past couple months with all his prying questions. He wasn't very comfortable on the receiving end. "Oh, shy now are you?"

"It's just… my life is really boring compared to yours."

Hah, yeah, right. "Edward Cullen, big screen movie star, I doubt your life is fucking boring. Come on, tell me." I leaned back in my chair, propping up my feet and showing him that I planned on waiting him out. It was something I wasn't very good with, being patient, but I was making an effort for him.

"Okay, well… I usually have dinner at my parent's place twice a week. I hang out with Alice about every other day. She's like my best friend, as sad as that is."

"I don't think that's sad."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah. Emmett's my best friend, and I wouldn't trade that for anything." And if he thought that was sad, well, that was his own fucking problem. My brother's one of the coolest people out there, and Alice was pretty awesome in her own way.

"We'll, I've only been back two months. When I was in LA my life was completely different, but when I came back here… I kind of just let all of my old friends go. I hang out at home a lot, reading manuscripts, playing my piano, watching TV, going to the gym. Keeping to myself a lot I guess, but it's kind of a nice change. I don't miss my old life."

I was hit with a wave of guilt that I quickly tried to hide. From what I could tell, it seemed like he had been isolating himself since he came here, and just reconnecting with his family like he'd told me before. It couldn't have been an easy change, going from the party life to solitude, even if it was what he wanted.

But there were still two things he was doing, keeping himself somewhere outside, in the world around people.

The gym, and his weekend trips to the club.

And I'd banned him from both. Well, Emmett did, but it was my fault. And sure, the ban was lifted and had only been in effect a couple weeks, but I felt so much worse about it now.

"Why did you let your old friends go?"

"Well… I tried to reconnect with them when I moved back, but it always felt more like a press interview than hanging out with friends. It's like they don't see me as a person anymore, they just want to hear gossip about celebrities."

It was a long time ago, and completely different circumstances, but I kind of knew how he felt. Having people change around you. I'd been a pretty social person before Victor, and after that… the only people I would talk to were my dad, Emmett, and Angela.

"Well, that blows." I knew apologies for those sorts of things were useless, and was stuck with overstating the obvious.

"Yeah."

I tried to shift the subject quickly, to something hopefully more positive. "Are you looking forward to starting your next movie?" Despite how well known of an actor he was, it was very rare that he ever spoke of it. Actually, that time I had accompanied him to sign his contract for his next film had been the only time, and he hadn't really spoken to me about it. I was just there. It was kind of odd.

"I'm not sure to be honest, everything feels different now. It's an awesome script though."

"Do you like being an actor?"

When he opened his mouth to respond, no words came out, and he closed his lips again while he paused. He looked over at me, like he was looking for some sort of help to respond. I didn't need him to explain then, I saw it all in his eyes. This wasn't a passion, it was just a job. That spark, the excitement I had seen so many years ago, wasn't there anymore.

He looked lost, and it was a feeling I knew all too well. I waited though, patiently, because it was a conclusion that he definitely needed to come to himself.

"I did, it was my dream for so long, hell I've been doing it for almost a decade now, but… everything is just so fake. It's fun sometimes, but I feel like most of the time, it just makes me feel empty almost. Does that make sense?"

"Yeah, it does." I sat up then, and hoped I wasn't overstepping any bounds as I tried to give him some advice. "I know it's none of my business, but if you don't enjoy it, you shouldn't waste your time with it. You can do anything in the world you want to. You only have one life, don't waste it on forcing yourself to do something you don't enjoy."

"I don't know what else I'd do. This had always been it." I was a little taken aback by the depth of his honesty, and vulnerability when he said that.

"There's never been another profession you were interested in?"

"Apparently when I was four, I wanted to be a fire truck."

He surprised me with that, making me laugh, and Zeus chose that moment to tackle me with kisses, making me laugh ever harder as I tried to fight him off. When he did finally back down, I brushed myself off and looked back at Edward, who was watching me with a curious smile.

I hadn't forgotten about our conversation, and wondered if he'd think I was being pushy. I wasn't good at the whole 'words of wisdom' thing, but I did have a lot of tools at my disposal, one that could very well give me the knowledge I needed to be able to help him. A lot of guys think it's all fun and games working security, but it's not a walk in the park working for me. I'd helped a few find their paths, or at least a path, with the career ability placement survey before. I took my laptop out of my backpack, got up, and took a seat on the small couch that was against the wall.

"Come sit with me, I want to show you something," I said, immensely relieved by how casual my voice came out. He didn't hesitate, but Zeus was faster, beating him to the couch and wedging himself in between us. Always the center of attention, Emmett must have been letting him on this couch, because he knew very well he wasn't supposed to be on the furniture. It had been a strict rule of mine while I'd been raising him, because if he jumped on my bed in the middle of the night and started licking my face or bumped into me while I was sleeping, I usually woke up screaming. I'd never actually let someone else touch my laptop before, it was strictly off limits to anyone because of everything that was on it, but I knew Edward hadn't taking any computer science programs, especially none that would leave him capable of getting through any of my encryptions, so I wasn't really worried about him seeing anything he shouldn't when I pulled up the website and handed it over to him.

"What's this?"

"It's a tool I use a lot when I have employees looking for another line of work. It's completely anonymous, but you click through and answer a bunch of random questions, and it gives you ideas of careers that might suit you, but more importantly,_ why_ they would suit you. You don't have to do it of course, but it might give you some insight as to what else is out there." I nudged him in the arm with my elbow jokingly, surprising myself once again how much easier it was for me to touch him, compared to everyone else in the world. It still felt foreign though, but not panic or anger inducing. "Or you know, you could just retire early and buy a boat. Travel the world. Isn't that what _normal_ celebrities do?"

I was rewarded by his deep, warming laugh as he looked back down at the screen, and felt a wash of relief when he started clicking at the questions.

I paused for a brief moment. I really hadn't wanted to move, but I couldn't very well just sit here and stare at him. So, I got up, leaving Edward Cullen with my laptop on the couch of my brother's office while I sorted through invoices and organized my brother's calendar for him, slowly making my way through his inbox.

Well, not slowly actually. I got on a roll and zoomed right through. I finished with a proud smile, looking up to find Edward completely absorbed in his survey, with Zeus leaning up against him and watching his screen.

I pulled out my phone, and took a photo, completely unnoticed by either of them. I closed up things on my brother's computer, then leaned back in my chair, going through e-mails on various phones while watching Edward from the corner of my eye. I noticed immediately when he frowned about ten minutes later.

"What's wrong?"

"These results… they're really weird," he said hesitantly.

"How so?"

"Come look."

I took my time walking over, forcing myself not to rush, and since Zeus was taking up most of the space on his left, I sat down in the smaller space on his right. As always, in unusual proximity to someone knew, I felt almost hyper aware of him as I leaned in slightly to read the screen. He made no move to touch me though, which was comforting. I found myself relaxing around him oddly quickly, once again finding his proximity more thrilling than worrying.

His results were pretty odd. Honestly… his seemingly random results reminded me exactly of mine. "EMT, Doctor, musician, actor, mechanic, police officer… What did you do? These all seem pretty fucking disjoined. Though I bet your father would enjoy seeing those first two." He grinned, and I took that as a confirmation, but he didn't say anything. I couldn't get a read on if any of them appealed to him specifically. Further research was needed, and a small shiver of excitement shot through me before I spoke. "Mind if I check something?"

"Sure," he said easily, and I reached over to scroll down the page, clicking on the more detailed report with statistics. My elbow brushed against the firm ripple of muscle on his stomach, but he didn't flinch or pull away from me in the slightest. He seemed to lean in slightly, if anything.

And I didn't move away.

I went on to read out some of the bigger points, but he still didn't speak or hint about any preferences. I had to wonder if he was doing this purposefully or if none of them really appealed to him at all. It was a little hard to concentrate, I kept getting distracted by how warm he was. He really was like a human space heater.

His only verbal response was a; "Oh, hmm," causing me to sigh.

"But none of that matters," I admitted, giving up trying to read his mind.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, when I get people to do this, it's usually because I think they already know they want to do something, they just don't _know_ that that know. But when they hear it from someone unbiased, like a computer, the answer is a little easier to see. Did any of these things jump out at you like that?"

"Well... they all do, kind of. There's stuff I like about each of them."

Well then, why didn't he just say so? Was it really that hard? "Than do all of them."

He raised an eyebrow at me, then started laughing. "Yeah, right."

"What's so funny about that?" I did_ not_ appreciate being laughed at.

"No one can do all that."

Says who? "You're underestimating the power of human ambition Edward. You can do anything and everything that you want to; you just have to want it enough."

His expression changed after that, and it seemed like he was contemplating my words. That look… his eyes had darkened, piercing me, holding me in place, and after as his eyes flickered briefly to my mouth it looked like he was going to eat me alive.

My pulse was thudding loudly in my ears, and I blurted out the first words my mushy, flustered brain could find. "You hungry? I could really go for a burger right now." I stood up quickly, putting space in between us before I could be further tempted to close that short distance, and tried to stretch out the slight tremble in my hands.

His voice sounded slightly strained. "Yeah sure, do you mind if I check something here first?"

I didn't care what he did to my laptop, I needed to breathe and suddenly there was no air left in the room. "Sure, I'll be right back." I quickly ducked into Emmett's private bathroom, closing the door behind me and leaning back against it.

What the hell was that?

Not the look. I knew what that look on his face had been, he'd actually given me that look before. Instead of being angered, bothered, or uncomfortable though, I had liked it.

I had really, _really_ liked it. And I wasn't even drunk, not in the slightest. Tired? Yes, but there was a difference.

Had I wanted him to kiss me? I thought about it, but the idea of it still terrified me. No, that wasn't it, but… I had wanted to be closer. I'd wanted to be touching him. I'd wanted him to keep looking at me like that.

Did the ventilation system break down or something? Why was there no more oxygen left in this building? I closed my eyes, and forced myself to take slow, deep breaths.

Twenty-seven deep breaths later, I felt a little closer to normal, and walked back into the office. He was closing my laptop as I opened the door.

"All good?" I asked, proud of how steady my voice came out.

"Yup. Let's go."

He handed me back my laptop, and after packing up my backpack he followed me back out to my truck.

We went out and got some lunch, Rose would have had a stroke seeing me let him pay for me, but it looked like his ego needed it after passing out on my couch last night so I let it slide. He was polite and attentive, and it never really got awkward, but I could tell he was mostly somewhere else in his head. He seemed deep in thought.

I didn't mind, because I was too. Today had been… fun.

Shit. There it was. I thought about the few times I'd been alone with Edward. First when we went to LA; that had been surprisingly easy. Sure, I'd been extremely uncomfortable for a lot of it, but that had been normal. What hadn't been normal was how comfortable I had been with him sitting there. Or how much joy I'd taken in making him laugh when I'd egged his ex's house.

Then there was the night he'd saved me in the alley. He'd been able to pull me out of the haze, and before I'd passed out, I'd felt almost… safer, having him there next to me.

Then my Birthday, that beautiful morning at the park we'd had together. I hadn't been able to stop smiling the entire time, and it had been so easy to talk to him. And then again that night… before I got the call. I'd probably only been two glasses of wine from crawling into his lap.

And then, lastly, last night. I'd actually gotten through telling him my story. Fairly calmly, if I do say so myself.

He was easy to be around, and I _liked_ being around him.

… When would I get to see him again? Did he want to see me again? He'd said before that he wanted to be 'friends.' I'd told him I'd think about it, and I guess now I had.

I wanted to be Edward's friend.

How can I say that without sounding lame? How would this even work?

Was he thinking about this too, or was he thinking of ways to get out of this now?

Whatever he was thinking, it was now causing him to frown. I'd never been a patient person. "What's on your mind? You look like you're having a pretty heated discussion with yourself."

He gave me a sweet smile as I shoveled a handful of fries into my mouth.

"I have to go to LA again in a couple weeks. I was wondering if it would be weird to ask you again, since we're… Like, friends now?" His voice was uncertain, yet hopeful, and I think my heart may have skipped a beat.

_Okay, be cool. Don't start screaming like a teenager now_. I gave a nonchalant shrug. "If it doesn't overlap with any of my other obligations, I don't mind. Someone needs to protect you from the masses. Just because you know my name doesn't mean you're getting a discount though." I kept my voice teasing, even shooting him a wink at the end. His whole body seemed to relax as he let out a deep breath, and smiled happily.

I'd already done it once, I didn't see the harm in doing it again.

"Rose said you had done this sort of thing before right? With who?"

"Mostly just Rose herself, although I've helped out a few of her friends who were in a jam."

He nodded. "Yeah, I've seen how protective you are with her. Is she in trouble or something?"

As much as I didn't want to lie to him, her secret wasn't mine to tell, and I'd take it with me to the grave before betraying her trust. "She's just important to me."

"Okay," he said easily. "So, I can bring you the information for the trip next time I see you?"

I nodded, and bit back a grin when he did that nervous messing-up-his-messy-hair thing he always did.

And somehow, it always made his hair look even better. It defied the laws of rationality.

"When will that be?"

My stomach fluttered excitedly, loving that he seemed just as eager as I did. "When would you like it to be?" I asked playfully.

He wasn't playing around, his answer was quick and serious. "Tomorrow."

The deep, serious tone of his voice made a shiver pass through me, and I tried to rub the excited, almost nervous sensation from the back of my neck. "Sure, okay. I can come over before I head to the club if you want, say around five?"

"Sounds good," he said with his warm smile. I went to town on my milkshake to hide my own smile. He was just so… open. He didn't try to hide his smiles from me, he was constantly smiling at me, and the way he looked at me with those deep green eyes…

Ah, brain freeze. I scrunched up my face against the unpleasant sensation, pressing against my forehead with the palm of my hand automatically. He chuckled quietly, then gathered up our garbage and brought it over to the garbage can. Zeus watched him excitedly, I could tell when his tail started thumping around, and I put a calming hand on him until Edward got back. We loaded back into my truck, and after seeing the time, I told him I'd have to drop him off before I headed to work.

We were both quiet on the short drive, and as I pulled up in front of his building, I started to get nervous again. This was always the dramatic moment, the goodbye, in any sort of drama. I could safely say that Edward and I were friends now, but there was obviously something… more. It was different with Edward.

I got out of my truck so he wouldn't have to go around Zeus, and when he slid out after me, his hand on the top of the door, I got sort of awkwardly cornered by him, backed up against the inside of my opened door, his arm hovering over me.

He was so _tall._

He smiled brightly down at me, and that handsome face did crazy things to my mind.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he said, almost quietly but not quite in that deep voice, with that crooked smile. I, the eloquent person that I am, just kind of hummed while I nodded. I wasn't really breathing.

And then he just pushed off the door, and walked away. I turned and jumped back into my truck before he could catch me watching him. I looking at Zeus, and I swear to god it looked like he raised an eyebrow at me.

"Thank god you can't talk. I love you so much," I said with a smile, and then pulled out to drop him off at home.

. . . . . . . . . .

It had been a busy night at work, the club had been packed, but actually cleared out pretty quickly after two. Without Rose there, I had Jacob collect the guy's gear and clear everyone out while I supervised the bartenders count their tills, split their tips and leave.

"Hey Boss, I just wanted to let you know the cleaning crew just finished, everything is locked and everyone is out." He gave me a warm smile, leaning against his forearm on the door frame. He filled that door frame pretty thoroughly.

"Thanks Jake. You heading out?"

"Only if there's nothing else you need."

I smiled. "Actually, if you've got some free time, I've been meaning to talk to you."

He walked into the room, and folded his large frame gracefully into a chair across from me. "I've got plenty of time. What's up boss?"

"Well, I don't mean to inflate your ego, but you know you're my right hand man here, right?"

He barked out a deep laugh. "Wow, coming from you that's pretty much a compliment."

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever. It's true, but I want to know if you want more."

"I'm not exactly sure what you mean."

"What are your plans for the future Jacob? You've been working with me for eight months now, and you've brought me some good employees since then. Do you see yourself still doing this in five years?"

He slumped back in his chair, and watched me curiously for a couple minutes. I remained silent, letting him process my words.

"This is easy work for me. I'm good at keeping people organized. At first it was just easy money, but… it's kind of grown on me. I don't want to just be a bouncer though, I want more. I just don't know what yet. I've been thinking about taking some online courses, and looking for a second job since the garage closed. I just haven't found anything interesting yet."

"Well Jacob, I have a few propositions for you, if you want to hear them."

"I can't see myself turning down any propositions from you," he said, wiggling his eyebrows at me. I laughed, rolling my eyes again.

"As I said, you're like my right hand guy here Jacob, which is why I'm offering this to you first. I don't plan on working here much longer, and I will need someone who's able to cover for me if something happens to me. I want to start training someone as my replacement. You've already covered for me a few times before, and if you're up for it, I'd like to start training you in some other duties and make it more official."

He was quiet for a minute, and then a bright white smile split the warm russet skin of his face. "Really?" I nodded. "That would be great boss, I definitely accept. Thank you. What sort of stuff will I be doing?"

I smiled, a little relieved that I wouldn't have to find someone else for the job. Jake was by far my first choice, he reminded me a lot of Sam, hence my second proposal. "How good are you with computers, Jacob?"

I didn't get home until a bit after five. Jacob sat with me while I finished putting in the night's numbers, paying close attention as I explained the accounting software to him. He was fairly capable with a computer, he told me he played some online games, but there were a lot of things I wanted him to get freshened up on. He was ecstatic when I told him about the online courses I'd sponsor for him. I got him set up for the courses, one in windows software, an intro to business, an intro into accounting, and a first aid course. He'd agreed to do one at a time and shadow me in the meantime, and I told him if he wanted experience in another field of security, I could give his information to my friend Sam, who had started his own business.

Once I hit my mattress I was out cold.

. . . . . . . . . .

The two weeks went by much more easily than I thought they would have. It felt like I was constantly busy, constantly rushing.

That was the most surprising part.

I'd wake up in the mornings, go to the gym, go through Emmett's e-mails, stop by the Library for an hour to check in, have lunch with Jasper, and then head over to the club to go through Rose's and mine own work and put in some time with Jacob's training. From five in the morning until three in the afternoon, I felt like I was constantly running.

But it was because I had something to run to.

I still hung out with Alice, meeting up for dinner with her on Mondays and sometimes Wednesdays, and I was still working my Friday and Saturday nights, from my office whenever I could but every other day… There was Edward.

Every minute I spent with him made me want two minutes more. I still thought it was a bit weird how… comfortable I was around him. After everything he learned of me, my past, the threat I lived with, the way I lived my life, he was still here. Still smiling. Still looking at me like he always looked at me, constantly attentive, engrossed and just… happy.

It was contagious. Whenever he smiled at me I just wanted to smile back. He seemed so goddamn happy to just hang out in my building with me. I had been to his apartment twice in the past two weeks, only making it inside once. The second time there were just too many photographers, taking pictures of pretty much everyone that went in. When I told him about it, he had come downstairs fifteen minutes later.

I smiled as I remembered him walking out the doors, walking right past the photographers in a janitor's uniform and a horrible black wig and glasses. I had followed him down the block in my truck before he had jumped in, and I can still remember the brightness in his eyes when he smiled at my laughing face.

"What are you wearing?" I had managed to gasp as he put on his seat belt.

"What? Like I'd let a few photographers stop me from seeing you? _Please_," he had said with an eye roll.

He was nothing if not determined, and I found his stubbornness an oddly endearing trait.

And it wasn't the only one.

He was incredibly… attentive of me. There were so many things he did that made me feel like he saw me so much more clearly than others. Like the way he moved slowly when he sat next to me, like he was putting extra effort in me seeing him so he wouldn't startle me. He put in an unnecessary effort to make sure he never snuck up on me. Then there was the time he had changed tables when I was with him in LA. He held doors open for me, was always offered to carry things for me.

Despite my first impression of him… he was a real gentleman. He didn't try anything.

And he never hinted at wanting anything more. He made it incredibly clear that he just wanted to hang out with me.

It was mind boggling. I still didn't get his interest, or understand it. He told Alice that he loved me.

Edward Cullen is in love with me.

And I was quickly becoming addicted to him. The way he smiled at me, the smooth sound of his deep voice, that sparkle in his eye when he listened so intently. How safe I had felt tucked under his arm on my couch that one time, after the initial shock of unease.

It didn't help that he was ridiculously good-looking, and smelt good enough to eat.

Which was another oddity to deal with. I was attracted to Edward Cullen.

And that had never happened before. Sure, I knew when a man was good looking, but it had never been enough to make me actually attracted to someone before. Hence my lack of a history…

Is this how he felt? That nervous excitement I felt leading up to every moment I knew I was going to see him, and the peace and comfort that came when I was finally with him?

Was that love?

Was I in love with Edward?

I watched him as he changed the last tire on my truck, the way the muscles in his arm flexed under his tight t-shirt as he tightened the bolts. His lips pulling up at the corner of his mouth in that crooked grin of his.

No, I was merely attracted to him, I told myself. Even if it wasn't about his looks, that sort of feeling was just something I wasn't capable of. Maybe this is how he felt about all those other women, because I knew for certain that he did have a history.

The thought alone made my stomach twist painfully.

We carried my summer tires back to storage as I tried to push the sickening feeling out of my stomach. Was I really anything more than any of those other women? Sure, we weren't physically intimate or anything like that, but the thought of him smiling at another woman like he did for me, even looking at someone else…

Fuck.

I was jealous.

"So what time does their flight get in at?" Edward asked, carrying three tires and breaking into my chaotic thoughts. I took a deep breath to collect myself.

"Ten-thirty. Are you still coming to dinner at their place tomorrow?" He said he never loved Tanya. What about the others?

How many others were there?

"Of course. Seven, right?"

"We're eating at seven, you can come earlier if you want."

Was it pathetic that I missed him every night after he left? That I'd been tempted to ask him to stay over again, just to hang out with him for a few extra minutes?

I couldn't though. I didn't want to give him the wrong idea.

But it was becoming more and more obvious to me that I missed him whenever he wasn't with me.

"What time are you heading over at?"

"Around four."

"Want to ride over together?"

My immediate mental answer of YES was worrisome, and gave me pause. I was running down a slippery slope, I knew that. I also knew that I should stop myself while I could, before I gained too much momentum.

But I was honestly starting to think he might be worth the fall.

"Okay. I'll send you a text before I head over."

We got back up to my apartment, and I pulled out my big jug of orange soap and he joined me by my kitchen sink as we tried to get the grease off of our hands. I flinched when his elbow got close to bumping into mine, and hated the hurt look I put in his eyes. It passed quickly though, and he gave me a gentle smile before drying his hands.

"I'm just going to change, I'll only be a minute," I said quietly, not meeting his eyes. I grabbed some clothes out of my tallboy and ducked into the washroom. I turned around, and rested my forehead against the cool wood of the door.

What was wrong with me? If there was one thing I knew for certain about Edward, it was that he didn't want to hurt me. He wouldn't hurt me, at least not like Victor had. I knew this, so why did my body keep reacting the way it did?

This was Victor's fault, but unlike it usually did when I thought of him, the anger didn't come. It just… hurt. A cold, empty, lonely sort of hurt.

I wrapped my arms around myself tightly, trying to squeeze the pain out of myself, or at least stop my body from crumbling apart while I took an unsteady breath.

I heard his footsteps through the door, and that soft sound helped me start moving again. I hurt him enough as it was, it wouldn't do to crumble apart completely in my bathroom while he was here. I robotically pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a t-shirt.

The tight feeling in my chest seemed to dissolve when I walked back out and saw him inspecting my book shelves. I maybe should have warned him about those books, because quite a lot of them were no longer actual books, but he seemed fine.

"Find anything that interests you?" I asked with genuine curiosity, and bit back my laugh when he jumped almost a foot in the air before giving me that gorgeous smile.

"I don't know, you have a fucking library," he teased. "How do you even get to the ones at the top, are they just decoration?"

Yes and no? I didn't know his opinion on guns, so I kept the knowledge to myself and just demonstrated. There were grooves in the solid oak shelves that made them easily to climb. I grabbed my collector's edition copy of "A Game of Thrones" from the top shelf, and climbed down a few shelves before jumping off. I handed him the book with a grin.

"I think you might like that one, you should give it a go." He didn't say anything, just looked at me incredulously, and I fled to my kitchen to escape the unease that look gave me. He snapped out of it quickly, and jumped in front of me to stop me. I took a small step back away from the intensity of his gaze.

Fuck, what did I do? My pulse started thudding loudly in my head as I took in his anger.

"You could have fallen! You could break your neck from that height, what if the shelf fell over?"

He was angry because he was worried about me? It seemed like a sort of oxymoron. I tried my hardest to keep my voice even as I replied.

Show no signs of fear.

"Calm down Drama Queen. Those shelves are sturdy as hell, Emmett built them himself and they're anchored heavily into the wall. You'd need a wrecking ball to take those things down." It came out calm, but I still felt like I was going to be sick as I watched him. His anger seemed to dissolve as he sighed and dropped onto one of my bar stools. He took the bottle of water I handed him without looking. I was thankful he didn't see the slight tremble in my hands.

I hopped up onto the counter, feeling an odd need to apologize to him. Which was ridiculous, since I did nothing wrong. He over-reacted, and I told him so, rightfully so I think. So why did I feel so god damn guilty?

It was kind of nice, being worried about. It was different than Em or Rose.

He worries because… he loves me.

How many other girls has he done that for?

There was no way to just come out an ask something like that.

"What's up?" His voice was relaxed and smooth once again as he watched me curiously.

I shook my head. I couldn't ask him that. "No, it's nothing," I said, and hopped back off my counter. I filled Zeus' bowl, and he came barreling in like he hadn't eaten in days, though I'd fed him only hours ago, and sent kibble flying all over my clean floors. I sighed, but left it, knowing he'd suck up every single crumb before he went and took a nap. I heard Edward chuckle, and as always, the sound just drew me in, and then I got trapped in his intensely green eyes.

And then I was back to square one. How many others had he trapped with those eyes? Really, who could resist them? And why did I want to know even though I already knew the answer would be painful? It was fucked up, that's what it was.

"Something's up, just say it Bella."

"No."

He smirked, and raised an eyebrow curiously. "Stop being such a girl," he teased, deliberately trying to get a rise out of me. It had no effect on the morbid curiosity that was shouting for my attention though. I went to my fridge, desperate for some sort of distraction, and when I saw the bag of apples I sighed in relief, took them out, and grabbed a bowl and peeler before I attacked the bag.

I don't know how he had so much damn patience with me, but when he spoke again his voice was gentle. "Whatever you're stressing out over, you're probably blowing it out of proportion in your mind," he said logically. "You'll feel better if you just say it, and you know I'm not going anywhere, so I don't see why you're being so nervous."

Fuck, if he really wanted me to say it, I was going to fucking say it. I ripped off the Band-Aid.

"How many girlfriends have you had?"

He tensed immediately, and the room was silent for a moment, only the sound of my peeler cutting through the skin of the apple in my hand breaking the quiet. He let out a soft sigh before he spoke.

"I'm not sure, actually."

Well, at least he was being honest. Still, it was hard not to cringe. I managed to force a grin and keep my voice light, though it felt as though I'd been kicked in the gut.

"That many?"

I was just expecting a laugh or something similar, but instead he gave me an answer that kind of made everything better.

"It's just…. There was nothing really worth remembering. I never really connected with any of the women I was with, and they never lasted long. Tanya was the longest relationship I had been in."

Well, I knew that _we_ had a connection. That was pretty damn obvious to both of us. Did that mean he cared more about me, than any of those women he'd actually slept with? We didn't really have any sort of romantic relationship, we just… hung out. And haven't even been doing so for very long.

The way he was looking at me know though, the sincerity in his eyes, the regret, the fucking passion in them, I knew that was exactly what he meant.

I wanted him to know that I hadn't felt this sort of pull to anyone else, ever in my life. I've never wanted to be close to someone like I have him, but I just couldn't find the words. Instead I just went off of something he said, and I voiced my curiosity. What did he consider a long relationship?

"How long?"

"Eight months," he said easily, eying the apple that I was slicing. I handed him a piece, and he grinned like a little boy before popping it into his mouth. "Does that… bother you?"

Really, since he told me he had never loved Tanya, and that I knew of the resentment he now held for her, the idea that he had been in a relationship with her really didn't bother me.

And he cared more about me than any of them. The appeal of that lifestyle was still a difficult concept for me to grasp though. "No, not really. I was kind of expecting your answer to be honest. I just have trouble wrapping my mind around it."

"Why is that?"

"I can't see the appeal in being with someone you don't care for. Yeah, I know guys like sex and everything, but can it really be that enjoyable if you're not enjoying who you're doing with?" Because even with my own history, I knew that it obviously wasn't always like that. Some women loved it, but to me the idea was just terrifying, and held no appeal at all.

And I'm pretty sure he knew that. Again, why was he still here? I looked up at him, and the barely concealed rage in his expression startled me. I was trapped though, and as he looked back at me, I saw the emotion fade to something more gentle before it was replaced with his crooked smile.

"It can be… empty. But it can be quite enjoyable too. The aspect of release, it's something that has to be experienced to be understood," he said in a deep, smooth voice, not breaking eye contact with me for a second. I felt my face flame red under his cocky gaze from his words. Knowing he could probably see the clear proof of my embarrassment made it that much worse, and he kept his smile easily while he thankfully changed the subject. "So, what are you making?"

I sighed in relief. "Apple crisp."

"What's that?"

"Stick around and you'll find out," I said, and for a moment wished he was capable of reading my mind.

_I want you to stay._

He gave me an easy smile, and I grinned back as I went back to peeling.

. . . . . . . . . .

**Thanks for reading! And thanks for all those that leave reviews, every single one makes me smile ;)**


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